Chapter Twelve
JASPER CHASE HAD offered her his arm and told her she was magnificent for standing up to Miss Anstruther. The memory made Evangeline break into a furtive smile every time she recalled it that evening. Through the night, she relived that moment in her dreams.
Reason warned her that such a trivial incident should not mean so much to her. She tried to banish it from her thoughts with the familiar litany that Jasper did not want a wife like her and she did not want a husband of any kind.
But those convictions seemed to have lost their protective power. In their place came new ideas that intrigued and unsettled her. For instance, how pleasant it had felt to have someone she could rely on to come to her aid. Though Jasper claimed to want a compliant wife, she was not certain he truly did. There had been nothing compliant about the way she’d confronted Miss Anstruther. Yet he had not rebuked her for it. If anything, he seemed to respect her more.
If she had required any further proof that he did not hold her actions against her, Jasper appeared in the nursery as usual the next morning, looking altogether too handsome.
“Drink your coffee quickly.” He poured himself a cup and took a deep draft. “I have asked Jane to keep an eye on the children while we take a walk.”
Evangeline strove to moderate her reaction to his words, but she could not keep her heart from bounding. “Do we have a sensitive subject to discuss?”
Jasper nodded. “About Norton and Mrs. Dawson. I thought you would want to know.”
“Indeed I do.” Evangeline was delighted with the match between Verity and Mr. Brookes, who reminded her of her soft-spoken, scholarly father. “I hope they can find a way to live in some comfort without having to marry off his sister, when she would prefer to earn her own living.”
Jasper’s head snapped up. “She would? How do you know that?”
“She told me so.” Evangeline drained her cup and rose to her feet. “Miss Brookes would like to work as a governess, but her brother will not hear of it. Something to do with their mother.”
Jane appeared just then. Though she tried to look as if it was a common occurrence for her employer and the governess to take early-morning strolls together, Evangeline wondered if the nursery maid had commented about it below stairs.
“I will fetch my bonnet.” Evangeline hurried off before Jane noticed the color in her cheeks and guessed more about her feelings than she could bear.
She returned as soon as she had tied on her bonnet... and her blush had faded. She knew it was not right for her to feel so elated about going off with Jasper on her own. She was trying to make a match between him and another woman after all. Indeed, she had no business thinking of him by his Christian name. She was not certain when it had begun, only that she could not seem to stop herself now.
The countryside was swathed in mist when they emerged from the house, but the sky had a pearly glow that promised the haze would soon burn off.
Evangeline was grateful for the veil of mist that wrapped around her and Jasper, hiding them from curious eyes. It created an appealing illusion that they were in their own private world without obligations, plans or expectations.
“Did Miss Anstruther’s departure make the atmosphere at dinner very awkward last night?” She hoped not. In spite of Jasper’s insistence to the contrary, she felt responsible for provoking the unpleasant breach of his house party.
“My mother-in-law was rather dismayed.” He did not sound troubled by Mrs. Thorpe’s reaction. “But the rest of the party seemed happier for her absence. Norton and Mrs. Dawson announced their engagement, which put everyone in good spirits.”
“Even his sister?”
“Especially his sister. She likes Mrs. Dawson and after what you have told me, she may assume her brother will be forced to let her earn her own living now. I wonder...” Jasper’s voice trailed off.
“You wonder...?” Evangeline prompted him.
“Whether Abigail might consider filling your position at Amberwood,” he continued in a bemused tone. “The children like her and Norton might be less resistant to her becoming a governess if it would help us out.”
That did sound like a reasonable solution for everyone. Yet more than ever it troubled Evangeline to think of someone else taking her place at Amberwood—even someone as agreeable as Abigail Brookes. Could she command the respect a governess needed, after having been more of a playmate to the children?
Another idea occurred to her. “Perhaps Miss Brookes could come and teach at my school. Her brother might mind that less than having her become a private governess. It would benefit our pupils to have a teacher with her high spirits. My friends had wanted Leah Shaw to help me run the school, for precisely that reason. But then Leah married the duke.”
“Leah?” Jasper repeated the name in a puzzled tone. “Wasn’t she also one of your friends at the charity school who became a governess?”
