ALL I WANTED WAS SOME fucking sleep after spending the entire night writing up my last fucking report for my last motherfucking assignment. I’d spent the last four years working undercover operations for the Columbus Police Department and finally got a chance at a promotion. Unfortunately for me, the new job was in Blissville, Ohio, which was more than an hour south, and my old police captain wasn’t inclined to turn me loose until my investigation was completed. I couldn’t really blame him because switching out undercover cops in an eighteen-month investigation was asking to blow shit wide open or get someone killed. I used it as motivation to wrap things up all nice and tight, so I could get on with my life.
In my eagerness to begin my fresh start, I might’ve pushed myself beyond human limitations after accepting the position on the BPD, but taking down Axel Washington and his damn drug and gun-running motorcycle gang was so fucking worth it. Across the country, more and more gangs were popping up following the popularity of a certain cable television show. I confess to watching a few episodes myself to get an idea of what to expect before I went undercover, but I can honestly say that Axel Washington was no bad boy wannabe; he was the real-fucking-deal.
Needless to say, I was exhausted by the time I pulled into the driveway of my rented house. I was grateful that I didn’t have to report to my new captain until the following Monday, so I could attempt to get settled and catch up on all the sleep I’d missed before I would start my new job. I could already tell that I was going to like working for Captain Roman-Wyatt. My new partner, Adrian Goode, seemed like he was going to be a riot to work with. I just wanted to be at my best on day one and that was going to take some serious decompressing after the hellhole I’d just climbed out of the previous night.
I crashed hard the minute I got home and didn’t wake up until about seven in the evening when I heard the familiar sounds of my neighbor letting her dog out. It was hard to tell the woman’s age because she always did that whisper-yell thing, but I liked to pretend that she was a hot blonde with a rocking body—nicely curved hips, narrow waist, and large, luscious tits. It never failed to make my piss hard-on even harder, which took even longer for me to pee. I was tempted to peek out my bedroom window that overlooked her back yard on more than one occasion, but I didn’t want to ruin my spank bank fantasy material.
Once I relieved my bladder, my stomach started making its unhappiness known. I’d survived on fast food for so long that I couldn’t remember the last time I had a decent meal. I knew I should take a shower, get dressed, and go to the diner in town, but that required more energy than I possessed. I decided my stomach could wait and returned to bed, knowing that the neighbor lady’s dog wouldn’t be outside too long in the cold. I was certain that Lulu was some tiny lap dog and not a big, hairy Saint Bernard that would want to frolic around in the cold temps. There was something different about her voice, but I was too tired to give it much thought beyond it sounded louder and less whispery than usual.
I’d just lain back down and shut my eyes when my motion-sensor lights on the back of the house turned on and bright, white light flooded my back yard and one of my bedroom windows along the back wall. Those LED lights didn’t fuck around and neither did I.
Instinctively, I grabbed my gun and ran down the steps and out the back door not caring that I was wearing nothing but a pair of boxer briefs. I half expected to see one of the motorcycle gang’s family members standing in my back yard, but instead it was a vision greater than any I could conjure up and beat off to. The only thing dangerous-looking on my visitor was her pointy nipples poking through her cotton. They looked hard enough to cut glass, but I was willing to risk my safety if she wanted to get up close and personal with my mouth. That was a welcoming committee I could fucking get used to in a heartbeat.
“Is that a fucking gun?” she asked angrily through lips so plush and sensual that I easily imagined them wrapped around my cock.
“Uh…” My ability to communicate had drained south along with my blood to my dick, which I could feel thickening behind my underwear. My brain wasn’t capable of saying much, but my dick was very expressive about what it wanted.
“Why in fuck’s sake are you holding a gun in your hand?” She placed both hands on her hips, which only pushed her glorious tits out even more. Fuck! It had been so long since I’d had my hands on a set like hers that I worried I’d come in my underwear. In my experience, most people—especially women—shy away from a person holding a gun. Not this chick; she marched forward in angry strides that made her boobs bounce and sway hypnotically. My mouth went dry, which was terrible if I wanted to wrap my lips around those nipples and tease them with my tongue, which I desperately did. It was the neighborly thing to do when they were shouting, “Welcome to the neighborhood,” like that.
