Someone was knocking on my door. I knew it even through the fog of sleep. And just as soon as I got up the energy to move I was going to fucking kill them. Who the hell did they think they were showing up here at—I lifted my head just enough to search out the time—eleven o’clock in the morning . . .

Shit.

I rolled onto my back and kicked off the covers. My eyes were sandy, my mouth drier than Ben’s sense of humor. For some reason I was still wearing my jeans, which made absolutely zero sense. Sleeping with pants on was one of my biggest no-nos. It ranked right up there with having sex with socks on and squeezing toothpaste from the middle of the tube.

Another knock, softer this time.

A groan slipped through my lips, and holy hell. My nostrils flared. That wasn’t just morning breath, it was death encapsulated in a scent. Door first, then toothbrush. I forced myself out of bed and almost immediately tripped over an empty bottle of bourbon. It spun, the hints of morning sunlight creeping through the curtain reflecting off it.

The spinning bottle was like the damn loading circle on the computer and when it stopped revolving, the memories filtered back into place—going to The Blackbird, the absence of Dani there, my heart annihilated, the bourbon. I must’ve eventually passed out.

My heart gave a painful throb, but I brushed it off. Door, toothpaste, then wallowing.

Scuffing my feet across the floor, I ran a hand over my hair quickly, trying to at least tame the rioting curls on top of my head. Good enough. I yanked the door open, half-expecting to find Felix on the other side waiting to reprimand me, but instead there was Dani.

I rubbed my eyes again, hard. Clearly I was hallucinating.

“Gav, are you okay?” Cool fingers brushed my arm. “You look . . . not good.”

“That’s probably because I’m not good,” I snapped. “Where the hell did you go? You just left? You couldn’t even bother to be like, hey Gav, the Bat-Signal just went off and I’ve gotta run, I’ll catch up with you later?”

Her cheeks flushed a light shade of pink and her gaze dipped to the floor. “I’m sorry. Really sorry. It wasn’t intentional. I was just so frazzled after everything that happened that night that when I got the message . . .” She shrugged.

I held the door open for her. I might’ve been mad but I knew for sure I wasn’t sending her away. And I was absolutely positive this wasn’t a conversation we needed to have in the hall. “Where were you last night?”

“Last night?” She set a plastic bag down on the counter, filled with what looked like groceries.

“The Blackbird.”

I saw the moment the pieces all fell together and her eyes filled with understanding. “I was off, remember? We weren’t supposed to be back yet.”

Motherfucker. I leaned my elbows on the kitchen counter so I could support my pounding head in my hands. The only person I had to blame for this shitty hangover was myself. Well, maybe I could still share the blame with Dani. Fifteen percent her, eighty-five for me.

Her fingers gently brushed back my hair. “I am so sorry.” She cupped my cheek in her palm. “Gavin, I want to make you a promise. And I don’t make promises lightly. I’m not a big fan of them honestly, but this one I need to make.”

She waited until I was looking at her. “When the time comes, I promise you I won’t leave without saying goodbye.”

“But what if—”

“No matter what happens.”

Relief flooded through me, rushing so fast that my head felt a little light. Behind it came a healthy dose of fear, equally potent. “Dani, I don’t want you putting yourself in danger. Not just to say goodbye.”

She pursed her lips. “Don’t concern yourself with the logistics of it.”

“How can you even say that? Days ago you were telling me you were knocking on death’s door because of what went down in Syracuse—”

“Syracuse was my fault, not yours.”

I gritted my teeth together. “I’m not really concerned with whose fault it is. The only thing I actually care about is that you’re alive and safe.” I sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Even if that means you’re not with me.”

“And all I want is for you to be happy.” Her knuckles went white where they gripped the counter. “Even if that means it’s not with me.”

The thought of being happy without Dani was laughable. Content, sure. I could find a woman to settle down with if I really tried. But she’d never be Dani. It’d only be a shadow of the love I’d felt, and somehow that didn’t feel fair to that imaginary woman. The thought of being a perpetual bachelor wasn’t at all unappealing. Cool Uncle Gavin. Because even though I’d tell Dani otherwise, there’d always be a part of me that was constantly looking to the horizon, waiting for her to come back to me.

