Once we were back in Dublin and we’d dropped Nora home (she was going straight, she said, for a lie-down), I’d just put the kettle on when we heard Michael’s key in the door. What did one say to one’s husband who has fallen in love with a (slightly) younger and (definitely) perkier woman?
He came into the kitchen and stood there, grey with worry, his eyes red as though he’d been crying all night. There was no sign of Lucy.
‘Rosie?’ he said.
‘Yes?’
‘Are you still mad at me?’
‘Well I haven’t had much time to not get mad at you,’ she said. ‘So yes, I’m still mad at you.’
‘Cup of tea, Michael?’ I said. ‘We’ve just had such a long drive, I’m gasping. You?’
‘I can’t keep a thing down,’ he said. ‘Not even water. I had to sit next to a baby on the flight who cried the whole way from Charleroi. And I’ve got a splitting headache.’
‘Granny Nora’s got one of those,’ said Rosie, giving me a look.
‘Grown-ups really are not being the best role models lately to you, are they?’ I said to her, as Michael sat on a chair and massaged his temples. He did look pretty green. ‘You might be the only one among us who has behaved with dignity.’
‘You’re not doing too badly, Mum,’ she said quietly, and gave my arm a squeeze. We waited for Michael to refocus on the room. I noticed he wasn’t begging for forgiveness or following any of the usual errant spouse scripts. Even with his career in danger, he’d obviously decided that Lucy was for him.
‘I’m so sorry,’ he said, eventually. ‘Oh Tab, I didn’t mean this… any of this… it’s awful… I am just so sorry… oh Tab, I can’t believe I’ve done this… I didn’t think I’d ever be one of those... politicians…’
‘The sleazy kind?’ I suggested, helpfully.
‘Well…’ he spluttered, not wanting to accept sleaziness but knowing his moral standing was rocky. ‘I know how angry you must be…’
‘Michael, it’s…’
‘You’re probably fuming, wanting my guts for garters… you’ve probably got a little voodoo doll in a suit and you’re going to stick pins into it…’
‘Michael…’
He was examining my face. ‘You look dreadful, so upset,’ he insisted. ‘It must have come as a terrible shock…’
‘I’m absolutely…’
‘Furious? Devastated? So you should be! What a thing to discover. Your husband having an affair with his secretary. Oh, Tabitha, I am so ashamed, so appalled, so horrified, to have put you through this. To have hurt you and Rosie so badly, to have destroyed your lives like this…’
‘Hold on a moment…’ I said. ‘Michael…’
‘You’ll forever be known as Michael Fogarty’s wronged wife. I can’t believe I have done this to you, Tabitha, it was so selfish of me. How will you ever get over it? And my constituents! They will be devastated. I’ll lose my seat, for sure.’ His eyes were almost gleaming at the thought of his great fall. ‘It’s just that when you fall in love, passion gets in the way of everything. People get hurt. But… but sometimes, that’s the way it has to be.’
I’d heard enough. ‘Michael, please. Just listen. It’s fine. Believe me.’ I nodded, smiling, encouragingly. ‘I’m really pleased for you. Really pleased. I can’t talk for how Rosie feels about the matter, but for me, I can see that you and Lucy are meant for each other. I mean, she’s such a marvel. And your constituents will get over it. They’ll just go and vote for someone else. We’ll all be fine.’
‘What?’ He looked shocked and almost disappointed I was taking it so well. ‘Are you sure you’re okay?’ He looked at me sceptically, puzzled that I had taken his one chance to be a blackguard away from him. ‘Rosie?’ he said, the colour now fully drained from his face.
‘I’ll get over it,’ she said.
‘I just… we couldn’t help…’
‘Falling in love?’ I prompted.
He nodded miserably.
‘Michael, we can talk about this in detail another time but we need to get divorced and you need to move out as soon as possible. Now, in fact. And you and Lucy have my full and complete blessing as long as you do this as swiftly and painlessly as possible. For all our sakes.’
‘Do I have your blessing as well, Rosie?’
