Chapter Sixteen
SEATED IN THE library of Nethercross, Evangeline leaned forward and gave Lady Steadwell’s hand an affectionate squeeze. “I do hope you and your husband can forgive me for appearing on your doorstep without a word of warning. It was kind of you to make me so welcome, under the circumstances.”
“Tosh.” Grace chuckled as she drew back and began to pour them tea. “It was a lovely surprise. I wish our other friends would drop in on me like this, but it is not so easy now that we all have families to consider. That is one selfish reason I will be so pleased to get our school up and running, so we can all get together for regular meetings of the trustees.”
“Ah, yes—the school.” Evangeline pulled a wry face. Seeing Grace again after so many years brought their school days much closer and made her feel guiltier than ever about how she had neglected her duty. “I cannot tell you how sorry I am for taking so long to get started. When I think if those poor children at Pendergast, sick and dying, I wonder if I can ever forgive myself.”
“That was not your fault,” said Grace in the reassuring way Evangeline remembered so well. “I hope my letter did not make it sound as if I blamed you.”
She passed Evangeline a steaming cup of tea. “I did not mean to drag you away from the Chases. I only wondered—well, we all did—whether you might have changed your mind about wanting to run the school. We worried you might think you’d be letting us down, but of course you wouldn’t. We wanted to give you an excuse to change your mind if you were so inclined.”
She fixed Evangeline with her perceptive gaze, which had a way of always getting at the truth. “Are you so inclined? Believe me, none of us will think any less of you for it.”
“I want to do this.” Evangeline strove to persuade her friend of her certainty... and perhaps herself as well.
On the long journey from Amberwood, reading Grace’s last letter over and over, she had clung to Mr. Webster’s assurance that establishing the school was a matter of great urgency and importance. The sights she’d glimpsed while traveling through England’s industrial Midlands had opened her eyes to the hardship so prevalent outside the peaceful Vale of Eden. All those things had reinforced her commitment to the work she knew she was meant to do.
But even in the short time she’d been a guest at Nethercross, doubts had begun to gnaw at her resolve. Seeing how happy Grace and Lord Steadwell were in their marriage and their family made her long to experience that sweet, domestic fulfillment for herself. When she spent time with Grace’s stepdaughters and little son, she felt the loss of Emma, Matthew, Alfie, Owen and Rosie as if the five fingers of her right hand had been amputated.
“I don’t doubt that you want to.” Graces’s tone of gentle sympathy made it sound as if she understood far more of Evangeline’s situation than her friend had told her. “But is that all you want?”
It was no use trying to conceal anything from someone who seemed to know so much already. Evangeline shook her head. “I cannot deny I want more than just that. But I cannot have everything I want and since I must choose...”
“The other things you want,” Grace prompted her. “Do they include the love of a husband and children? None of your friends would want you to give that up.”
Evangeline wished she could share her friend’s staunch certainty. “There is more to it than that. I feel if I give up one for the other, I would lose a part of myself.”
“Why is that?” Grace’s brow creased with a look of fond concern.
Her entreaty was too powerful for Evangeline to resist. Laying the whole complicated situation before her friend might not yield a solution, but at least it might confirm in her own mind that she had done the right thing in coming here. “Do you remember when we were at school how the teachers used to say I would never get a husband if I did not subdue my strong will and independent streak?”
Grace gave a soft chuckle that seemed to ring with a gloating note. “According to them, none of us had a chance of ever being married. Rebecca and Hannah were not pretty enough. You and Leah were too willful. I was too vain. We all knew it was nonsense when it came to the others. But for ourselves, I reckon we took those predictions more to heart. Trust me, Evangeline. They were no truer for you than for any of us.”
“Weren’t they?” She cradled her teacup in her cold hands. “I wish I could be sure.”
She told Grace about Jasper, what a strong, compassionate man he was. How he wanted a wife who would support him and agree with him in everything he did.
“And Mr. Chase cares for you?” asked Grace when Evangeline fell silent. “We thought he must, the way he kept delaying your departure. What fine work he is doing with his mill! I have heard of a philanthropist in Scotland who is doing something similar. If only there were more men of business like them. I must say, you and he sound well matched in your strength, your determination and your practical concern for those who need your help.”
