Ayla
1 week later
What’s my name?
I tried to remember. I tried to whisper my name, but my lips wouldn’t move.
What’s my name?
I asked myself that question a few times, trying hard to remember. But everything was a blur. Nothing made sense. I couldn’t remember my name…my life…or anything.
I was just numb. Lost. I didn’t feel.
I didn’t know where I was. It was always dark, with just a little bit of light. The cold seeped into my skin until I would shiver uncontrollably.
My name. I had to remember my name.
Ay…A…it started with an A.
Al…Ay…Ay…
Closing my eyes, I laid down on the cold ground and pulled my knees to my chest. My memories were all broken, shattered around the place.
Ay…Ayla…
Ayla.
It sounded correct. Familiar. It sounded like me.
Ayla.
My name is Ayla.
I hung onto this new revelation. Ayla. My name was Ayla, and I had to remember. I couldn’t forget again. It was a routine. I would remember but then forget it again.
My name is Ayla.
As I repeated the phrase in my head, I heard a whisper. It was all in my head, but the whisper continued. It was one word. Two Syllables.
It wasn’t my name.
But it sounded so right. Like I needed to know it.
Every time I tried to remember my name, the word Angel was always a whisper in my head.
Ayla. Angel. Ayla. Angel.
I didn’t make sense, but I repeated it over and over again in my head.
Who was I? I didn’t know.
Where did I come from? I didn’t know.
I was living in a blur. In a pitch-dark world. I was nothing. I felt like nothing. I was just an empty vessel.
How long has it been since I was locked in this dungeon?
The days and nights blended into each other until I lost count. Days, weeks, months?
I wished I knew, but the devil made sure I was left in the darkness. He had stripped me of everything, even my memories.
Curled against the wall, with the shackles around my ankles and wrists, I rocked back and forth. My eyes closed as I slowly fell into oblivion, another dark abyss where there was no escape.
I woke up to the sound of the door opening. It banged shut, and I opened my eyes to see the devil approaching me.
I waited for his command, my body and mind ready to do his bidding.
He held a bowl in his hand, and the smell of food filled my nostrils. My stomach tightened as hunger suddenly assaulted me.
He didn’t feed me on a regular basis. Sometimes, I would go days without food, until my stomach would cramp so painfully that I found it hard to breathe.
He would leave me on the cold ground until I trembled so hard that it felt like my insides were shaking.
The bowl was placed on the ground between us. He kicked it away a few feet.
“Eat.”
He kept his eyes on me when the single word command was given. The tone of his voice held a hint of rage, but it also held no space for questions.
I sat up and stared at the bowl a few feet away from me. Without wasting another second, I got to my knees obediently. That was what he wanted.
And I gave it to him. Only because I needed the food he was offering me.
I felt the cold hard floor under my knees and palms as I crawled toward the bowl. My dignity was long shredded to pieces. My soul was crushed, and my heart had fractured.
I had nothing left. I was the definition of an empty shell. The devil made sure of that.
When I bent down to eat, he kicked it a few feet away again. I crawled again. He kicked the bowl again.
This process was repeated once again until I had used all the length of my shackles, and I was straining against them to reach the bowl.
Still on my knees, I bent down and licked the soup. Trying to get as much into my frail body as possible. My stomach rolled as the warm liquid filled my mouth.
It was tasteless, but I still ate. It was the only thing I could do.
My body shook every time I swallowed. When I heard the devil unzipping his pants, my mind went blank, and I waited for what was to come.
I continued to eat as I felt him behind me. I still ate as he bent over me, molding his body on top of mine. If I stopped eating, he would hurt me more.
I felt his heavy length at my entrance, and I closed my eyes. He pushed inside, only penetrating slightly. It was all a game for him.
I continued eating, taking as much liquid as I could into my body.
He pushed into me slowly until he was buried deep inside. I pressed my hands harder into the floor, trying to keep myself upright.
His fingers dug into my hips, and I almost winced in pain. My shackles rattled as he started to thrust inside of me, going deeper and faster each time. An almost feral growl erupted from his lips as he bent my body to his will.
He shoved inside me forcefully and painfully. It felt like my body was splintering in half as he took me again and again.
I stared at the soup, my eyes blurred, my mind numb, my body empty.
My stomach rolled painfully. My throat went tight as I tasted bile on my tongue. My mouth was filled with a bitter taste, and I dry heaved into my soup.
As he finished inside of me, I couldn’t help myself. I retched, my body heaving as I threw up. The vomit trailed down my chin and neck.
The dungeon already smelt bad, but the vomit only added to the horrendous smell. It was enough to make me throw up again.
The devil laughed. His laughter echoed into my ears. My body hurt. Everything hurt.
As he pulled out of me, I fell to the ground next to my bowl. I laid my cheek on the ground, right where the vomit was. I tried to breathe, but it was too hard.
I felt crippled with pain.
The devil laughed as he left the room. Even when he wasn’t there anymore, I still heard his laughter. My ears rang with it. I would never forget his laughter.
I didn’t know how long I stayed in that position. When my eyes started to droop, I got to my knees and crawled back to my spot next to the wall.
I laid down and curled into myself, closing my eyes.
I tried to go somewhere in my mind, a place where I could escape this nightmare. But I couldn’t remember anything.
No, that was a lie.
I remembered something.
Even when I would forget my name. Even when I had forgotten everything, there was something I didn’t forget.
Blue eyes. Bluish-steel colored eyes.
A face with those blue eyes would always flash behind my closed eyes. Although the face was blurred, I always saw the eyes.
It was the only constant thing in this nightmare.
Sometimes, I would see a hint of a smile on the face. A lot of times, I tried to concentrate harder, and occasionally I could almost see the man behind the blue eyes.
When everything else was broken memories, the man with blue eyes was my savior. I called him my savior because he kept me from completely losing myself.
I didn’t know who he was, but while I had forgotten everything else, there was something stopping me from forgetting him. And those blue eyes.
My mind wouldn’t let me forget him. Whoever he was, wherever he was, he probably didn’t know it, but he was my savior.
It was strange that while I didn’t know anything, he was there. Always in my thoughts.
Who was he to me? I wondered.
With my eyes closed, I heard a voice calling out to me. The man with blue eyes was calling out to me.
I was surprised when I heard him say Angel. He was calling me Angel.
Was that my name? Angel?
No, my name was Ayla.
Confused, my head started to ache, but I still forced myself to remember.
The piano. White flowers. The forest. A river.
They were all just blurred images in my head. They flashed behind my closed lids before I had a chance to understand them.
Alessio.
The name was a whisper in my mind. I heard laughter. And the name Alessio.
Alessio. I felt it in my heart.
Sweet kisses. Gentle caresses. Loving eyes.
The memories were all broken puzzles that didn’t make sense.
But one thing for sure was that with all the shattered memories that assaulted me, the man with blue eyes was always there. In every single piece of memory, he was there.
Alessio.
Was that his name?
It felt…right. It felt like…him.
My savior finally had a name. Alessio.
With my eyes still closed, I slowly sank into another pit of darkness. Sleep took over my body as I slowly succumbed to my tiredness and pain.
And as every time I fell asleep, the man with blue eyes met me in my dreams.
Alessio.
With his name a mere whisper in my mind, I fell asleep against the cold hard floor with the shackles around my wrists and ankles.