I heard a crunch seconds before she let out a jagged gasp and stopped in her tracks. “Mother fuck!” Oh, beautiful and cursed like a sailor. My heart pounded a little harder in my chest. My raging hard-on was all but forgotten when she lifted her leg, and I saw blood in the arch of her dainty, bare foot.
I charged forward because that’s what white knights do, right? Of course, she hadn’t forgotten about the gun and quickly dropped her foot to take a step back away from danger. When she did, her foot landed on the flashlight she had dropped. The cylindrical object rolled, knocking her off balance and sent her tumbling backward. She cracked her head on the frozen ground and went immediately still.
“Fuck!” I tucked my gun into the waistband of my boxer briefs since I didn’t exactly have anywhere else to put it. “Miss, are you okay?” I asked, dropping down to my knees beside her. I quickly assessed that she was breathing fine and had just knocked herself out. I heard a soft jingle of metal clicking together a moment before a gray-and-white dog ran over to the prone woman and began licking her face. I would’ve known it was Lulu by the sparkling collar alone, but she had a pink bone-shaped name tag that spelled her name in crystals—or diamonds for all I knew.
I slipped my arms beneath the blonde bombshell and easily lifted her off the ground. “Come on, Lulu. Let’s check out your human to make sure she’s okay.”
As if she understood, Lulu raced me up the steps and waited at the back door for me. I carefully shifted the bundle of pure sex in my arms, and opened it so we could go inside where it was warm. I hadn’t realized how cold I was until I lifted her freezing body into my arms. It was a miracle that I could get an erection in icy temperatures, but then I looked at the angelic face and hot body of the intruder as I laid her gently on the sofa. I covered her with the flannel blanket I kept thrown over the back because the furnace in the house was temperamental at times and it came in handy. I missed seeing her lush form, but only a creepy asshole would lust after her body while she was unconscious. I would wait and openly lust over her once she came around.
I ran upstairs to get some first aid supplies and a pair of my socks. What the hell had she been doing in bare feet? Oh man, I started to worry that she was a nutter, a real bunny burner like in Fatal Attraction. A sexy woman who would lure me into her tight, hot pussy then turn my entire world upside down. I didn’t have a wife to threaten or a bunny to boil, but I was really attached to my cock and balls—figuratively and literally.
I sat at the end of the couch, peeled back the blanket from her legs, and lifted Sleeping Beauty’s injured foot onto my lap. I tried to be gentle when I pressed the antiseptic wipe to her foot, but it must’ve stung like a mofo because she jackknifed into a sitting position and jerked her foot suddenly, tagging me hard in the balls.
“Dammit!” I roared as my boys wept from the abuse. I cupped my nads and willed myself not to puke all over the floor. At least I didn’t have to worry about embarrassing myself with an erection. “Fuck!”
“Oh, I’m so sorry.” Her dog barked beside the couch and the little vixen forgot all about me. “My baby!” She leaned over and scooped Lulu up, placing kisses all over her face and cooing to her. I got my first good look at the dog and thought she was pretty damn cute for an ankle biter, especially the way it looked like she was wearing a Batman mask. My guest must’ve suddenly realized she was in an unfamiliar house because she set the dog on her lap and looked around the room before she turned her large, luminous, and very green eyes on me. She blinked several times like maybe she was imagining things.
“Hi.” No one would ever accuse me of being smooth.
“Hi.” Her voice was a little broken and breathy like I would expect it to be when—if—I slid my dick inside her. She blinked a few more times and the long, dark eyelashes framing her eyes were quite captivating. She glanced down to where I was still cupping my boys to prevent a further beatdown, but they recovered fast and so did the sleeping giant. “Um, you must be my new neighbor. The one with a gun.” She looked around for it.
“It’s tucked in my underwear,” I lamely said in a gritty voice reminiscent of Clint Eastwood’s old western movies. I wanted to tell her to go ahead and make my day, but I didn’t think she would be open to my suggestion right then. Worse, she might think I was a pain slut and drive her heel into my crotch again. If I didn’t know that my cock was leaking from excitement over her sexiness, I would’ve said it was crying at the thought of getting maimed again.
