CHAPTER FIVE
IT WAS PAST ELEVEN but the night was warm enough, even in November, for Maybe to be on the porch as she drank her tea and looked at the stars. While layered up in all her fleece, naturally.
Even in the middle of their quiet suburban neighborhood there was still activity. Houses here and there had lights on.
Next door at the Orlovs, the family dinner had been raucous enough that Maybe heard it from time to time. Mostly it had sounded festive, but a few times she was pretty sure she was overhearing an argument.
She’d come home from work, hung out with Rachel and Cora after band practice was over and still wasn’t quite ready for bed. So Maybe’d opted for fresh air and the stars for quiet company and wasn’t disappointed at all to catch sight of Alexsei stalking from Irena and Pavel’s place next door.
Maybe considered remaining silent and letting him go. But he was right there. And she wanted his company, even for a little while. So she raised a hand and called out quietly.
He turned, starting a little when he noticed her on the porch. He paused, his body tense in the yellowy light of the streetlamp.
Then he headed over to her.
“How was dinner?” she asked when he climbed the front steps.
“Irena is a good cook. I’m full.”
Which in Alexsei-speak would normally answer the question. If the food was good and he was full, it was a successful dinner. But he had a hesitation around his eyes as well as the set of his shoulders.
She waited, wondering if he’d elaborate. He didn’t.
“Would you like a cup of tea?” she asked at last.
“No. Do you have alcohol?”
Ouch. “That kind of dinner, huh? Yeah, come on in.” Maybe unlocked the three front door locks and indicated he join her inside.
“Did you just get home?” he asked as she locked up once they were in the front hall and set the alarm.
“No. I’ve been back a few hours or so. Why?”
“The door was locked many times. Is everything all right?” He frowned and it made her tingly.
“We always lock the door, even when we’re home. Let’s hang out in my room. That way we won’t bug Rachel. Then I’ll explain.”
One corner of his mouth lifted slightly and she rolled her eyes as she grabbed a bottle and some glasses.
Maybe realized, as she led him down the four steps to the side of the house her bedroom inhabited, that he’d never been in there before.
Cool.
“Make yourself comfortable. I just need to run up and check on something.” She wanted to touch base with Rachel briefly. Her sister didn’t need surprises.
On the other side of the house, Rachel lay in her bed, surrounded by sketchbooks, her e-reader, comics, and whatever flotsam and jetsam that amused her at any given time.
“I’ve got a wild Russian bearded barber in my bed right now. Well,” Maybe amended, “in my room. The bed part is one of those wish fulfillment things. Anyhoodle. I just wanted to let you know what was up and that if you hear me screaming about God it was probably due to orgasms and other lady business.”
Then she froze and regretted her words. Oh a joke about screaming to her sister who’d been held captive by a madman for three weeks. So stupid!
But she didn’t apologize, knowing it would only start a thing between her and her sister.
Rachel’s face lit with recognition and then annoyance. “Oh for fuck’s sake, Maybe. You can’t remove every single word that might apply to something horrible that happened to me from your life. Mainly because you talk too much for that to be anything near a reality. But also, I’m not that fragile. I promise.”
“I know you’re not fragile. Jesus. You’re the strongest, bravest person I know. I’m sorry if I made you feel like that. I just want to protect you and I go too far. I’m sorry.”
“Stop apologizing. You and me are fine. We always have been. I’m a work in progress and you let me be. That’s what makes everything okay. Now go on down to your wild bearded barber before he thinks you’ve escaped out the back door.” Rachel gave her a last, exasperated but affectionate smile before turning her attention back to the pad on her lap.
Maybe knew Rachel still checked every single window and door several times a day. Their security system was top-of-the-line and ridiculous and her sister reset it at least weekly, but it was one of the only things that had helped Rachel sleep at night when they’d first moved in to the house.
But Maybe had never thought of that as weak. Just the opposite. Every day Rachel woke up and lived her life and sometimes it was just a matter of making it without ending up in a weeping ball in the shower. But those days seemed less and less frequent, and Maybe liked that a great deal.
Alexsei was in her room where she’d left him. He’d made himself at home as she’d directed, splayed out in the chair near the bed, the bottle and glasses on the bedside table.
He’d even unbuttoned the top two shirt buttons, exposing his throat. Sending her heartbeat into a few salsa thumps.
Finally. After years of playing this scenario over in her head, he was actually in her room. In. Her. Room.
She kicked off her slippers and got onto her bed so she sat across from him. He handed her a glass filled with vodka and they clinked before taking the shot.
“I know it’s sort of stereotypical to hand a Russian vodka for shots and all.”
He sighed, as he often did when she just blurted out whatever.
“Some stereotypes are based on things that are true often enough to be a stereotype.”
“I really love your accent.”
He paused and then shook his head slowly. With a smile. “I like vodka. So thank you. Why are there so many locks on your door? Are you afraid?”
