Chapter Ten
THE BIRDS OUTSIDE her window woke Evangeline the next morning with their joyful singing. She wished they would all fly away and let her sleep, for she had gotten little rest in the previous hours. Hard as she’d tried to put her argument with Jasper Chase out of her mind, bits of it had run through her thoughts over and over, making her head ache and her stomach churn.
Her employer had made no further mention of her leaving Amberwood. Then again, he’d had little opportunity with the children always present. He must know as well as she how they would react to such an announcement. She resented his attempt to intimidate her that way. It reminded her of how the Pendergast teachers had made her and Leah obey by threatening to punish their more sensitive friends.
The tactic had worked in both cases. In their later years at school, she and Leah had been less overtly rebellious. After her interview with Mr. Chase, Evangeline had warned his children not to mention going to Manchester until their father got used to the idea. Though, after the way he’d reacted, she doubted he would ever get used to it.
Perhaps it was just as well they’d had this falling-out, Evangeline reflected as she dragged herself out of bed to face the day. Lately she had become too close to him for her peace of mind. She’d begun to question whether someone else might do just as well at founding a new charity school, while the Chase family might find her impossible to replace.
It would not be the first time her liking for a strong-willed man had tempted her to abandon her plans for the future. Fortunately she had come to her senses when Mr. Preston tried to remake her into his ideal of the perfect submissive wife, as she was coming to them now. Her teachers had been wrong about a great many things, but they had been right to warn her that she would only secure a husband by curbing her strong will. Men like Jasper Chase would always insist on having their way, even when their way was wrong and hers was right!
With that thought, Evangeline stabbed the last pin deep into her hair and marched out of the room as quietly as she could manage. Only consideration for her sleeping pupils kept her from slamming the door of her bedchamber behind her.
The sight of Jasper Chase sitting at the nursery table made her jump back with a barely stifled shriek stuck in her throat.
“What has you so nervous this morning?” he demanded in a gruff whisper. “Have you been reading Gothic novels before bed?”
Evangeline was inclined to view the question as a deliberate insult until she recalled that his late wife had enjoyed reading such books. Besides, he was pouring her coffee—a service for which she was willing to forgive a great deal.
“I did not expect to see you here this morning.” She marshaled her dignity as much as possible after her foolish fright.
Mr. Chase appeared puzzled for a moment and then surprised. “You mean because of our talk yesterday? I thought the issue was resolved in a most satisfactory manner.”
As she took a seat opposite him, Evangeline gave a derisive sniff. “Satisfactory for you perhaps. I do not respond well to being bullied, especially when the harm is threatened to others.”
She would have said more, but the rich aroma of the coffee was impossible to resist. She settled for fixing her employer with a fierce scowl as she lifted the cup to her lips.
“Bullied?” he sputtered, clearly hard-pressed to keep his voice down. “Threatened? I did no such thing.”
Evangeline’s brows flew up. “Then what did you mean by saying I must leave Amberwood at once if I did not discourage the children from asking to go live with you in Manchester? Was it a jest, perhaps, that I misunderstood?”
Though his unexpected presence had given her a turn and they were arguing again, Evangeline found herself strangely pleased to be in his company again. They might not always agree, but at least Jasper Chase treated her like a person worthy of his confidence.
“It was not a jest,” he muttered. At first, Evangeline assumed he was cross with her. But the more he spoke, the more she sensed he might be angry with himself. “But it was not altogether in earnest, either. It was certainly never meant as a threat. I only wanted to impress upon you the depth of my feelings in the matter.”
“You certainly did that.” She wanted to stay vexed with him but it was not easy. Perhaps she had been more forceful than necessary in her arguments. And perhaps she ought to have consulted him before encouraging Owen’s idea of going to Manchester.
“I suppose you often received threats at that wretched school you attended.” Jasper Chase bent forward to sip his coffee. Somehow it looked like a bow of contrition.
