Bishop
There’s a scene in my all-time favorite movie, Gladiator, where Russell Crowe removes his helmet and tells Commodus, “My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix legions…I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.”
I remembered watching the movie for the first time and I felt chills during that scene.
It was so poignant and filled with so much drama, and as much as I hated drama in real life, I was stoked with it in movies.
I kept thinking about how difficult it must have been for the great Roman General to keep his identity a secret and what a relief it must have been to finally tell the weasel, Commodus, who he was.
I’m not saying that my life is as dramatic as General Maximus’ was, but right now, I felt the kind of anticipation that the Hispano-Roman General might have felt.
Alright, maybe not as colossal as he felt.
Maybe a tenth of the suspense that the moviegoers felt when they watched that epic movie.
But as much anticipation as I felt, relief also brewed out of me.
“What’s the agenda for tonight?” Takei asked while he browsed on his phone.
“Just a couple of things,” I answered, placing my hands behind my neck, feeling the tightness crawl around it. Maybe I could convince Kara to give me a massage tonight. Knowing my girlfriend, she wouldn’t need much convincing. If I showed any signs of muscle strain, she’d immediately ask me what was wrong and there, I’d be getting my massage.
It’s not just the massage that I loved getting from her.
It’s all the touches she gave me, from the soft, gentle strokes of her fingertips to the hard, rough presses of her palms.
I loved the way her skin felt against mine, and I knew that it didn’t matter how long we were in bed together, I’d always come back to it the minute we were outside of it.
It’d been tough these days because I’d been kind of a nomad, sleeping at Ian’s place, then at Kara’s place when Anissa wasn’t around, and then at times, here in my frat house. Where I’d be staying for the rest of the year would be determined by how well the meeting went.
“Are we gonna talk about what’s happening between you and Scott?” That came from Trev. He didn’t say much during meetings, he pretty much agreed with everything that was discussed. The son of San Diego’s sheriff and a cornerback with a great chance of being drafted in the NFL, he was easygoing and didn’t like to cause trouble.
Silas’ eyebrows rocked his forehead, “Dude, you guys gotta find a way to resolve this shit. It’s affecting the frat’s morale and I personally think it’s unnecessary.”
I didn’t want to start the meeting with negative vibes, but since they’re airing it out, I asked, “Why do you think it’s unnecessary?”
“Because that’s why we have rules. So that everyone can follow them. So that we can avoid drama and shit like this,” Silas answered and shrugged his shoulders.
I nodded my head and a hit of apprehension infused my nerves, I’d never get the votes.
I heard voices outside the door and knew that Rikko and Scott had arrived.
I’d called this meeting.
I should’ve called it sooner, but I’d procastinated. I wasn’t a procastinator but I wanted to keep Kara all to myself. The thought of confronting the ramifications of my actions wasn’t that appealing. Not when we were cocooned in our own bliss, and not when we both just wanted to shut out the world for a few more days, which turned to weeks.
Rikko sat in his usual chair, the lone couch that he pulled in front of the TV, and Scott sat to his right.
I’d tried to talk to Scott, but Rikko had said to give his best friend time to process the idea of Kara and I.
I’d given Scott the time, but now was the time to face it and hopefully move on from the past and bury old feelings.
Rikko gave me a nod and I lifted my head in acknowledgment.
I tried to do the same to his best friend, but I was met with a scowl.
This was not gonna go well.
Rikko said, “Alright, good evening, Tau brothers. Tonight we’re going to discuss a few items that have threatened to cause discord in our family. It’s my hope that at the end of the meeting, we’d have resolutions to these items and move on as brothers.”
He was laying it on thick, but he was also calling it as it was.
We’d been brothers for over three years. We might not be blood brothers, but we’d gone through a lot of shit together. Over the years, we’d grown as individuals and served our fraternity with honor and grace. It would be a tragedy to lay waste to all of this, especially on my part, because of a rule that we’d established to eliminate confrontation and trouble. A rule that I voted for until I’d fallen in love with Kara.
“I second it.” Takei waved a hand, and the rest of the guys nodded.
Rikko held up the green binder that housed our codes of conduct, rules and regs, and all of the activities we’d participated in throughout the years.
“Our Code of Conduct serves as the foundation of the values we want to promote and develop.” He read through the first part and then, focusing on me, he said, “As our esteemed VP, Bishop Cordello, has exemplified all of these values, and today as your President, I am asking each and every one of you to listen to what he has to say.”
I didn’t look at Scott’s side because I already knew that I wasn’t going to get his ballot.
“Bishop, you have the floor.” Rikko signaled with his hand, and I motioned with my head, grabbing the rope he’d extended to me.
If I was any other frat member, I wouldn’t have been given the chance.
I wouldn’t have the floor to air out my side, and there would be no secret ballots casted for my personal cause.
I turned my body around, shifting on the couch to face Takei, Trev, Silas, Quan, Larry, and Evan who had missed the last few meetings due to his lacrosse injuries. I was glad he was here today because he and I got along well, and I needed sixty percent of the votes to go my way.
“Thanks Rikko.” I cleared the frog in my throat and said, “A few years ago, we’d established Article One, Letter P. It says that members of Chi Epsilon Tau’s SDU Chapter will not engage in any personal or intimate relationship with another frat member’s present and/or past girlfriends or any person that they have been romantically linked to.”
I swallowed a thick block of air that had lodged inside me, “I voted for this rule and it passed. Today, I am asking for all of you to revoke it, amend it, or just remove it from our Code of Conduct.”