She nodded. ‘It kind of puts my messing up my Leaving Cert in the shade, so I’m not so disappointed. It’s nice when your parents behave worse than you do.’
He gave her an agonised, tortured smile as though he had no idea if she was joking or not. She wasn’t.
‘Where is Lucy by the way?’ I said.
‘Outside. Waiting.’
‘You’d better bring her in.’
*
When he returned with Lucy, she grabbed my hand, her eyes full of tears. They’d obviously both had a good sob about my awful plight on the journey home. ‘I’m so sorry, Tabitha,’ she said. ‘I’m so sorry.’
‘Lucy, it’s fine,’ I said briskly. ‘Can we all stop saying sorry and be grown-up about this?’
‘Yes, yes,’ she said, sniffling and coughing ‘I’m sorry… I mean…’
‘Have you seen the headlines?’ Michael said, taking a pile of newspapers from Lucy and putting them on the kitchen table. Finally, he had achieved one of the great tenets of being a politician – a sex scandal. Maybe even conventional people like Michael craved being at the centre of a drama sometimes. We’re all human, we all need attention at times, I supposed. And you don’t go into politics not to be noticed. And Michael had finally done it, nationwide notoriety. This was political gold. ‘I’m notorious… I’ll never be known for anything else.’ He looked pretty pleased with himself, the rosy pinkness back in his cheeks.
‘What’s your mother going to say?’
The colour drained out of him again. ‘Mammy… oh God.’
‘We’ll tell her together, Michael,’ said Lucy, back to her marvellous self and taking charge, brilliantly, as she always did. ‘She’ll come round.’ She smiled him a smile full of love and admiration and can-do while he looked at her with gratitude and I was reminded once more why they were so well suited. I had never looked at him like that. Ever.
‘There’s something else,’ he said. ‘Bigger than everything… this you won’t be so happy about. It’s something of a bombshell.’
‘What now?’ I imagined the worst. ‘You’ve embezzled money? You’re on the run?’
‘Out with it, Dad,’ said Rosie.
Lucy went over and took his hand.
‘We’re pregnant,’ he said. ‘Well, Lucy is. We only found out this week… and…’
‘We’re going to have a baby,’ joined in Lucy. ‘Tabitha… I’m sorry… we’re really sorry…’
I held up my hand. ‘Enough. Right… a baby,’ I stalled.
‘A baby!’ said Rosie, looking shocked.
‘You’re going to be a big sister,’ said Michael.
‘I hope you’re pleased for us,’ said Lucy. ‘It’s all been such a rush and I am sure there were far better ways of announcing things.’
‘Better out than in,’ said Michael.
‘Rosie?’ I said. ‘What do you think?’
She shrugged. ‘I’m not sure,’ she said, truthfully. ‘I feel like we’re on a twenty four hour news channel and everything is moving so fast. But I could get used to it,’ she said. ‘It might be nice. A little brother or sister. Someone who might actually get to Trinity.’ She gave Michael a look.
‘Well, it’s a little soon for that, but perhaps, you never know, it wouldn’t be too far from the realm of possibility.’ Now he looked quite delighted with himself.
‘Lucy, you sit down here and I’ll make you some tea. You’ve been travelling all morning. There’s a biscuit here somewhere. Or you can have some of Clodagh’s Baileys,’ I joked. ‘She keeps a bottle here for medicinal purposes.’
‘Just the tea,’ said Lucy. ‘I think I’ll be off the drink for a while.’
My phone beeped while I was digging out the mugs and the milk. It was Red.
Are you home?
I quickly texted back.
Yes. Would you like to come round?
‘My headache’s gone, Mammy,’ said Michael.
‘Has it?’ I said, automatically, just as Lucy said, ‘That’s good news, Michael.’
And then I realised that I was released by the horror of being called Mammy by someone who wasn’t my child. Every cloud…
*
The ring of the doorbell, gave me an excuse to leave the kitchen for a moment. Would Red have come so soon? Would he mind walking into a family drama? It was Red. We stood there for a moment, smiling.
