“Mia,” Ari’s voice is conspiratorial as she leans into my locker at school the next morning.

I give her a look.

“No coffee?”

“No,” I mumble. I got up late, because my phone is my alarm, and it was off. I spent the time I had on my make-up and clothes, which means I’ve had no coffee or breakfast and want both.

“What do you have first period?”

“English.”

“Total snoozer. Come on. Let’s sneak off campus.”

“Are you crazy?” I ask. “Didn’t you get in trouble last time? I did.”

“Yeah, but we’ll be back by the end of the day. No one will know.”

“No way, Ari.”

“Don’t you want to see where you’re moving to?”

“You know?” That catches my attention.

She grins.

“Chris says we’re leasing it from your dad?” I prod.

“Yep. Daddy owns an apartment building downtown. It’s near the courthouse,” she explains. “You know how dad is with security. I think that’s why Chris talked to us first.”

“Why am I always the last to know what’s going on with my life?” I demand, slamming my locker.

“You need this more than I do. This is my second one.” She hands me her coffee. “I’m offering to show you. We can sneak out. No Fabios, no Chris, no media following us. I even parked my car nearby.”

I sip her coffee. Cappuccino. It’s both of our favorite drink. I have a feeling I’ll probably regret going with her, but I nod. I definitely don’t want to sit in class this morning with everyone staring at me and whispering.

“As long as we’re back by the end of the day,” I remind her. “Though I guess it doesn’t really matter. I’ve already been kicked out of the house. Daddy can’t do anything else to me.”

We start down the hall towards the locker rooms, where we can hide out until the first bell of the day chimes.

“Dad told me this morning,” Ari says, her look worried. “I can’t believe it.”

“The Connors are more important. Reelection is more important. Everything else is more important,” I reply, hurting again.

“What did Molly say?”

“I haven’t told her. But when we met last, she told me to move out as soon as I turned eighteen. I’m supposed to call my brother but haven’t yet. She’s tired of dealing with me, I think.”

Ari is quiet for a moment, considering. “Maybe it’s a good thing. I mean, you can have your own life without your dad pulling the strings.”

“I know. I just … Ari …” I’m embarrassed to say I’m afraid of being alone. “Chris wants me out of school. I’ll be sitting in your daddy’s fortress all day long. Bored and … lonely.”

We walk into the locker room. She opens hers and dumps her books in it. I do the same. I leave my book bag today, assuming I’ll be back to get it later.

“You know what you can do?”

I glance at her. “What?”

“Stay in school. Don’t let Chris yank you out. If you’re in school all day, then you have soccer and cheer practice, then you go to your community service, you won’t be home alone long at all. You’ll basically just sleep there.”

“That’s true,” I agree. “I can’t imagine being trapped in my apartment all day, every day.”

“You shouldn’t be. I’m sure if you asked Dr. Thompkins, he’d say it’s not healthy. I think Chris is being over protective.”

I smile for the first time that morning, imagining how unhappy Chris will be if I tell him I’m deciding whether or not I stay in school.

“You know, I like that idea,” I say. “I’m eighteen. I can do what I want with my life.”

“For the most part. I mean we’re ditching school to see your new pad. You remember how much we used to talk about moving out on our own and -”

“- going shopping whenever we wanted,” I finish.

“We can go this weekend.”

The first bell rings. We wait for a moment then head towards the exit onto the field. There’s no PE first period. Rumor has it the gym teacher’s a drunk and can’t wake up that early. Whatever the reason, it works for us today.

“I still feel … off,” I tell her. “I remember talking about this and wanting to leave Daddy’s house so we can hang out and do whatever. But now, it’s like … he wants me out. It’s different than me moving out because it’s time. He hates me for ruining his life.”

Ari glances at me as we walk down the tunnel through the bleachers towards her secret side gate. “I’d disagree, but I think you’re right,” she says. “You still sleeping in the closet?”

“Yeah.”

Her smile is concerned.

We emerge from the tunnel and head towards the gate. I’m surprised to find there’s no press staked out at the little gate. There’s a lock on it, though. Ari lifts it, and I look up at the twelve foot, chain link gate.

