Chapter 6

 

Charlie had meant to be home sooner, but the guys wanted to hear about the mysterious woman in his life. He hadn’t told them much except that he met her at the hospital and was trying to help her get back on her feet. None of them knew she was staying with him. Only one person needed to know about that, and he trusted Mandie not to say anything. He did not necessarily trust his friends to keep their mouths shut.

When he reached the penthouse, he opened the door and walked in. All the lights were off except in the kitchen. Something vibrated on the counter, and he spotted Kiley’s cell phone there. “Kiley?” He peered into the shadows and reached for the switch to turn the lights on.

A warm breeze ruffled his hair, and he looked around, confused, until he saw the doors open to the balcony and his heart plummeted. Kiley sat out there—not in a chair but on the railing, her legs dangling over the side as if they weren’t far enough up to kill her if she fell. He set his things down quietly on the counter and walked towards the door. His hands sweaty and heart threatening to fly out of his mouth, he cleared his throat, praying he didn’t scare her.

“Charlie,” she said without turning around.

“What are you doing out here?” he asked, his tone light as his mind raced.

“Watching the sunset.”

“The sun’s been down for a while now,” he said, moving closer. “Why don’t you come back inside? We can have a drink and talk for a bit?” Another step put him within a yard of her. Another would guarantee he could grab her if she decided to topple forward and off the railing. A horrible image of her dead and broken on the sidewalk tore at him, but he swallowed his fear and inched closer.

“I know, but the darkness is comforting.”

“For a while, but it doesn’t last long, that feeling. Come back inside, Kiley.”

“Why?” she said on a breath, her shoulders hunched. He braced, ready to grab her, but she didn’t move again. “It’s peaceful, and that’s all I want—a little peace, a little security.”

“You can have that, but you have to come back inside.” He took another step and saw the sad smile curling her lips, but it was that same resolve from earlier in her eyes that made his gut roil. “Kiley, please, take my hand.”

She tilted her head back, staring up at the sky. “The stars are beautiful when you can see them. I want to see so many stars. I want to be away from here, from everything.” She closed her eyes. “I never deserved your kindness, Charlie. Not after what I’ve done.”

“Yes, you do. Everyone deserves help,” he argued. “Kiley.”

“No, no, I can’t do it anymore. I’m so tired.” She sighed as a tear slipped down her cheek, glistening in the moonlight. “I’m so tired of trying to fight and find my way out of this shithole. I failed…I failed…”

Her body relaxed, and Charlie lunged forward with a yell before she decided to go over. He wrapped his arms around her body and yanked her back. They tumbled to the balcony, and she fought against him, thrashing as he dragged her back inside. He managed to slide the door closed while keeping one arm in a vice-like grip around her middle, locking it so she couldn’t dart out again so easily.

“Stop,” he yelled over her cursing. “I am not going to let you jump off my balcony.”

“Just let me go. You don’t even know me. You don’t understand.”

She tried to wrench her body away from him, and he finally gave up and pinned her to the floor, using his size and weight to hold her beneath him. They panted as she glared at him, and he studied her face, searching for a reason she would want to end her life. The longer he held her down, the more he saw her face crumble beneath his intense stare. The strength she’d built up to do the deed slipped away. She stopped fighting him and sucked in a hollow breath. She was in so much pain, it poured off her and overwhelmed Charlie.

Tears shimmered in her eyes and slipped past her temples, wetting her hair. “You can’t save someone who doesn’t want to be saved. You don’t…you don’t get it. I deserve this… I deserve everything that’s happened to me!”

“No, no, you don’t,” he insisted, but she shook her head hard. “Kiley, look at me, damn it!”

She turned her head so he couldn’t see her eyes. “Let me go, please. It’ll be easier, so much easier.”

“The easy path is hardly ever the right one,” he told her firmly. “Whatever happened to you, we can talk about it, work through it. I can help you if you would give me a chance.”

“No one can help me,” she breathed.

Charlie had seen many people in pain and filled with despair at the idea of dying or losing a loved one, but something always managed to bring back their fight to live. He looked in vain for some glimmer of that in Kiley’s face…and saw it the moment she turned her head back to stare at him. Some part of her wasn’t ready to give up, but it had been shoved so deep beneath the surface, she’d lost sight of it herself.