What a sight for sore eyes. Red looking beyond handsome, hair pushed to one side, his sleeves rolled up. For a moment, I didn’t move, didn’t know what to say. I was just so pleased and relieved to see him and wanted to put my arms around him and take a moment to remember what he felt like, to feel the heat of his body.
We stood there, looking at each other.
‘Welcome to the house of fun,’ I said.
He laughed. ‘Shall I go and leave you all to it?’
‘No. No, don’t go. It feels right, somehow.’
‘Listen,’ he said, eventually. ‘I just wanted to say, I’m still your friend. Always was, always will be. And I’m sorry for acting like a drama queen.’
‘Drama king,’ I corrected him.
‘Drama king. How’s Rosie?’
‘A little bit dazed,’ I said. ‘But not doing too badly. Taking it in her stride.’
‘And you? Are you okay?’
I nodded. ‘Never better. It’s like everything is the way it should be. Michael with Lucy. I’m glad for them. And they’re here,’ I nodded to the kitchen. ‘They are in the kitchen with Rosie.’
‘And you’re not angry with him?’
I shook my head. ‘Not at all. I don’t even think I should be,’ I said. ‘I’m almost excited. Life just got interesting again.’
He smiled at me. ‘And there was I thinking that I could swing in, my sword out and beat up paparazzi… or husbands…’
‘I didn’t know you were into physical violence,’ I said. ‘I thought you were a pacifist. I can see I’m going to have to change my good opinion of you.’
‘Well, when I say beating up, I mean a bit of teeth baring or even a shaken fist.’ He looked at me, one eyebrow raised, an amused expression on his face.
I love you Red Power, I thought, a huge smile spread on my face.
Behind me, in the hall, Rosie ran upstairs. ‘Hi Red,’ she said. And she gave me a special smile of encouragement and support, a quick nod, which gave me a lump in my throat. ‘Everything all right?’ I said to her.
‘It can’t get any worse,’ she said. ‘I’m going with the flow. Nobody’s died.’ She grinned. ‘Yet. I’m going upstairs to phone Alice.’
‘You know something, Red,’ I said, refocussing, once I heard Rosie’s bedroom door close. ‘I’m quite impressed. I didn’t think Michael had it in him. Adultery! And I thought he was a man who thought a sex scandal was only if you removed your vest and socks during sex.’
Red laughed.
‘I’m…’ How was I feeling? ‘I’m actually delighted.’ Yes that was it. Delighted and happy. Giddy with new possibilities and new adventures to be had. Rosie was going to be all right, I knew that. I’d be there for her with everything she needed and now Michael, God bless him, had fallen in love with Lucy, it meant there was nothing stopping me. I had been determined to stay in the marriage for the simple reason that I wanted my daughter to have a mother and a father in the same house. I’d been wrong, it wasn’t any good having a mother and father who didn’t love each other, who weren’t even a team.
But somehow, now, life stretched out like a glittering and exciting carpet. Or like the ‘Billie Jean’ floor in the Michael Jackson video. Enticing and exciting. ‘And Lucy’s pregnant.’ And then I realised it wasn’t all going to be plain sailing, that I couldn’t afford to be giddy and excited. I still had to tell Red about my baby. Our baby.
‘Good grief.’
I could do with a hug, I thought, as I stood to one side to let him go past me, his jacket brushing my hand. I could do with the biggest hug of my life. From you. I’d hold on and never let go.
I pulled him by the arm, feeling his muscles beneath his shirt, into the kitchen. We bumped up against each other and there was a lightness, a giggling quality, a slight hysteria was infecting us.
‘I hope you don’t mind, Mrs… Tabitha,’ said Lucy when we went into the kitchen, ‘but I made the tea. I haven’t had a decent one for two days. One thing I don’t like about Brussels. The water. You can bring your tea bags but it’s not the same.’.’
‘Michael, you remember Redmond Power.’
‘Ah yes,’ he said, holding out his hand. ‘Tabitha’s old friend.’
‘That’s right,’ said Red. ‘I hope you don’t mind me calling at this time…’
‘Time of what?’ said Michael. ‘Time of me being a national laughing stock?’
