School the next day is brutal. The weekend, stress and lack of sleep are catching up to me as the week progresses. I make it and go to soccer practice then take the time to shower and change quickly. I don’t know why, but I feel the urge to dress a little better, maybe because I feel like I owe Molly after all the years she’s posing as my sister.

Exhausted, I go to community service and pray for it to pass quickly. I text Ari as I enter in forms. I’m in long sleeves and a scarf, which earns me one snide comment from Wendy on the way in. I’m so self-conscious about my neck. It hurts to talk too loudly. I’m trying to remember how long my first set of Robert-inflicted bruises took to heal, because the marks on my neck aren’t getting any lighter yet.

“Hey.” Dom’s voice makes me freeze.

I look over past the desk beside me into the hallway. He’s dressed as he was for the self-defense class, when we played basketball. There’s no sling.

“Hey,” I say.

“Wanna shoot hoops?”

“Didn’t you just get shot?” I ask, baffled.

“I heal fast.” He moves away. I watch him disappear down the hallway. It takes me a second to register he’s serious. I bolt up, smack my knee against my desk and mutter a few curses. The woman across from me glances up. I step out of the office into the hallway.

My heart is pounding by the time I reach the gym. I take a breath to steady my nerves. I walk in, not expecting the gym to be empty, except for us.

Dom is shooting with his right arm only. I still can’t believe he’s been shot and is here playing basketball a few days later. I step out of my heels then walk onto the court to catch a rebound. I shoot but don’t get anywhere near the basket. I really can’t focus. There’s too much I want to say and as always, nothing comes out.

We shoot back and forth for a few minutes. I sneak looks at him.

“One-on-one?” he asks after about ten minutes.

“Are you okay to play?” I ask doubtfully.

“Sure. No worries.”

I go to the top of the key, and he tosses me the ball then trots to face me.

I hesitate. I know if I let myself continue, I won’t tell him what I need to. If I don’t end it when I have the chance, I never will, and I’ll regret ruining his life forever.

“I’m like a hurricane. I tend to fuck up everything around me,” I start clumsily. Already, I’ve forgotten my carefully crafted speech.

Dom steps close enough to take the ball. I meet his dark eyes. His gaze is direct, intent.

“What’s wrong?” he asks and drops the ball.

“I’ll only cause you misery, Dom.” My heart beats fast, more so when he reaches out to me. I notice this time that Ari’s right. I don’t flinch for Dom.

He unwinds my scarf. I might as well be naked. He says nothing as he takes in the bruises on my neck and face. I can’t even look at the marks in the mirror. They make me feel sick. I don’t know what to think of Dom’s silence and scrutiny.

“Just another day at the women’s center,” I try to joke.

“This won’t happen again.” There’s anger in his voice.

I search his face. Yeah, this Dom is definitely different than the upbeat, detached police officer. This Dom is affected by what he sees and intense, not in a violent, unpredictable way like Robert, but more in an I-don’t-lose way like Chris. He drops his hands and rubs his mouth, the way he did when he listened to my statement a few weeks ago. His expression is one I recognize: he’s trying to figure out what to do.

This time, I don’t have to guess about what, and I’m not about to let someone else make this call.

“Dom, we can’t be friends or … anything,” I say hoarsely.

His gaze is riveted to mine.

“We can’t be in each other’s lives at all.”

“Where’s this coming from?” he asks in a hushed tone. “Your father?”

“No,” I reply. “I’ll ruin your life. I can’t let that happen. I respect you too much.”

It is, by far, my worst speech ever. I don’t even try to sugar coat it and I feel like I should say more.

I start away, quick to put my back to him because I’m afraid he’ll see my face and more afraid to witness the expression on his.

This is harder than I thought it would be.

“Mia, wait,” he says.

I stop.

A long silence settles between us.

“I respect your decision, even if I don’t agree,” Dom says finally. “For what it’s worth, I’m proud of you. It takes a lot of courage to do what you’ve done.”

“It took someone dying for me to do the right thing.”

“But you did it.”

Another silence falls.

“Do what you need to do to heal,” he adds quietly. “If you want to talk, I’m always here for you.”

God, he kills me with how sweet he is! I don’t know what to say. I don’t want to eject him from my life, but it’s for his own good and … maybe my own. If he really does die in the line of duty, I don’t think I can handle it and definitely not right now. I don’t know what I want. I don’t know what I’m thinking.

I leave the gym.

This pain is different than any I’ve gone through the past few months. Knowing I’ve disappointed Dom – again! – is somehow worse.

He deserves better, I chant to myself.

The remainder of my shift passes in a blur of texts to Ari and forms. It’s soon over, and I flee the shelter. Only when I’m in the back of my protective SUV do I relax enough to think about what I’ve done.

I want to take it all back. I want to text Dom and tell him I’ll meet him for coffee or basketball or ice cream.

Pulling out my phone, I stare at his contact. I have four voicemails and one text from Joseph. But my eyes are on Dom’s name. I delete his contact and wipe away tears. I can’t bring myself to delete our text conversations.

My phone rings, and my heart somersaults. It’s Ari, not Dom. I swallow my tears before answering.

“Did you do it?” she asks quietly.

“Yeah.”

“Are you okay?”

“Not really,” I admit. “But I had to do it.”

Hearing the firmness of my tone, Ari takes pity on me and changes the subject. “Benji won’t leave me alone, Mia.”

“Seriously? Tell your dad.”

“I want him to stop calling, not disappear off the face of the planet.”

“I’m telling you, Ari, you don’t want him trapping you in a back alley one day. You have no idea what can happen.”

“I know. I just don’t want to make a big issue out of this.”

“Big issue?” I repeat. “He raped someone, Ari. He deserves no consideration at all! In fact, if your daddy blows him up, he’ll deserve it.”

“I guess.”

“You will tell your dad tomorrow.”

Ari gives a noisy sigh.

“Or I will,” I add.

“Fine.”

“Good.” I’m not joking. I’ll pay her dad to murder Benji. “We have to take care of each other.”

Stressed out and exhausted, I end up hanging up before hearing the latest gossip at school.

I can’t stop thinking about Dom and how I probably fucked that up, too. I don’t want to hurt him or his family. They’re all happy and better off without me.