Skylar

I grab Italian takeout for dinner and head for home. I walk through my crowded Los Angeles neighborhood, tears clouding my eyes as I try to ignore the pain creeping through my heart and making its way into my soul. I took off from Colton’s house yesterday, and I’ve been fighting the heartbreak ever since.

Colton treats me like a queen, but also like a woman. A real woman, who’s flawed and messy and…me. He accepts me the way I am. He loves me for who I am. And I’m the one who keeps leaving him. Every single time. When I realized I’d left my freaking bathroom bag at his house, I thought he might use it as an excuse to contact me. But he didn’t. I haven’t heard from him at all, and his silence says more than any words could. He’s making it clear that this time—the ball is in my court.

Colton helped me accept, and embrace, my dirty mouth, and facilitated my snagging a potentially career-changing interview. He’s been an amazing friend, and he’s also an incredible lover. But my demons are out in full force. I’m ashamed of my cowardice. I pride myself on being courageous, and the way I behaved with Colton when I left him was anything but brave.

He said he loved me, and I cut out on him. And that’s unacceptable. Clearly, I need help.

Stopping on the sidewalk, I hit a number on my phone.

When Dr. Bradley answers, I immediately apologize for calling her on a weekend. “I didn’t expect you’d pick up,” I say.

“I’m running billing,” she says. “My receptionist is out sick, and I’ve fallen behind. How can I help you, Skylar?”

I step into the alcove by my apartment and fill her in on what happened with Colton. “I broke the physical boundary between us,” I say, fighting tears as I say it aloud to someone else. “I’m afraid…”

“That you’re just like your father,” she finishes for me.

The shame of the confession is so intense that I drop to my knees on the concrete. “I can’t hurt him,” I whisper.

“Your kick was unconscious, not premeditated,” she says gently. “It’s not the same thing. You didn’t seek to cause Colton pain. Quite the opposite. And there are things we can do to work on your nightmares, and what you and Colton can do if something like that happens again.”

“Really?” Relief fills me at her words.

“Absolutely. If you’re comfortable, doing a session with the two of you would be beneficial. I think it would help move things forward in a positive direction.”

I tell her I’ll get back to her next week, thank her profusely, and end the call.

I enter my front walkway and take the stairs two at a time to my second floor apartment.

I’m going to go to Colton, and I’m going to make it right.

Karma jumps on my legs when I step through the door.

Check that: I’ll go to Colton as soon as I’m done walking Karma.

I hustle through our walk, and head for home.

As soon as Karma and I return to the apartment, my phone rings.

I shut the front door, let Karma off her leash, and look at the caller ID.

When I see who it is, I drop onto the couch.

My brother prefers text. Unless we’ve agreed to talk beforehand, he absolutely never calls me unless it’s important.

I’m shaking as I swipe the screen. “Ben?”

“What’s up, little sister?” Ben’s always been the more sensitive of my two brothers, and his low tone is understated.

“You tell me. I’m assuming you have news.”

“Hey, Skyscraper.”

“Nick?” I groan. “Ben, you never tell me when you have me on speaker!”

Ben chuckles. “I like to keep you guessing.”

“Hey, remember when we took your fake microphone that Mom got you for your birthday when you were fourteen, and hid it in the washing machine?”

“Yes, and no doubt Mom remembers as well as I do,” I say. “She ran the machine and broke it. You two had to work so many extra hours shoveling driveways that winter to pay her back the repair costs.”

Ben and Nick’s laughs are so similar I can’t tell which one is laughing harder.

“Yeah, so anyway, we’re calling you on a more serious topic, of course.” Nick clears his throat.

The hair on the back of my neck stands up. “And?”

“Our father’s in jail.”

We don’t call him Dad, or Daddy, or any term of endearment. If we refer to him at all, it’s always “our father.” A formal term to define the role we acknowledge he played in our birth, but nothing more.

I suck in air and then say the following words quickly, “When? How? And who found out?”

“Mom’s cop friend. Remember Ivan?”

“Yeah. Of course.” Ivan helped us escape that night. He kept Dad late at poker so the four of us could slip out of the house and cross the borders from Indiana all the way to Connecticut, where we set up roots as the Rosewood family. Ivan and Mom always kept in touch, and he was always the first to know when we changed our phone number.

“Ben and I have been in contact with him this past week.” Nick nearly growls. “Ivan’s never let up on wanting to make our father pay for what he did. After the bastard disappeared, we were just waiting for him to resurface. Ivan was sure we’d find him soon, but he didn’t think it would be this big. The cops caught him on something…bad.”

