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The Way Back to Us by Howard, Jamie (26)

Probably the only thing I enjoyed more than hearing Dani laugh was the feel of her in my arms when I woke up in the morning. Head nestled under my chin, leg thrown over mine, hand resting on my hip. I tipped my face down to press a gentle kiss against her forehead, the scent of my own shampoo wafting up to greet me. A smile spread across my face, just from knowing it was because she’d been showering at my place the morning before.

That was how I wanted to wake up every morning for the rest of my life.

Dani puffed out a breath, stirring. “What time is it?”

“How am I supposed to know?” I rolled my eyes over her head. “It’s not like you’ve got a damn clock here.”

“Where’s your phone?” She mumbled against my chest.

“Somewhere. I lost track of it after I turned it off.” I pushed myself up a little, looking for it. The place was a mess. Clothes strewn on the floor, intermingled with food containers, a half-empty bottle of wine. I traced a path away from Dani’s kitchen or bathroom—I wasn’t sure what to call it since there was a toilet next to the refrigerator—and finally spotted my phone a few feet away from the door. I flopped back down. “It’s over by the door.”

Dani’s muscles went taut as she stretched, cracking open on eye and then the other. She squinted at the window on the far side of the room. “It’s still pretty early. Maybe seven.”

I looked at the same exact place she had. “How the hell can you tell that?”

“The shadows on the floor.” She waved a hand at them.

“You’re telling me you can actually tell the time by the shadows on the floor.”

She rolled onto her back so she could look at me. “Do you think I’m lying?”

“Yes, yes I do.” I climbed off the uncomfortable-as-hell futon mattress, giving Dani a lovely flash of my bare ass. Tiptoeing through the garbage, I made it to my phone only to find it stone dead. “Son of a bitch. Alright, get up.”

“Up?”

“We have to go find a clock.”

Her sigh was deep. “You should just save yourself the trouble and assume I’m right.”

“Get up, lazy. C’mon.” I grabbed her outstretched hand and gave it a pull. The blanket fell away leaving nothing but a pair of long, slim legs and an I Love Tacos T-shirt. “I still can’t believe you have that.”

She made a face. “You’ve got to wear it again before I leave. It doesn’t smell like you anymore.” She bit her lip and looked back at me, gauging my reaction.

I managed not to feel it this time. We tread carefully around the inevitability of her leaving most of the time, but the casual mention of it still seemed to knock the wind out of me. “I’m not sure it’ll fit me anymore with how much more muscular I am now.”

She snorted. “Sure.”

“Seriously, look.” I lifted my arm to flex for her. “I was not this jacked in college.”

“Turn around so I can pee.”

“You are bruising my ego.” I toed the bottle of wine out of the way as I searched for my boxer briefs. I had been wearing some last night hadn’t I? My nose scrunched as I wracked my brain. No, I totally had. I grabbed a corner of the blanket and shook it out. My shirt came tumbling out but no undies. I went for the pillows next. The flash of metal underneath Dani’s pillow definitely was not my underwear.

“Uh, Dani? Did you know there’s a gun under your pillow?” I made a face at it. Guns weren’t really my thing. In fact I’d never even handled one before. This one was a mix of black and silver, some type of handgun.

Dani came flying past me and snatched it up, cradling it in her hand like it was the most natural thing in the world. It occurred to me that maybe for her it actually was. “Sorry. I can’t sleep unless I have this in reach.”

That thought sunk into my gut like a boulder. “Is that . . . safe?”

“The safety is on.” She shrugged.

I finally spotted the missing boxer briefs near the kitchen sink and made my way over to them. “Have you ever had to use that?”

The gun disappeared in her purse. “Yes.”

“On a person?”

The taco T-shirt made its way back into her purse as she pulled on last night’s clothes. Running her fingers through her bright hair, she twisted it up into a knot on the top of her head. “Do you really want to know the answer to that, Gavin?”

Did I? I’d tossed around the possibility that Dani was an undercover cop, some type of agent for an intelligence agency, a criminal, a fugitive, the works. So, would the knowledge that she’d actually shot someone change how I looked at her?

I zipped up my jeans. Even if I wasn’t sure if I wanted to know, her not answering gave me all the answer I needed. “Was it in self-defense?”

She blew out a breath. “What does that matter?”

“Well, it’s the difference between me dating someone who isn’t afraid to defend themselves and a serial killer.”

“I’m not a serial killer. Thanks.” She tucked her purse tighter to her body. “Weren’t you in a rush to find a clock?”

I flipped my hat around backward and tucked it down over my wild hair. That haircut wasn’t really an option anymore, it was quickly becoming a necessity. Dani’s shoulders were tense as I wrapped an arm around her. “For the record, serial killer was never on my list of guesses.”

