Chapter 8

Dana

On Thursday morning, Keagan heads back to work, and I have the house to myself. I don’t really feel at home yet. Being alone in a strange house is a little disconcerting. It’s also so soon after everything went wrong, and I don’t know how to sort out my feelings yet.

I’ll make it through, somehow. I know that much. Keagan told me I could stay as long as I need to, and I will just wait to find my feet before I go job hunting again. As kind as Keagan was to let me stay here, I don’t want to become a burden. I already feel like I’m imposing.

I sit down in the living room and switch on the monster television he has against his wall. It’s a typical male object to have. The size is like being in a cinema, and the sound surrounds me. I put on a movie and try to zone out.

It doesn’t work very well. It doesn’t take very long before my mind drifts to Keagan and what we did. I don’t know how I feel about it. Having sex with Keagan was fantastic when we did it, the stuff of pure fantasy. But now that it happened, I don’t know where we stand.

I don’t know how I truly feel about him. There was a time when I liked him, when I wanted to go out on a date with him to the movies or the ice cream parlor when we were kids. But he’s been living in the same house as me for so long, I pushed everything away that wasn’t completely acceptable.

And that included whatever I might have felt for him.

At least, I thought I did.

Now, everything feels different. He’s a great guy, strong and caring, kind and gentle, but there’s a sense of danger to him, too. He’s the kind of guy every girl can fall for. Especially now that he’s made it so big.

What’s stopping him from having any girl out there? Why would he want to be with me?

But it’s not about dating, I remind myself. We’re just sleeping together. Fuck buddies. And it’s better that way.

Still, I don’t want to tell anyone about what happened. I can imagine my friends’ reactions. They’ll be horrified. They all think Keagan is hot, obviously, but not for his stepsister to fuck.

God, what have I gotten myself into?

I pause the movie and close my eyes. He is everything I ever wanted in a man. When he made a move on me, he knew exactly what he was doing. He was demanding, an alpha male, but he respected me. When last, if ever, have I had sex this good?

I shift down on the couch. I’m hot and bothered, and I am getting turned on just thinking about Keagan and his cock. He touched me like I was the only women he’s ever seen, even though I know it can’t be true. A man as attractive as him must have had many women.

Still, he took me like I was the only thing he wanted. And God, he did it well.

I push my hands into my pants. My fingers slide into my slit, and I find my clit. I take a deep breath and shiver.

The doorbell rings, and I freeze. I don’t know anyone in the building, and Keagan isn’t here. What do I do?

It rings again, and then my mom’s voice calls through the door.

“Dana, honey, its me.”

I fix my pants, feeling silly, and walk to the front door. It takes me a moment to figure out the locking system, and then I open the door. My mom hugs me before coming inside.

“I just want to see how you’re doing,” she says. She’s alone.

“Chris is watching the studio,” she adds, reading my mind before I have a chance to ask. “How are you doing? Your cheeks are flush.”

I shrug and cup my cheeks with my hands. “I’m doing okay,” I say. “Keagan helped me sort out my place yesterday. Do you want coffee? It’s the one thing I can make in this high-tech kitchen.”

My mom nods and follows me to the open plan kitchen. She sits down on a bar stool and watches me move around the kitchen. I feel clumsy in a home that’s not mine.

“So, are you doing all right?” Mom asks.

“I think so, yeah.” I put on the coffee machine again, trying to do what I did this morning.

“And Keagan? How is it, staying with him?”

I swallow, thinking about the sex we had two nights ago. It wasn’t here, so I don’t think it counts.

“It’s okay,” I say. “It will take some getting used to, being in a house with him again.”

I hesitate. “Do you remember when I told you I had a crush on him? Before you and Chris got together?”

My mom nods. “You were so sweet. Your first crush and all. Why do you ask? Do you still feel that way about him?”

“God, no,” I say, almost before her sentence I finished. I get two mugs ready for coffee.

My mom narrows her eyes at me. “You do, don’t you?”

I shake my head, but I’m suddenly blushing furiously, and I feel like an idiot because I can’t stop it. I’m giving it all away, and I’m not even saying anything.

“You slept together, didn’t you?” my mom asks.

My stomach turns. “Mom! What the hell?”

She grins. “’You’re so transparent. I knew there was something between you two.”

I keep shaking my head. My cheeks are on fire.

“You could never keep a secret from me. Remember when you snuck out on that bonfire night? It’s the same.”

I was still shaking my head. This wasn’t happening. My mom didn’t just figure out that I’d slept with Keagan. She’s smiling, though. She doesn’t look upset. And that confuses me.