I don’t know if I want to know the answer to what I’m about to ask, but my sense of justice is piqued. “What was it?”

“He tried to strangle a woman, someone he’d dated in the past.” Ben’s tone is lethal. “He went straight to her in Florida after he left North Carolina. She didn’t let him in the house. So he broke in, and tried to fucking strangle her. In front of her five-year-old kid.”

“Oh, no.” I get up off the couch and pace down the hall into my bedroom. “Tell me she’s okay. And her daughter?”

“Her daughter’s fine. So is she. Somehow, she fought him off,” Nick says, his tone one of admiration. “Then she called 911. And she pressed charges. He can’t afford bail, and he was high at the time and they have audio of him admitting to trying to kill her. So he’s in jail right now, and he’s going to stay there. Because the other thing?”

I sink back onto my bed. There’s more?

“He robbed a gas station right before he went to the woman’s house. He shot at the attendant, but missed and fled. But he also shot a customer.”

“No.” My heart is breaking.

Ben’s tone is calm when he says, “They say the customer will be okay, thank God. But it’s just unspeakable what he did. It’s like he completely lost it, and apparently they found multiple drugs in his car.”

“He never used to do drugs,” I say.

“I know. But he refused to ever get help. I guess things went downhill.”

“The positive,” Nick says, “is that the entire sequence of events is on surveillance video. Between the clear evidence and the seriousness of the two crimes, Ivan’s sure he’s going to be put away for a long time. And Ivan knows the head of the department down there and he said there’s no way he gets out early.”

“Jesus. Christ.” My voice is barely above a whisper. “I’ve been so scared, whenever I’m on TV…”

“I know, honey.” Nick’s tone is soft. “You never said anything, but we always knew. And that’s why we’re telling you this: he’s locked up. And he will be for a long time. You’re safe, baby sister.”

The tears come before we’ve even hung up. They both try to comfort me, to ask me if I need them to fly out, but I assure them I’m okay.

Because I am. I really am. I just didn’t realize it until right now.

“Subject change before we get off on this note,” Ben says. “Anything new with you? Other than your big interview, of course.”

I take a breath, and then spit it out. “You remember Colton Wild, from the campgrounds in Boulder all those years ago?”

“Of course.” Ben’s voice is filled with amusement. “He’s a pro football player now. Nick and I watch him on TV all the time.”

I bite my tongue to stop from gasping. “You do? Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

I can practically hear my brother shrug in cluelessness. “Why would you care? You only hung out with him that one night when we all played football. You seemed to hate him.”

I struggle to come up with a nonchalant response. “I didn’t hate him. I had only just met him, for God’s sake. I’m just surprised you didn’t let me know about his football success. It’s not every day we know a famous athlete.”

“Sky, you hate football. You barely know the names of the teams. We spent years in New England, and you had to think—actually think—about how you knew the name Tom Brady when I mentioned him once. We’re talking about the greatest quarterback of all time here.” He pauses for effect. “So how the hell would you care about Colton Wild? Wild is a great tight end, but it’s not like you’ve ever cared about that shit.”

“Okay, message made clear.” I hesitate, and then decide to just come out with it. “So what was Colton like back then? You guys hung out with him a fair amount, right?”

“He was super cool.” Nick’s deeper voice comes through my phone. “Colton was awesome. Down-to-earth, fun guy…”

“Easy-going,” Ben cuts in. “Great athlete. Wealthy background but never an asshole rich kid like some of those jerks.”

“Wait.” Nick’s tone turns suspicious. “Why are you asking?”

“Um…I ran into him last month while I was trying to get that Maxwell White interview. Turned out Colton knew him and he was able to put in a good word for me.”

Oh, and then yesterday, he screwed my brains out. And told me he loves me.

“Yeah, he’s a good guy. Maybe he can look out for you in L.A. since your two big brothers aren’t there, huh?”

“I’m pretty sure I can look out for myself. But I appreciate the sentiment.”

I tell them good-bye and stare at the smooth Boulder stone on my dresser. I go pick it up and hold it. I still remember Colton’s intense gaze when he picked this rock off the edge of the creek and handed it to me.

“It’s from the mountain,” he’d said, pointing toward the peaks barely visible in the darkness. “So when you’re feeling lonely, you’ll remember this night we shared. You’ll know you’re never alone, Sky. I’ll always be here for you.”

I wanted him so much. Like I’d never wanted anyone, or anything, before. But when we didn’t have a condom, I took it as a sign. That I wasn’t supposed to get close to someone else, because I’d just end up heartbroken and alone like my mother.

For the last ten years, I’ve followed that tenet. I’ve worked hard, had a few casual hookups and dates, and worked some more. My brothers remain my two best friends. My mom will always be my hero, and I want to make her proud.