“That is half the problem.” Evangeline sighed. “We were too much alike—both leaders, not followers. A marriage between us could never work out.”
“Not easily, perhaps.” Grace seemed to agree while doing exactly the opposite. “Here in the country, I have often seen how a strong team of horses or oxen can work better when harnessed side by side than when one is behind the other.”
Evangeline could not suppress a bittersweet grin at the image of her and Jasper yoked together to pull a load. “That only works when the creatures have a skilled teamster to lead them.”
“Exactly.” Grace lifted her gaze upward. “Could Our Lord not be as good a teamster as a shepherd? After all, horses are clever animals, but sheep, poor things, are so very dim-witted.”
Her friend’s words made Evangeline laugh, but they also shed a ray of sunlight into her soul. For a sweet, breathtaking instant, nothing seemed impossible.
Then she remembered how she had left Jasper’s children in tears and deserted him without even a word of farewell.
“No doubt He can.” She set down her cup with trembling hands and a heavy heart. “But it is too late for Jasper and me.”
“Are you certain?” asked Grace.
As Evangeline pondered her friend’s gentle challenge, a knock sounded on the library door.
“Yes?” Grace called.
A footman entered. “A caller to see you, miss.”
“Can they wait or come back later?” asked Grace. “I am occupied at the moment.”
The servant shook his head. “It is not you they want, my lady. It is Miss Fairfax and they have come rather a long way.”
“Mr. Chase, is it?” Grace rose, her eyes alight.
When the footman nodded, she cried, “By all means, fetch the gentleman in at once!”
Had he made a great mistake acting on impulse and coming so far to show up uninvited at Lord and Lady Steadwell’s door? As Jasper waited for their footman to summon Evangeline, doubts began to assail him. Would she view his pursuit of her as a sign that he did not respect her choice? Would she think he meant to coerce her into following his wishes? Would she be vexed with him for imposing on her friends?
He silenced those thoughts by reminding himself that he would get to see her. Even if she rejected him again, at least he would be able to say a proper goodbye.
A gentleman descended the stairs just then with two girls holding his hands. One looked a bit older than Emma, but with a dreamy air more like Rosie. The other girl Jasper guessed to be two or three years older. Her bouncy step and bright smile put him in mind of Alfie.
“Welcome to Nethercross.” The man extended his hand to Jasper. “I am Rupert Kendrick. Can I help you?”
Jasper shook the captain’s hand warmly. “My name is Jasper Chase. I’ve come from up north to see Miss Fairfax. I believe she is a guest here. One of your servants has gone to fetch her for me.”
“I see.” Lord Steadwell nodded as if he understood far more about Jasper’s errand than he had been told. “I wish you the very best, Mr. Chase. If you find yourself staying in this part of the country, I hope you will be our guest at Nethercross. Phoebe and Sophie love company, don’t you, girls?”
The girls nodded, one more vigorously than the other but both with winsome smiles that assured Jasper of a warm welcome.
“That is very kind of you, but I fear it might be more inconvenient than you realize.” Briefly, Jasper explained why.
“That is no excuse not to stay!” The older girl headed for the door. “In fact, it is a better reason why you should.”
“Phoebe!” The baron shook his head at her forwardness, which did not offend Jasper in the least. “There will be no getting away for you now, I fear, Mr. Chase.”
Jasper wanted to believe that was true. But how could he stay if Evangeline turned him down?
The footman reappeared just then, followed by a golden-haired beauty with a rather indomitable air.
“Mr. Chase!” She greeted him as if they were long and warmly acquainted. “I am Miss Fairfax’s friend, Grace. I see you have met my husband and two of our girls. Do come in and see Evangeline. We were just taking tea in the library. You will not be disturbed there. Take as long as you need.”
Without letting Jasper get a word in, she led him toward the library then practically pushed him through the door, which she shut behind him with some force.
At the sight of Evangeline rising from a narrow settee, Jasper seemed to lose his powers of speech and movement. This was his last chance and so much depended on his success or failure.
“You must excuse my friend,” she said. “I do not recall her being so bossy when we were at school. That was my role. I believe marriage has had an unfortunate effect on Grace in that regard.”
Thanking Providence for such a promising opening, Jasper forced himself toward Evangeline. “You reckon marriage has made Lady Steadwell more strong-minded? How can that be? I met her husband just now and he seemed to have a determined character as well.”