‘No!’ said Lucy suddenly and passionately. ‘You’re not a laughing stock. You’re still the same Michael Fogarty you ever were: upstanding, proud and principled. That’s the Michael Fogarty you were, the Michael Fogarty you are and the Michael Fogarty you will be.’ She looked quite hot around the collar. Everyone needed a Lucy on their team. Finally, Michael had the life partner he deserved.
I glanced at Red and he widened his eyes at this impassioned speech and I felt like I might laugh, from happiness, hysteria or knowing that Red ‘got me’, understood me.
‘Lucy, this is Red… a friend of mine… And Red, this is Michael’s…’ Lucy’s smile was rictus. ‘Michael’s girlfriend and mother of his unborn child.’ I turned to Lucy. ‘Is that all right?’
‘Yes…’ She hesitated. ‘I think so. Well, it’s factually correct, I suppose, but rather bald when you say it out loud.’
‘Good to meet you,’ said Red, shaking her hand. ‘I recognised you from the newspaper.’
‘Oh stop,’ said Lucy, blushing. ‘I’m am mortified. Mammy is furious. She says she can’t face Mass today because of all the talk. Expecting… when I’m not married!’
Michael patted her on the shoulder, a look of resignation on his face as he realised his hours and hours of lovely sleep were about to be cut short.
‘Everything’s going to be all right, you just take care of yourself and that baby. Now,’ I said, ‘where are those Jaffa Cakes? Jaffa Cake, Red?’
‘Tea, everyone?’ said Lucy. ‘Michael?’
‘Would you make mine black?’ he said. ‘I think I’ve gone off milk.’
And while Lucy and Michael were whispering together, Red held out his hand and touched mine and my smile turned into a goofy, giddy grin. Red, meanwhile, was looking as goofy and giddy as me. This is how it used to feel, I remembered, this is how we used to be.
‘Well,’ said Michael, ‘we’re going to hit the road. We’re going to stay in the flat in town. I’m going to take Rosie out for pizza tonight and we can talk about everything.’
Michael hung back a little when I saw him and Lucy off at the front door. This was my husband leaving me. Shouldn’t it be more dramatic, a bit more EastEnders? Shouldn’t I be crying? Or at least hitting the vodka? Or him?
‘Thank you,’ said Michael. ‘Thanks for being so good about things… about everything.’
‘It’s all right,’ I said. ‘We’re all human. Anyway, it’s something of a relief, to be honest. We were never right for each other.’
‘Well, thank you for trying, anyway,’ he said.
‘We both tried,’ I said. ‘We did it for Rosie.’
‘A most noble cause,’ he said and reached towards me and hugged me awkwardly and stiffly. We hadn’t actually had such close physical contact in years, not since the last by-election and he was so overexcited he hugged all of us standing there at two a.m. I thought I was going to drop with tiredness, but he and Lucy were on cloud nine. Thinking back, I should have twigged something was up when he hugged all of us but not her. It was the classic putting people off the scent trick, but I was too tired that night to see it.
‘Goodbye Michael, and good luck with your Standards In Pubic Lice thing,’ I said. ‘I mean public life!’
‘I think that’s over,’ he said, sadly, looking not unlike a wounded lion, ‘along with my career. And the milk scheme will never be a runner now. I was so sure they would be ground-breaking. They were going to make my name in Europe.’
‘Well,’ I said, ‘you’ll be known for adultery rather than public lice and milk. I think that is far more rock and roll, don’t you?’
‘Typical Tabitha answer,’ he said. ‘Everything amuses you.’
‘Michael, I am not amused. Not particularly. But it’s better to find humour in a situation like this, don’t you think?’
‘I suppose,’ he said gloomily.
‘Something tells me you’ll be fine,’ I said. ‘When are you going to talk to your mother?’
‘She’s already called me. Several times. And on Lucy’s phone. I’ll call her. But all courage seems to have left me on that front. If she comes here, tell her I’ve escaped to Darkest Peru. Or Outer Mongolia. Well then…’ He bounced on his feet again, from awkwardness or desire to get on with his new life, I couldn’t tell. ‘Thank you, Tabitha,’ he said, ‘you’ve been ridiculously understanding.’