But sometimes, on days like today, I wonder if my drive to make her proud, and my stubborn fear of getting hurt, is stopping me from being happy.

Being with Colton makes me happy. Every moment with Colton exhilarates me. Even when we fight, even when he makes me crazy, I feel more alive with him than without. And maybe, like I did the first day we ran into each other at the beach, I need to stop thinking so much, and just take the leap.

I change into an aqua knee-length maxi dress, the one that brings out my eyes, and slip on my cutest strappy heels to match. I leave my hair down and loose, and add eyeliner and a pink shade of lipstick. Then I put the Boulder stone into my purse and, without giving myself time to overthink my actions, I walk out the door.

---

When I reach Colton’s house, I pause at the end of the driveway, staring at the intercom box next to the locked gate. I didn’t text him ahead of time, but now I’m thinking I should have. What if he’s busy?

Too late to worry about that now. I’m here, and I want to see him. I press the buzzer, and wait.

Thirty seconds pass. My hands are so sweaty one of them literally slips off the steering wheel and lands in my lap.

“Hello?”

The voice is clearly male, but doesn’t sound like Colton’s. For a brief moment, I’m afraid I somehow went to the wrong address.

“Hello. I’m looking for Colton. Is he home?”

“Hey, Colt! A lady’s at the door!”

Oh, God. He’s got friends over. What if his entire team is here, and they’re partying?

“Hello?” Colton’s low voice goes straight to my heart.

“Colton. It’s me. Sky.” I clearly didn’t think this through very well. If I had, I definitely would have texted him first. The idea of meeting him in front of a bunch of football players, after the way we ended, is horrifying. “Um, I didn’t know you had company. I’ll just come back later, or tomorrow. You can text me…”

He cuts me off. “Sky. Come on up.”

The gate opens immediately. I want to turn and peel away, but my habit of racing off is annoying me. I don’t know if Colton would ever speak to me again if I did that to him right now. He may not speak to me as it is, but I at least have to show my face at this point.

Grateful for the darkness enveloping the night sky, I park quietly in the driveway and step out. When I reach the front door, it opens before I can knock.

Dylan’s handsome face greets me. He’s dressed casually, in shorts and a t-shirt, and he smiles at me warmly. “Hi, Skylar. Nice to see you. Come on in.”

“Thanks.” I follow him into the foyer.

The living room is empty, and I don’t hear any voices.

Dylan beckons me to follow him. “We’re all just hanging out in the back.”

We’re all? How many of you are there?

“Um…who’s here?” I say, trying to sound casual, but I’m pretty sure the panic in my voice is obvious.

“Only five of us.” He waits for me to catch up to him and winks. “Don’t worry. We won’t get in the way of your apology.”

My mouth drops open. “How did you—”

Dylan chuckles as we reach the sliding glass doors leading to the back patio. “Colton’s not great at hiding things. Plus, we’re all pretty nosy and we tend to drag secrets out of him.”

Great.

Dylan opens the door and ushers me to step out ahead of him. Six steps into the patio and I’m face to face with four of the hottest men I’ve ever seen. All are holding bottles of beer, and as they turn to watch me, I freeze. One is blond and built, like he’s used to hard work. The second guy is blond also, and he looks like a former athlete. The other two are both dark-haired, but one has wavy hair that’s half-hidden underneath a baseball cap. All four of them stare at me as I step closer. None of them are Colton.

I whirl around, looking for any sign of him.

“He’s in the bathroom.” Dylan’s presence is a relief. “Let me introduce you to the cousins, plus Colt’s best friend.”

“Oh!” I don’t mean for my exclamation to come out sounding so excited. “I’ve heard a lot about you all.”

Four sets of eyebrows rise in surprise, as Dylan sits down and beckons me to join their little group at the table. I take the only empty seat, and then my natural curiosity as a reporter overrides my awkwardness.

“Can I guess who’s who?” Before anyone can respond, I point to each man in turn. “Brayden is the oldest—” I smile at the blond muscular man nearest me—“and Jenson’s the other blond and Colt’s best friend.” Jenson raises his beer bottle and nods at me. “Cameron is the youngest.” I gesture to the dark-haired guy without a hat, and he chuckles. “And you must be Ayden,” I say to the one in the Red Sox hat. “Colton mentioned you’re from New England.”

All of them grin at me, but Cameron’s smile is a little devilish. “And you’re Sky. We just caught one of your interviews online.”

“Oh.” They’ve looked me up?

Brayden elbows him. “Just because she’s a woman doesn’t give you the right to flirt with her.”