“We all did,” she replied. “Teaching is one of the few respectable means for a woman to earn her own living, however modest.”
Her answer did nothing to dispel Jasper’s puzzled look. “A charity pupil turned governess married to a duke?”
Evangeline nodded. “You may be amazed that Leah wed so well, but I am more surprised that she wed at all. I thought she valued her independence too much to be tied down that way. But she sounds happy in her letters. So do the others, though that surprises me less. Rebecca, Grace and Hannah were all well suited to marriage. I never expected they would make such advantageous matches, but I am delighted for them.”
She pressed her lips closed to prevent a further rush of words. She had not meant to go on at such length.
But Jasper did not appear to mind. Indeed, he seemed to be listening most intently. When she paused, he did not seize the opportunity to turn the conversation back to Verity and Mr. Brookes. Instead, he asked, “Do you ever envy your friends the happiness they have found?”
“Never,” she insisted. “My friends deserve all the security, comfort and happiness it is possible for women to be blessed with.”
“Perhaps envy is the wrong word.” Jasper’s steps slowed as he searched for the right one. “What I meant to say was, do you never wish you could experience that sort of happiness for yourself? A home of your own, the love of a husband and children?”
Did she dare answer his question honestly? Evangeline feared not. More and more of late, she had begun to yearn for precisely those things—the love of a husband, especially. But not just any husband. Were such feelings a test to prove she was worthy to do take up her intended vocation?
How could she think of letting down her friends who were depending on her and the orphan girls who needed her? Not to mention her late mother, who’d been so certain she was destined for some important task in life?
“I told you, my friends were well suited to marriage.” She chose her words with care so she could speak the truth without betraying her feelings. “I am not and never have been envious of their marriages. I was meant for a different role.”
“But not meant to be happy?” he asked in a tone of wistful pity that rasped against her pride. “I cannot believe that is how your life is meant to be.”
“Who says I will not be happy?” Evangeline bristled, though she feared it might be true. Now that her feelings for Jasper Chase had been roused, could she ever be truly happy if she were parted from him and the children? But his probing questions compelled her to deny it. “I expect to be very happy doing such valuable work and making a difference in the lives of so many children. I expect to be happy fulfilling the purpose for which I have been preparing all this time.”
She cast a fleeting glance at Jasper as he walked by her side, not certain she was persuading either of them.
She made one final effort. “Do you think it would make me happier to give up all my hopes and plans to subject myself to the will of a husband? We would be at odds all the time. You told me yourself that can only lead to unhappiness.”
As they walked, the hem of her skirts grew increasingly damp from the wet grass, until she fancied it weighing her down.
She expected Jasper to contradict her. That would prove she was right that they would be in constant conflict. Yet some traitorous part of her wanted him to persuade her that marriage could bring her happiness rather than regret.
But Jasper did not reply. Perhaps he realized she was right.
“Why are we wasting time talking about me?” she demanded. “You wanted to tell me something about Verity and Mr. Brookes. Was it only that they announced their engagement?”
Jasper came to a halt and stared at her until she met his eye. “Talking about you is never a waste of time.”
As they stood there in the mist, Evangeline felt the weight of unspoken words settling over them. She clamped her lips shut to keep from breaking their silence.
Just when she feared she would betray herself, Jasper turned and began walking back the way they had come. “There was something more I wanted to tell you about our friends. I invited Norton to help me with my work at New Hope Mills. He can preach to my workers and assist me in tending to their welfare. Perhaps he could take a few of the brighter boys to teach, the way Parson Ward did.”
“Only the boys?” Evangeline muttered.
Jasper might not have heard her, or perhaps he did not want to start another argument between them. “I cannot pay Norton a large salary, but more than the living from his current parish. He seems eager to be involved.”
Her happiness for Verity and Mr. Brookes soothed Evangeline’s wrought-up emotions. “I am certain the vicar will be a great help to you.”
“I expect so,” Jasper replied. “What I did not expect was the renewed enthusiasm I feel for my work at the mill, knowing I will have his support. I only wish I had thought to ask him sooner.”