Evangeline nodded. “When the teachers discovered some of us could not be cowed by ridicule, deprivations or the switch, they resorted to punishing our innocent friends for our acts of defiance. That was most effective from their point of view, but I considered it wickedly unjust.”
Her employer’s bold, attractive features darkened and his fingers clenched around the handle of his cup. Evangeline thought she glimpsed a flicker of shame in his blue-gray eyes. “Do you intend to egg my children on about going to Manchester again now that you know I will not dismiss you for it?”
“No.” Even if she had not cared about waking the children, Evangeline could scarcely coax her voice above a whisper. Her conscience chided her as a traitor to the welfare of her pupils. “I still believe I am right, but you are their father and I do not wish to cause strife between you. Especially not with the changes they will soon face.”
“Thank you.” He stretched his hand across the table and for a foolish instant Evangeline thought he meant to clasp hers.
Though caution and propriety warned her not to respond to the compelling invitation, she could not stop her hand from inching toward his.
Fortunately, before it reached him, Mr. Chase motioned toward her cup. “Can I get you more coffee?”
“Yes, please!” She nearly upset the cup in her haste to push it toward him.
If he had noticed her reaching for his hand, Mr. Chase was enough of a gentleman to pretend otherwise. “I know you believe the children should be near me, but I am not alone in my opinion that the city is no place for them. Miss Webster agrees with me.”
Why did his casual remark sear through her in a white-hot flash? By contrast, Evangeline’s reply was so cold she wondered that her breath did not frost the air. “Does she? You discussed the matter with her?”
Jasper Chase nodded. “Last night, after dinner. She noticed my preoccupation and asked the cause. That was kind of her, don’t you think?”
“Very kind.” Evangeline felt as if her face were paralyzed into a bland mask that bore no relation to the emotions churning inside her.
Until now, she had viewed Margaret Webster as a good prospective stepmother for her pupils and a fine wife for their father. If Miss Webster agreed to marry her employer, Evangeline would feel free to leave Amberwood with a clear conscience, knowing the family was in capable, affectionate hands. But Jasper Chase’s account of his conversation with Miss Webster changed all that.
“We spoke at some length,” he continued, “while she was tracing my shade. An excellent likeness she made of it, too.”
Evangeline gave a nod of feigned interest. All the while, she could not help thinking that tracing the outline of a person’s shadow might take skill and a steady hand but no particular talent. Her friend Rebecca could sketch a portrait that not only captured an accurate likeness of the sitter but a glimpse into their heart and soul as well.
“I told her about the children hankering to go to Manchester,” Jasper Chase went on, oblivious to Evangeline’s reaction. “She said she could not understand why anyone would want to live there when they were fortunate enough to have a place in the country.”
“I see.” Evangeline forced her frozen mouth to work.
He nodded. “I will admit I was skeptical of this matchmaking scheme of yours at first, but I am beginning to see the wisdom of it. My children do need a mother. If they have one, I expect they will be happy to stay at Amberwood with her and give up any notion of living in Manchester.”
Would they? Evangeline was not so sure. If Mr. Chase married Miss Webster, the lady would be little more than a congenial stranger to his children. Evangeline was as close to a mother as most of the young Chases had ever known. Yet they still hankered to spend more time with their father, like a true family. Did he believe the children would become so much more attached to Miss Webster than to her that they would no longer miss his regular presence in their lives?
That thought stung. So did the lady’s disagreement with her about where the children should live. At least their father had unselfish reasons for his opinion. Did Miss Webster favor the children remaining in the country because she preferred to live there? Did she seek to curry favor with Mr. Chase by agreeing with him? Or was she one of those women who believed a man’s ideas were always right?
None of those possibilities endeared her to Evangeline. She turned a deaf ear as her employer praised the superiority of Miss Webster’s understanding, but her attention revived when he said, “I think you will be proud of me.”
She was already proud of the life he had fashioned for himself from the humblest beginning and the commitment he had made to improve the lives of others. “Why is that?”
