“I want to watch Duncan,” I say, folding my arms. “I’m here to support family. Isn’t that the most important thing, as you’re so fond of saying?”
Dad sighs, runs a hand over his smooth head. He turns to Duncan, says, “You brought her here?”
Duncan meets Dad’s eyes. “She wanted to come.”
“You should have told her not to.”
“I’ll never tell her she can’t do anything.”
“God damn it, don’t you two start ganging up on me. Where the hell have you been?”
“At your daughter’s graduation,” Duncan says.
I wince when I see Dad’s expression.
Dad looks at me. “I had to prepare for the fight tonight, sweet—”
“I know,” I say coldly. “Business. I’m here to support Duncan, and you can’t stop me.”
“Deidre, this is no place for a young woman.”
I laugh, shake my head. “You really want to have an argument with me in front of all your friends?” I gesture with my head at the restaurant. “Because of my gender?”
Dad turns around, sees everybody standing at the window, watching us. Other families and organizations, all dressed in their expensive suits, and all wearing glinting gold jewelry. Frustration ripples across his face.
“We are going to talk about this when we get home,” he says.
Duncan steps forward. “Deidre just wants to support me,” he says, flashing a charming smile.
Dad grumbles. “You really want to be here?” he asks, looking at me.
I nod at him. “I do.” As the words leave my mouth, I wonder if it’s the truth, or if I’m just trying to stick it to Dad. He doesn’t want me here because he’s scared I’ll embarrass him.
I catch Duncan’s eye, and we exchange a glance. With Dad in front of us, I trail with Duncan. He’s got a cocky gait, with his hands in his pockets, like he hasn’t a worry in the world, and each time he smiles at me, he injects me with confidence.
“Don’t worry,” he says as we cross the street and enter the restaurant. “But I want you to stay with me.”
“Why?”
“Just stay with me every moment you can.”
“Do you think something is going to go down?” I ask, furrowing my brow.
“No,” he says. “But with people like this, you never know. So just stick with me, okay?”
“What, you going to protect me?” I ask, teasing him.
“If I have to.”
We walk through the restaurant. All the chairs are upside down and resting on the tables. There are no table cloths, no linen or cutlery. I’d guess the restaurant hasn’t been used for its apparent purpose in years.
Dad introduces me to all of his friends, and then Duncan as his fighter. I run the gamut of ‘haven’t seen you since you were a little girl’ and ‘what a beautiful young lady you’ve become’, and I wear a fake smile, and pay everybody the proper respect.
Even if I’m feeling rebellious toward Dad, there’s a part of me that knows I have a role to play in this little gathering, and if I don’t play it, then I’m only going to make things difficult for him.
He leads us through a back door, past the kitchen, and then down some steps into a wide-open basement, spacious, dusty, the smell of mildew on the air.
In the center of the room is a cage, illuminated by some construction-site lights. More men mill down here, smoking cigars and cigarettes, sipping from beer bottles or shot-glasses of spirits.
I realize I’m the only woman here.
“Your private changing room is back there, Duncan,” Dad says. “There’s bikes for you to warm up on, treadmills, free weights. Everything you need is in your locker. It’s for you, only. The other fighters have their own rooms.”
“Alright, Glass,” Duncan says. He looks at me, and beneath Dad’s suspicious eye, we both walk to the back room. On the way there, I almost instinctively grab Duncan’s hand, but pull back at the last moment.
Close, I think to myself. Managing this secret is only going to get harder and harder.
The back room is larger than I expected, and I realize the basement expands to the building next to the restaurant, and even the one after it.
The whole street is mob-owned, and this whole block is one giant front. But we’re not in Dad’s part of town, which probably explains why he’s acting a little nervous.
Duncan walks around, checks under the benches, on top of the lockers.
“What are you doing?”
“Just being paranoid.”
“For what?”
He shrugs, then turns to me, grins.
