I WAS IN UNCHARTERED TERRITORY with Maegan. Well, that was only partially true. I’d sailed the waters before, but it had been a very long time, and my boat ran ashore with catastrophic results. The fact that I didn’t want to wash Maegan’s scent off my body prompted me to haul my ass to the shower at the ass crack of dawn and do just that.
She’s just a piece of ass, Eli. Beautiful, sexy, and alluring, but still just a piece of ass. Don’t ever forget it. Don’t trust her.
No matter how much my brain urged me to be cautious, my heart—and dick—recalled every single second of the night I spent with her. Running the bar of soap over my flesh reminded me of all the places on my body she touched, kissed, sucked, or licked. Maegan was a very inquisitive girl and the only part of me that she didn’t know intimately were the spaces between my toes. Everything else, and I do mean everything, had at least been traced or touched by her teasing fingers. As if to mock me, the claw marks she left on my back and ass cheeks stung when I stepped beneath the scalding spray.
I’d never had to pop ibuprofen after sex before, but then again, I wasn’t sure what we experienced could be reduced to such a simple word. Every muscle on my body ached from extended tightening and flexing beneath her ministrations. There was so much more than an exchange of body fluids going on, which was the real reason for my panic. That, plus the confession that slid from her lips in the dark.
“Wow, this has never happened to me.”
“Multiple orgasms?”
“No, an orgasm with another person.”
She had to be fucking with my mind, right? No other guy had managed to make her scream their names? Were they fucking idiots? Were they selfish pricks, or did they just not have any skill in the sack? Man, her words blew my mind. And what was my response to this discovery?
“Huh.” Yep, but it gets better. “Well, you’re welcome.” Hey, the lady ignited my soul and I was grappling with everything she made me feel and want.
I waited for the huffy breath and scathing remark—possibly a slap to the face—but Maegan showed me again that she was as unpredictable as choosing the winning lottery numbers. She laughed deep and hard in the darkness, so hard it shook her bed. I couldn’t see Maegan, but if I could, I knew her head would be thrown back as laughter rolled out of her. I suspected that Maegan put her full heart, body, and soul into everything she did.
She didn’t giggle, she laughed. Maegan didn’t make love, she fucked. I instinctively knew that Maegan didn’t give her heart easily, but when she did, she gave her whole heart—not just tattered fragments. I was the exact opposite; all I had to offer were shards of the man I used to be, and not many were willing to risk cutting themselves by getting too close. My heart—or was it my dick—wanted me to take a chance on Maegan because she was strong enough to glue the pieces of my shattered soul together again.
Run. Get out now!
Fuck. The strain from wanting to pull Maegan close and push her away created a seesaw effect on my nerves, causing pressure to build inside my head and chest until it felt like I might explode. I flopped down on my bed after toweling off, both grateful and sad that my bed didn’t smell like her. We could rectify that in a heartbeat. My dick started to swell at just the thought of having that sexy wildcat in my bed. My skin started tingling where she had scored me, making me think she was a sorceress who’d cast a spell. It was like she was sending a message through the marks she left behind. If they could talk, they would have said, “I dare you to try and forget me, Elijah.”
Resist!
Lack of sleep from the previous two nights caught up to me, and I fell into a hard and fast sleep. I should’ve known the riotous emotions would follow me into my dreams and wreak havoc, but the intensity of the memories that flitted through my brain like a cruel kaleidoscope caught me off guard—ambushed me as surely as the Taliban had.
“I’m going to love you forever, Elijah.” We were eight years old and I had carved our initials in a tree like some lovesick sap.
“I, Elijah Donovan Markham, take thee, Brandy Lynn Rogers, to be my lawfully wedded wife…” It was supposed to be the happiest day of our lives.
“This war might separate us physically, Elijah, but I’ll be right there in your heart. You’ll never be alone. Do you hear me? When you get home, I promise to be the first thing you see. It’s you and me forever just like we said when we were kids.” Words that lifted my battered soul and eased the guilt I felt over leaving her alone.
“I miss you so much, baby, but your family has made me feel so loved.” It comforted me to know that my family was taking care of my girl while I was away.
I ignored my gut instinct and blamed the missed calls and decrease in letters from her on everything and everyone but my wife. There was no way that my Brandy would do the things that seasoned soldiers warned me about, not my girl. Her heart was still as pure as when she gave her body to me after homecoming our sophomore year of high school. Elijah and Brandy. Names that went together from the moment we were born, which was only a few days apart. Our mothers were best friends, so we were raised together, took family vacations together, and learned about love together.
