Chapter One
Hack
Tossing back a shot of Jose’, I look around the clubhouse. Music and laughter fill the common room as the Grim Bastards celebrate bringing on a new member. After two years as a prospect, the kid has finally earned his cut. He is sprawled out in a chair, right in the center of the room. One club whore is riding him hard; another has her tits in his face. All the while, the brothers are standing around him with big smiles on their faces.
Boz, our President, is even here, with his old lady by his side. Unlike most women, Trix is smiling just as big as the brothers. I guess, after growing up in her dad’s biker club, she’s used to this kind of shit. When I hear her shout for the whores to give it to him good, I can’t hold in my laugh.
Looking away from her, my eyes land on Smoke standing near the bar. By the smile on our VP’s face and the half-empty bottle of Jack in his hand, he’s having a damn good time partying. Of course, his woman is right by his side. Judging by the alcohol-induced glaze in her eyes, Gidget seems to be enjoying herself just as much as her old man.
Even though they’re both having fun, I can tell Smoke doesn’t want to be sharing all of Gidget’s time with the entire club anymore. Tonight is the first time Smoke’s been at a club party since he and Gidget moved into their own place. The prospects spent more than a month working on that old dump Stone called a house before she and Smoke moved in there with Gidget’s son. It still isn’t a fucking mansion, but it’s a hell of a lot better than it was, and they all seem to enjoy living away from the clubhouse.
Thinking back to the time I had with my old lady, I have to wonder if things would have been different if we had done the same thing. If we had, would we have had kids? Would we have argued less and laughed more if we hadn’t spent every night at the clubhouse? If I had pulled my finger out of my ass and gotten us our own place, had we started living our lives separate from the club, would Holly still be by my side and not buried in the ground.
Smoke makes no bones about the fact he wants to be a family with his old lady and her son, something he probably thought he would never want. I never felt that way, never even considered being more than what Holly and I were. Now, with her gone, I can’t help but wonder why I didn’t want the same thing for myself and my old lady.
“Want another shot?” a club whore asks, drawing me back to the here and now.
She makes sure to bend down to eye level, giving me a glimpse of her barely covered tits. Can’t deny the bitch has a nice rack. I’ve had them in my hands and my mouth more than once. If fact, I’ve even had my cock buried between them a time or two. Tonight, though, I don’t want her or her tits anywhere near me. I’m sitting in the corner, away from everyone, because I want to be left alone.
Shaking my head, I shift away from her. “Nah, I’m good.”
“You needing anything else?” She leans closer, sliding a hand over my denim covered cock. “You know I would do anything for you, Hack.”
She runs her fingers up and down my length, and the fucker doesn’t even twitch. Her hand tightens a bit, giving me a squeeze, and then a puzzled look crosses her face as my dick stays just as soft as it was before she touched it.
I ignore the club whore’s wandering fingers and scan the room once again, seeing Round sitting on our old couch with Lisa straddling his lap. If they both weren’t fully clothed, I would think they were fucking. Instead, she is just grinding against him.
Some of the brothers didn’t like the fact that Round made what they considered a club whore his old lady, but I don’t have a problem with it. As far as I’m concerned, Lisa was never a club whore. Yeah, she may have slept with quite a few of the brothers, even me, but Lisa was always more than just a club whore. She ran the girls, took care of them and the brothers. Lisa is a good woman, and she has made one hell of an old lady for Round.
I watch them for a second more, until Round stands up, his hands holding onto her ass, while Lisa wraps her legs around his waist. He stomps to the hallway, his lips never leaving hers. I laugh, knowing the fucking will commence shortly.
Obviously, the whore is tired of being ignored, so she gets on her knees and starts unbuttoning my jeans. She pulls me out before I can even utter a word. Then, her mouth is on me, slurping me back into her throat. She’s trying hard to get my cock to come to life, but she could try all night and it wouldn’t work. It’s not her fault; it’s the fact that the image of Pru’s body under mine is the only thing that has my dick rising to attention these days.
Gently pushing her away, I zip up and shake my head. “Not in the mood, babe.”
She doesn’t say anything as she walks away, and neither do I. What can I say? It’s not like I want the whole club knowing the only way I can get it up is to think about some chick they don’t even know exists.
When I first left Pru, I knew she wouldn’t be easy to forget. Still, I didn’t think she would be on my mind after all this time. It sure as hell doesn’t help that she has been blowing up my phone for the last five months. That’s not exactly true. Her calls have slowed down. Now, I only get a text message every few weeks. I’m dreading the day they stop altogether.