“We can climb it,” she says.

The more cautious of the two, I should object. But as I look through the fence, I realize I really am tired of feeling trapped. I’m trapped by fear, by Daddy, by my family’s notoriety, by the rape and those who hurt me, by the DA and Chris who want to control me until the trial is over.

I sling my purse across my chest and climb first. Ari is right behind me, and we hop to the ground on the other side and look at each other.

I feel free for the first time since the incident. We smile at each other and start walking quickly. It won’t take much to tip off the press, especially if someone reports two girls in school uniforms jumping the fence.

“Are you sure you don’t want to go out this weekend with Benji and me?” Ari asks as we walk through the neighborhood outside the school. “We’re going to a movie and dinner. No parties.”

“I don’t think so, Ari. You don’t need a third wheel, anyway.”

“I can ask one of my brothers to come. Not as a date,” she adds quickly. “Just to help you feel safer.”

“Maybe next time,” I say. “If you want to go shopping, I think … I think I would like that.”

“Okay! We used to go every week. I really miss it.”

“I do, too. I’ve got my community service from ten to two, but I’ll be free after that.”

“Community service.” Ari giggles and then full-out laughs.

“Why is that funny?” I ask.

She shakes her head and leads us down a familiar alley. By the time we reach the seedy street where Dom picked us up before, she’s calm. But smiling.

“No, really. Why is that funny?” I demand.

“I don’t know. You have the shittiest life. It’s like the cherry on top of a sundae. It just seems so funny. Oh. You don’t read the news. I forgot,” she says. “You know they let Casey King off with a warning?”

“Seriously?” I ask. “He supplies fake IDs to everyone at school!”

“Yep. I guess he just had to tell them who gives him the IDs. Even he didn’t get community service for committing a felony, but you … you have the worst luck.”

“That’s not funny at all,” I snap. “That’s like the lamest thing yet. What the hell, Ari?”

She shrugs. “Daddy says it’s because they want to keep track of you.”

“It’s not like I leave the house!”

“No, no, no. He means it’s a form of unofficial protection without saying you’re under protection. By forcing you to do community service, and check in regularly with them, they know you’re safe.”

“That’s twisted. I don’t need protection.”

“You have bodyguards. Don’t you wonder why?”

“To keep the media away.”

“Right.” Ari rolls her eyes. “Daddy won’t tell me anything, but I know there’s something else going on. There has to be.”

“That makes no sense.” I looked around. I still imagine my attackers stalking me, hiding out in bushes and shadows to kill me or beat me into not testifying. My step slows, and I begin to think sneaking out is a bad idea.

I hate this doubt. It’s always there, always makes me afraid of every situation.

“Oh, did you look at the link I sent you this morning?” Ari asks. “You and Jenna are in the news.”

“No. My phone was off. It’s why I was late.”

“You turned your phone off? Is this another secret? You promised you wouldn’t -”

“It’s not a secret,” I tell her. “I just…I don’t know.”

“You went weird again?”

“I guess. I’ve been really stressed and I don’t want to see anything about Daddy disowning me or throwing me out in the press.”

The coffee is kicking in but I’m pissed for a different reason. Chris does know more than he’s told me. If what Ari’s dad believes is true, then the police are trying to keep tabs on me. I had the feeling before that something was up, but I figured it wasn’t anything I needed to know, or Chris would tell me.

Chris only tells me what I need to know. I should understand that by now.

Ari’s car is parked about a mile from school in a crappy neighborhood. Her pristine car stands out in the neighborhood, and we climb in.

“I couldn’t get a key to go into your apartment building, but I can show you where it’s at. Maybe we can sweet talk our way in,” Ari says.

“Unless your dad’s staff tells him and he figures out we skipped school.”

“Oh. Good call. We’ll just drive by and go get some coffee.”

With morning traffic, it takes an hour to get to the small town in northern Virginia where the all-too-familiar courthouse and her dad’s building are located. I’m used to living in a suburb. The drive seems excessive to me, and I wonder why Chris chose this place and not somewhere closer to the house.

