I woke up the next morning and spent the next couple of hours going over my lines for the second episode of Hot Law. The writers had finished the script late last night, and Antoni had them fax it to the hotel where I was staying, attaching a note that it was important for me to be prepared with my meeting for Lawrence Owens. He noted that the fact that they sent me the script for the second episode was a good sign. If they had decided to go with another actor for the lead after watching my pilot, they wouldn’t have bothered to send another script. Even so, my mind kept wandering back to Ben’s kiss. It was clearly a moment of wine and grief coming together for both of us, but for some reason, I couldn’t stop thinking about the feeling of his stubble rough against my face. His lips were dry but strong, almost forceful. Butterflies shot through my stomach the whole ride back to the hotel thinking about it. This was weird, because, usually I didn’t think about it, as an actor I was an expert at compartmentalizing expressions of physical intimacy (it’s the only way you can make out with someone for sixteen takes in a row.) But Ben was, different, I wanted to ask him how he was doing this morning. I wanted to kiss him again.

This morning, I kept obsessively checking my phone to see if Ben had texted me, I felt like a middle schooler. My phone finally buzzed, but it was just my sister asking when she would get to meet Ross. She’d told mom about it, let it slip during dinner last night, and now my mom was demanding to meet him … just as I had feared. Hell hath no fury like my mom unable to be a Grandmother.

I texted her back quickly. “Sure, let me see if Ben wants me to take him tonight,” obviously neglecting to mention the kiss. My sister was a gossip.

I texted Ben, it took me several drafts until I settled on a tone that I considered to be both nonchalant and agreeable. “Hey, is it cool if I take Ross tonight so he can meet my mom and sister? I told Julie about Ross and she let it slip to my mom and now she can’t stop talking about how she wants to meet him, it would make her day.”

Ben texted back quickly. “Sure, I’m actually at the job site with him right now. You can come join us if you want, meet the crew.”

I wondered what a ‘job site’ entailed, probably a lot of nails and hammers and other objects that weren’t safe for a three-year-old to be around. “I’ll be there in twenty … is that safe?”

“For you? I’ll get you a hard hat. And, Ross is perfectly fine he’s not scaling walls or anything.” I rolled my eyes and hopped into my rental car.

I drove up to the job site and parked behind Ben’s truck. It was a sweltering day, and guys were sweating while they were carrying large planks of wood and hammering siding into the house.

“Lift on three, 1, 2, 3,” Ben instructed while a man lifted a tall beam upright, and began to hammer it into the framework. Ben took off his hard hat and raked his hand through his sweaty hair. His biceps were taut and glistening, his white T-shirt clung to his body in all of the right places, I could see the outline of his pecs through his shirt. Ben really was ripped, he was gorgeous, surrounded by all of this testosterone “let’s get it done” energy. It was hot as fuck.

“Micah!” Ross squealed when he saw me, running and crashing into my legs. I picked him up, wondering what he was doing running around by himself. However, I noticed that Ben had at least dressed him for the job in tiny work boots and jeans, complete with a tank top.

“Hey Ross! Are you having fun with Uncle Ben?” I asked.

“Yeah! I seen trucks and dump trucks and cranes and hammers and drills,” he rattled off a surpassingly complex list of tools.

“Wow, have you been helping?”

“Uncle Ben let me hammer,” he said proudly. Ben noticed me and waved, striding over with ease.

“You let him hammer?” I asked, trying not to sound like my mom whenever she freaked out.

“With the supervision of five crew members and myself, and I helped him hold it, don’t freak out. It’s perfectly safe here.” Ben grinned and brushed my elbow lightly, sending shocks of electricity through my body.

“I have a couple more things to do, and then we’re gonna break for lunch. Wanna watch him for a couple minutes and then we can go grab food?” Ben asked.

I took Ross over to the edge of the job site. “Let’s watch Ben.”

Ben was incredibly hard-working, I knew that already but watching him interact with his crew it was clear that he wanted everything done the right way and he wouldn’t accept anything less. His crew clearly respected him, this coupled with his sweaty T-shirt, made him seem so hot that it was annoying. He was the only person I knew who could make a hard hat look good. No one could pull off a yellow that bright.

“There’s a diner a couple blocks from here, is that okay for lunch?” Ben asked. We ambled across the parking lot and then hopped into my car. Later at the diner, Ben and Ross happily sipped on milkshakes.

“So, what have you been doing since you’ve been home?” Ben asked.

