Chapter 4

Dana

I can’t believe I had to ask Keagan for help. I’m relieved that he agreed. Last night, he kept telling me that he cared. It’s good to know that I have somewhere I can go, even if it was hard to ask. I hate asking for help, but sometimes, things slip out of my control.

I’m dressed and ready to go at seven in the morning. When I came back after dinner last night, I didn’t go right to bed, even though I was exhausted. I packed up everything I could in the few boxes and bags I had. I don’t want Keagan to come here and see my life turned inside out, the way it feels.

I want to have something ready for him, at least.

Now, while I wait, I’m wrapping glasses and mugs in newspaper. I don’t have boxes to put them in, but at least, this will be half the work done.

When my doorbell rings, Keagan stands in front of me, bright and fresh. His blond hair is damp, like he just stepped out of the shower. He’s wearing jeans and a t-shirt, moving clothes, but he still looks put together.

“Morning,” he says cheerfully. Behind him, four men are getting out of a truck in the road. They unload collapsed cardboard boxes.

“You brought company?” I ask.

Keagan nods. “Yeah, they’re here to help. I figured you needed a few people to get through it quickly. I brought boxes, too.”

I swallow hard. He’s being so nice to me. Everything is overwhelming.

My mom was right. Keagan was a good person to turn to, and apparently, he will do a lot for me. Keagan steps inside and puts his hand on my shoulder. His hand is large and warm. When he looks at me, his blue eyes are piercing.

“Where would you like us to start?” he asks.

I lead Keagan to the kitchen and show him what I’ve done so far.

“Wrapping them was a great idea,” he says. He calls the guys inside. They tape up a cardboard box and start packing.

“It’s big of you to hire a team,” I say. It will go so much quicker with these guys jumping in as well.

Keagan nods. “Let’s leave them to it here and sort out your office. What do you say?”

I follow him to my office. I haven’t touched it. My shelf is full of books, my desk has folders all over it, and I have boxes full of swatches and fabric samples. Keagan stands with his hands on his hips, looking around.

I don’t know what living with Keagan again will be like. It’s easily been ten years since we’ve lived together in the same place. I’ve gotten used to having my own space and doing my own thing. It will be strange falling into someone else’s routine again, and abiding by someone else’s rules.

We were always close, so I don’t think it will be a problem. When he first moved in so many years ago, being in the same house as the boy I had a crush on was hard. It was even harder that I wasn’t allowed to like him anymore. Somehow, we’d gotten over liking each other and fell into a comfortable rhythm.

Sometimes, out of nowhere, I still see Keagan as the guy I crushed on and not the one that became my brother. Not that it matters. I doubt he feels the same about me. Don’t guys get over their crushes easily? I’m the only one holding onto something that never got a chance to exist.

Keagan walks out of the room again, and his scent stays behind. It smells like soap, clean and fresh, and I breathe in deeply. He returns with two collapsed boxes and tape. He tapes up the boxes and puts them down in the middle of the floor.

“How about you start with those files,” he says, pointing to my portfolios. “I’ll handle the books?”

I nod. It’s difficult having people rummage through my things. I feel like they’re pulling me apart, seeing every side of me that I can choose to hide under normal circumstances. With Keagan, I don’t mind it so much, but the other guys make me feel uncomfortable.

The day goes by quickly. We barely break for lunch. It’s easier to keep working while we’re eating. Bit by bit, my house is packed up. I don’t have a lot of things, and that’s the only reason it’s possible to nearly pack up everything in one day.

By five o’clock the men all leave. Boxes are stacked in the corners of every room, and my place has been cleaned, for the most part. All my furniture has already been loaded and taken to Keagan’s warehouse, where he has extra space for me.

“We’ll finish tomorrow,” Keagan says. “They’re coming back, and we’ll get the boxes to storage as well.

I shake my head. “You’re doing all of this for me, and I can’t even repay you,” I say.

Keagan shakes his head and nudges me with his elbow. “Don’t sweat it. We’ll get this fixed in no time.”

I’m emotional. It’s hard losing my home and having strangers pack it up for me. It’s better than being kicked out on the street, though, and I have Keagan to thank for that.

“I’m going to run out and get us dinner,” Keagan says. “Why don’t you take a box and pack up the things in your bedroom you don’t need?”

I nod. He smiles at me and walks through the door, disappearing into the dusk that’s falling outside. I walk to my room and do as he asks.

I’ve finished two boxes by the time he comes back. I smell Chinese all the way from the kitchen. When I join Keagan, he’s unpacking sweet and sour pork and fried noodles. He’s also bought wine.

“Oh, God, this is the best idea you’ve had all day,” I say, picking up the bottle of wine.

Keagan grins at me. “I thought so.”

He hands me my container of food, and we walk to the living room. He pushes the coffee table out of the way, and we sit down on the carpet, spreading out our food. I found two wine glasses in one of the boxes and Keagan pours wine for both of us.