‘And you, Michael, have been ridiculous!’ I said, but he didn’t hear me as he was already jogging away.
‘Coming, Mammy!’ he called to Lucy. ‘I’m coming!’ And Lucy, standing by the ministerial car (Terry sitting in the driver’s seat, eyes studiedly front), looked as if she didn’t mind her new role at all. In fact, she was glowing with happiness.
I’d hardly had chance to close the door when the doorbell rang again; it was Celia looking more than her usual uptight self.
‘Where is he?’ she said. ‘And where is that homewrecker?’
‘They’ve just this minute left,’ I said, feeling a surge of irritation that Michael was on the run from his mother and had left me to deal with her.
‘They’ve? You mean, Michael and… Lucy?’
I nodded.
‘And you let them go?’
‘Well, I have no choice.’
‘Typical of you, Tabitha,’ she said. ‘You wouldn’t fight a wet paper bag. Never mind your marriage, your reputation. You’re happy, are you? Your husband swanning about with a young one, a girl half his age…’
‘She’s only ten years younger…’
‘How am I going to live this down? The shame! Michael Senior, now he had a roving eye but it was never talked about. Never. That’s what men do. Boys will be boys. But to get into the papers. I mean, this is a new low.’ She looked as though she was going to collapse. Her voice wobbled as though she was about to cry. ‘I don’t know what to do.’
‘Celia, come in. I’ll make some tea.’
In the kitchen, Red was leaning against the work surface, drinking his tea.
‘Celia, this is Red, a friend of mine. Red, this is Celia, my… mother-in-law.’
‘Pleased to… whatever,’ she said, the tragedy of her son, the adulterer, making her forget her manners. Something she would never have countenanced before.
‘Listen, I’m going to go,’ said Red. ‘Leave you to it.’
‘No you can stay,’ said Celia, ‘whoever you are. It’s all common knowledge anyway. I am beyond caring. You may as well know everything. The whole world knows. We have no secrets, it seems. Out dirty washing hung on the line for everyone to inspect. Where’s Rosie? I hope to God and all the saints she has been spared this shame. Though how we can keep it from her for much longer, I really don’t know.’
‘Celia, she knows. It was in the papers.’
‘In my day, children did not know anything that went on in the lives of their elders. My own mother never, ever mentioned anything which was not suitable for small ears. It wasn’t until I was married myself did she tell me about her health issues… down there. And my father, he was a rogue – aren’t they all – but I heard not a dickie bird until he was long gone.’ She sighed. ‘How is she taking it?’
‘In her stride, so far,’ I said. ‘We’re all taking it in. But, Celia, I think that there is little we can do about it except wish them well.’
She looked at me as if I was from outer space. ‘Wish them well? Wish them well? What on earth for. Maybe you should hold a party and make a cake. Or move out of the house into the shed in the garden and let them have everything, why not? Let that little minx take everything! When I think of how nice I was to that girl. I thought she was good for Michael, someone he could trust and rely on. I had no idea she was feathering her nest, ready to pounce, the little magpie.’
She fell into the chair at the table and put her head in her hands. ‘Imelda took great delight in showing me the article. The headline… oh…’ She shuddered. ‘I could see it in her eyes. Delight, ecstasy, pure pleasure! At my downfall. She’s been waiting for this for years, she has. Since we were in school. She’s always been jealous of me, just because I was good at spelling and had a long neck and a nice nose. And then when I married Michael Fogarty – senior – and she was stuck with Frank. Fat Frank we called him, secretly – her jealousy took hold. And now I am the mother of –’she coughed twice delicately, ‘ahem-ahem Foggy.’
‘Celia…’ I stood there helplessly. ‘You should talk to Michael, not me.’
‘Oh, don’t you worry,’ she said. ‘Don’t you worry. I shall be doing more than talking to him, I can tell you. I shall be giving him a piece of my mind.’