She frowned, not expecting this direction in the conversation. It wasn’t as if what happened to Rachel had been a secret. FBI agent tracking a serial killer gets kidnapped and barely survives that same serial killer. It was gangbusters for all the news cycles. Grist for click bait and the subject of a true crime book written by a woman who cashed in on the misery of others as a living.
But it was Rachel’s story. Her life and Maybe tried to respect that without making what she’d gone through seem like a shameful secret.
“We take home security very seriously around here. Rachel was an FBI agent so this is sort of her thing.”
“She killed the man who harmed her, didn’t she? Is there still a threat?”
He wasn’t being deliberately provocative or anything. She’d noticed over the years she’d known him that he was just blunt. Like the rest of his family, she supposed.
“I’m the one who wants a drink now,” she mumbled.
It was a joke. Sort of. He didn’t take it as such, however, handing her a refilled glass with a serious expression.
She raised it before drinking, the burn helping overcome the unreality of all these things in her life intersecting at once.
“It’s really odd having you here in my room. I mean, I’ve thought about it before and you’ve been in the house a few times. Thanks for helping us move the new couch in, by the way.”
He appeared mildly stunned but not offended or scared. Amused probably because she was prone to these little spells as Vic referred to them.
“So yeah, the locks. When we have a safe house, it’s easier.”
“It makes Rachel more comfortable to feel safe after what she endured. This makes sense to me.”
He nodded and she realized—not for the first time—how nice it was that he was so plainspoken. He didn’t try to shield her or take over for her. He just listened and reacted to what she’d said without artifice.
“So now it’s your turn to talk about your night,” she urged.
“Family.” The way he said it pretty much explained the situation. But she waited and finally he sighed long and spoke again. “Cristian wants our mother’s approval. Seth insulted her, and though not on purpose it still causes problems.” He shrugged.
“She doesn’t visit very often. Does she, I mean, is she still involved in your life enough to have that matter? Or, I guess it’s not really about that when it comes to family. Sometimes we want things that will never happen.”
“She’s our mother. Cristian was younger than me when we came here. He feels her absence differently, I suppose.”
“Is it the gay thing? I know there are some problems in Russia with how LGBTQA folks are treated.”
“It might be if we lived there. But we don’t. As far as I can tell she doesn’t care about that. Never has that I’ve seen. But her community most likely would. And they’d most likely care about the cop thing way more than the gay thing. Seth is a cop. I’m not sure if you knew that.”
She had, and given the number of cops in her family, she’d accepted it with a shrug. He seemed to make Alexsei’s sweet brother very happy, so that was the biggest deal anyway.
“Her community?”
He gave her a look and then shrugged. “Her husband is involved in organized crime. From all my exposure to him and his compatriots, they are small-minded except when it comes to money.”
“Oh.” What the hell did you say to that? Well, Maybe knew what she would say probably wouldn’t be what anyone else would. So what would a normal person say to this?
He laughed though. A big, booming laugh that made her want to rub all over him.
“Oh? Zajka, you must be biting your tongue so hard not to comment more.” His mouth did some stuff and she might have gone away for a few long moments as she struggled not to lean in and lick it.
“Zajka?” She sounded slightly intoxicated. Or probably she was slightly intoxicated and also really turned on.
“Yes, an endearment. Ah, like bunny or rabbit?”
He’d used an endearment on her?
“Do you want to hear what I thought then?”
“If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be here. Or I’d tell you.”
He probably would. Which was nice too. Also his underlining that he was there on purpose.
“I just wondered what the heck one was supposed to say when told someone was married to the mob. I mean, are you part of that?”
“I’m not. It’s one of the reasons my brother and I were sent here. To her credit, my mother saw that I was interested in the street life her husband lived and she sent us far away.”
“But your sisters are there?” That sounded so judgy, but what the fuck? Who did that? Then again, she remembered her own parents and that humbled her quite a bit.
“They’re his. Her husband’s. He didn’t care that she sent us here. In fact I think he preferred it that way. My sisters are in boarding school in Switzerland. I’d normally frown upon that, but it keeps them out of that mess for most of the year so I accept the rest.”
Maybe nodded. Understanding. “So it was one of those family dinners where everyone had super high expectations of everyone else and no one met them and everyone left unsettled and slightly dissatisfied?”
“Exactly so.”
She wanted to dig deeper. Wanting to understand him better. But she also could tell from his body language that he’d shared all he was going to for that moment.
Over the years, he’d given her bits and pieces of his story and each time had felt like a gift. And now she wanted more.
“Can I do anything to help? Make it better somehow?”
His gaze sharpened and landed on her like a physical thing that stole her breath.
Was he going to request something dirty?
God she hoped so.
Instead he said, “Just listening helped. Also the vodka.”