Evangeline nodded. “He is a very kind gentleman, but running such a large estate is not a task for the faint of heart.”
“Do he and his wife get on well together, in spite of it?”
“Very well indeed.” Evangeline sounded surprised as she sank back onto the settee. “Grace is not under Lord Steadwell’s thumb, nor he under hers. From everything I have seen since I arrived, they seem very happy together.”
Jasper looked around the Nethercross library and saw no chairs near enough to allow for comfortable conversation.
Casting Evangeline an apologetic glance, he took a seat beside her on the settee. “Forgive me for following you here. I could not leave matters between us as they were after our last conversation.”
“How did you know where to find me?” She regarded him warily, making Jasper wonder whether she was flattered or vexed by his pursuit.
“I made Piers Webster tell me where you’d gone. He had no business to spirit you away like that, with so much unresolved between us.”
“I thought it was resolved when you walked out of the nursery,” Evangeline replied. “Besides, Mr. Webster did not spirit me anywhere. He was kind enough to offer me his assistance and I accepted.”
“Piers Webster was not being kind!” Jasper rolled his eyes. For such a self-reliant woman, Evangeline was sometimes too trusting. But could he persuade her to trust him? “He wanted you gone from Amberwood, so that I might forget you and propose to his daughter.”
“Why did you not oblige him?” Evangeline’s temper flared. “I thought that was your plan—to hold Miss Webster in reserve, poor lady, in case I refused you.”
“Where did you get a daft idea like that?” Jasper demanded, though he could guess who had planted it.
“Mr. Webster.” She sounded as if she considered the man an unimpeachable source. “He told me you requested his permission to propose to his daughter the evening before you proposed to me.”
“He gave me permission,” Jasper insisted. “I did not ask for it!”
Evangeline folded her arms in front of her. “And I suppose you gave him no reason to believe you might want to marry Miss Webster?”
Jasper squirmed a little on the small settee. It was a tight fit for the two of them. Besides, his conscience was not entirely easy. He might not be guilty of what Evangeline had accused him, but he was not altogether innocent. “I might have, though I did not intend to deceive him. The night of the assembly, Mr. Webster asked me if my intentions toward his daughter were honorable or if I was only toying with her affections. I denied that, of course, not thinking what he might suppose I meant.”
“So you never thought of asking poor Miss Webster to marry you?” Evangeline looked doubtful of his explanation.
Jasper was not certain what she wanted to hear. One answer would slight his feelings for her. But the other might make him seem callous toward Margaret Webster. The truth lay somewhere in between, and cast him in a bad light with both women. “I cannot deny I did consider it after you left so suddenly. For the sake of the children and my work, I was tempted to secure a wife who would manage everything at home and leave me free to concentrate on the mill.”
“That must have been powerful temptation.” Evangeline did not sound as vexed by his admission as Jasper had expected. “Yet you did not succumb to it. You came all the way to Berkshire instead. Poor Miss Webster.”
“You keep calling her that.” Jasper shook his head. “The lady is not so much to be pitied as you imagine. Nor is she as meek and obliging as we both believed.”
Evangeline raised her dark, well-shaped brows. “What makes you say that?”
His lips twitched, remembering the scene in his parlor. “I witnessed a most enlightening exchange between Miss Webster and her father after I had words with him for sending you away. She told him she would not marry me if I asked her and he must put the idea out of his head once and for all.”
“She would not marry you?” Evangeline sounded disbelieving and rather offended on his behalf. “Why?”
He made a wry face. “Hard to imagine her turning down such a fine catch, isn’t it?”
“You are a fine catch! If I had been in her position, I would have accepted you at once.”
“Thank you for saving my pride.” A hopeful smile tugged at the corner of Jasper’s mouth, though he feared it might not be justified. “After hearing two women say they would not marry me in the course of a few hours, it took rather a beating. I could not be too injured by Miss Webster’s rejection, since I never did propose to her. It turns out she is in love with someone else—a music master from Bath, whom her father is convinced must be a fortune hunter. She only came to Amberwood to oblige Mr. Webster so he would look more favorably on her suitor. She was not pleased to discover how hard he had been trying to marry her off to me and she told him so in no uncertain terms.”