“Because,” he replied, “I followed your advice. I told Miss Webster something about myself and encouraged her to talk about something of interest to her. We had a most satisfactory conversation.”
“I am pleased to hear it.” That falsehood weighed heavy on Evangeline’s tongue.
“I thought you would be.” Jasper Chase looked absurdly like his son Alfie when the boy received her praise. “That is why I came here this morning.”
Evangeline gave a rueful grin. “To boast of your conquest?”
He chuckled as if he believed she had intended to amuse him. “I have not made a conquest of Miss Webster yet. But with more of your excellent lessons, I hope to.”
He wanted her help to win the hand of a woman she was no longer certain would be the right sort of wife for him? Evangeline struggled to swallow that irony, which she found a good deal more bitter than her coffee.
Miss Fairfax did not seem nearly as enthusiastic about helping him as she had been at first. Jasper found her change in attitude rather annoying, considering this matchmaking business had been her idea.
He’d resisted it in the beginning but lately he had begun to change his mind. Would the same ever be true of Miss Fairfax’s claim that the children belonged with him in Manchester? Jasper did not want to believe it, but he could not be entirely certain. That was why he’d been so grateful to Margaret Webster for agreeing with him.
There was a great deal more about the lady to recommend her as a prospective bride. She had a pleasant personality and got along with all his children. Her background was similar to his late wife’s and she preferred to live in the country. Besides, her father seemed anxious for a match between them. If they were related by marriage, Piers Webster might be willing to try some of Jasper’s reforms.
Was that enough on which to build a marriage? Jasper’s heart demanded. Shouldn’t he feel something more for a woman he would consider making his bride?
Perhaps not, he tried to persuade himself. Marriage based on romantic feelings was for the young. He had responsibilities to his family and his work that must come before sentiment. He did not want to care for any woman so much that his feelings for her might distract him from his work.
In response to his request for more courting lessons, Miss Fairfax shifted in her chair as if it had suddenly grown uncomfortable. “I am not certain I have anything more to teach you, Mr. Chase.”
“Surely you must,” he appealed her. “Two lessons on any subject is hardly a proper course of study. Your first two lessons proved most valuable.”
Evangeline Fairfax avoided his gaze. “The extra sleep would likely provide more benefit than coming here so early every morning to consult with me.”
She might be right, yet Jasper found himself reluctant to give up these early-morning chats. Even when Miss Fairfax urged him to talk about the past he would rather forget, this time with her seemed to get his day off to a proper start. It was like the coffee they shared. The brew might be bitter or a trifle too hot, but it was always stimulating and made him hanker for more.
“Why are you so reluctant to assist me all of a sudden?” he asked. “I thought you wanted me to marry Miss Webster as soon as possible so you could leave to set up your school.”
Now that he understood her motives for wanting to take on that task, he no longer begrudged her need to leave Amberwood.
“Of course I do,” she insisted. “It’s just that....”
Jasper had been told enough falsehoods in his life that he had could recognize one when he heard it. “Do you no longer approve of Miss Webster because she agrees with me that the children are better off here than in Manchester?”
In response to his blunt question, the governess met his gaze head-on. “I cannot deny it has given me second thoughts.”
“Why?” he demanded. “Because you want to leave a deputy behind who will act and believe just as you would, even if that puts her at odds with me? Is that any way to insure my children’s happiness, by having their parents in constant disagreement?”
Miss Fairfax flinched at his questions, making Jasper suspect she had not considered the matter in that light. “I do not want any such thing. But neither do I want your children to have a mother who never questions their father’s decisions and always believes he knows best about everything. Such an arrangement might make for a peaceful household but at what price? I know you want what is best for your children, but your judgment is no more infallible than that of any other man or woman.”
Even when he thought he had her outwitted, Evangeline Fairfax had a knack for challenging him in a way he found difficult to refute. Jasper could not decide whether to be indignant or amused. Perhaps a little of both with a helping of grudging admiration thrown in for good measure.