“You are not killing yourself, you hear me?” he ordered and pulled her to a sitting position. “You aren’t allowed to, not while I’m around.” He lifted her chin, frowning. “What happened to you? Tell me, please, so I can understand.”

“I can’t.”

“Yes, you can. It can’t be so bad you want to jump off a balcony.”

“Says you,” she argued, wiping the tears from her face and yanking her head away from him.

“Says everyone. Tell me.”

“No,” she muttered, growing angry, but anger was good. Charlie would take her anger over this bottomless despair that drove her to the ledge in the first place.

“Tell me.” He scowled at her, needing to push her so she would finally let her anger go. Let the pain go and admit the truth. “Or are you that scared I’ll throw you out on the street?”

Her jaw clenched and her hands balled into fists.

“Are you scared to admit some asshole beat you? That you were abused for years? That he used you, hurt you? Broke you down so you’re nothing but a shell of a person? Is that what you want me to see? What you want someone’s last memory of you to be before you off yourself?”

He hadn’t meant to yell, but this woman and her walls drove him crazy. All she had to do was talk to him, but she couldn’t even do that. He wasn’t sure what he expected to happen, but her hand came out of nowhere as she clocked him in the jaw. He fell back, holding his face in shock. He saw the second hit coming and for some reason, let it land, hitting him in the shoulder. He accepted every hit she threw at him, kneeling before him on the floor in his living room. She cursed and cried as he took the brunt of her pain and her rage, every raw emotion laid bare for him to see.

Since he’d met her, she hadn’t breathed a word of what happened or let him see past the walls she’d built. For the past week, he feared he’d lost whatever slim chance he had at helping her, but as her hits slowed and sobs wracked her body, she broke down those barriers and collapsed in his arms. Charlie held her, ignoring the pain in his chest and shoulders and the throbbing in his jaw. He soothed her with quiet murmurings as her tears soaked his shirt and his jeans, not that he cared.

He wasn’t sure if he should try to move her or not, but words slipped from her lips and he stilled so he could listen.

“Two years,” she started quietly. “For two years, I was trapped with that bastard. He was good at first, a nice man with a sense of humor. Adventure. I liked that about him…but it was all a lie. Everything about him was a lie.”

He held his breath, waiting for her to go on.

“I…uh, at first, I thought I was paranoid, but I found out Ned was a drug dealer and ran with a gang of thugs in the city,” she explained. “He didn’t take his anger out on me until a few months after I found out. I asked him one night if he would stop it to be with me and he…he smacked me. When I tried to run away, he… it got bad.” She swallowed hard. “I was too scared of what he might to do my friends to tell them. So I lied. For two years, I lied to everyone I knew.”

“Your family didn’t realize something was wrong?”

“I’m an orphan. I never had a family.” The bitter laugh that escaped her lips said she never expected to, either, not after being with Ned. “I managed to stay on Ned’s good side for a while…but things got worse. He started taking me with him on his runs to the warehouses. I watched as he took care of business.” She shuddered at whatever memory came to mind, and Charlie’s arms encircled her to keep her safe on instinct. She sniffed hard as more tears escaped her eyes, and she lifted her face to look him in the eye. “I stood by and watched as he tortured people, as he… as he beat them… killed a few… I watched and did nothing. I let them die!”

He shushed her as she cried, rocking her in his lap. “No, you didn’t hurt them,” he argued as he finally understood the full extent of the horrors this woman had endured the past couple of years. “You didn’t raise your hand to them.”

“I couldn’t stop him. I tried, I did once, but he threatened to put me in the chair next. I’m a coward. I was always a coward,” she cried. “Even when I was little, I couldn’t protect the other kids.”

“Kiley, look at me,” he urged and lifted her face. “You are not a bad person. You did what you had to do to survive.” She sucked in her bottom lip, and he knew she would try and argue with him, but he didn’t let her get a word out. “No, now you listen to me. If you had stood up for any of those people, what would have happened? Tell me and be honest.” She swallowed a few times but said nothing. Charlie hesitated, but it was the truth and the truth needed to be said. “He would have tortured you more than he already had, killed you even. He might have gone after your friends, people you knew. You did what you had to do. Don’t let him drop the weight of his choices on your shoulders.”