“I mean, helping you …” I said, as if it was obvious.

“No, I mean job-wise. Are you going to get a job here?” he asked, laughing as he took in my horrified facial expression.

“Just because I don’t work all day roasting in the hot sun doesn’t mean that I don’t work at all. For your information, I just got the script for the second episode of Hot Law. I’ve been running lines all morning. Besides, now if I ever have to play a construction worker I’ll be all set, no need for any more research.”

“I guess that’s true.” Ben checked his watch. “Oh … crud. I have to be back at the site in fifteen minutes.”

“Tell you what, I can take Ross over to my parent’s place for the rest of today and then we can meet up with you when you’re done with work,” I offered.

Ben looked hesitant, but then relieved. “Are you sure? That would actually be great.”

“It’s no trouble. Julie will be there, too I’m sure the two of us can keep him entertained. Besides, it’ll give my mom a chance to dote or whatever.”

“Thanks so much, Micah. You’re actually doing me a huge favor. I have to get going, tell your family I said hi. Ross, you be good for Micah.”

My mom was waiting for me on the front porch when I pulled up into the driveway.

“Well Michael, you certainly know how to surprise me. First a surprise visit, and now another grandchild? You’re off the hook for mother’s day,” she said placing a prim kiss on my cheek. My mother wasn’t one for grandiose displays of emotion, but as I bent down to get Ross from his car seat, she grinned.

“Now what’s his name again?” she asked gently.

“Ross,” I said. Ross stared up at my mom inquisitively.

“Hi, Ross.” I had never heard my mom sound so pleasant before. “I’m Nana. It’s so nice to meet you.”

What happened to my cold, judgmental, mother? Who the hell was Nana? We walked inside together and I made Ross take off his shoes.

“Ross, do you like trucks?” my mom asked.

Ross’s face lit up, “I love trucks!”

“Well, wonderful. There’s some trucks and toys in the living room, follow me.” Ross trailed after her obediently, any reservations he had about being in a new place were immediately quelled by the promise of toys. In the middle of my mother’s normally pristine living room, there was a pile of brightly colored plastic trucks and blocks. My sister, Julie, sat on the couch. She was dressed in a chic blazer and straight-leg jeans, she’d been effortlessly stylish since we were kids and now she worked at a multilevel marketing firm where she was quickly climbing the corporate ladder. Suffice to say, she was my mom’s favorite.

“Hey Jules,” I said coolly. Ross was already enraptured by the trucks and toys. I walked over to Julie gave her a quick hug. “What’s up?”

“Not much, I just took the day off to watch you bumble through fatherhood, I couldn’t miss this,” she said.

“Well your nephew is excited to meet you, too. Hey Ross, come meet your aunt Julie,” I invited him. Ross was still busy playing.

“It’s okay.” Julie got up and sat down on the floor next to Ross.

“Hey, Ross,” she said invitingly. Ross looked up and was immediately charmed by her. Generally, other than myself and Ben he was much more comfortable around women. He scooted closer and reached for her necklace, curiously.

“Ross, don’t grab,” I chided. My mom snickered.

“You like this?” Julie asked. She unclasped the necklace from her neck and let Ross get a closer look. They spent the rest of the afternoon playing on the floor together scooting trucks across the carpet. My mom and I watched, I still didn’t really know how to play with Ross and my mom was just amused.

“Michael, I might make some coffee, do you want some?” she asked. I nodded and followed her into the kitchen. She grabbed coffee from the cupboard and turned the coffeemaker on.

“Oh Michael, I wish you’d told me sooner. I’m furious at you, but I adore him. He’s wonderful, and much smarter than you were at that age,” she said, sliding in the burn at the last minute.

“Who, Ross?”

“No, Neil DeGrasse Tyson, of course Ross. Although, that’s a terrible name,” she said absentmindedly.

“I don’t know what to tell you, mom. Lindsey and her wife chose that name I didn’t have anything to do with it,” I said.

“Well you could have,” she retorted.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You could have been involved in this child’s life from the get-go, you should have been,” she chastised.

“Mom, let’s not start this now, okay? We literally just got here. I haven’t seen you in forever. And, how’s Julie?” Diverting my mom’s critical tendencies to my sister always helped.

“Julie’s fine, but you’re not focusing on the issue at hand. See Michael, this is why I have reservations about you being a family man,” she said smugly.

“What, why?”

“Because parenting is difficult and you tend to shy away from interpersonal difficulties,” she said primly.