“I never claimed to be infallible.” He could not suppress a self-mocking grin. “I only want a wife who will understand the importance of my work and support me in it. Not one who will view it as a rival and constantly seek to distract me from it.”
The moment the words left his mouth, Jasper knew he had said too much—especially in the nursery, where one of his children might wake and overhear. He cast a furtive glance toward the bedroom doors.
Relieved to see no sign of the children stirring, he resolved to change the subject. “Come now, will you give me another courting lesson or must I blunder along on my own? What more proof do you need that I do not consider myself infallible?”
“Not on this subject perhaps.” The lady’s resistance seemed to be waning. “Very well then. I have another suggestion or two that might help you.”
“Excellent!” Winning her cooperation pleased him a great deal. “The days are slipping by and I need to make more progress with Miss Webster before she leaves.”
Miss Fairfax gave a terse nod. Though she had agreed to assist him further, Jasper sensed he had not entirely overcome her reluctance.
“Do not laugh,” she warned him, “for my next suggestion may seem tiresomely obvious. You should praise the lady. Not with shallow flattery of her looks, though the occasional compliment of that sort might not go amiss. Express your approval of her understanding, her conversation, her way with children... her artistic talent.”
Was it his imagination or did that last suggestion sound rather ironic?
“Whatever quality or skill you praise,” Miss Fairfax continued, “make certain you are sincere. She may be able to tell if you are not and that would be as bad as an insult.”
Jasper nodded. “It is rather obvious but still important. I reckon I should make more effort to praise people—not only Miss Webster but my children and my workers. Now, to practice my lesson.”
“That will not be necessary.” In spite of her brusque reply, Miss Fairfax blushed a little. “I have no doubt you can do it, provided you remember to.”
“Nonsense,” Jasper waved away her objection. “Any skill benefits from practice, though finding qualities to praise in you does not present much of a challenge.”
“You see?” Miss Fairfax sounded almost severe, but the deepening color in her cheeks told a different story. “You are a skilled flatterer already. That sort of subtlety should endear you to Miss Webster.”
“I was not trying to flatter you.” The thought offended Jasper somehow. “Only stating the truth. Surely you know how much there is to admire about you. Your strength of character to have survived that wretched school with your spirit unbroken. Your generosity in forging your circle of friends when it would have been easier to look out for yourself.”
As he gathered breath to continue, Miss Fairfax cut him off. “Well done. You have obviously mastered the lesson. There is no need to continue.”
Jasper could imagine her taking that tone as she examined one of his children’s compositions.
“I am not finished,” he replied as he might have if one of his workers interrupted him. “You have been patient with me during the past two years. Instead of appreciating your forbearance, I imposed upon it to an inexcusable degree. You were justified to issue your ultimatum. You have done everything in your power to insure my children continue to be properly cared for. If they are not, the responsibility will be mine, not yours.”
It puzzled him that Evangeline Fairfax reacted to his words with increasing agitation rather than pleasure. When he finished speaking, she jumped up from her seat as if it were strewn with hot coals. “Thank you, sir, but that is quite enough. I do not want any of the children to overhear you. I am certain I hear them stirring.”
Jasper could not detect any sounds from the children’s rooms that suggested they might be awake. Perhaps six years of caring for his children had made their governess’s hearing more acute.
She rushed to the girls’ door and pushed it open. “Just as I thought, Rosie is awake and anxious to see her papa.”
She entered the bedroom and returned a moment later with the child in her arms. Rosie yawned and rubbed her eyes. Odd as it seemed, Jasper suspected her governess had woken his daughter to prevent him from praising her any further.
Had he truly mastered his latest lesson in courting, Jasper wondered, or failed to grasp it at all?
Why could she not bear to hear Jasper Chase say such kind things about her?
