Chapter Twenty-Three
Elliot
“Fuck.” I run my fingers through my hair, tugging at the roots. If I read the situation right, and I’m pretty damn good at reading situations, Madison told Auggie about us. I don’t know exactly what she shared, but I need to find out.
Madison enters my office with a sheepish expression on her face.
“Could you close the door, but open the curtains, please?”
“Sure.”
I watch her, the graceful way she carries herself, the small steps she always takes like she’s never in a hurry. Although with four-inch heels it’s hard to walk fast. Fuck. What was I thinking fucking her here at work? Fucking her at all. I knew she was off-limits. Knew I had to quit imagining the two of us together, but she makes me forget myself. I lose track of time when I’m with her. I lose my mind thinking about being with her. Inside her.
At this very moment, my cock is twitching for more, the greedy pecker not listening to a goddamn thing my mind is telling it.
When Madison’s eyes meet mine, though, it’s much more than a physical response. It’s visceral and that throws me even more off-balance.
“I’m sorry,” she says, sitting across the desk from me.
Suspicion confirmed.
“Auggie caught me off guard right after I sat down at my desk. She asked what was with our secret meeting and when I didn’t answer right away, she could tell by my face what kind of meeting it was. I was flustered and nervous and she’s my friend, so I spilled everything. I shouldn’t have, I know, but—”
“Slow down, Mads.”
She lets out a breath, her soft pink lips parting.
“You told her everything?” I ask, doing my best to stay calm when I feel anything but.
“Without going into detail, yes.” Her gaze moves over my shoulder and I wonder if it’s because she doesn’t want to look me in the eyes, or if she’s remembering what we did against the window twenty minutes ago.
I’m a moron. Every time I look outside I’m going to see Madison coming all over my cock, not the ocean in the distance.
“What were you thinking?” I ask, no longer even-tempered.
“Obviously I wasn’t.”
“Obviously.”
She flinches. “You don’t have to worry about Auggie. We can trust her.”
“We?” My anger is rising and I don’t like myself for it, but I’m pissed at her for sharing our secret. Rational or not, she had no right to compromise my status at ZipMeds like this. “There is no we in this case. I don’t know Auggie that well and she’s my boss’s assistant. What if she says something without thinking? James is smart as hell and can read between the lines. This could cost us our jobs.”
“She won’t.” It’s a delicate whisper, filled with regret.
“You don’t know that,” I say with less annoyance. She may have told Auggie about us, but I put her in the position of having something to tell. This is just as much my fault. The only difference is I know how to keep my mouth shut.
“I’m sorry,” she says again.
Elbow on my desk, I drop my head and rub two fingers across my forehead. This is my dream job and I can’t lose it. I can’t lose respect, either. “I know you are, but you’ve put me in a really bad position. I’m glad you think you can trust Auggie, but there’s more than trust involved. Do you think she’ll look at me the same way now? I don’t. And that fucking sucks.”
“I’m sure—”
“You can’t be sure about anything, Madison. You’ve worked for a high-level company for all of what? Seven, eight weeks? You know nothing about the cutthroat world of business. There are a hundred finance guys waiting to take my place if I get let go.”
Apology, remorse, innocence, all play across her face. “What do you want me to do?”
“You don’t need to do anything. Ultimately, this is on me, and I’ll think of a way to fix it. In the meantime, we should keep our distance.”
“Okay. Is that all?”
“Yes.”
She hurries out of my office without another word. Her feelings are hurt, and I feel like shit for it, but I’ve got two and a half years of experience over her. I’m sick to my stomach thinking about how to put this to rights—because at the top of that list is firing her.
Hear me out.
I think I’m in love with her.
And if it’s Madison in my personal life or Madison in my work life, I choose personal. I can find another assistant, albeit he or she will suck in comparison, but I won’t find anyone else I want to be my girlfriend.
There’s a catch, of course. She loves this job and I have no idea if she’ll forgive me if I fire her. She’s the one losing something, while I get to keep everything. I squeeze the back of my neck. Fuuuck.
Am I a total asshole for even thinking this way? Yes, which is why I have to give Madison the choice—the job or me. Because I can’t in good conscience continue to break office policy. The guilt is eating at me.