“I’m not flirting,” Cameron protests. “I’m welcoming her.” He sounds sincere, almost like flirting comes naturally. “You were really intense in that surfer dude interview. I liked how you stayed all business. The guy clearly wanted in your pants.”

Jenson glares at him. “Shut the fuck up, Cam.” He gestures to the group of them and turns to me. “It’s nice to meet you, Sky. Colton said you two go way back.”

Relieved for the subject change, I smile at him. “Yes. We met when we were kids. Teenagers.” I laugh awkwardly. “I was gangly.”

“I’m sure you were beautiful,” he says warmly.

I glance at Ayden. “Where in New England are you from?”

“Maine.” His tone is gruff, but not unfriendly. And those sea-colored eyes must get a lot of women’s attention. “What about you?”

“I spent some of my childhood in Connecticut.”

“You like hockey, then?” Cameron’s dark eyes narrow on me.

“My brothers love all sports. But I tend to stay away from athletics.”

“Except for touch football. Right, Sparky?” Colton’s hands land on my shoulders gently, but possessively, from behind.

Jenson grins, and all four of his cousins’ gazes jerk up past my head as I feel Colton’s lips brush my hair. Then he’s beside me, urging me to make room for him in my chair. Between my hips and Colton’s large frame, we barely fit, but that doesn’t stop him. He simply picks me up like I weigh nothing, scoots fully onto the chair, and deposits me on his lap.

I turn to make eye contact with him. Those brilliant blue eyes burn like fire, but his expression is blank. I can’t tell what he’s thinking. Is he happy I’m here, or is he trying to put on a good front in front of everyone? His face is inches from mine, and he leans closer until our foreheads touch.

“Hey.”

I put my hand on his jaw and run it along the sexy stubble. “Hey, Jackass.”

His jeans press into my backside, and I squirm and steady myself by putting my hand on his chest. His t-shirt is riding up and I can just see his muscular abs peeking out.

A stifled laugh breaks the moment between us. I turn to see Dylan’s grin light up the backyard, and he and the other guys exchange a look I can’t decipher. I think I see Cam mouth, “I see what you mean about not taking his shit” to Dylan, but I can’t be sure.

My face is burning with embarrassment. It’s bad enough that I just interrupted their guys’ night, but now I feel like Colton and I are being scrutinized.

“Jackass?” Brayden raises his eyebrows.

I lift one shoulder in a shrug. “We didn’t hit it off when we first met.”

“Speak for yourself.” Colton’s voice next to my ear sends shivers through me. “I chased her all over the football field.”

“Guess some things never change, huh?” Dylan jokes. “You’ve been chasing her since you found out she was here in town, too.”

Brayden’s shoulders relax, and when he looks at me now, it’s with added warmth. “So you don’t seem like most of the women we often find hanging all over Dyl and Colt.”

I give him a look. “You mean because I don’t look like an L.A. girl—an actress or a model.”

Brayden frowns. “No, that’s not what I meant at all. You seem real. Grounded.”

“But you’re still hot.” Cameron’s eyes flash with amusement, and he grins flirtatiously again. “Don’t let Brayden mess with you.”

“Thanks for your input, guys.” Colton shakes his head as he reaches his hand out for mine and pulls me gently to my feet as he stands. “We’ll be right back.”

He stays silent as we walk through his dimly-lit house, down the hall and up the stairway to the master suite. When we reach his bedroom, he turns on the light and shuts the door firmly behind us, and then he leads me over to the bed.

I sit next to him and we just look at each other.

“You came back.” The question is in his eyes.

“Yes, I came back. And not because of my bathroom bag. Although I’m truly sorry I acted like such a coward and ran off like that. Again.”

His eyes soften. “What matters is that you’re here.”

“Yes. I’m here.” I rummage in my purse until I find it.

Colton’s cheeks flush as I put the stone in his open palm. “Is this…”

“Ten years ago, from Boulder,” I confirm. “The stone you gave to me that night. So I’d never feel alone again.” I put my hand on his cheek. “And you know what? I didn’t ever feel alone again. I held onto this gift all these years, through my move cross-country, through everything. Because you gave me your heart that night, Colton. And the truth is, I gave you mine, too.”

He swallows and I watch as the emotion he’s been holding down starts to swirl in the cloudless sky blue of his eyes. “Sky…”

“I love you, Colton Wild.”

His hand reaches for mine and holds it tight. “Skylar. We don’t have to rush this. I’m sorry I pushed…”

“Don’t be sorry. I needed a little push. I’ve been so terrified for as long as I can remember—to step out of my safe box and take a risk. You’re never afraid to leap, Colton. And because of you, I’m leaping, too.”