A person didn’t think of me without thinking of Brandy, and vice versa. I held onto that knowledge when fear clawed at my guts in the middle of the night when loneliness descended on me like a suffering smog, or when the bombs exploded and the world burned to the ground around me, threatening to consume me too. Brandy was my constant, my guaranteed prize at the end of the ugliest fight. Knowing she would be there to meet me with open arms was the only thing that got me through the year-long separation.
Except she wasn’t there when I got off the plane at the base. “She’s not feeling well,” my mama calmly said, but I knew it had to be serious for her to miss my homecoming. She told me she had bought a special dress to wear and everything, but of course, that was before she started withdrawing from me. Fear lashed at my insides, leaving me bloody and raw as I went in search of her. Brandy wasn’t in the apartment we shared. She wasn’t at her mama’s house. None of her friends would tell me where I could find her. I was beside myself with grief and panic. What the fuck was going on?
She ended up being in the last place I expected to find her. I’d gone to his house knowing he’d get drunk and commiserate with me, not stopping to think it was weird that he wasn’t there to greet me with Mom and Dad either. Jack was my big brother, my hero. I knew something was wrong by the expression on his face when he opened the door, but I swear to God, nothing could’ve prepared me for the shock I faced.
“You need to remain calm, Elijah,” he said, his hands up in surrender. “She’s in no condition for the fight you probably want to have right now. Take it out on me; I deserve it.”
“What the fuck are you talking about, Jack?”
That’s when he realized that no one had told me yet. He hid in his house, expecting our parents or mutual friends to tell me what he’d done to me. My own motherfucking brother. Wife-fucking was the accurate adjective, but not nearly as nasty enough for the crime he committed against me. The fucking coward shook with fear as he confessed to what he’d done.
“Is she here?” I asked, shoving past him. “Brandy! You fucking whore!” I screamed. “Come out here and face me.”
“She can’t, Elijah.” Jack grabbed my arm to stop me from going into his bedroom. I wheeled on him and punched him in the fucking mouth. I left him holding his hand to his busted lips while I charged into the bedroom, nearly ripping the door down in the process.
“Elijah,” Brandy said weakly, tears streaming down her face. I used to think she was so beautiful, an angel sent from above, but right then I knew I was looking into the eyes of someone as evil as they came. Then my eyes dropped to her swollen stomach and it felt like someone had kicked me in mine. “I never meant for this to happen. I never wanted to hurt you. It just… happened.”
“You never meant to spread your legs for my brother, Brandy? How does that accidentally happen?” She started to sob, but I wouldn’t be deterred by her guilt. She wasn’t sorry; she was ashamed. “What happened to forever, Brandy? What happened to the promises you made to me? Vows to be faithful? Was it always a lie? Is Jack the first one you fucked behind my back or just another sorry sucker that fell for your honey trap?”
“It wasn’t like that,” she said, pleading with her voice and eyes for me to understand something that would never make sense to me. “I’m so sorry.”
“Please, Elijah,” Jack said from the doorway. “She’s on complete bed rest because of a high-risk pregnancy. It’s too soon, and our son won’t survive if Brandy goes into labor now. She can’t take this kind of stress, brother.”
“Don’t you call me that, Jack. You’re fucking dead to me,” I snarled. His cautionary words had the effect he wanted though, because no matter how much I hated them, I would never want to cause harm to their unborn son.
“Take it out on me, br… Elijah. I deserve it; I can take it. Please leave her alone.”
“Outside now,” I commanded.
Jack followed me, head held high, and took his ass-whooping on his front lawn without trying to defend himself or even deflect my blows. It was a good start, but it did nothing to slake the bloodlust pumping through my veins. The sky opened and pelted me with rain, but even that couldn’t diminish the fires raging through me. I left Jack lying nearly unconscious on his front lawn in the pouring rain and drove to the nearest bar to find trouble. I found it fast. I took on three of them who were as angry about life as I was and willing to fight back.
I woke up in the hospital a few days later thinking I’d been in some sort of accident and Brandy’s betrayal with Jack was nothing more than a bad dream. One look into my mother’s eyes told me otherwise. Anger rose swift and hard inside me. “Get out.” She should’ve told me instead of letting me find out like that. Tears streamed down my face as I recalled seeing Brandy’s pregnant stomach because she was supposed to cradle my babies beneath her heart, not my… Jack’s.
“Son,” my father, Jack Sr., said in his thunderous voice. I didn’t know he was even in the room. “Don’t take this out on your mother.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked between racking sobs.
“We didn’t know how.” My mom reached for my hands, but I jerked away from her.
“Don’t touch me.”
“Do not talk to your mother like that,” my father snarled. The gunnery sergeant was as gritty and badass as they came, except when it came to my mama. “What happened to you is terrible, but we can’t undo it. We just need to find a way to move forward. Adapt and improvise.”