“This is it.” Ari slows. We peer out at the building.

It’s modern and new, with a glass front, probably about twenty stories high. It appears imposing and unfriendly, not the kind of place I’d choose to live. There’s a security guard out front and a single entrance. The windows are too dark to see in.

“He rents out condos to ambassadors while they’re waiting for their houses, celebrities, basically anyone important who comes to town,” Ari says. “I’ve never been in, but I know it’s really nice.”

Ari’s dad owns some of the largest security contract firms in the world. I’ve never thought about what that means. The building looks like a compound that could stand up to a nuclear bomb. While Daddy has always been openly friendly with Ari’s dad, he’s also privately called Mr. Stevens a mercenary who sells his services to whoever will buy them.

I think that’s another reason why Ari and I became friends. I’ve been rebelling against my father since I was a child.

She parks illegally in front of the building, ignoring the guy behind us who honks. We stare up at the concrete-glass structure.

“It’s …” I have no idea what to say.

“Scary?” she asks. “It kinda is. But it’s safe. Daddy says it’s the most secure building in or around DC, and there’s a bunker in the basement.”

“It does look safe,” I agree. I take down the address and type it into my phone notes. Do I really need to live in a fortress? Or is Chris being overprotective again?

Then again, when I think about all the media members stalking me, I wonder if there shouldn’t be at least two security guards in front of the apartment building.

“Now for coffee!” Ari says cheerfully.

We drive around for a little while, exploring the area. There’s not much else in this part of the town, except for the county seat offices, the county courthouse, and other professional buildings. I’m somewhat glad to see I’ll be next to the police station where Dom works.

I take note of the address of the nearest coffee place, too, and follow Ari inside. We order our large cappuccinos and sit down in a far corner, away from the windows and door.

“You’ll have coffee nearby, and a few takeout places,” she says, folding her legs beneath her on the fluffy chair.

“This sucks,” I say moodily.

“Maybe my dad will let me move into an apartment here, too.”

“I wish.” I’m hurting again. I want so bad to have a daddy who loves me as much as Ari’s dad loves her.

“Are you upset?” she asks in a hushed voice.

I nod and sip my drink. “I know Daddy’s never seen me the same way he does Molly. But he’s throwing me out. He said I was selfish. He thinks I’m betraying the family.”

“You know that’s just the politics talking.”

“No, Ari, it’s not. He really doesn’t love me.” My voice catches. “He wants me out, so I don’t ruin his chances of reelection. When I was a martyr, he loved me.”

“You can’t look at it that way, Mia. He’s paying for the apartment, the bodyguards, everything.”

Dr. Thompkins would say these are Daddy’s limitations in showing how he cares for me. I’m not buying it, though, not this time. He’s buying me off or maybe, giving the appearance of caring to anyone who looks at the situation, while truly just covering his ass.

“Chris has been a better father,” I admit. “I never liked him before all this, but he believes in what I’m doing, Ari. He said no matter what, he’ll see this case through for me.”

“Even if your dad objects?”

“Obviously. I mean, Daddy wanted me to drop it. I’m sure he told Chris to make that happen. Chris is helping me instead.”

“I never liked Chris either, until now,” Ari says. “I’m really happy you have him. Dad says even he wouldn’t take on Chris in court.”

That makes me feel better. I don’t know Ari’s dad well, but I know he’s not afraid of anything, even the war zones he routinely flies into to check on his security contracts. I’m resigned to the next few months being awful, especially once the court stuff starts.

“Dom’s station is basically next door,” Ari adds, a mischievous twinkle in her eye.

“Again, Ari?” I roll my eyes at her.

“He’s freakin' hawt, Mia! I was joking before, then I met him. Good god! I so –”

“We’re having coffee Saturday morning,” I mumble into my cup, knowing I have to tell her sometime.

Her mouth drops open. I don’t know why she’s so shocked – she’s been trying to get me to admit I like Dom since shortly after the incident.

“Just him. And me. And coffee,” I say at her surprised quiet. “Just as friends.”

And then I blush.