“Well, I promise you that this—” I gestured to my current disheveled state. “—is just a momentary lapse. A few days’ worth of wallowing because I thought I lost you, and then I was planning on putting it behind me and moving forward.”

“Good,” she said, but her words lacked the conviction to back them. She laced her fingers together, wringing them.

The sight of it was like a trigger. “The other night, that nightmare . . .” I knew what I wanted to ask, but for the life of me couldn’t find the words I wanted to use.

She winced. “Maybe we can work up to that one.” The plastic bag rustled as the pulled back the corner of it. “I brought stuff for breakfast, if you’re up to eating?”

Right, food. That explained the gnawing in my stomach. I wrinkled my nose. “Maybe no eggs though.”

“Carbs, plenty of carbs.”

“Yes, please.” I caught another whiff of myself and nearly stopped breathing. “I need to shower.”

“Yeah, you do.” Her lips curved in a smile. “Go, I can take care of this.”

She reached for the bag and started pulling things out. She’d definitely come prepared. If I showered quick, breakfast would be nice and hot by the time I was done. I’d thank her later for the meal.

I’d only made it to the doorway of my bedroom when Dani called me back. “Gav, uh, there’s a note here for you.” She wiggled the paper in the air. “It was on the refrigerator.”

I squinted at the nearly illegible handwriting.

Fucker,

I took your dog out this morning. You’re welcome.

—F

I glanced up sharply, looking for Elvis. Seriously, I was the worst dog owner ever. I really needed to remedy that. It took me a second to find him and when I did, well, clearly Elvis was quite displeased with me. If the reproach in his stare didn’t freeze me solid, the mangled shoe between his paws was as clear as him saying, Fuck you, Gavin. Fuck you very much.

“Sorry, man.” I set the note back on the counter. “How about I get you a steak later to make it up to you?”

Elvis stared back at me, unblinking.

“Filet mignon? Only the good stuff, of course.”

His ears lifted, head tilting slightly to the side. I’d take that as a yes.

“Quick shower,” I said to Dani. “I’ll be right back.”

“Mhmm.” Her eyes danced with amusement, her cheeks tight from holding back her laughter.

I made record time getting cleaned up—showered, shaved, and teeth brushed in under fifteen minutes. When I strolled back into the kitchen I was minty fresh, as clean as a baby’s bottom, and ultimately comfortable in a pair of sweats and a white T-shirt.

The smells coming from the kitchen were, in a word, orgasmic.

I plopped onto a stool, my mouth watering, stomach growling. Dani pushed a plate toward me—pancakes, hash browns, crispy bacon. I sniffed, catching a hint of something else in the air.

“It’s pie,” she said with a laugh. “An I’m sorry cherry pie.”

I moaned. “That’s my favorite kind.”

“I know.”

Like my shower, I made record time with my breakfast. Two whole platefuls made its way into my stomach. And when I was done with that, we ate cherry pie fresh out of the oven. In a word, the morning was heaven.

After breakfast we retired to the couch, so full we could barely move. Possibly that was just me. We turned on the TV, but I’m not sure either of us were really watching it. I was more focused on the feel of Dani in my arms, her head on my chest, hand resting light against my stomach and drawing little patterns on my T-shirt.

I knew our happy cocoon was temporary, the conversation looming over the both of us threatening to disrupt the peace. But for that handful of moments, there wasn’t anything else but us—our heartbeats synchronized, no past, no future.

She twisted the hem of my T-shirt between her fingers. “I used to have that nightmare a lot. Some nights I barely slept at all.”

I held her a little closer to me. “But it stopped?”

“After a while.” She hesitated, hands going still. “After I forced myself to stop thinking about her.”

I tried to breathe carefully, worried that even the slightest movement might put an end to the answers I was getting. “Who was she?”

A sheen of tears appeared in her eyes. “The funny part is, that’s one of the only memories I have of her. Maybe I had more at one point, but I lost them when I couldn’t think about her anymore.” She shuddered as she sucked in a breath and exhaled. “The woman in my nightmare, the woman I had to force myself to forget is my mom.”

She’s dead. The echo of her words circled through my head, making the hair stand up on my arms. “She died.”

“No, she didn’t just die, Gavin.” She pushed away from me, sitting cross-legged on the cushion next to me. “She was murdered. I was there. I heard it. I saw her . . .” Her hands fisted, eyes squeezing shut.