She rested her head against me as we meandered down the hallway. “I wish you wouldn’t guess at all.”

“Well, you know. If wishes were horses . . .” I gave her shoulder a squeeze.

* * *

I cradled an overfull bag of bagels under my arm, handing over my keys to Dani. After making me look like an ass for questioning her—she’d been dead on about the time—we’d stopped by the best bagel place in the entire city. I’d eaten two while we were there, was halfway through a third, and had gotten another dozen to go.

Dani narrowed her eyes at my keys. Flipping through to try and find the one for the apartment. “Why do you have so many keys?”

“Ibs a old un. O ot at un.” Speaking through a bagel was the height of unintelligible. But with Dani’s bag in one hand, the paper bag of bagels in the other, my mouth had been the only other option for my in-progress bagel.

“This one?” She asked, holding it up.

“O. At un.” I tried to motion with my eyes.

“Jesus Christ.” She tried another one in the lock, only to stumble forward when someone opened the door from the other side.

“Ut a ell urg u oing ere?”

Ben ripped the bagel out of my mouth, leaving behind only a tiny piece of cinnamon raisin. I swallowed it.

“Have you heard from your sister?” he demanded.

I shoved by him. “You’re going to have to be a little bit more specific than that.”

“Daphne. Have you heard from Daphne?”

“No.” I dumped my bags down on the kitchen counter and found Rachel worriedly pacing around my dining room. “I mean it’s dead, but I haven’t even gotten a chance to give her my new number. Why, what’s going on?”

Rachel gave Ben a dirty look.

My chest tightened painfully. “Somebody needs to tell me what the hell is going on right now.”

“Your family’s been calling. Daph never came home after school yesterday. No one can get in touch with her.”

Blood rushed through my ears and my vision went spotty for a second. “She’s missing?”

“They’ve called the police, local hospitals, the school, some of her friends. They were hoping since the two of you are so close that you’d know if she was planning to go somewhere.” Ben’s phone started ringing. “Shit, you get this. It’s for you.”

“Hello?” I practically shouted into the phone.

“Where have you been? How can I be on the other side of the world and still be more accessible than you?” Val shouted back at me. “Please tell me you know where she is.”

“I don’t. God, I haven’t talked to her in like a week. She doesn’t even have my new number.”

She stifled a sob. “I can’t believe this is happening. How the hell is this happening right now? This is Daphne.”

A lightbulb lit in my brain. “Have you talked to Darlene? Daph has been going on and on about visiting her this summer and—”

“Daph booked her ticket right after you convinced Mom to let her go. She’s supposed to leave in two weeks. Darlene hasn’t heard from her either.”

Hope deflated from me like a popped balloon. “Shit.”

“Gav, how soon can you get on a plane?” she asked. “Mom is losing her mind. She needs you.”

“Now, I’m leaving now. Just as soon as I can get a bag packed.”

“Can I still reach you at this number?”

I looked to Ben. “Yeah, I’ll have this phone with me.” He nodded.

A harsh dose of static rolled through the line. “Okay, let me know when you land. I’ll give Darlene this number so she can text any updates she gets to you.”

“She’s going to be okay, Val.” I said it and forced myself to believe it.

“She has to be,” she whispered back before she hung up.

Rachel shoved a bag in my direction. “I put together some clothes for you. I’m not sure if it’s what—”

I wrapped her in a hug. “It’s perfect. Thank you.” Then to Ben, “I’ll send updates to the guys and Rachel whenever I get them. Stick by one of them since I’ll have your phone and won’t be able to get in touch.”

“None of us will be far from our phones. If you need anything, just say the word,” he said.

I scanned the room, trying to think of anything I might need, but my thoughts were a chaotic snarl. I couldn’t think, couldn’t focus on anything. Daphne was fucking missing. Missing. What did that mean? She wasn’t the kind of kid to run away, so that meant . . . I shut that thought down completely. I had a bag, a phone, my wallet. That was all I needed. Well, almost all I needed.

“Dani, do you need to pack anything?” I shook my head. “Right, you’re always packed. Obviously. Don’t worry about the ticket, it’s totally on me—”

“Gavin.” Her fingers looped around my forearm. “I can’t go with you.”

The riot in my head went silent. “What?”

Her gaze darted to Ben and Rachel. “I can’t go. I just . . . I can’t.” She looked at me desperately, willing me to understand.

I sure as hell didn’t understand. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Gavin—”

“I don’t have time for this.” I gave the place a last once-over, and a pair of furry ears popped up over the back of the couch. “Elvis.” I whistled for him and he came trotting over. Scooping him up in my arms I said, “This guy’s coming with me.”

“Are you sure?” Dani asked. “I can watch him for you. I don’t mind.”

“Thanks, but I think I’d rather have the company.”

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