“Mom, I’m an actor! I’m all about interpersonal difficulties.”

“No Michael, not in real life you aren’t. You didn’t even tell me that you had a son, I had to hear it from Julie over text message and that’s just rude.” She poured coffee into mugs and smirked at me. “Ross is sweet, though. Do you really want to keep him?”

“I mean, yeah I want to be in his life as much as possible and if that includes partial or even full custody then that would be great.”

“Do you have any help? Single parenthood is hard, Michael. I had a difficult time with you and Julie once your father started traveling for work, and I still had his help when he was around. I can’t imagine doing it all alone. You need to seriously think about all of your options here.”

“Mom, I am thinking this through. I’m sick of people thinking that I’m too impulsive to take care of a child.” I carried our mugs back into the living room.

“Look Micah, it’s Jenga!” Julie said gleefully gesturing towards the giant tower of blocks that she and Ross had constructed.

“Julie would help me,” I said to my mom.

“Yes, but Julie won’t co-parent with you Michael, you need a partner.”

Now, I was getting frustrated. “You barely had a partner and you and dad got divorced immediately after Julie and I were out of the house. Don’t give me all of this shit about how parenting is about teamwork or whatever, you’re being such a hypocrite.”

“Michael, your father and I got divorced because I realized that he had been cheating on me with his secretary for the past twenty years, not for the sake of whimsy. Besides, your career is just about to take off you can’t drop everything and raise a child that you barely know. Now, does the child have any other family?”

“Yeah, Lindsey’s a twin. Remember Ben? He still lives in town and he’s been looking after Ross It’s not like I’m going to put my career on hold, I’m still going to work I just need to figure out how to balance work things.” I opened the refrigerator and grabbed a jug of almond milk for my coffee, “Besides, Lindsey always wanted for her child to know who his father was, that’s why she chose me to be the donor instead of some stranger. I have to honor her wishes.”

My mom hesitated for a minute, pursing her lips. “Benjamin was always the sweetest young man, and he owns the construction company that’s redoing Mrs. Wyndham’s house. Ross could live with him with ease, it’s not like you'd be shipping him off to an orphanage like Oliver Twist. I don’t see why you’re so hung up about this, Ross clearly already has a family that loves him.”

I almost blushed at the thought of Ben, sweaty and capable at his work site, but now wasn’t the time for my mind to wander. My family had always liked the Benson’s, and my mom, who was usually stingy with her affections, had a particular soft spot for Ben. To this day, he helped her do yard work, since both Julie and I hated the outdoors.

“It’s just something I have to do,” I said. At that moment, I realized that I really did want to be in Ross’s life to the best of my ability.

“Well, don’t say I didn’t warn you,” my mom said.

Julie scoffed from over on the rug. “Mom, what do you know about parenting? Sticking your kids in daycare and dance class for their whole life doesn’t really constitute parenting.”

“Oh hush, Julie. You’re just bitter because Micah was better at modern dance than you were. It’s not my fault that you have the flexibility of a plywood board.”

I laughed.

“Mom, that’s not it, I just think that we could all put a little effort into being more of a family. Think about it, Micah had a son living fifteen minutes away from us this whole time, and none of us knew. What does that say about us? If Micah wants to try and give Ross a family, then we should try to do the same.”

I was stunned by her declaration. I couldn’t believe that she was on board with this. I wondered how Ben would feel if he knew that my family somewhat supported me raising Ross when he so vehemently wanted to keep Ross for himself. Then I realized that I should probably ask him.

Ben

The owner of the car dealership studied Lindsey’s used Volvo intently. “I’ll take it for $3,200,” he said.

“That’s ridiculous,” I exclaimed. “This car still looks brand new! Come on, I just changed the oil last week. $3,500 at least.”

“Yeah, it looks brand new but there are over 100,000 miles on here. I know you’re in a tough spot, Ben, but we need to be realistic here.” The car salesman straightened his tie.

I sighed and looked at Lindsey’s beloved beat-up Volvo. I helped her buy this car over ten years ago, and up until Ross was born it was practically her child. We’d taken hundreds of road trips, to the Grand Canyon and Big Sur. When Lindsey and Katherine got married, they both took a week off work and drove out to California before flying out to Hawaii for their ‘official’ honeymoon. I had helped Lindsey dig this car out of snow drifts, changed the oil countless times, and sat in the passenger seat as we drove around our hometown late at night, and now it was just another piece of her that was gone.