“Oh, dear!” A trill of surprised laughter burst from Evangeline. “That explains a great deal. Bravo to Miss Webster for standing up to her father.”
Jasper found himself grateful to the Websters for providing a topic of conversation to break the ice between him and Evangeline. Now he must take advantage of the thaw. “I thought that bit of news might interest you, but I did not travel all this way only to share it.”
The laughter faded from Evangeline’s face. “I suspected there might be something more.”
Was this his chance, he wondered, to offer Evangeline a different kind of proposal—a compromise that might be better than what either of them had originally wanted? Or had he come all this way for nothing?
Jasper Chase was a man of his word. Evangeline believed that with all her heart. If he said he had never intended to propose to Margaret Webster, it must be true.
But did that change anything between them? Her mistaken belief that he had planned to ask for the other woman’s hand might have provoked her sudden flight from Amberwood but it had no bearing on her original refusal of Jasper’s proposal.
Had he come all this way to tell her something that would make a difference between them? Or did he hope the resolution of that misunderstanding, and her longing for his children, would make her forget everything else that stood between them?
She recalled Grace’s comment about draft animals working better in tandem. It had struck a chord with her, but could a dynamic man like Jasper Chase ever be willing to share the lead? Did the fact that he had come so far in pursuit of her only prove the lengths to which he would go to get his own way? If she gave in to her feelings for him and his children, her duties as wife and mother and her contribution to his important work might keep her content for a while. But sooner or later, Evangeline was certain she would begin to chafe at her subordinate role and resent what she had been obliged to give up.
She did not want that for either of them, and especially not for the children.
“I want you to know,” said Jasper, “that I gave a great deal of thought to what you said when you... rejected my proposal.”
Evangeline could tell those words were hard for him to speak. Clearly his reference to his injured pride had not been altogether in jest.
“Even before you... left,” he continued, “I debated with myself whether I could do what you asked.”
“Settle your family in Manchester, you mean?” After their recent misunderstandings, Evangeline wanted them to be quite clear.
Jasper nodded. “I cannot deny that at first I did not believe I could do it.”
At first? Evangeline tried to keep her rising hopes in check.
“It was not only because I am pigheaded and must have everything my own way.” He seemed determined to explain. Was that to persuade her he was right... or some other reason? “To me, Manchester is a place of danger and hardship—a place of sights I would do anything to forget. I did not want that for my children. Amberwood seemed like a haven where they could grow up as far away as possible from my past.”
Part of her wanted to argue with his reasoning, but another part sympathized all too deeply. One thing Evangeline realized without any doubt was that she had asked Jasper to do one of the hardest possible tasks for him. She had made it a condition of his marriage offer, without any assurance that it would induce her to accept. Her sense of fairness reproached her.
“Oh, Jasper...” She reached out and laid a hand on his, which were clasped tightly over his knees.
“Please let me finish,” he begged her. “Once you’ve heard everything then say what you will.”
She replied with a silent nod, but she did not move her hand. Jasper gave no indication that he wanted her to.
“The more I thought about it,” he continued, “the more I realized I was letting myself be ruled by fear—just as I accused you of doing.”
“You were right about me!” Hard as she tried, Evangeline could not hold the words back. “I have been afraid of what would happen if I let myself love anyone too much. Afraid that if I did, I would lose myself!”
He did not chide her for her outburst but nodded as if he understood the depth of her fears as well as she did his. “That is when I decided I must overcome my fear. Not only to prove how much you mean to me, but for my own sake and my family’s.”
Until that moment, Evangeline’s attention had been so focused on Jasper, she had not been aware of anything else. But suddenly she caught the sound of children’s voices drifting in from the Nethercross garden.
It was not only Grace’s three stepdaughters. It could be no less than half a dozen youngsters. The cadences of their voices were some of the most familiar and beloved to their devoted governess.
“Alfie?” Evangeline leaped up and dashed to the window that overlooked the garden. “Rosie? Are they all here?”
Indeed they were, for she could now see them as well as hear them, running about with the Kendrick girls. Only when she glimpsed them again did it hit home how dreadfully she had missed them in a few short days.
She turned toward Jasper, who had risen and followed her to the window. “You dragged them all the way here? The poor dears! How tired they must be! And what have you been feeding them—inn fare?”