“What do you mean, you knew there was something between us?” I ask.

My mom shrugs. “I’ve always seen it. You two are just… different together.”

“And you’re not mad?” I ask. Keeping up the act is pointless.

My mom laughs. “Honey, who you fall in love with is hardly your choice. And you’re not related, anyway.”

“But it’s taboo,” I say. I expect her to freak out, but she’s nice about it, and it’s unhinging me.

“Yes, yes, taboo. Some people think it’s wrong. But you know me. I’m open to anything. Besides, like I said, you can’t choose.”

I shake my head. “It’s not love, though.” Right? I suddenly don’t know. But it can’t be. I mean, I love him. I grew up with him. But being in love and loving someone amicably isn’t the same thing.

But friends don’t fuck each other.

I swallow hard.

“I doubt Chris will be as open about it,” I say.

Chris is letting my mom live out her dream by helping her with the studio, but he’s a hands-on, black-and-white kind of guy most of the time. He’s not exactly open to new things, never mind bizarre things.

My mom sighs and shakes her head. “Sweetie, if you want to do something, you must go ahead and do it. I know you want your parents’ approval, but it’s your choice. If this really gets serious, then we can worry about telling him.”

I nod. She’s right. I don’t even know if it’s serious yet.

I can’t believe she knows. I can’t believe she figured it out. But my mom is a free-spirited person, and I’ve always been able to tell her things without her freaking out. It’s the one reason we’re still so close.

All my friends have had fights with their mothers. They don’t get along, or they keep secrets from them. I’ve never had that with my mom.

It had been just the two of us for a long time, and after she found Chris, we had stayed close, despite my fears that she would turn away from me.

Now that she knows, it feels good. It feels good to have spoken about it to someone, even if I didn’t go into detail. Which I didn’t think I ever would.

“So, how serious is it?” she asks me.

I shrug.

“I mean, is it just sex or are you going to make it official?”

I shake my head. “I don’t know where we stand yet. I know we’re not going to be official, and there’s no way we’re going public, what with his career and everything.”

My mom nods. “It will be easier to figure out if it’s just the two of you for now. To understand where you stand without the pressures from the public.”

I nod. It’s sound advice. I can’t believe she’s so open about it, and she’s not lecturing me about how wrong it is. Of course, my mom never thinks something is wrong. At worst, she believes that it’s just the wrong time. I’ve never been as open-minded and easy about life as she is, but I understand her, and her approach this time helps me.

After a while, my mom leaves. She’s satisfied, knowing that I’m okay, and she wanted to get back to Chris.

I open one of my boxes and find a sketch pad. I haven’t sketched in a while, and it feels good to do my own thing again.

Keagan comes home just after five.

“You’ll never guess what happened,” I say.

When he looks at me, I tell him about the visit from my mom and what she figured out. He’s shocked, but I shake my head.

“She doesn’t care,” I say. “She’s not angry or anything. In fact, I think she’s all for it.”

Keagan frowns. “That’s weird,” he says.

I nod. It is weird, all things considered.

“I’ve wanted to ask,” I say. “Can I use your bath tub?”

Keagan blinks. “You don’t have to ask. This is your home, too.”

I smile and thank him. The bath tub is in his bathroom, and I didn’t want to intrude. I close the door and get the hot water running. The bath is large and oval, and it takes a while to fill up.

When it’s full, I undress and get in the water. I sit in the bath, and it covers me almost up to my shoulders. It’s the epitome of luxury.

I close my eyes and lean my head back.

The bathroom door opens, and Keagan walks in. I feel slightly exposed. His eyes are on my body, filled with hunger and arousal. Seeing that look in his gaze takes away any embarrassment. I watch him as he walks toward me and sits on the edge of the bath.

He drags his fingers through the water, until his fingertips graze my shoulder. He squeezes my shoulder once before he slides his hand into the water and cups my breast. My nipples tighten immediately and Keagan smiles. I let him fondle me. My pussy gets hot in the water, hotter than the bath already is, and I feel myself getting wet, even though I’m submerged.

Keagan slips from the edge of the bath so he’s kneeling on the floor. His other hand joins me in the water, and he traces my body down, over my abdomen. He pushes his hand between my legs without ceremony, and his fingers slip into my slit.

I close my eyes and tip my head back. He circles my clit a few times before pushing his fingers deep inside me. My body is on fire, begging for attention again. Keagan pushes his fingers in and out of me, finger fucking me. I’m balanced between his hand on my breast and his hand on my pussy. My breathing becomes erratic and shallow, and my desire overtakes me.