Though she knew such a collaboration would benefit Mr. Brookes, Jasper and especially his employees at New Hope Mills, the thought of it gave Evangeline a wistful pang. She wished it had been possible for her and Leah Shaw to run the new charity school together, the way their friends had hoped. No doubt the two of them would have disagreed on occasion, in a way Jasper clearly abhorred. But they would have supported one another all the same, as they had during their younger years. Even their disputes might have resulted in valuable compromise, to the benefit of their pupils.
“Why did you bring me out here to tell me that?” Evangeline nodded toward the house, the shape of which grew clearer with each step they took. “It is not a subject that should trouble the children if they happened to overhear. They like Mr. Brookes and Verity and their engagement is a happy event.”
Jasper pondered his reply a good deal longer than he should have needed to. “I did not want them to hear me talking about the mill and start pestering me to take them to Manchester.”
His explanation was perfectly reasonable, yet Evangeline sensed it might not be altogether true.
Of course, he had not wanted his children getting any more troublesome ideas about moving down to Manchester. So Jasper insisted to himself as he and Evangeline returned to the house. But that was not the chief reason he had invited her for an early-morning stroll. Now that he had become aware of the true nature of his feelings for the lady, he wanted to spend time alone with her, without fear of being overheard or interrupted.
He had secretly hoped that telling her of his friend’s engagement might provide an opportunity to speak of his feelings and inquire about hers. But when the subject of marriage came up, Evangeline’s emphatic declaration was not at all what he’d hoped for. She’d insisted she would never marry, least of all an overbearing man like him.
She had not referred to him by name, of course. But when she spoke of having to subject herself to the will of a husband, he knew who she meant. Had she sensed his altered feelings toward her and tried to discourage him? If so, she did not know his character as well as she often seemed to. He had not risen to be master of his own mill by being easily discouraged from going after what he wanted.
And he wanted Evangeline Fairfax to be his wife—he grew more certain of the fact with every passing hour.
Watching her with his children as they ate breakfast together, he could see the special way she interacted with each of them. He sensed how much they meant to her and how hard it would be for her to leave them. So why should she have to?
Her friends had all found happiness with families of their own. Why did they not encourage Evangeline to do likewise, after all she had done for them? No matter how valuable each of their contributions to the group might have been, Evangeline was the one who had brought them together and made them a group. Had they appreciated her leadership, as she deserved, or had they secretly resented it? Might that be why they wanted her to operate the school endowed by their husbands—so she would be obliged to take orders from them?
Rosie roused her father from his brooding by scrambling onto his lap and flinging her arms around his neck.
Much as her actions surprised Jasper, her words did even more. “Have we done something wrong, Papa? If we did, we’re very sorry.”
He wrapped his daughter in a reassuring embrace. “You’ve done nothing wrong at all. What put such a notion in your head?”
He cast a swift glance around the table at Rosie’s brothers and sister to find them all staring at him with anxious expressions.
“You did look angry about something just now, Papa,” Owen informed him in a solemn tone.
“Did I?” Jasper knew it must be true. When he recalled his thoughts about Evangeline’s friends, his features began to tense. He struggled to raise a smile instead. “If I did, you may be certain none of you was responsible.”
He sensed the children would only believe him if he offered another explanation. “I was thinking about something unfair—a person who deserves much more from life than they are getting, a person whose friends may have imposed on them. It made me quite indignant on their behalf. I am sorry if I troubled you.”
Jasper did not dare glance at Evangeline in case she guessed he was referring to her.
Emma had other ideas. “You mean, Mrs. Dawson, don’t you, Papa? Miss Anstruther was supposed to be her friend but she did not treat her very well.”
The other children nodded. Jasper had not realized they were aware of such subtleties in the behavior of his guests. Then again, Penelope Anstruther had not been particularly subtle.
Before he could decide how to answer, Matthew piped up. “You sent her away, didn’t you, Papa, because she was so disagreeable to Mrs. Dawson?”
Jasper answered in a gentle but decisive tone. “I did not send Miss Anstruther away. The decision to leave was hers, though I cannot claim I am sorry to see her go. People who put upon others do not endear themselves to anyone. We would all do well to bear that in mind.”