“Okay. Well good.” She pulled her legs up, folding them beneath her.
“Talk more,” he said.
“I wish you’d kiss me.”
Hmm. She wasn’t sure she’d meant to say that out loud. But now that she had, she wasn’t sorry.
Especially when he put his glass down and leaned toward her.
He muttered something in Russian but she forgot to ask him what he’d said when he brushed his lips against hers, bringing a slight gasp from her at the sensation.
It wasn’t so much hesitant as exploratory. He took his time, tasting, testing. Taking. Oh yes, and she wanted to give.
Oh his flavor...a little vodka, a little tobacco—she knew he snuck out to smoke pungent black French cigarettes when he got stressed—anise perhaps. But there’d never been anything like it in her life and it fit him so well it left her slightly unsettled.
He knew his way around a woman’s mouth, that was for sure. His tongue was sure as it swept against hers, sending a wave of pleasure through her. He wasn’t going to be rushed or moved in any way but what he wanted.
He was just so calmly...in charge that it got her all worked up.
And that was before he nipped her bottom lip as he pulled back, making her whimper.
“Okay, that was worth waiting for,” she said a little more breathlessly than she’d planned.
His amused look was back. “Yes, yes it was. I’m relieved you agree. Now, you were going to talk more.”
“Is this so you don’t have to talk about your family?” Also, couldn’t they just kiss more instead?
“You’re very suspicious, zajka.”
Oh! The pet name again? He was going to kill her with adorable and then she’d die without having sexed him up. Which seemed totally unacceptable now that she’d made her mind up that she had to have him.
Briefly, she wondered if she should articulate that to him, but she decided against it. However, she did really want to know why he’d made up his mind to have her right back.
“People keep telling me that. I prefer curious. Why are you...why now?” she asked, flapping a hand back and forth between them.
He did this thing with his eyebrow and it was...well imperious. That wasn’t new. He did it at work all the time.
But now? What he gave her was something else. More sexy and haughty than imperious. Though that was always there because it was part and parcel of his makeup.
And now he gave her that look as the two of them shared a pretty small space. She’d never actually been in any situation half as intimate as the one they shared right then. His voice still seemed to strike some sort of chord deep within her, but it had softened at the edges. Like a touch.
“Why now? You know, as I do, that it’s always been there between us. But when you first came along there was Rada so I would not allow my thoughts to go any further than flirtation.”
“And now there’s no Rada.” Thank goodness.
He laughed and she found herself loving that sound. Wanting it more as she always had.
“But after Rada, you didn’t come for me.” She thought of the women he’d chosen over her and wanted to growl.
He winced. “I had some things to get out of my system. I wasn’t ready to come for you until I could get past the fact that I am your boss. I’m there, in case you wanted to know.
“And tonight, I came out of my aunt’s house and you were there. You called my name and I came. It seems this has been my path from the moment you hurtled into the shop two years ago.”
It made her feel...special that he’d said such things to her. And wildly flattered and beautiful.
“Oh. Well. That’s good. I mean, yeah. I like that.” She flapped a hand.
“Have I rendered you without coherent speech?” he teased.
“Don’t worry too much,” she managed, “it never lasts very long. My will to talk is pretty strong.”
“That’s been my experience.”
She sent him her own version of the raised brow.
He just smiled at her.
* * *
HE’D BEEN ESCAPING the house. Needing to be the hell away from the stupid drama of the evening.
Alexsei had managed to drag his mother back from the edge while Cris reined Seth in. Things weren’t totally settled, and he wasn’t sure they’d ever be. But for the time being they’d all survive to fight again another day.
But then there’d been a card game and Alexsei had headed out the back door, intending to walk around the block a few times when he’d heard his name and she’d been there.
And then she’d drawn him inside, into the heart of her home. He’d been moved by that. Nearly as much as the way she blushed when he spoke to her.
The placed smelled of her. Spicy sweet. He’d been expecting...well, he wasn’t sure what he’d been expecting but it hadn’t been the feminine blue walls and the mounds of pillows and soft blankets on her—made—bed.
A mess with piles of clothes and books, now that was what he’d envisioned. The books were there. Hell, books seemed to be everywhere in the room. They lined shelves with framed pictures and a lot of art tucked here and there.
She’d shown him her truest self and he’d been unable to resist, though he hadn’t tried very hard, when she’d said she wanted a kiss.
Kissing that mouth had been something he’d put a great deal of thought into over the last two years. He’d wondered what the piercing would feel like and he’d discovered it felt fucking awesome.
Sexy. Like most everything about her.
It was better than his wildest dreams. Her taste still rang through him. They’d clicked in a way he’d never quite experienced before.
“So. Now it’s your turn. Tell me something,” she said.
“What do you want to know?”
“Why did you break up with Rada?”