Evangeline continued to ponder that riddle later in the day, when the Amberwood party went on a boating excursion down the river Eden. Had all the criticism heaped upon her at the Pendergast School made it impossible for her to accept any kind of praise?
Somehow she did not think that was the answer. She and her friends had always tried to build up one another’s confidence beyond the power of any teacher or bully to tear down. It had worked better for some of the girls than others, but she was reasonably certain she did not think any worse of herself than she deserved. If anything, her experiences at school might have made her too quick to shrug off criticism without taking time to consider whether there might be a grain of truth in it.
Then what had flustered her so much about the things Jasper Chase said that morning? Intuition warned her she might be better off not knowing.
As she helped get the children seated in the barge Mr. Chase had hired for their voyage, Evangeline found her gaze drawn toward her employer and Miss Webster as they engaged in conversation. An unaccountable stab of pain lanced her heart when she saw him look into the lady’s eyes and murmur some words to her.
Whatever he said clearly pleased Miss Webster. She gazed up at him through her flirtatious fringe of lashes and made some reply that Evangeline could not make out. He responded with a chuckle, then suddenly glanced over and caught Evangeline staring at them.
A ridiculous spasm of shame urged her to look away and pretend she had not been watching. But Mr. Chase did not appear to resent her interest. Instead, he raised his bold, dark eyebrows in a way that suggested he was seeking her approval. He must have paid Miss Webster a compliment and been gratified by her simpering response.
Simpering? Evangeline chided herself for such a harsh thought. Miss Webster had reacted in the way any woman might when she received praise from an attractive man. It was precisely the way she should want Miss Webster to respond, just as he was behaving the way she should want him to. But instead of satisfaction and approval, Evangeline was gripped by darker emotions she did not understand.
Mr. Chase beckoned his daughters to join him and Miss Webster. He took Emma on his knee while Rosie climbed onto the lady’s. So intently was Evangeline watching them that she did not notice the vicar’s sister lean close to her.
“It looks as if our handsome host has made his choice.” Miss Brookes’s gleeful whisper caused Evangeline to start violently.
“F-forgive me!” she stammered. “My thoughts were elsewhere.”
If Abigail Brookes guessed where that might have been, she gave no sign. “I cannot blame him. It is the best match of the lot. My poor brother will be disappointed, though. If he could get me off his hands, he might be able to afford a wife.”
The rest of the party were all talking, so no one seemed to overhear Miss Brookes’s confidential murmur. Neither did they notice her subtle nod toward the stern of the barge. There sat the vicar and Verity Dawson on either side of Owen. They spoke quietly to the boy, pointing out sights of interest along the riverbank. But when their gazes met over the child’s head, Evangeline sensed another unspoken conversation taking place.
Her heart went out to them, though her sympathy was accompanied by an unwelcome pang of longing.
“I like boats!” Matthew announced to no one in particular. “They are always taking you to someplace new. I want to be a sea captain when I grow up.”
Evangeline’s gaze flew to the boy’s father. At his son’s words, Jasper Chase’s features set in a rueful frown, which she was certain she could interpret. Clearly he hoped his children would carry on his work once they were grown. But how could he expect that unless they were brought up from an early age to understand his commitment to improving the lives of millworkers and their families.
As the other children chimed in to tell what they would like to do in the future, Evangeline took the opportunity to respond to Abigail Brookes. “Are you not the least bit sorry on your own account?”
Should she have done more to encourage Mr. Chase to consider Abigail as a wife?
The vicar’s sister shook her head. “I have concluded that some women are not suited for marriage. I believe you and I fall into that group, Miss Fairfax.”
Was that true? Part of Evangeline agreed most emphatically. She had important work to do, which was not compatible with family life. Besides, she could never be happy subduing her strong will in order to conform to a husband’s wishes.
And yet, as she watched Jasper Chase talking and laughing with Miss Webster, another part of her—a weak, foolish part, no doubt—wished she were a different kind of woman. A woman who could be content with the love of a good man... if she were capable of winning it.