The children digested his advice with looks as solemn as Owen’s. It made Jasper determined to raise their spirits. “I have some good news to share. Mr. Brookes and Mrs. Dawson have gotten engaged. That means they will be getting married quite soon.”
He avoided any mention of the happy couple taking up residence in Manchester after the wedding. “I thought we could make the concert Miss Webster is organizing a celebration of their happy news.”
His mention of the concert seemed to cheer his children more than news of Norton’s engagement. Perhaps they did not understand how happy an event marriage could be. Certainly their governess would not have praised the benefits of matrimony.
How could he make her see that marriage and family life could be every bit as rewarding as running a charity school? Perhaps he should employ the lessons she had taught him. He must court her without appearing to court her. If she suspected his intentions before he succeeded in winning her heart, Jasper feared she would shut him out and he would never get another opportunity.
That evening, after he had heard his children’s prayers and kissed them good-night, he turned toward Evangeline. “No doubt you are aware there is a small assembly hall in the village where they have dancing on Mondays and Thursdays.”
“So I have been informed, sir.” She replied without hesitation, though she seemed surprised by his remark. “Why do you ask?”
Jasper found he no longer liked her calling him sir. It emphasized the difference in their positions when he preferred to concentrate on the many things they had in common. “I plan to attend the assembly tomorrow evening with my guests and I would like you to accompany us.”
“Me?” Her nose wrinkled in a way Jasper found rather endearing. “But why? It is not as though your party is short of ladies. Quite the contrary. Besides, there are some who might object to the inclusion of a mere governess at such an event.”
In spite of her objections, Jasper glimpsed a golden sparkle in her brown eyes that made him suspect she secretly wanted to go. “I believe the only person who might have opposed the idea is no longer with us.”
Evangeline strove to stifle a grin but did not quite succeed.
“Besides,” he continued, sensing her receptiveness and wanting to take advantage of it, “apart from my mother-in-law and me, all the members of our party are strangers here. Your assistance in making introductions would be invaluable.”
“I suppose...”
“There is another reason I would like you to come,” he said. “You have borne a tremendous responsibility in my household during the past six years. I have no doubt you will bear even more as headmistress of your charity school. You deserve to enjoy yourself for one evening, surely?”
Did Evangeline realize that she deserved this and so much more? Or had her years in that miserable school made her believe otherwise?
“Please!” he concluded before she could raise any further objections. “Say you will come.”
Her stalwart gaze faltered before his. Did she glimpse something in his eyes that she did not want to see?
“Very well,” she replied. “If you wish me to accompany you.”
“I do,” said Jasper. “Very much.”
At that moment, he wished for something else, too—a kiss from her full, generous lips. But he knew it was far too soon and this was not the right place. He would not risk spoiling his chances by acting prematurely. His years in business had taught him how to bide his time until the right opportunity presented itself then act decisively when it did. He must apply those hard-learned lessons to his pursuit of Evangeline.
“Until then.” He made a courtly bow and withdrew before his romantic inclinations overcame his prudence.
Jasper headed down to join his guests in the dining room with a jaunty step and a mysterious smile upon his lips. Winning a wonderful but reluctant woman like Evangeline Fairfax would be a challenge, without a doubt.
But he had always relished a challenge.
Evangeline could scarcely recall the last time she had danced at an assembly. Certainly it was well before she’d come to Amberwood. Though she enjoyed dancing, she had resigned herself to avoiding such entertainments. She had not wanted another gentleman like Mr. Preston to get the mistaken idea that she wished to be courted.
But, as Jasper had reminded her, she would soon be safely ensconced at her school with no further need to be concerned about such matters. What would it hurt to enjoy this one evening before she took up her new responsibilities?
Her sense of caution warned that it might not be wise to mix socially with a man who appealed to her as much as Jasper Chase did. Particularly since the children would not be there to occupy her attention and act as a buffer between them.
She dismissed those qualms with a confident toss of her head. Their discussion about marriage had reinforced her priorities and made her view her situation in a clear, rational light. While it was true she felt more for Jasper Chase than she had ever expected or wanted to feel for any man, she knew there could be no possibility of a future together.