She went limp in his arms and he held her close.

“There’s one thing you learn, becoming a doctor,” he whispered. “You can’t save everyone.”

“I could have tried,” she said weakly.

“Just because you didn’t doesn’t mean you deserve to die.” He waited for her to argue again, but Kiley said nothing. He picked her up in his arms and carried her to the guest bedroom. He laid her down and pulled the covers up around her as she finally settled down. Her eyes were swollen and red, but she looked more relaxed than when he’d first met her. “Rest now. I’ll be outside if you need me for anything—and I mean anything.”

“You don’t hate me?”

“Why would I hate you?” he asked, confused.

“Aside from hitting you? I’m dragging you into a mess. I can’t do this to you. I’ll leave first thing in the morning.”

“Do you have somewhere safe to go?” he asked, crossing his arms. “Don’t try to lie either.”

She fumbled with the sheets and whispered, “No, but—”

“No, you’re staying here until you can figure out somewhere else to live. Away from the city so this Ned bastard can’t find you.” He moved towards the door, but she called him back.

“Thanks, for a…for not letting me…you know…though I wasn’t going to. I don’t think.”

Scowling, he said, “No one should ever feel like they have to kill themselves. Please, for the love of God, talk to me next time. I never want to come home and see you on that ledge again. Ever.”

“You make it sound as if this will be a long-term situation, me being here.”

Damn, she was right. Charlie had grown used to having her in the penthouse. Despite the fact that he hardly saw her, her presence was enough to remind him he wasn’t alone. He never thought he was lonely, not with his job preoccupying his time, but with Kiley suddenly in his life, the nagging voice in his mind saying he would wind up alone was quiet.

“Would that be such a terrible situation?” he asked.

And for the first time since meeting her, a smile curled her lips. Though brief, it transformed her face, giving him a glimpse of the happy, carefree woman she must have been before she fell in with the wrong crowd.

“No. No, I guess it wouldn’t.”

He backed out of the room and closed the door quietly behind him. As he paced through his penthouse, he heard something vibrating from the kitchen and remembered her phone was in there still. He picked it up and tapped the screen to see texts from the man himself. Grinding his teeth, Charlie opened them and read through the string of messages going back days, weeks, and months. After a while, he grew too sick to continue and had to set the phone down before he chucked it over the balcony to watch it shatter on the concrete or sink into the water. Taking a deep breath to calm his anger, he checked her phone again, searching through it for any hint of who her friends were that she refused to talk to. She might not want to involve them, but she needed their support now more than ever. He was a stranger. He could only do so much for her, but if her friends were there and if she could see how much they cared for her, she would certainly think twice before trying to kill herself again.

His legs turned to jelly and he thought he would be sick as the night’s events caught up with him. It was like a sucker punch to the gut, and he scrambled to find a glass and the bottle of whiskey from the pantry. Losing a patient was one thing, but this was the first time he had to save someone from literally jumping off a ledge. He shot the whiskey and refilled his glass two times before his nerves calmed and he stopped feeling like he might collapse to the floor between his newfound rage and embracing the pain from Kiley.

He picked her cell up again, and checking to be sure she hadn’t left her room, he scrolled through messages from the other people who contacted her the most. She had four good friends, it seemed, all wanting to see her over the last two years, but Kiley had had an excuse every time. As he searched her phone, he stumbled across other messages from San Antonio social work offices, asking her where she’d been and having to let her go because of so many absences. It was ironic how she spent her life helping others who were in the same situation as she was but no one realized how much help she needed herself. When he passed her room on the way to his bedroom, he pressed his ear to the door but heard nothing on the other side. He was at his door when he turned around and went to sleep on the couch, just in case.

***

Charlie bolted up on the couch, where he’d been sleeping for the past three nights, staring around in the darkness. He ran a hand over his face, wondering what woke him, when a scream sounded. “Kiley,” he gasped and shot off the couch, sprinting into her room.