Briefly, I considered the car salesman’s offer, it was grossly undervaluing the value of the actual car itself, but he also had a point this car had been through the wringer. It was only natural that the value depreciated over time, and I would never say it out loud but I needed the money desperately, especially if I wanted to get Lindsey’s mortgage up to speed, and start paying for Ross’s daycare during the upcoming school year. Sentimentality aside, it was looking like I didn’t have much of a choice.

“$3,250, and that’s my final offer,” I conceded.

The car salesman grinned. “It’s been a pleasure doing business with you, Ben,” he said, sticking out his hand. I gave him a resigned handshake and headed inside to work out the payment details.

Later that day, as I stood in line at the bank waiting to cash the check, my phone rang, it was a number that I didn’t recognize. “Hello?”

“Hello, my name is Lisa. I’m calling from Health and Heart Childcare center, and I was wondering if you had the contact information for the parent or guardian of Ross Benson?”

“I’m his uncle if that helps,” I volunteered.

“Oh, yes! Benjamin, right?”

“Yes, is there a problem. Is everything alright with Ross? I know he’s been having a bit of a rough time adjusting to living with me, but I think that’s just part of the grieving process at least, that’s what people keep telling me,” I rambled, starting to get nervous.

What if Ross got kicked out of daycare because he was acting out? Where would he go? I thought of Micah’s concern about Ross being around the construction site. In a way, he was right, it was no place for a toddler. But sometimes it was just easier to take Ross with me for the day, especially on weekends when the daycare was closed, but that wasn’t a permanent solution.

“Mr. Benson, I know you’re not the person who usually handles this, but the bill for this month is due Thursday, and the balance needs to be paid if Ross wants to continue to attend the summer session. I know his mother’s just died and I’m aware that things are stressful right now, but this needs to be taken care of,” Lisa explained. The sympathy in her voice made me cringe. I hated being pitied, especially when it came to my situation with Ross.

“What’s the balance? I’m sure I can get it taken care of,” I said.

“The balance in your account is currently $1,500 … there was a little bit of carryover from last month, too,” Lisa explained.

I was floored. I knew childcare was expensive but with this money Ross could practically have his own apartment. There was no way that I could pay this and Lindsey’s overdue mortgage payments, even with the extra money from selling her car. I was screwed, and Ross was about to become the world’s youngest construction worker.

I stifled a curse. “I’ll figure this out.”

“I’m sure you will. But, you need to figure it out by Thursday at the latest.”

“I will, thanks for letting me know,” I replied.

“Of course, Mr. Benson. You have a nice day now.”

“Thanks, you too.” I hung up the phone and deposited the check. Five minutes ago, it seemed like a sizable amount of money, but now it barely made a dent in our expenses for the month. I thought of Leo, wondering how he was managing to pay for his physical therapy and other expenses while trying to manage his own health. His physical therapist had contacted me last night to let me know that he would be cleared to work in two weeks, although I would have to make sure that he took frequent breaks. Knowing Leo, he must be itching to get back to work.

Then it hit me, Leo’s wife Courtney was a stay-at-home mom, and her youngest was just about to start Kindergarten. Maybe she could watch Ross!

Quickly, I dialed her number.

Courtney answered on the first ring. “Hey, Ben! How’s everything going back at the site? Do you need anything?”

“Everything at the site is fine, but we sure do miss Leo. But that’s not actually the reason I’m calling, I kind of need a favor.”

“Of course, what’s up?” Courtney asked.

“You’re a stay at home mom, right?”

“Yeah, I can’t wait for summer to be over. But it’s going to be weird with all of the kids in school all day.”

“Well, I was wondering, would you be up to watching Ross while I’m at work during the day? The daycare where Lindsey had Ross enrolled is way too expensive, and I’ll throw in some extra money to help cover Leo’s physical therapy expenses. He got injured on my job site so it’s the least I can do. And, I know Ross loves you and the kids,” I said quickly. I hated asking for help.

“Sure, that would be great! We definitely need the extra money, and I love Ross, too. He’s such a sweet boy.”

For the first time all week, I breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you Courtney, you’re a lifesaver.”

“Anytime Ben, text me if you remember anything that I should know about Ross. You know, if he has any allergies or is gluten free or anything,” she said. I was already impressed by how thorough Courtney was.

“I will, thanks again, Courtney.” We chatted for a bit, then I hung up. At least that was taken care of.