I grappled with the information she was giving me. Trying desperately to put the whole picture together. “Is this why you’re always running? Does this have something to do with it?”

Her throat worked as she swallowed, and slowly she forced her fingers to uncurl. She rested her hands gently on her knees. “I can’t talk about that.”

“But—”

“I’ve already said too much. I shouldn’t have even told you that, but I thought you deserved some answers after what happened.” She shook her head. “It’s not safe for you to know. Do you get that? I’m not keeping secrets because I don’t want you to know. I’d give anything to just tell you everything. If you could fix it all, make it better, I would let you in a heartbeat.”

“Maybe I can.” I rested my fingers under her chin, pressing until she tilted her face up to look at me. “Maybe you’re just too close to the situation to see an answer that would be as plain as day to me.”

I expected her to refuse me flat out, but instead . . . she hesitated.

My pulse tripped. I stopped breathing. This was it. She was going to tell me everything, give me the chance to fix this for her. I didn’t move, not a muscle, trying not to startle her and ruin this breakthrough.

A second passed. Another.

Dani closed her eyes and opened her mouth and—

Bang, bang, bang.

Dani flinched and I cursed under my breath, ready to beat the ever-loving shit out of whoever was trying to break down my door. “Dani—”

“You should get the door.” She shook her head, like she was trying to shake the sense back into herself.

The moment was gone.

Bang, bang, bang.

“In a minute!” My strides ate up the apartment and I threw the door open. Of course. Ben, fucking Ben.

He glared at me. “You’re late.”

“I’m busy.”

His gaze darted around me, widened a bit when it landed on Dani. “Congratulations. The guys are all at the studio. Where you’re supposed to be.”

Right, the studio. We’d talked about it last night. I think. Everything after the drive home was a bit fuzzy. “You could’ve just called.”

“I did,” he countered. “Three times.”

Well, fuck me. “Give me a minute. I’ll meet you there.” I slammed the door in his face, not waiting for his reply. After what he just interrupted he was lucky that’s all I did. When I turned back around, Dani was hovering behind the couch, hands shoved deep in her pockets. “I guess you heard that?”

“Yup.”

“So, I’ve gotta go take care of that. I should only be a few hours, though. You want me to give you a ride home and then if you want we can pick this up again a little bit later?”

“Actually.” She quirked her head to the side. “Would you mind if I just hung out here until you got back?”

My mouth hung open a bit. I shut it. “Of course. Stay as long as you want.” I gestured around us. “Mi casa, su casa.” The distance between us disappeared as I stepped closer to her. She tilted her head back to hold eye contact. “So, you’ll still be here when I get back?” I rested my hands lightly on her arms.

“I’ll still be here.” Her arms wrapped around my waist.

If she said it, she meant it. Dani never said anything she didn’t mean wholeheartedly. “Good.” I brushed my nose against hers, and she rocked up onto her tiptoes so she could kiss me.

As her lips played over mine, fingernails digging into my back through my T-shirt, the taste of cherries on her tongue, the room around us slipped away. My hands crept up her neck, fingers slipping into her soft hair. A groan vibrated from her lips to mine and I took a step forward, then another, urging her toward the couch. I was already late, what was a few more minutes?

“Gav?” She pulled away so I had to drop my mouth to her throat. I didn’t mind. My teeth pricked the delicate skin and she gasped. “Don’t you have to go?”

“He can wait.” My hands crept underneath her shirt. Fuck, she felt so good. My sweatpants were doing absolutely nothing to disguise how hot I was for her.

“Gav—”

Bang, bang, bang.

I dropped my head back. “I am going to fucking kill him.”

Her forehead hit my chest.

“Are you laughing?”

She shook her head, her whole body quivering with suppressed laughter.

“I hate you both.” I took a step back and folded my hands behind my head. For Christ’s sake. “Grandma, car accidents, turtles,” I whispered under my breath. Even I had some limits, and walking around with a stiffy in front of the guys was definitely not one.

“Did you just say, ‘turtles’? What’s wrong with turtles?”

I narrowed my eyes at Dani. “They’re very unsexy creatures.”

“Gavin!” Bang, bang, bang.

I pointed a finger at Dani. “We’re finishing this later.”

She lifted an eyebrow, her eyes gleaming. “Count on it.”