Surprised, he gave her an assessing look. “Neither of us really wanted to be with one another anymore. The wedding planning had started and I realized I couldn’t go through with it. Even to make our families happy.”
“So you’re still friends now?” She winced, obviously not intending to sound so nosy about his status. But he liked it because he knew she was truly interested.
“Not as such.” Though they’d known one another for years, they hadn’t had much in common outside of that connection. And once they’d stopped having sex, they’d lost the last threads holding their relationship together. There wasn’t anything between them to hold a friendship beyond romance and sex, despite the fact that he’d known her as long as he had.
“She’s close with Evie—Vic’s little sister—so I see her frequently enough but we’re not what I would call friends.” She was simply part of the family, though not his fiancée anymore.
“Because she’s so helpless and annoying?”
He began to argue but it was impossible to do so with a straight face so he didn’t bother. Rada was smarter than a lot of people gave her credit for, but she did expect things to be done for her. To be taken care of. “Not all women are like you.”
“Lucky for you, then, I guess.”
“I can’t find fault with that statement. Family visits notwithstanding.”
“Look at you. I’ve been watching you as you took a dip in the sea of pussy since your broken engagement. You didn’t turn this level of game on any of those ladies. Not that I saw. You just gave them broody, sultry and mysterious and they hopped aboard. And who could blame them?”
He shook his head. “Sixty percent of whatever you say makes no sense at all. Are you aware of this?”
“I totally make sense! You’re really going above and beyond here is what I’m saying. I like it that you’re bringing everything you’ve got to the table and not just relying on that face of yours. And the accent of course. Man oh man. And the way you smell and look in general. How is that not making sense?”
“How do you know I don’t have game with them behind closed doors?”
Her grin was quick and bright. “I’m sure you know what to do with your cock. In fact, I’m counting on it.”
“I find your bluntness when it comes to sex quite delightful,” he told her, meaning every word.
She blushed again, ducking her head a moment before speaking once more. “Anyway, if you spoke to any of those women the way you have to me tonight, they’d be at the shop every day making cow eyes at you. Nah, you give ’em the accent and you give ’em a ride and then after a few weeks they’re gone.”
The truth was, he hadn’t said any of this to those women because it wouldn’t have been true. And he didn’t need pretty lies to get between a woman’s thighs. All the sex, and the fucking around, had been about burning off energy. The women he’d been with knew that and had been as into it for the sex as he had.
“Does this mean you’ll be making cow eyes at me now?” he teased—albeit a little hopefully. She was not the same as anyone he’d been with before. What he felt when he was with her was not the same.
“Depends on what else you do when you sex me up. I mean, if you’re magic or something, I might have to.”
“Being with you is like riding a roller coaster.”
“Do you like roller coasters?” she asked.
He nodded.
“All right then.”
He stood, meaning to settle on her bed with her until his phone buzzed in his pocket and he remembered he was only going to take a walk and he’d been there for at least an hour.
And a look at the screen told him he was correct that they’d noticed his absence.
“Is everything all right?” Maybe asked as she stood as well.
He typed that he’d be right back and put the phone away before taking her face in his hands and kissing her.
He didn’t want to go back over there. He wanted to stay here, with her scent all around him. So he could watch her face as she spoke, animated and so freaking full of energy.
He really didn’t want to break the kiss he’d started to delay leaving and now felt like the best thing he’d ever experienced. She seemed to melt against him, her body snugged up against his, her curves calling to him so he gave in, sliding his hands down her body to her hips. She gasped and he sucked in the sound.
Need seemed to gather low in his belly as his cock throbbed in time with his thundering pulse.
She was fire. Her skin seemed to sear the palms of his hands as they roamed. This was what he’d needed. What he’d wanted from the first he’d met her. Her taste, her body against his.
He could have fucked women for years and not felt this level of intimacy and connection and that humbled him.
Once he was able to drag his mouth from the kiss, he touched his forehead to hers a moment before stepping back. “I was only escaping for a walk in the fresh air. I need to accompany my mother back to her hotel. Cristian’s taking her back now so I have to leave. Believe me when I tell you I’d rather be here.”
“I get it. We’re still on tomorrow night?”
“Yes. I’ll be out most of the day as my mom’s plane leaves in the late afternoon.”
“You know where I’ll be. Just let me know.”
He kissed her again and then made himself walk out of the house and over to where his family had spilled out into the yard saying goodbyes. Half of them would be at the airport tomorrow to say goodbye again, but it wasn’t as if they saw one another very often.
“Wherever have you been?” Vic asked in an undertone as he approached.
“I had a drink with Maybe.”
“And?”
“And now I need to ride with my brother and his fiancé and our mother to her hotel and pretend there’s no tension. I’m overjoyed to have been torn away from Maybe’s bedroom for that.”
Vic’s smile flashed quickly. “Sorry about that.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he told his cousin as he held the car door for his mother.