“How easily would you have adapted and improvised if mom fucked Uncle Stan while you were in Vietnam?”
My father’s growl snarled in his throat, and he balled his fist in preparation to fight me. It was obvious just hearing the words brought out a murderous rage in my father’s heart. “You can’t even stand hearing the words, so you try to imagine seeing it with your own eyes, Jack.” He stopped being my father in that moment. “You can shove ‘adapt and improvise’ up your ass, Jack, and both of you can get the fuck out of here.”
“No, Elijah,” my mom said tearfully then turned to my father. “Stop being such a hard-ass. What they did to Elijah is inconceivable.”
“Jack is our son too, Brenda. Are we supposed to cast him aside over Brandy’s infidelity?”
“Did she drug him before she fucked him?” I asked sourly. Don’t get me wrong, I was furious over Brandy’s betrayal, but it wasn’t hers alone. It took two to fuck me over. His precious namesake owned half of the blame too, but he didn’t want to hear that. Jack could do no wrong in his eyes, not even getting my wife pregnant while I fought a war. I had begged my whole life for the man’s attention, even joined the military to follow in his footsteps hoping it would make him proud. It was a hateful reality to know that he’d choose a lying, philandering asshole for a kid over me. “Don’t give him a pass because he’s your firstborn and namesake.” I left off favorite, even though it applied as well.
“I’d think someone in as much pain as you’re surely in would be a little smarter,” he sneered at me. “You don’t get to suck us into a war between brothers over a piece of faithless ass.”
“I also don’t have to give a shit about a parent who can’t spare an ounce of compassion for his son who just had his motherfucking world turned upside down! Get out!” My blood pressure soared, making the pain in my head throb worse, and sounding the alarms for the nurses. “I don’t need you! I don’t need anyone! Get out!”
My mom cried harder with every word I shouted, but I couldn’t stop myself. Right then I felt she was as complicit as the others in my betrayal because of her silence. “Please forgive me,” she whispered as the nurses shoved past her and administered mind-and pain-numbing medications that helped me slide into a blissful, dark hole.
Something yanked me from my turbulent sleep; I came out swinging and snarling as piercing pain seized my heart. I rubbed my hand over my chest, but it did nothing to alleviate the agony that those memories elicited in me. I eventually repaired my fractured relationship with my mom, but in the past ten years, I hadn’t stepped foot in their house, or talked to my father, Jack, or his wife. I knew that Jack and Brandy had a few kids together, but I’d never met them.
I heard Maegan’s metal gate slowly creak open from beneath my window, putting me on high alert. I eased out from beneath the covers and softly walked to the window.
“I wonder if she’s home?” a teenage boy asked hopefully.
“You’re just hoping to get a glimpse of her tits,” a sullen teenage girl replied. I imagined her eyes were rolling up in the back of her head.
The entire thing would’ve been funny if I’d been in the right mood. I yanked my curtain open and peered down at the two kids as they entered Maegan’s gate and headed across her yard. Sure enough, they left the gate hanging wide open.
Fury lit my ass up, and I jerked the window open. “Hey, assholes! Close her fucking gate! You left it open the other night and Lulu got out. Luckily she didn’t get hit by a motherfucking car.”
“Oh no!” the girl said, covering her mouth. Her eyes widened when she saw my bare chest, and her face turned pink for reasons other than embarrassment.
The boy wasn’t nearly as impressed. He puffed up like a fucking rooster and challenged me with a look before he opened his mouth. “Who the hell are you? The gate police?”
I grabbed my wallet off the dresser and flipped it open for him to see my Blissville Police Department badge. “Gate Detective,” I clarified, “but I’ll answer to Detective Markham also.” I closed my wallet and pointed at the punk. “Stop creeping around here trying to get a glimpse of Ms. Miracle’s tits! That’s fucking pervy and the first step to becoming a serial killer.” Okay, that was probably overkill because any straight dude with a pulse would want a peep at Maegan’s tits.
The girl’s giggle was muffled by her gloves, but we both still heard it. Her male companion didn’t find anything funny about the exchange and stomped back out of Maegan’s yard.
“We’re sorry, Detective Markham,” the girl said.
I nodded. “Don’t cut through her yard anymore. It’s rude.”
“Yes, sir,” she said, closing the gate and scrambling after her friend. She caught up to him two houses down, and I smiled when they started to argue and gesture toward my window.
I closed the window and curtains then returned to my bed. A smile spread across my face over the incident until I realized the real reason for my ire wasn’t that the boy wanted to see Maegan’s tits, it was because I didn’t want anyone else besides me seeing them. Ever.
Fuck! Nothing good would come from this.