“Why?” The coldness in Scott’s voice could be felt across the room. “Why should we make an exception for you, Cordello?”
I faced him and watched as his green eyes fill with daggers of hate.
“Because in all the time I’ve served this fraternity, I’ve never asked for anything,” I answered, my composure solid and filled with the love I felt for the woman who he once called his but was now mine. “I understand that being involved with another frat brother’s ex would be asking for trouble, but not if the cause of the breakup between the frat member and his girlfriend was mutual in nature and that there was no coercion with any members of the party involved.”
“Kara broke up with me.” His jaw could cut steel, “I didn’t break up with her. Therefore, it’s not mutual.”
“Nor was there coercion,” I fired back. “Breakups aren’t always mutual. Otherwise there wouldn’t be any breakups.”
Scott’s fists dropped to the sides of the small couch he was sitting on, and it looked like he didn’t have anything else to say so I continued, “I don’t want to cause trouble between us. I respect you and all of you guys, which is why I admit that I made a mistake of not asking for this meeting sooner.”
Takei injected, “How do you want to change the rules? How can we assure that what happened with Cord and Lewis isn’t going to happen again?”
I tapped on my chin and proceeded to say, “In retrospect, I don’t think we handled Cord and Lewis as best as we could. Both guys were dating the same cheerleader for months and maybe one of them could’ve said something? I don’t know. I’m not here to think about what could happen again. Right now, I’m here for my own selfish reasons. I want to stay a Tau, but I also want to be with Kara. I’d change the rules to where we could put a time period on how long a frat brother can’t date an ex of somebody, or something to that effect.”
“How do I know you weren’t involved with her when we were still together?” Scott sneered, his demeanor reminding me of a caged bear ready to fight.
I shook my head, “You know Kara. You know me. I wouldn’t do anything behind your back when you guys were together.”
“Yet, I only found out that you were with her when she showed up at your game where all of us were there and she stood proudly as your girlfriend.” His voice cracked with anger and malice.
“Scott, look, I’m sorry for the way it happened. I should have said something. But it’s in the past and I hope we can move on from this,” I said, feeling the weight of secrecy heavy on my back. “There are many should haves and could haves, and if you want me to apologize for everything that I did wrong, then here I am, apologizing.” I opened my hands in a gesture of surrender.
“You don’t know shit, Cordello. You’re here, asking for an apology because you did wrong. You’re sitting there, talking like your shit don’t stink. You wanna know what I think of your apology? I think it’s the fakest bullshit I’ve ever heard.” Scott’s words were meant to inflict pain and as cutting as they were, I was numb to it.
Rikko pushed a hand in front of Scott’s line of sight, “Hey. We’re not here for that. If you want to talk to Bishop separately, you should, but right now, you need to settle down and listen to what he has to say, for the sake of Tau.”
Larry fake-coughed, no doubt wanting to slice through the heavy tension in the air, “The punishment for violating Codes of Conduct could mean expulsion from the fraternity.”
“That’s correct,” Rikko acknowledged him.
“Since Bishop violated the rules, it means that we have to determine what penalty we’re going to hand down to him,” Silas said in a low voice. I’d helped him in a lot in his Engineering class work, and he was a cool guy to hang out with when we had time.
“It will be discussed after we vote on what he’s propositioning,” Rikko agreed, regarding me with a look to which I assented.
I’d violated the rules so I knew that punishment had to be served.
“If we determine that the offense is severe enough, we could kick him out of Tau.” Scott cut in with relish, “We don’t need brothers who stab you in the back and face you after you’ve been kicked and left out in the cold.”
“Scott. Stop,” Rikko intervened, but I held up my left hand in front of Scott’s line of vision.
Rikko didn’t have to fight my battles.
“I violated the rules, but I never cheated on anybody. I didn’t stab you in the back. I pursued Kara after you guys broke up,” I said, airing out my frustration. “I may have liked her when you guys were together, I may have been attracted to her, but I didn’t push towards the edge of impropriety with her.”
Still looking at Scott who sat like a statue, “I’m not going to defend myself until I’m blue in the face because I know you won’t hear me, Scott. Like I said, I respect you. If you want to do this outside so you can get a punch or two in, I’ll let you but only because I understand how you feel.”
To the rest of my frat brothers, I said, “When I took the oath to be a member of this frat over three years ago, I placed this Greek family at the top of my priorities. I’d given everything I had to uphold our values.”
I stood up and shook my head, “But as much as you guys have been close to me as my friends and brothers, I’m willing to give it all up for the woman I love.”
“I’m not gonna drag this out. You can reach me by phone.” To Rikko, I said, “Your sister? She’s everything to me.”
His expression was filled with melancholy and his shoulder dropped. I just put him on the spot, but I also laid out all of my cards.
I had nothing else to hide.
I looked at each of the senior officers’ eyes and said, “I understand and respect whatever decision you come up with. I’m proud to be a Tau.”
And to Scott, the man who was seething in the corner, his eyes narrowed, I met his gaze and declared, “You have history with her and that’s always going to be there and I never meant for any of this to happen. But it’s happening and I’m not letting you or anyone else stand in my way of getting to her. I love her and I’m not letting her go.”
With those words, I left the living room and trekked to the third floor to gather my stuff.
I’d wait for their decision.
But whatever it was, there was nothing changing the fact that Kara was mine.
And I was hers.
And no one was going to tear us apart.