CHAPTER 7

 

 

I’m not like the other girls you see,

Like the one that’s on TV

I’m just plain and boring me.

 

I like spending time alone

Playing music on my own

Get lost in my own world

 

“World.” Fawn said to herself pulling a pencil from behind her ear. “World.” She repeated the word in thought, staring down at the lyrics she had scribbled in her moleskin. Her fingers absently thrum the strings of the guitar on her lap when her phone rang.

“Fawn.” She answered, still staring at the lyrics.

“Hello Superstar! Tired of normalcy yet?” John’s friendly voice boomed over the phone.

“Hi John, if staying in the penthouse of a luxury hotel is what you call normal then no, I’m not ready to come back yet.” Fawn had allowed Dom to reveal her location to John after their near brush with reveal a few days before. Fawn hoped John wouldn’t leak her location to the press himself.

“Fawn.” John moaned. “I can get you a spot on THE talk show in town. Let’s just say she’s small, blonde, and can’t wait to have you.”

Excitement bubbled through Fawn. She knew exactly who John was talking about. “When?”

“This Thursday. Say yes Fawn, this is a great opportunity.” John pushed.

Fawn bit her lower lip as her eyes trailed over to where her moleskin lay open with freshly written lyrics. She rubbed her thumb against her forefinger and felt the fresh calluses from strumming a guitar hours at a time. Was she really ready to go back yet? She had so much more she still wanted to write.

If she went back now, when would she have time to finish what she had started?

She owed it to herself to finish. “No John, I’m sorry. I’ll be back in three weeks.”

“What?” John nearly screeched.

Fawn took a deep breath. “John, I told you I’m taking a month off. I’m not coming back before then; if I do you’ll be the first to know. I’m taking some time for myself for the first time in three years. Why don’t you take a holiday yourself?”

“I don’t like holidays.” John said. Fawn could almost imagine him pouting.

“Why don’t you at least try?”

“But Fawn, we can’t let this opportunity pass.”

“If a certain small blonde with a talk show really wants me on there, she still will in a few weeks. Talk to you soon John.”

Fawn put the phone down and uncrossed her fingers. Ever since she had appointed John Piwalsky as her manager he had come through on the two things he had promised her. He had kept her busy, and made her famous.

In three years Fawn had never denied John any request or appearance, she had always trusted his judgment. It didn’t matter how tired, sore, or jet-lagged she was; if John asked, Fawn said yes.

Saying no to John was one of the hardest things Fawn had ever done, but it felt good.

Felt good to be her own person, make her own decisions and most of all to write her own music.

Feeling like celebrating, Fawn grabbed her disguise consisting of a sunhat and glasses and headed to the grocery store. Who cared if it wasn’t even noon yet? She was going to spoil herself with chocolate and some chips. Besides, what’s the use of being in the Hamptons if you didn’t even take a walk in the fresh sea air?

 

 

Fawn’s mouth watered as she tossed the extra large peppermint chocolate bar into her basket on top of the crisp and hazelnut pralines. She was going to have to spend the last week in the Hamptons fasting or John would never forgive her. She walked up and down the aisles of the grocery store watching its patron. Mothers pushing prams while they wrestled with a trolley on the side. Couples on holiday browsing the items and whispering to each other now and then. A businessman grabbing a pack of condoms and a box of breath mints, obviously on his way to a big meeting, Fawn smiled to herself as she thought about what that meeting entailed.

She had missed this. Just being another person in the crowd. Not being in the spotlight all the time. Every move judged by millions of people and photographed for the world to see.

As she passed the fresh fruits and vegetables and saw a young woman loading in a few choice items, Fawn couldn’t help but wonder if she would ever learn to cook. Lost in thought and dreaming about the future, Fawn didn’t hear when someone called her name the first time.

“Fawn!”

Fawn pulled her shoulders up and burrowed into the hat and sunglasses. Why did someone have to recognize her now? She increased her pace hoping whoever recognized her would realize their mistake when she didn’t respond.

She had almost turned the corner when she felt a soft touch on her shoulder. “It’s me, Danny.” A voice said from behind her.

Fawn turned and saw the surfer from the fishing shop watching her expectantly with a wide grin. She couldn’t help but return the smile. “Danny, it’s nice to see you.”

“You too. Getting around all right? I’m still waiting for you to ask me to show you around.” He winked and Fawn felt a quiet flicker of attraction. Not the wild thunder that crashed through her body when Seth was around. The flicker was more comfortable, felt safer.

“Thanks Danny but actually I forgot about your offer.”

“Well you can always take me up on it now.” Danny said leaning closer. “I know the best Italian spot in town, Rosetta’s Ravioli. Why don’t you let me take you?”

“Danny I’m not sure that’s a good idea. There’s a lot about me you don’t know.”

Danny leaned close and Fawn felt that brief flicker of attraction again. “I know who you are…” At his words Fawn felt a chill run down her spine. “Your secret is safe with me Fawn.”

Fawn pulled back and looked him in the eye. If he thought she would be blackmailed into a date he had another thing coming. But she saw no hidden agenda in his eyes. They were earnest as the smile he gave her. “Come on, go to dinner with me?”

Fawn smiled at his pleading eyes. She had agreed to a date with Seth tonight. Conflicting thoughts rushed through her. Having dinner with Seth; her body humming and fever rising from anticipation?

Or a night with Danny; easy conversation with a man that gave her no more than a comfortable flicker of attraction and a pleasant smile.

Fawn bit the inside of her cheek in thought before she took off her glasses and smiled at Danny. “Meet you there at seven pm.”

Excitement quickly covered Danny’s face before he swiftly disguised it with a cocky grin. “Lookin’ forward to it.”

 

As Fawn walked back to the hotel she couldn’t help but feel bad about dropping Seth. He had been so earnest in his apology, but was that enough? Deep down he was just another alpha male with rich parents and a large ego. Just like Rufus was. Rufus had made her feel like the only girl in the room when he put his mind to it. But once he stopped, the room wasn’t large enough for Fawn and his ego.

Caught off guard by the fact that Danny knew who she was, she also appreciated the fact that no hassle was made of it.

Fawn knew that Seth would give her fireworks and goose bumps, but maybe she needed the quiet warmth and slow attraction she felt with Johnny. Something that couldn’t burn you like fireworks or drive you senseless with fever.

Pulling out the peanut brittle she had grabbed on her way to the cashier, Fawn opened it and took a large bite. As the salty sweetness overtook her senses she pulled out her phone and sent a text to Seth.

Can’t make tonight.

Sorry

-F-

She tucked her phone back in her pocket and pushed the guilt back for cancelling with Seth. By the time her peanut brittle finished she entered the hotel lobby, ready with the next lyrics for the song she was working on.