“Where you keep all your big guns,” she teased. Then her face turned an adorable shade of pink that made the freckles on her nose stand out. “Forgive my boldness; I take some getting used to—or so I’m told.” I couldn’t disagree more. I liked the way her eyes raked over my body appreciatively and boldly lingered on my crotch as if she was trying to see what was behind door number one. “I’m Maegan Miracle. I live next door to you.”
She extended her hand and I tried to look down at it, but my eyes locked on her bountiful breasts again when the blanket fell to her lap. Fuck me! That shirt was paper thin and I could see the dusky rose color of her nipples straining against the fabric. I was a sex-starved man on the verge of humiliating myself in front of her.
I cleared my throat and removed one hand off my crotch so I could shake her hand. Her lips quirked up into a sly grin when she saw me shift my other hand to cover as much cock as I could. God, my dick was raging hard and I had never been so happy as I was right then that I had huge hands. Let her think I was modest because it was better than her knowing the pervert I really was.
“I’m Elijah Markham,” I replied, still sounding like a Hollywood gunslinger. Was that a faint tremble I felt in her hand, and did I see a slight shiver work through her body?
Maegan released my hand and scooped her dog back up. She looked down at her precious dog and saw the way her nips poked through the fabric. I was surprised it wasn’t painful. I wanted to reach across the distance between us and cup the lush flesh in my hands and massage them warm to ease any discomfort she had, but I wisely stayed where I sat and just stared. Like that was any better.
“Oh my God!” She yanked the blanket up to cover her chest and looked at me like I was a complete monster. Hey! She was just trying to get a glimpse of my goods too. Who the hell did she think she was to look all pissed off? I didn’t ask her and her pointy nips to come over here and tease me to an erection. I was so glad I didn’t say that out loud when I realized how creepy it sounded. “I gotta go.” She swung her legs around and moved to stand, but fell back onto the couch the minute she put pressure on her injured foot.
“Let me look at that for you, Maegan. I promise to be a good boy.”
She snorted but twisted back around so that her foot was once again resting on my thigh. “I think there’s something in my foot.”
I cupped her heel in the palm of one hand and gingerly ran my thumb over her arch. “I was just trying to clean it so I could see the damage before you woke up.” She gasped but it wasn’t a sound of pain. I looked away from her foot and saw that her eyes were locked on my crotch.
I could’ve been a nice guy and not commented, but that wasn’t my style. Maybe I was that man once upon a time before life dealt me one low blow after the other, but not anymore. I was brash, rough, and sometimes crude, but people knew where they stood with me. “He likes you too.”
Maegan’s eyes darted up to mine. “Holy fuck!” she said before she covered her face with both hands. “I’m going to die from mortification.”
“Why? Because you noticed my dick? I don’t feel a bit embarrassed for admiring your tits. They are fucking spectacular and you should be proud of them.”
“Oh my God!” Maegan said, but her body shook with laughter. “This can’t be happening to me. I must be unconscious in your back yard still.”
“Well, if this is a dream, I’d be helping you out of your pajamas to check to see if there are any other bruises or cuts that need my attention.” She peeked around her hands. I saw one eye narrow in a warning for me to not even think about trying it. “No?” I asked. She shook her head. “Fine.” I picked up the sterile wipe and cleaned her foot as delicately as I could, but she didn’t let out a peep. I suspected it was because she was too busy looking over my body to notice the pain. That wasn’t me being a conceded douche; I could feel her glance caressing over my skin so intently that it felt like her touch ghosting across my skin.
My dick couldn’t have gotten any harder if she whipped her shirt over her head and let me touch her girls. Okay, that was a bold-faced lie, but I was hard, and I wasn’t ashamed of the way my body reacted to her. Her uninjured foot moved a little restlessly against my thigh, giving me the impression that just maybe she was rubbing her thighs together in excitement. Damn, I wanted it to be so.
I wanted to look up her body until our eyes met, but I knew better than to chance it. She really did have a nasty piece of wood from the snapped limb embedded in her foot and deserved to have my focus there and not my obsession to know if she was bare beneath her pj pants too.
“I’m going to work the splinter out with a pair of tweezers. I’ll be as gentle as I can.”