Jasper gave an infuriating chuckle at her outburst, perhaps because he recognized the protective love behind it—love for his children, which was one of their strongest common bonds. “Look at them. Do they seem any the worse for our journey? I had to bring them. When I told them where I was going they would not give me a moment’s peace until I promised they could come. Besides, I hoped it would convince you of my sincere willingness to do what you asked.”
She felt a light touch on the small of her back as they stood there at the library window staring out at the garden full of children. Jasper was a strong, forceful man, but he had a gentle side too, just as she did. Perhaps...
“We stopped one night in Manchester on the way here,” he went on. “While we were there, I did what you suggested. I showed them the mill and the workers’ flats. I told them more about my hopes and plans for the place. You were right. They want to be involved. They want to help now and when they grow up.”
Evangeline nodded, brooding over her darlings as she watched them play. “They will be an invaluable asset to you with all their different talents. They may turn out to be your most valuable legacy to the people of Manchester and beyond.”
“Indeed.” Paternal pride and love warmed Jasper’s voice. “But that is only part of what happened.”
“There is more?” Evangeline’s gaze turned from the children to rest upon their father.
Jasper stared back with undisguised love and a mysterious glow of wonder. “After I had shown the children around, they informed me that my workers’ children need a school. Not only a Sabbath school for some of the boys, but a place for girls to learn as well. I realized that education is the missing piece of my plan.”
“Of course,” Evangeline murmured, her imagination fired by the possibilities. “With an education, those children will truly have new hope, just as you did.”
“There is only one difficulty,” said Jasper.
To her questioning look, he replied, “I have no experience in education. I would need someone to organize a school for me.”
Now it was his look that asked the question.
“Me?” The prospect of assisting him in such vital work enticed her. “But what about my school? Am I supposed to simply forget about it?”
“No, indeed!” Jasper reached for her hands and clasped them in his. “Such a place is badly needed and there is no one better qualified than you to bring it about. But could we not combine your school and mine? I have a vacant building we could fix up nicely for the purpose. It is on the outskirts of town where the air is healthier.”
Combine the work that was so important to each of them and help one another achieve their dreams? It sounded too good to be true.
Jasper seemed to mistake her speechless amazement for resistance. “I know I once told you I wanted a wife who would always see eye-to-eye with me and never argue. But you have shown me that intelligent opposition can yield a compromise that is better than either original idea. I believe this is such a compromise. Are you willing to give a little to gain so much for us both and for those we care about?”
Evangeline found her voice again. “It is a truly inspired idea. I am willing to recommend it to my friends. I believe they will be in favor of it since a building would be one of our greatest expenses. But is that all you are asking—for me to establish this combined school?”
“I must admit there is more to it.” Jasper’s eyes sparkled with eagerness even as the set of his full, dark brows conveyed apprehension of laying his heart open to rejection once again. “The truth is, I love you, Evangeline. Not as a convenient mother for my children, but as the delightful, determined woman who is more than a match for me in so many ways!”
His words made her throat tighten, but the final barrier around her heart began to crumble.
Before she could answer, he continued. “I know you are afraid that you will lose yourself if you become part of a family again. But I do not believe that will happen any more than it did when you brought together your circle of friends. Look how well that turned out. I hope if I can prove myself capable of being the kind of husband you need and deserve, you will change your mind about marrying me.”
Evangeline glanced out at the garden, where Grace was supervising their children at play. Their children. Suddenly her heart acknowledged its long-denied secret wish for Emma, Matthew, Alfie, Owen and Rosie to belong to her.
Overwhelmed with happiness and gratitude for this second chance, Evangeline raised Jasper’s hands and pressed her lips to them. “I am no longer so afraid of what I might lose by giving you my heart. It belongs to you now along with all the love it can hold. Whenever you choose to propose to me again, I shall be honored and delight to accept.”
His dark, rugged features glowed with joy as bright and tender as that which overflowed from her heart.
Jasper released her hands only so he could open his arms and gather her close. She raised her face to his and kissed a man she loved with her whole heart, keeping nothing back.
A brief lifetime later, when Jasper held her, his cheek pressed against her hair, he murmured, “Is it too soon to propose yet?”
Evangeline burrowed deeper into his embrace. “Not a moment too soon.”