I haven’t read any of them, though, not fucking one. Haven’t listened to her voicemails either. I just can’t hear her voice or see the words she has sent me. I’m afraid if I do, I’ll be back on my bike and heading to her. The last thing a good woman like Pru needs is a messed-up fucker like me pulling her down.
I’m lost in my thoughts when Brew walks over and takes a seat next to me. “You doing okay?”
“I’m good,” I say, motioning for the prospect to bring us a round of beers.
Brew waits until the prospect sets two bottles in front of us and walks away, then asks, “Are you sure, brother?”
I nod, not even bothering to look at him. “Hell yeah. Got a cold one in my hand and a clubhouse full of brothers. Couldn’t be better.”
“When you first came back from the road, you seemed to be in a better place,” he says, causing me to look his way.
After my Holly died, I was completely lost. I drowned my sorrows in whiskey and pussy. I can’t even count how many times I woke up with a hangover and the smell of some club whore’s cunt all over my body. Still, nothing eased my pain. If anything, it just made it worse
Finally, I got to the point that Boz told me it was time to hit the road. He said nothing healed the soul like feeling the wind on your face as your bike ate up the miles. He was right, but he was also wrong. Riding helped, but being with Pru healed me. Hell, just looking at her smile made me forget how totally fucked up my life was. Now, being back, I’m reminded every damn day. I’m also feeling a hell of a lot of guilt that another woman made me forget the pain of losing my old lady.
Taking a drink, I try to wash away thoughts of Holly’s death and Pru from my mind. “I’m fine, brother.”
“Just checking on you,” he says, his eyes searching my face. “Here lately, you seem to be right back on that same path you were on before you left.”
“Just got a lot on my mind,” I answer as Pru’s face flashes through my brain, followed closely by the sight of my old lady being lowered into the ground.
“You know Holly would want you to move on. She’d want you to be happy,” he says, as if he can read my mind.
Anger fills my voice when I ask, “What the fuck are you talking about?”
Brew doesn’t back down. Instead, he lays it out for me. “Lately, you’re not interested in anything that doesn’t come out of a bottle, including pussy. So, I’m figuring you left a woman on the road that you’re wishing you hadn’t.”
I wanna be pissed. I want to tell him it’s none of his fucking business. Instead, I nod my head and start telling him about Pru, finishing by saying, “She’s too fucking good for me.”
“Addy’s too good for me, but I don’t give a fuck,” he says, his eyes scanning the room for his old lady. “The woman’s mine, and she’ll just have to deal with my ass. I’m not giving her a choice.”
I follow his gaze, finding Addy walking toward her man. “Doesn’t seem she minds being your old lady.”
“Maybe this woman wouldn’t mind being yours. Even if she does, don’t give her a choice. We’re Grim Bastards. We take want we want,” he says, as he pushes himself from the chair and heads toward his old lady.
I watch as he reaches her then pulls her into his arms. When he starts to whisper in her ear, I turn away and do the one thing I have been wanting to do since the day I walked out of Pru’s house. Pulling out my phone, my finger clicks on her text.
The latest one starts off with, “This is the last text you’ll ever get from me. After this, forget we ever met, ‘cause that’s what…”
I blink my eyes, not willing to read what else she has to say. I look away from the phone, trying to force her words away. Some days, I may want to forget her, but I know that will never happen. I sure as hell don’t want Pru forgetting me, even though it would probably be better if she did.
Obviously, I need to start at the beginning. Scrolling up, I start reading messages from months ago. I look through the first few, which all basically say the same thing, asking if I plan on ever coming back and telling me how much she misses me. Finally, they turn angry, letting me know she would never spend a penny of the money I left her. She adds that I’m not the man she thought I was, and she thought she meant more to me than this.
Then, they began to sound almost desperate, begging me to call her, saying she has to tell me something. Each one seems more frantic than the last. With each word I read, dread fills me and my stomach starts to tie in knots. Something has happened, but I have no fucking idea what it is.
I finally get to the end of the texts, back to the last one she sent. If I had been standing as I read it, it would’ve brought me to my knees.
“This is the last text you’ll ever get from me. After this, forget we ever met, ‘cause that’s what I plan to do. But I couldn’t live with myself without telling you. Just thought you should know, you have a daughter.”