Much like the previous nights, she fought against the sheets, attacking invisible foes as she yelled. Charlie avoided being hit in the face and grabbed her shoulders, shaking them hard enough to wake her.

“Kiley. You’re safe, you’re with me,” he said firmly and loudly. “Kiley. Open your eyes. It’s a nightmare, nothing more. He’s not here. None of them are here. It’s just you and me.”

Her eyes opened and she stared blankly at him for a moment before she clung to him. He sat down on the edge of the bed, holding her as she trembled in his arms. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you again,” she mumbled into his shoulder.

“The dreams will stop over time. It might be best, though, if you could find a way to talk to someone.”

“I talked to you.”

“Someone better trained as a psychologist than me,” he advised.

“No, I don’t think I can do that yet.”

Charlie heard the uncertainty in her voice and didn’t push further. When she stopped shaking so badly, he stood to go, but she caught his hand. “Kiley?”

He saw the question in her eyes as she stared at their hands, and the urge to stay with this woman and comfort her as he had the other day drew him in closer. He sat on the bed and leaned in to kiss her before he could think to stop himself. His lips caressed hers as she sighed and he scooted closer, cupping her face gently, giving her every chance to pull away. Instead, her hands covered his and the kiss between them deepened. Charlie wanted her, wanted to hear her moan with desire and chase away the rest of her fears and her doubts. He wanted her to smile and laugh as he loved her.

But a sudden voice in his head said this was too much and he pulled back.

“What are you doing?” she whispered.

“I shouldn’t… we shouldn’t,” he said and tried to stand, but she grabbed his hands and pulled him back. “Kiley, please.”

“Please what? This is the second kiss we’ve shared, so I’m pretty sure you like it.”

He smiled. “Yes, I do, but…”

“But what?” she pushed when he didn’t finish.

“I don’t want you to hate me in the morning.”

She didn’t let him go, though, and the sheets rustled as she closed the distance he’d created between them. “And if I told you I needed this moment with you? If I said this was what I wanted? Would you still leave?”

Charlie was trying to be the good guy, but if this was what she needed and what she wanted, where was the harm? “What do you need, Kiley? Tell me.”

“I need to forget. I want to forget,” she emphasized. “I want you.”

Charlie’s lips found hers in a heartbeat, and she gasped in surprise before settling into the kiss. His hands slipped to her shoulders, unable to touch her fast enough. She shoved at his shirt and he helped her remove it so she could flatten her hands on his chest as he devoured her mouth. If she wanted to forget, he would do his best to ensure she remembered nothing of the man who’d ruined her life. He nuzzled her neck, sucking hard on her earlobe as his groin throbbed with envy for the panties still cupping her sex. He wanted to feel her, to hold her. Nearly seeing her take her life made his touches more frantic to ensure that saving her had not been a dream. Fear that he would wake up and realize she was gone, this mysterious woman who fell into his life, would crush him.

He tossed the blankets aside and lifted her tank top. Her hair cascaded over her body, but when her chest stood bare in front of him, he cursed and lowered his mouth to suckle her nipples, one after the other, into hardened points.

She panted as he touched her, smoothing his hands down to her waist. “I haven’t been touched like this…in so long,” she whispered longingly. “Charlie.”

He sat up, noting every bruise still fading from the attack. But she bore more than bruises from her past, and he thought she’d changed her mind. She sat up and nipped his lip, hard, and he growled in reply, crushing his mouth to hers. Their tongues danced as he lost himself in her touch. He catered to her moans and the subtle way her back arched as he returned to her breasts, kissing the soft mounds and moving lower. He tugged down her sleep shorts and panties in one quick pull, and she sucked in her bottom lip in a way that quickly began to drive him mad with want. She hadn’t been loved properly in years, but her urgent touch told him she didn’t want this to be long and drawn out.

She wanted him, hard and fast, and he would oblige her as soon as he knew she was ready. Most women who dated Charlie assumed he was a soft, sensitive lover, but he had always enjoyed a quick rush of adrenaline, or seeing how many times he could make his lovers scream his name. There was no flirting, no slow caresses, not with Kiley. Not tonight.