My phone dings with a text. It’s Michaela. She’s flying into town tonight for a friend’s wedding this weekend and do I want to meet up for a drink tomorrow night? Yes, I want to meet her. She’s a corporate HR wiz and maybe she can help me sort out my situation with Madison. Michaela won’t be happy I don’t want to fuck her ever again, but I’d like to think we’re friends despite the occasional hookup.
We text back and forth and set a time for seven o’clock at Donahue’s.
I set my phone down a moment before James walks into my office. “Got a minute?” he asks, closing the door behind him.
“Sure.” It’s not like I can say “I don’t.” But given what’s transpired this morning, his presence is a little nerve-racking.
He takes the chair Madison always sits in. “I just got off the phone with Alan Reitkerk and he’s thrilled with the new strategy we’re taking and happy to help us work on the big picture,” James says.
“That’s great.” Alan is one of our biggest investors.
“In light of that, let’s make sure we discuss product vision this afternoon with Drake.”
“Will do.”
“If I haven’t told you lately, I really appreciate your hard work and forward thinking. I’m not sure Drake or I would see the company’s metrics as comprehensively as you do. Which makes our humanitarian efforts that much more worthwhile.”
This is the kind of praise that feeds my soul and makes me beyond grateful to be in the position I’m in. “That’s nice to hear. Thank you.”
“I need to bring something else up.” He pauses but continues to meet my gaze head-on. “I’m not sure you’re aware that we videotaped a large percentage of the company retreat.”
“I wasn’t.” Fuck. I quickly run through my interactions with Madison, trying to think if there’s anything inappropriate besides the fact that I probably look at her inappropriately every ten seconds.
“I thought it would be fun to put together a recap and show it to the staff. I watched it yesterday.” Another pause. I don’t normally sweat through my shirt, but this morning might be a first. “I couldn’t help but notice you and Madison look very fond of each other.”
“We are.” There’s no sense in arguing what he’s seen with his own two eyes. “She’s a great assistant and we work well together.”
“I have to ask if I should be concerned?”
Shit. Shit. Shit. “What do you mean?” I know exactly what he means, but I’m not ready for this conversation.
“It means I know you’re both attractive, single twentysomethings who spend a lot of hours together, which leaves little time for outside relationships.”
“True.” It’s my turn to pause. I’m formulating how to continue when my phone chimes with another text. It sits closer to James than me and he glances down at it before I pick it up. It’s Michaela again and she’s texted in emoji only—eggplant, lips, and a wink.
A few months ago my dick would have stirred at the obvious innuendo, but not anymore. Only one girl has power over me below the belt now.
James grins. “Who’s Michaela?”
And just like that my immediate problem is solved. “She’s a girl I’ve seen a few times. She works in HR for Goldman and likes to get together whenever she’s in town.”
“I take it she’s visiting soon?”
“This weekend, actually. Unrelated to work, though. She’s got a friend’s wedding to go to.”
“You’re her plus-one?” James has never inquired into my private life this much before, no doubt set off by the video from the retreat.
“No. We’re meeting for drinks tomorrow night.”
He rubs underneath his chin. “She’s based in New York?”
“Yes.”
“If it isn’t too big an imposition, think I could join you? My younger sister recently moved to Manhattan and is looking for a new job. Maybe I can put the two of them in touch.”
“Uh, yeah. That’s fine.”
“I won’t stay too long. You’ll have plenty of time to take her up on her offer.”
I frown in confusion. “Her offer?”
“The text?”
“Oh, right. Thanks.” I force a smile. I think I’ve just made my life even more difficult.
He stands. “I’ll see you in the conference room for lunch.”
“Okay. And about Madison…” I feel like I have to give him something, so I tell him we’ve known each other for years through mutual friends and that’s probably why we look at each other differently. I apologize for keeping that fact to myself, but I didn’t think it pertinent since it was a temp agency that sent Madison and we weren’t close friends.
“Got it,” he says and leaves my office.
I look through the glass wall toward Madison’s desk. She turns her head, makes quick eye contact, then scoots her chair closer to her desk and gets back to work. I follow suit, clicking on my email.
For the rest of the day it’s business as usual except for one stomach-aching fact. The tension between us is so thick, it’s like we’re strangers.