“I’m a tough girl. I can take…. Ow! Fuck! I thought you said work it out; not dig it out with a rusty pocket knife.” She jerked her foot out of my hand and sat back up again. “Give it to me,” she said, holding her palm out. I placed the tweezers in her hand and tried my best not to stare at her chest while she worked the sliver of wood free. Okay, so she was a lot more delicate about it than I had been. She flexed her foot and rotated her ankle. “That’s much better.”
“Let me clean it for you,” I offered. She wanted to argue, but for some reason I wanted to prove to her that I could be gentle and not just an overzealous klutz with big hands, eager dick, and a filthy mind. I wanted her to know that I did have some finesse, but I refused to entertain why it was important to me. She was just my neighbor, nothing more.
“Okay, but I’m watching you.”
I glanced up and noticed her eyes were not on my hands and what they were doing, but were instead raking over my body again. Damn, the girl was something. Whew! I needed to get my mind out of the gutter. A woman who smelled and looked as feminine as she did, probably wouldn’t appreciate the raw, gutter-like thoughts that came to my mind. I’d save that for after she left and could relieve the pressure building in my balls while fantasizing about a different turn of events for her visit. I have her cup of sugar right here. My cup fucking runneth over. Although, I was pretty sure I took a lot of liberties with that phrase from the bible.
“So, what brought you to my back yard?” I asked her.
“Someone left my gate open. Lulu escaped when I went upstairs to change into my pajamas after I got home.” She stroked her beloved dog while she spoke, and I imagined those long fingers with bright red nail polish working my dick instead. Damn, I had it bad, but then her answer finally penetrated through the lusty fog in my brain.
“Does someone often open your gate like that?”
My thoughts had turned suspicious, it must’ve been obvious to Maegan. “It was probably one of the neighbor boys cutting through my yard to get to his friend’s house. They don’t usually leave the gate open.” Maegan tipped her head to the side and studied me. “Do you always brandish a gun anytime someone enters your yard? And when did you install that horrible light with the motion sensor?”
“I’m a cop so suspicion is my middle name,” I replied. “I installed that light the first night I moved in. It pays to be cautious.”
“A cop, huh? Are you the new detective Gabe hired?” My surprise must’ve shown on my face because she just offered me a crooked grin before she said, “Small town. Everyone knows everything.”
“Good to know.”
“Anyway, thanks for not shooting me,” she said wryly. Her smart remark might’ve been partially responsible for my pressing the bandage against her foot a little harder than either of us anticipated. “Brute.” She let out a frustrated sigh as she inspected my nursing job. “Can I borrow that pair of socks to walk home in?”
“I can do better than that. Wait here.”
I half expected her to be gone when I tromped back down the stairs with a pair of slippers in my hand, because what smart woman wouldn’t have bolted in her place, but she sat on my sofa all wrapped up in my blanket looking like she belonged there. I made sure to shove that thought aside faster than I’d retreat upstairs to jerk off as soon as she went home.
“This is really kind of you to let me borrow these,” Maegan said as she slid her feet inside the fur-lined slippers my mom sent me for Christmas.
“No problem,” I told her. “How’s your head? Maybe I should check your pupils to see if they’re dilated.”
“I’m okay,” she replied, waving me off. “I know a concussion when I feel one, and that’s not the case here.”
“Been roughed up a few times?” I asked as she rose to her feet. She started to take the blanket off her shoulders. I couldn’t handle seeing her breasts again, and I didn’t want anyone else seeing them either, although I wasn’t sure who would be out and about on a cold night like that one. “Bring it back when you return my slippers.”
Maegan smiled in relief, and I knew that I had said the right thing for once that evening. She took a tentative step forward to test how her foot felt before she put her full weight on it. She must’ve been okay because she pivoted back around to face me. “I’ve had my fair share of collisions on the soccer field and softball diamond over the years,” she said in response to my question about her familiarity with concussions. Maegan looked down at her little dog and said, “Come, Lulu,” as she began walking toward the kitchen door.
“It was nice to meet you, Elijah. Welcome to Blissville.” Her voice was breathy again, sounding a lot like that cartoon character she wore on her paper-thin pajama shirt.
“See you around, Freckles.”
I shut the door behind her after she left and stood there for several moments. A wide smile spread across my face as I realized, that for the first time in my life, the reality of something—or someone in this case—might possibly turn out to be better than my fantasy.