Being invited to Paxton’s childhood home is like being invited into a part of his life that I’ve been dying to know about for a long, long time.

This house, a white colonial with big oak trees flanking the front, with a rope swing tied to one of the thick branches, was something out of a movie. It was picturesque, nestled onto a street in the small lake town that Pax and his brother grew up in.

Photos of the family hung on every wall, with old sunken couches that looked loved sitting in front of a cozy fireplace in the living room. For years, when we were hooking up, I’d wanted to know as much as I could about the Shaw family. I wanted to be introduced, to listen to his mom’s stories about Pax as a little boy, to drive up here for holidays and become a part of them.

Coming to this house was like a treasure trove of unanswered questions that I’d always had. But it was also bittersweet, because I was here after his parents had passed. Part of me was a little sour that it had taken Pax so long to realize what we could be together, because he’d wasted time and in doing so, I’d never become close to his parents.

At the same time, I knew he was thinking some of those same thoughts, and I didn’t want to burden him with my small amount of anger.

Over the past two days, I’d met and spent time with Dylan, Pax’s brother. He was quieter than his brother, but just like Pax, he had a hell of a charming personality too. It was like the more silent he was, the more you wanted to try to get him to smile. And where Pax was blond, Dylan was dark, with almost jet-black hair and dark, stormy eyes.

Today, all three of us had spent the day on the half-frozen lake near their house, and they’d tried to teach me how to fish. After trying for half an hour, and getting no bites and not really understanding the point of the whole thing, I picked up my book and read. It was fun, and even though we didn’t say much, it was the companionship that equaled bonding.

And now we were inside, the fire roaring in the living room, while Pax and I cleared the dishes from dinner.

“Dylan really didn’t have to stay at a hotel.” I felt bad that he’d left, giving Pax and I some alone time.

Although, it was kind of nice, imagining what it would be like if we lived in this big house, filled it with kids, grew old together …

Pax’s voice snaps me out of my daydream. “He’s happy to do it, babe … honestly, I think he’s hooking up with one of our old high school friends who still lives here and he wanted somewhere private to go.”

“Does he date much?” I wondered if Dylan had the same history with women that his brother did.

Pax shrugs. “Honestly, we never talked about girls much, don’t know why. Although he did tell me before that he really likes you. And that if I ever mess things up, he’ll cut my nuts off himself. So, thanks, I think my brother likes you better than me.”

“As he should.” I wink, drying a bowl.

Pax wipes his hands off, the suds slipping into the sink as he hands me the last piece of silverware to dry. I’d insisted on cleaning up the old-fashioned way, something about it just seemed right in this snowy, homey environment.

“I think we need to be done with cleaning dishes.” He hugs me from behind, his hands snaking around my waist and his fingers pulling at the waistband of my leggings.

“You’re incorrigible.” I laugh, because all we’ve done in the past two days, when we weren’t with Dylan, is make love.

Not that I’m complaining, being intimate with Pax again is like biting into a chocolate ice cream cone after giving up ice cream for eight years.

“And? What’s your point? Take it as a compliment that I can’t get enough of you. You drive me fucking insane, Demi.” He growls into my neck, his teeth sinking into the soft skin there.

I can’t help the moan that escapes my lips, and I set down the last kitchen item before I break something.

“How do you want me?” I want to hear him detail every dirty thing he’s going to do. Pax has always been particularly skilled when it comes to dirty talk.

And tonight, I don’t want slow and sensual.

“How do you want me?” He flips the tables.

I pause, wondering if I can reveal the thing I’ve dreamt about for so long. I’ve never had the guts to try it with anyone else … and I’m not sure why. I don’t know why I’ve been so shy about sex, except with Pax. Maybe he just brings out the side of me that feels comfortable expressing what turns me on.

“Well, there is this one fantasy, or actually we’ve done it already, that I have thought about many times over the years.” I sigh as his lips hit my neck, and my legs wrap more tightly around his waist.

The cold edge of the counter seeps through my leggings, and it’s a scintillating contrast to the way my core is absolutely burning.

“And what is that?”

I blush, even if he can’t see it, because thinking about our younger years makes me crazy with lust. We were animals, always drawn to each other.

“Remember the night of the Halloween party at the lacrosse house off campus? They had those Jell-O shots made with Everclear and everyone kept trying to jump off the roof into the pool?”

It had been a wild night, and one that had been hazy in my memory. But lord did I remember going back to Pax’s bedroom.

“Oh shit, yeah … my friend Bobby almost broke his neck doing that.” He picks his head up and laughs, and I can see he’s been transported back to that night.

“Do you remember what we did that night, in your bedroom?” My smile is devilish, and the tight buds of my breasts tingle with the memory.

I can see the gears working in Pax’s brain, and then I see it, the instant they all click. “Fuck … that was hot. Damn, I’d forgotten about that.”

I nod, knowing he is thinking what I’m thinking. “What do you say we give it a try, for old time’s sake?”

Pax pushes his hands up inside of my long sleeve T-shirt, making me shiver with need. “I’m not the spring chicken I used to be, babe. I’m an old man now, what if I break a hip.”

I scoff. “I think we’ve tested the limits of those hips recently, and I think you’ll be just fine.”

His hands travel up, finding their way to my bare breasts, and he rolls each nipple in between his fingers. “You’re the finest one in the room.”

Lips come at me full force, and I guess I’ve convinced him, because we’re mauling each other in the middle of the kitchen counter before I know it.

Heat licks up my spine, through the flesh of my thighs, burning my cheeks. Suddenly, my clothes feel too constricting, they’re scalding me, and I need them off.

I’m not sure who starts the undressing, but in record time, we’ve shed all clothing, and I think Pax shreds my underwear in the process. Who knows, who cares. My head is spinning, and all I can focus on is the ball of need pooling low in my core. He is everywhere, biting my neck, sucking my tingling nipples, moving down the counter, his knees hitting the hardwood floor as he spreads my thighs around his head.

“Oh fuck!” I buck off the counter, not even embarrassed by the curse that just left my lips.

He’s eating me alive, his teeth scraping against my swollen nub and nearly sending me over the edge. I see his right hand disappear, and then his muscles beginning to work. I realize he’s jerking himself, as he feasts on my body, and it’s so hot that my orgasm steals over me before I can even take a lungful of air in.

I writhe, gripping the edge of the counter to keep upright, or from collapsing and hurting myself. My climax is white hot, making my vision fuzzy as every limb sings with ecstasy.

I’m barely conscious when Pax stands, grabbing me and moving to the wall. Instinctually, my legs come around his waist, and I press my lips into his neck, awaiting the invasion.

It comes with a burn and two groans of pleasure, echoing through the dark, silent house.

Pax isn’t gentle. He impales me, up against that wall, the same exquisite feeling that I felt all those years ago coursing through my body. He whispers in my ear as he fucks me, and that’s what it is, fucking.

“Your pussy feels like a fucking vise.”

“Scream for me, baby.”

“Who is the only one who knows how to fuck you?”

And while he talks dirty to me, he grips my neck, looking me straight in the eyes.

It’s lust, but it’s also love.

And Paxton is the only man I’ll ever feel both for.