That night, I drifted off to sleep while Skyping with him, even though I tried to stay awake as long as possible. When I woke the next morning, I could see his face on the screen. I watched him for a couple minutes before his alarm blared and he stretched, rolling onto his back.

“Good morning, Kayden,” I said. I wanted to wake up in his arms. I wanted to touch him.

He flinched, forgetting I was there. “Morning, baby. Sleep well?” he replied, stretching enough to cause the covers to slide down his body.

“I did.”

“It’s nice to wake up to your voice instead of just my alarm,” Kayden said to me as he rubbed his eyes to clear his vision.

“I wish I could wake you with a kiss. I’d give anything to rub your chest and stroke your arms,” I said to him with a goofy smile on my face.

“I wish you’d wake me stroking something else, baby doll,” he said with a chuckle.

He moved his legs, and the blankets no longer covered him at all, giving me a full view of his erection.

“Dreaming of me again, Kayden?” I asked, staring at him with wide eyes. I would never tire of his body.

“Always. I’d make love to you if you were here. I’d have you crawl on top of me, moving your body slowly. I’d want to feel every inch moving inside of you,” he said as he reached down and began to touch himself.

“I want that—my body misses yours,” I said to him.

“I’d suck on those beautiful nipples while you moved at a torturous pace on top of me. I’d make you beg me to move faster and harder. I love when you beg, Sophia,” Kayden said with a sly grin.

“I love your form of torture,” I replied with an innocent laugh.

“Okay, enough of that. I have to get ready for work. You’re such a distraction but a fucking sexy one,” he said as he sat up and covered his cock, shielding it from my view.

“You’re such a tease. Go get ready and text me in a bit. I’m going to lie back down and finish what you started in my dreams,” I said, blowing him a kiss.

“I will, baby doll. Catch you in a bit. I’m going to go lather up and think of your fingers moving across my body,” he said with a laugh, and then the screen went black.

I drifted back to sleep with thoughts of Kayden’s beautiful body moving under mine.

* * *

I wanted to fill all of his senses while we were apart. I mailed him letters and small packages filled with tiny items to remind him of me. I wanted him to have something to look forward to each day. A couple contained cards or letters, perfume-scented tissue, his favorite candies, and things that made him smile. I never told him that I was sending them, and the waiting made me crazy.

Me: Are you home from work yet?

Kayden: Hold on… I’m busy smelling my Kleenex.

I smiled to myself. He was happy, and I was able to surprise him.

Me: What? Oh, you got one of the envelopes I sent you.

Kayden: Yes. I’m smiling ear to ear! You’re the best!

He always seemed like such a tough ass, but I knew I could make him a pile of mush.

Me: Was it a puffy envelope or a regular one?

Kayden: I have more than one coming?

Me: Yes, a couple of envelopes are on the way… I spaced them out.

Kayden: Seriously? The card says it’s about the little things. Couldn’t be more true. I opened the mailbox and had to look around because all I could smell was you.

I wanted there to be a constant reminder of me. I wanted my smell to be near, reminding him of my skin.

Me: I love that.

Kayden: Yes, whoosh… It hit me as soon as I opened the mailbox. I’m almost speechless. No one’s ever been so thoughtful.

Me: No one’s ever sent you a card?

Kayden: Birthday cards, but not one just to make me smile… It’s all a double-edged sword.

He’d never had anyone treat him with as much thought and love as he always gave to them. I wanted to be different. I loved him. Everything about the relationship was a double-edged sword. I loved Kayden and wanted to be with him always, but the distance and our jobs wouldn’t allow it.

Me: I know, love. I just wanted to make you smile.

Kayden: You did, incredibly large.

Me: It’s a good day for you to get it. I know you had a shitty day at work.

Kayden: I love you so much.

My body grew warm and tingly. I could never get sick of seeing or hearing those words from Kayden.

Me: I love you, too. I want to make you smile every day. You work hard, and we are so far away. There will be more, mostly silly stuff. Now, stop smelling me. Get your shit done, so I can see you on Skype… I’ve waited all day.

Kayden: I’m going to put the Kleenex in my pillowcase. I want to smell you as I drift off to sleep.

I made sure to send as many packages and cards as possible. I wanted him to know that I was always thinking of him. I wanted him to know that he was loved and thought about…even if I couldn’t be with him. he was always with me in my heart.