THIRTY-FIVE
For the second time is as many months I sit in the waiting room of the hospital, only this time I’m not alone.
I couldn’t be more appreciative of the fact as I am now.
Briar stretches out against me, my legs propped up on the seat opposite to give him a makeshift bed. I refused to ride in the ambulance with Evan in case the ordeal scarred Briar, so we were offered a lift with another officer if we wanted to wait.
As if I was going to wait.
When the attending officers realised I meant business, they helped me push the useless Jeep out of the way as the ambulance pulled out of my complex. I bundled Briar in the back of my graffitied car as they drove Tristan away in theirs, and we sped through the streets like a bat out of hell to get to the hospital as quick as my heavy car would allow.
Unlike the wait with Kath, we’ve barely been here an hour when a doctor wearing scrubs walks through the doors that separate the visitors from the patients. He takes one look at us and stops walking, running a hand over his head.
I swallow hard and hold Briar a little tighter.
“Miss Harris?”
“Yes?”
“I understand you’re the immediate contact until his family can be reached?”
Fuck déjà vu.
Fuck feeling as though I’m riding a sick merry-go-round that’s brought me back to the start of this shit.
Fuck life.
“I am.”
“There were some complications …”
No more. I tune out, wrapping my arms tighter around Briar, who stares at the doctor with a level of understanding I don’t think I’ll ever have.
Fuck life. Fuck Tristan.
Fuck every shitty decision I’ve made that’s led to this.
“Aunty?”
“Hmm?” My chin dimples, but for some reason I can’t cry. The tears just aren’t there anymore. All I have is nothing. A gaping void of nothing.
“Did you hear what the doctor said?”
Shit, kid. “No, buddy,” I say, my voice breaking. “I didn’t.” I can’t.
“He said we can go see Officer Evan now.”
“Huh?” I look between Briar, who’s leant away from me so he can see my face, and the doctor.
I can’t handle this right now; his lifeless body, the heartache, the injustice of it. I’m not sure if I can ever see him like that.
“He asked if you were here,” the doctor says, his hands clasped before him.
“Who did?”
“Evan.” His eyes narrow as though he’s seriously concerned about my state of mental health.
I don’t blame him—I’m convinced I’ve lost the plot.
“He’s okay?”
“That’s what I said,” he presses gently. “There were some complications, but he’s stable.”
Well, shit. Sign me up then. “What room is he in?” I ask as I stand, setting Briar down on his feet beside me.
“No room, yet; we’re waiting for confirmation which one is free. But he’s right through here.”
The doctor waits for me to gather my coat, and then guides us through the sealed doors to the rows of beds in the ER. I pass by concerned parents over their sick child, an elderly couple smiling at one another as they talk, and a lonely guy staring solemnly at the ceiling, before we pass the curtain that cements my hopes and wishes.
Evan’s okay. Well, as okay as you can be for having a knife stabbed straight into your abdomen. But he’s alive, and that’s all that counts.
“Babe …” He smiles, turning his hand that contains the IV line over so his palm faces up.
I take it in mine, running my thumb up the side of his hand as Briar gets comfy on the single chair beside his bed. “I honestly thought …” The tears choke my words, forcing them back down into my throat.
“Can’t get rid of me that easy.”
The doctor clears his throat, moving to the opposite side of the bed from me. “As soon as we have a bed free to transfer you to, Mr North, I’ll be back to let you know. Until then, the nurses will come in and check on you periodically. If you have any concerns, please use the call button.” His compassionate gaze drifts to me. “Miss Harris.” With a curt nod, he’s gone.
“What did they say?” I ask Evan, as soon as the curtain falls closed behind him.
He coughs, clearing his throat, and I reach for the plastic cup of water with the straw protruding from it. Evan drinks slowly, and then rests his head back as he simply stares at me, and then Briar.
“I’m so glad you’re both okay.”
“Shouldn’t I be telling you that?” I ask with a gentle laugh.
He hums a little, his eyes so bright despite how pale his skin is, how dark the circles under his eyes. He looks like complete and utter hell, and yet, he’s the happiest I’ve ever seen him.
“How are you, Briar?” Evan asks, his eyes drifting closed.
He swings his legs on the seat, eyeing the machines beside the bed. “Okay.”
Evan rolls his head toward him, opening his eyes. “I’m sorry I scared you.”
I bite my tongue, refraining from reminding Evan it wasn’t him that scared us, it was Briar’s arsehole father.
“I didn’t want you to die,” Briar whispers, fighting tears.
“I didn’t either,” Evan answers, “which is why I’m here. Too proud to give in and too stubborn to miss out on anything.” He reaches out and manages to tap Briar on the shoulder. “Everything’s okay now.”
My heart fills watching the way Briar eyes him with nothing short of utter and complete trust. He believes what Evan said, and in a way, I do too. Everything is okay now. The police already informed me when we first arrived that Tristan will remain in custody until he’s charged, and with his priors, he won’t be coming out for a hell of a long time.
He tried to kill a police officer, off duty or not. You don’t talk your way out of that very easily. Especially with three reliable witnesses.
I give Evan’s hand a squeeze, and then lean down to press a light kiss to his cheek as he sighs. “I love you.” I feel my cheeks heat, still finding it awkward to voice the words out loud. But damn it if I’m losing another minute without him knowing exactly what he means to me.
“I love you too, Mimi. But you know that.”
He couldn’t have proved it more if he tried. He literally laid his life on the line for me—for us.
“Yeah, I do.”
“Always did,” he says with a sigh.
“Always will,” I finish as Briar scoots to my side, resting his head against my arm.
This is how it’s supposed to be. How it was always meant to be.
Evan, standing by me, supporting me, while I achieved things I never thought I would be capable of.
I’ve been through hell, endured things that would have broken some people, and yet, I appreciate every ounce of pain and suffering that I lived through because those are the things that shape you as a human, that give you perspective, compassion, and empathy.
Those are the things that make me who I am today.
And this girl? She couldn’t imagine life any other way.