He pulls me on top of him and buries his face in my neck. “I promise you won’t regret it.”

I run my hand through his thick blond hair. “I believe you.”

His hands rub my back, gently at first, and then with more purpose. When he tugs at the hem of my dress, I lift up so he can slide it up to my hips. My blood heats and my thighs clench with need.

“You look so gorgeous in this dress, sweetheart,” he murmurs as he touches me over my panties. “The second I saw you in it, I wanted to take it off.”

I tug at his shirt impatiently. “I want to see you, too.”

He reaches behind his head and drags his shirt off quickly. My tongue is on his chest, licking its way down to his stomach, which trembles as I push him onto his back on the bed. “Let me touch you, Colton.” I unzip his jeans and he helps me by kicking them off.

As soon as his boxers are on the ground, my mouth is on him. He’s hot and hard and perfect. I use my hand as I lick and suck and kiss him, and his groans get louder.

“Come up here.” His hands in my hair urge me on top of him. “Ride me, Sky.” He lifts my dress off of me and then reaches for a condom in his bedside drawer. I grab the condom and put it on him as he unhooks my bra. Once he pulls my panties to the side, I sink down on him.

“Christ. Sky.” His face is etched with desire. “Ride me, babe.”

And I do. I start hesitantly, still feeling self-conscious about everything that’s happened. But Colton’s sweet praises and little murmurs of encouragement spur me on, and before I know it, I’m riding him like I’m going to explode if I don’t. His fingers press into my skin, his hands gripping my hips as he lifts me up and then brings me back down. I’ve never felt someone inside me so deeply before, and I moan as I lean forward to kiss him.

We come together, our hearts pounding as we cry out our release. I lean my cheek on his shoulder and wait for my pulse to calm down. Colton’s arms wrap around me, his hands rubbing my bare back.

“Ten years ago, I fell in love with a girl,” he says softly into my ear, and my skin fills with goosebumps. “I thought I’d lost her forever. But here she is, in my arms. The most beautiful woman in the world. And I’m never letting her go again. No matter how much you run, Sky, I’ll always run after you.”

I raise my head so I can meet his feverish gaze. “You won’t have to chase after me, Colt. Not anymore. You were never who I was running from. I just didn’t realize that until the man I was actually scared of got locked up.”

He sucks in a breath. “What are you saying? Is everything all right?”

I nod. “I talked to my brothers today. Our father’s in jail. Finally.”

“Shit. About fucking time.” He kisses me. “What happened?”

When I’ve finished telling him the story, he tucks me closer into his chest. “How do you feel?”

“Free,” I say truthfully. “I didn’t know how on-the-run I’d felt, but when I learned that the man we had to escape from couldn’t find me anymore, it was like these shackles dropped away. And then I had nothing I needed to flee from.” I lock eyes with Colton. “I want to be honest with you. I called my therapist, and told her about how I kicked you.”

“Sky…”

I hold up my hand. “Wait. Don’t tell me it’s fine, because it’s not. Not to me. I know what it feels like to have someone you love hit you, and it kills me that I struck you in anger. Even though it wasn’t on purpose, and my therapist explained how that makes a difference.”

“Of course it makes a difference.” Colton’s eyes flash with emotion. “You would never hurt me willingly, Skylar.”

I tell him how Dr. Bradley said she could help us, and how she would like to meet him.

“You may not be comfortable with therapy,” I say quickly. “So if not, then we could…”

“I’m absolutely comfortable going to a session with you,” he says. “I want to do whatever we need to do to sort through all of this. I know our relationship has gotten intense really fast.”

“I also want you to know that I was coming to see you tonight regardless. I had made up my mind before my brothers called to tell me about our father. The news didn’t make my decision for me; it just made everything in my life feel that much clearer.”

Colton brings my face so close our noses are touching. “I’m happy for you. It’s a fucked-up justice for your family, one you all deserved a lot earlier, and I’m sorry for all of it and for everyone who suffered. But I’m happy you won’t have to worry about your mom, and yourself, anymore.”

“Thanks.” I wiggle closer to him. “Shouldn’t we go hang out with everyone downstairs?”

“In a minute.” He kisses me. “Or an hour.” His hand slips between my legs.

“Won’t they be wondering where we disappeared to?” I force out, my body already turned on again.

Colton chuckles into my neck, and the vibration makes me giggle. “I think they’ve got a pretty good idea where we are.” His mouth covers mine, and I moan. “I’m thinking we should do this again, Skylar. What do you think?”

I think he and I are on the exact same page.