He buried his face in her sex, and she cried out, slamming her palms on the headboard behind her as her back arched. Those emerald eyes locked onto his as he licked and sucked, stroking her with his tongue. A moment of uncertainty crossed her face until he sucked her clit and it was gone in a shot, replaced by a burning lust that matched his own. Charlie enjoyed sex, but having Kiley melt into a puddle in his hands was different. It felt primal, predatory, and he wanted so much more of it. So much more of her. His tongue dragged along her cleft, and she shivered violently, squirming to be closer and get away at the same time.

He didn’t let up, holding her hips, and thrust his tongue home. She tasted wild on his tongue, the salty tang reminding him of a night spent at the beach as the stars watched overhead. He cupped her ass and lifted her off the bed, letting his tongue go even deeper. She fisted her hands in the sheets and rose, his mouth moving harder and faster until he sensed her close. He pinched her clit, rolling it between his fingers, and she screamed her release. Her hips bucked hard, and she collapsed to the bed, quivering from the orgasm. He licked her sweetness from his lips and stood.

“Where…are you going?” she asked through her panting.

“Don’t worry, love,” he grunted and shoved his pants down so she could see his throbbing, hard cock. “Simply undressing.”

Before, he wanted to plunge into her hard and fast, but he decided her being on top and able to control him would do her some good. He slid into the bed beside her and lifted her up and over so she straddled him. Her soaking wet sex rubbed along his cock and he groaned. She kissed him, her tongue licking inside his mouth as she explored it, her hips rolling, teasing him. He was determined to let her have this moment and stopped himself from spreading her lips and filling her.

Not that he had long to wait. She reached down and grabbed him hard and strong in her fist, pumping his length. She ran her thumb over his tip, and he gritted his teeth from her teasing.

“Wait, Charlie,” she whispered. “Protection?”

“Right…shit, uh…hold that thought.”

“No, tell me where it is.”

“I’m not going to make you go grab the condom.” She kissed him fiercely and he gave up arguing. “Bathroom—left cabinet, I think,” he said and she hopped off his body, bounding for his bathroom. He smashed his head into the pillow, wondering if they were about to do this and if it was good for her. She was back and tore open the condom wrapper with her teeth, and he forgot all his worries. She hopped on the bed and slid the condom over his shaft.

She straddled him again and sank over his length. Her eyes closed and her face pinched as if in pain, but she took all of him. The bliss that exploded from her eyes told him she was more than enjoying this. She held his gaze as she adjusted to his size, and with a hungry, almost vengeful look he knew was partially for him and partially for her ex, she rode his cock. Charlie placed his hands where she guided them, holding her bouncing breasts and kneading the flesh as she took her pleasure from him. Her head fell back and she lost her rhythm. Without a word, she moved his hands to her hips and nodded.

Charlie held her above him and pounded into her body as she cried out, and pleasure consumed him with each drag out of her body and the insane desire she stoked when he thrust back in. He sat up when he neared his peak and clutched her to his chest, kissing her so his tongue mimicked his cock. When she screamed, he was right there with her, yelling his release as he swelled, stretching her as much as he could.

“How…how do you feel now?” he asked as their sweaty bodies clung to each other and he remained tucked within her folds.

An array of emotions flitted across her face, but it was the warm, hope-filled smile that touched Charlie the most. He felt like he’d been punched in the gut again. She didn’t answer but kissed him as if her life depended on it. He pulled free, picked her up, and carried her to his bedroom.

“Just in case,” he told her with a wink as he laid her on his bed and removed the used condom.

“Just in case, huh?” she mused, rolling over to her stomach as she watched him walk to the trash can in the corner. He picked up a few more condoms from the bathroom and set them on the nightstand, unsure where exactly this night would go.

He crouched by the bed and kissed her forehead, her nose, and finally, her lips. “Hate me yet?”

“No, not even close.” She rested her forehead against his, and a bit more of his heart fell into her hands. “I don’t think you’ll ever understand what you’ve done for me.”

“Doing for you,” he corrected gently.

“Oh?”

“Yes, the night is far from over, and I’m yours for the taking, if you want me.”

Her mouth screwed to the side, but she broke out into another smile and pulled him onto the bed with her.