Even if she had been willing to give up the important task for which life had prepared her, she could never be the kind of wife he wanted. He had found such a woman in Margaret Webster. Evangeline now recognized that her earlier reservations about the lady’s suitability had sprung from unworthy jealousy, which she had no right to entertain. Having rededicated herself to founding a new charity school, she must renew her efforts to foster a match between Jasper and Miss Webster. An evening event, with no children to supervise, might provide the perfect opportunity to further her matchmaking efforts.
Having made up her mind about that, Evangeline seized a chance that presented itself when the children were in the great parlor, practicing for the concert.
“Is there some difficulty, Miss Webster?” she asked when she noticed the lady frowning over a neatly written list of the performers.
Margaret Webster sighed. “Say what you will about Miss Anstruther, she did have a fine voice. Her absence has left a few holes in our program.”
“Surely you can sing in her place,” Evangeline suggested. “Or, better yet, you and Mr. Chase could perform a duet. I happen to know he sings very well. I have heard him often in church.”
It dismayed her to recall that she would soon lose the opportunity to stand near him in the family pew and drink in the rich resonance of his baritone voice. But she resolutely put that thought out of her mind.
“Will you, Mr. Chase?” Margaret Webster called over to Jasper, who was helping Alfie memorize his recitation.
“I suppose I could,” he replied, “provided the song is not too difficult.”
“I will play for you,” Evangeline offered as another idea occurred to her. “I agree with Mr. Chase that the song must be one all three of us know.”
She paused, pretending to consider the possibilities. “I have it! You must both be familiar with “Ellen the Fair.” It is an ideal choice for celebrating an engagement.”
Unlike most popular love ballads, it was not too long and it had a happy ending. If anything could stir tender feelings between Jasper and Miss Webster, surely it was singing a love song together.
At first neither of them seemed as receptive to the idea as she’d hoped, but Evangeline managed to persuade them. “Here is the music. Why don’t we have a quick practice now?”
Before they could object, she sat down at the pianoforte and began to play.
Though she congratulated herself on her well-executed plan, Evangeline was not prepared for the spasm that wrung her heart when she heard Jasper sing to another woman, “ʽAnd while I stood gazing, my heart, I declare, a captive was taken by Ellen the Fair.ʼ”
Her fingers fumbled over the keys, making a sour discord with Jasper’s melodious voice. Rosie put her hands over her ears.
Alfie wagged his finger at his governess in an impudent imitation of the way she sometimes chided him. “You must concentrate on what you are doing, Miss Fairfax, and not let your mind wander.”
Evangeline made a face at Alfie, but she took his advice and kept her thoughts firmly focused on the keys for the rest of the song.
When the piece concluded, a burst of hearty applause rang out and Mr. Webster cried, “Well done, indeed! I have always been partial to that old song. Your voices blend so well, I have no doubt it will be the high point of the concert!”
“It was Miss Fairfax’s choice, Papa.” Margaret Webster made it sound as if Evangeline deserved all the credit for their performance.
“She is a clever lady,” the mill owner replied, “even if her playing is not quite up to your standard, my dear.”
Though Evangeline could not deny Mr. Webster’s comment, it still stung more than she cared to admit.
His words scarcely had a chance to sink in before Jasper spoke. “That is hardly a fair comparison, sir. Miss Fairfax had no opportunity to rehearse the piece before she played it just now. With five children to educate, I cannot think when she ever finds time to practice.”
It warmed Evangeline to hear him rise so quickly to her defense. Yet she feared Miss Webster might take offense that her suitor had challenged a compliment to her.
The lady proved more generous-spirited than Evangeline had expected... or deserved. “Mr. Chase is right, Papa. I have all the time in the world to devote to my music. Miss Fairfax has hardly any, yet she still manages to play and sing beautifully.”
Her kind words made Evangeline ashamed of the selfish doubts she had harbored about Miss Webster’s suitability to wed Jasper Chase. Clearly, the lady would make him a better wife than someone like her ever could. Yet that did not ease the ache in her heart when she looked to the future and pictured Margaret Webster at the heart of his home, while she took up her fulfilling but lonely post as the headmistress of her school.