The food is fantastic, and the wine is just what I needed. Slowly, I feel the tension bleed out of my shoulders. My body becomes light, and I feel good for the first time in days. Keagan sits next to me. We lean our backs against the couch.

“Can you believe this is where I ended up?” I say. “When we were younger, I had such big dreams. Look at me, now. On the verge of eviction. Broke.”

Keagan shakes his head. “You’ve always been on top of things. It’s just a bad month. Not a bad life.”

I grin at him. “You sound like a fortune cookie.”

Keagan shrugs. “Even in school, you were good at everything. It’s one of the first thing’s I noticed about you. Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

“Really?” I ask. “That’s what you noticed about me?”

“Well, among other things.” He’s studying the wine in his glass intently.

“Like what?”

Keagan glances at me. “Are you kidding me? You were the hottest girl in school. Not much has changed, by the way.”

I blink at him. He looks at me with serious eyes. His pupils are dilated, and something twists in my stomach.

“You can’t mean that,” I say.

“Why not? I know what I like. I know a ten when I see one.”

I blush violently. “You can’t tell me that,” I say.

“But it’s true.”

He leans against me so that our arms touch. His skin is hot through the sleeves of my shirt. His scent is in my nose. Maybe it’s the wine, his help in my time of need, or the fact that I’m at rock bottom, but I get turned on. I swallow hard. Heat flushes through my body and pools between my legs.

Keagan’s eyes are still on mine. He lifts his hand and brushes his knuckles against my cheek. Electricity runs from his skin to mine. The atmosphere is charged, and I know what he wants before his eyes slide to my lips. This is wrong. I can’t do this. Except, this is what I want. What I’ve wanted for a long time. I’ve denied it because it’s not supposed to be this way.

When Keagan leans toward me, I know I should pull away. I’m frozen in place, and I watch him close the distance between us. His fingers rest against my cheek, and his lips touch mine a moment later.

My breath hitches in my throat. He kisses me, carefully, allowing me to pull away if that’s what I want.

I don’t. When I don’t move, he kisses me with more confidence. And he knows exactly what he’s doing. His tongue runs along my bottom lip, and without thinking about it, I open my mouth. He slides his tongue into my mouth, soft and hot, and tastes me. I’ve never been kissed like this, and my body is practically vibrating.

I break the kiss.

“What are you doing?” I ask. I’m out of breath.

Keagan doesn’t look as flustered as I am. His pupils are dilated, lips parted.

“Kissing you,” he whispers, sending shivers down my spine in the most delicious way.

I don’t know what to say to that. Keagan leans into me again. His lips touch mine, and this time, I don’t hesitate. Somewhere at the back of my mind, a little voice tells me I’m doing something I probably shouldn’t, but the way he’s kissing me sets my body on fire. I’m melting in my panties. I’m getting wetter—so much fucking wetter—hotter, and the wine in my system pushes all the worries out of my mind.

All I can think about is him. He fills my sense, leaving room for nothing else.

I lift my hand and push my fingers into Keagan’s hair. He groans into my mouth. His hand slips down my neck, his fingers fluttering over my skin. He thumbs my collarbone, and then his hand is on my chest, sliding to my breast.

Oh, God.

I feel like I might spontaneously combust. I’m hot and wet and ready, and my body screams for more. Keagan hasn’t even touched me yet.

My breasts tingle, and my nipples tighten with anticipation. A moment later, his hand is on my breast, massaging skillfully.

Keagan’s breathing becomes shallow and erratic. He gasps into my mouth. It’s like he’s finally allowed to touch me. Like he’s always wanted to.

I push the thought out of my mind. I stop thinking all together.

My hand wanders down his body and into his lap. I rest my palm on his cock, and he’s hard—so fucking hard—through his jeans. When I rub him through the thick material, he groans again.

“Fuck, Dana. I’ve wanted this for so long.”

“What?” I mumble against his lips, not believing what I’m hearing. Is my lust addled brain making hear things now?

He shakes his head without breaking the kiss and reaches for the hem of my shirt. He pulls it up over my breasts, and his hands land on my bra.

I break the kiss.

“Keagan. Really?” I ask, gaping at him. “For how long?”

His eyes are a dark blue, like the ocean, and he licks his lips. He nods slowly, opening his mouth to speak.

“This is a bad idea,” I say, cutting him off before he can say anything and shaking my head. I start pulling back my hand from his cock, but he stops me, pressing my hand down with his.

“Don’t fucking think about it,” he says.

He moves his hips, grinding himself against my hand. I gasp. I want him so bad. I’m crazy horny, I’m wet, and I want him to keep going. I don’t ever want to stop.

My shirt is still up over my breasts. He leans into me again. This time, I give in.

I close the distance and kiss him. I move my hand on his cock again.

I want this.

I’ve always wanted this, if I’m being honest.

And now that I’m getting a taste, I don’t know if I’ll be satisfied until I get it all.