Rosie came downstairs. ‘I’m going out, Mum,’ she said. ‘Oh hello, Granny. I just want to go and see Alice… see how she’s getting on.’
‘Rosie,’ said Celia. ‘You shouldn’t be visiting friends. You should be revising.’
‘I’m not doing them,’ she said. ‘Not this year anyway.’
Celia looked as though she had vomited in her own mouth.
Rosie blundered on. ‘I’m taking a year to reassess…’ she said, speeding up, as Celia’s face was a picture of someone witnessing untold horrors. ‘I’m going to reapply to another college. Do something with English.’
‘Not. Doing. Your. Exams? Not. Going. To. Trinity!’ Celia’s wild eyes swivelled to me. ‘What is going on? Somebody FOR GOD’S SAKE tell me what’s going on!’ She focussed on Red, who was leaning inconspicuously on the edge of the kitchen counter. ‘Can you tell me?’ she charged at him. ‘Do you know anything? Because it seems I am the last to know!’
Red shook his head.
But then she turned to me. ‘And you’re happy, are you, Tabitha?’ she accused. ‘You’re happy about this? I might have known you’d scupper her chances, ruin her future.’
‘Granny, please…’ Rosie was on the verge of tears.
‘Celia, it’s all going to be fine,’ I tried to explain. ‘This year’s been really tough on Rosie and she’s seeing a counsellor to deal with anxiety… there was no way she could do the Leaving Cert.’
‘No way she could do the Leaving Cert?’ Celia repeated, utterly incredulous, looking as though she had swallowed a wasp. She began making weird throat-clearing sounds.
‘Anyway,’ went on Rosie, ‘everything’ll be lovely once the baby’s born.’
‘A baby? You’re not… don’t tell me that… surely you’re not… you can’t be…’ Celia was white with shock.
‘Not me, Granny. Dad and Lucy!’
Celia looked ready to faint. Her hand rattled her cup. ‘Baby?’ Her voice had dropped to a hoarse whisper. ‘A baby.’
Time for the medicinal Baileys, I thought but then my phone rang.
‘If it’s Michael, tell him his mother wants a word,’ warned Celia.
‘It’s not, it’s Mary. I have to take this.’
‘Tabitha.’ Mary was crying. ‘Tabitha. I’m in customs in Dublin airport and they won’t let me through. I had my purse stolen in Dubai and I’ve lost my passport and everything. I’m so sorry to bother you, I know you’ve got enough on your plate because Mammy rang me about Lucy. She’s mortified. Are you all right?’
‘Don’t mind me,’ I said.
‘I tried to call Red,’ she went on, ‘but there was no answer.’
‘You were in Dubai?’
‘Stopover. We were only there for three hours and I just wasn’t paying attention. I was so caught up with…’ She began to sob now. ‘You’ve probably got enough to do but if you could get a message to Red, he might be able to come.’
‘He’s here with me actually,’ I said. ‘But what do you need me to do?’
‘Would you mind going to my house. Key’s under the geranium pot on the window beside the door. There’s a copy of my passport in the filing cabinet in my office upstairs. Top door, marked Personal. They said they would accept a copy for now and then at least… at least we can go home. It’s been such a long and exhausting week and we just need to sleep.’
We?
When I put down the phone, I turned to Red, ‘we have to go to the airport,’ I said. ‘Mary’s lost her passport. She said she tried to call you.’
He held up his phone. ‘On silent. Sorry. The poor woman.’
‘Do you know what’s going on?’ I said.
‘I might do but I think it would be better if it came from her. Shall we go?’
‘You’re coming?’
‘Try and stop me. Where you go, I go.’
‘You’ll find out,’ he said. ‘I’m coming with you.’
‘That’s a relief,’ I said. ‘I wasn’t sure how to make you come otherwise.’
And after I had poured Celia another Baileys and left her sitting on the sofa, her feet up, ready for a little sleep, he took my hand and we ran out to his car.
‘I had no idea your life was so exciting,’ he said.
‘It hasn’t been for decades,’ I said. ‘I don’t know what’s going on.’