“Is it everything you hoped for?” I ask, laughing. Even though there’s lots of equipment back here, it’s pretty dark and dingy, not glamorous at all.
I wonder if this is what Duncan had in mind when he envisioned becoming an underground fighting star.
The glitz and glamor won’t come for a while yet. When I tell him so, he just nods, gives me a small grunt, like that doesn’t really matter.
“I thought you wanted to be the best?”
“I don’t need it to sparkle.”
He begins to take off his clothes, and immediately I look away without knowing why. It’s just… awkward. It’s been so long since he and I—
“You don’t have to turn around,” he says.
So I don’t. I watch as he unbuttons his shirt methodically, calmly, then peels it off his muscular body.
In the dim light he looks more cut than ever, and then his fingers go to his belt buckle.
I swallow, feel my blood start to surge, thunder in my ears. My face grows hot.
He pulls off his underwear, and I gaze at him, eyes wide as his naked body comes into view. He catches my eye, and says, “I’m glad you came,” while approaching me. He takes my hands, places my palms on his chest.
I start breathing quicker, feel a rush of excitement, of thrill. His chest is so hot, firm, and I swear I can feel his heartbeat thumping underneath.
He holds my face in his hand now, tucks my hair behind my ear, and then he leans forward, puts his lips right below my ear, and kisses a smoldering trail down my neck.
“Oh, I want you right now, Dee. Right fucking now.”
I suck in air, feel a tension in my thighs that pulses right down to my toes, and I shiver, goose bumps exploding all over the tops of my arms, my hairs standing on end.
“You smell amazing,” he tells me, and I feel the press of his teeth against my skin, and it only makes me shiver more.
His hard chest is inviting, and slowly I run my hands down his torso, across the undulation of his tight stomach.
I slide my hands around to grip his strong waist right above where it dips into his Adonis belt. He takes my hand, sidles it around his front, through the buzz of his pubic hair. I grip onto his shaft, my breath hitching, a ball of desire growing in my belly.
But then nervousness takes ahold of me. We can’t do this here. What if Dad walks in? What if someone else does? It’s too dangerous… and I step backward, flustered. “You know that this… is impossible.”
“What is?”
“I don’t know,” I say, growing frustrated. “Us?”
“Why?”
Without warning he rings my wrist, tugs me toward him, catches my lips in his, kisses me hard. I don’t push off him, I let him kiss me, shut my eyes, run my hands through his hair.
I feel his hardness against me, instinctively press my body against it, but then there’s a knock at the door and we separate instantly.
“One minute,” Duncan says, pulling on compression shorts and then his fighting shorts.
Dad pokes his head in after a moment, looks at both of us slowly.
“Let’s go, Duncan,” he says. “Round one. You’re up. They want to kick off early.”
“I haven’t warmed up properly yet,” Duncan says, standing with his back to Dad. I put my fingers to my lips, struggle to keep my smile from forming. He’s hiding his boner! At once it’s funny and dangerous… a heady concoction.
“You’ll be fine, your first opponent is a nobody.”
“Just give me a minute.”
Dad disappears, and Duncan turns down to me, takes my lips in his again. He kisses me urgently, his breaths quick, his body-heat seemingly doubled.
He presses me up against the lockers, pins my hands above my head, and kisses and bites a swathe of skin down my neck.
“We want what we want,” he tells me. “So live a little.”
He takes my hand, pulls me toward the door. Just as he opens it I pull my fingers from his grip, and he walks out, his gait all business, all swagger, his shoulders swaying. He doesn’t even look at Dad, but he looks at me once more, smirks.
Our eyes meeting is like our own private conversation. I’ve got tunnel vision. All I can see is his crystal-blue orbs.
Win this fight, I think to myself, looking from Duncan toward his opponent already in the cage. Beat his ass.
Duncan climbs into the cage, puts his mouth guard in, greets the referee then taps fists with his opponent.
A bell dings. The fight starts. Duncan lunges.