Chapter 13
It’s been two weeks since that night at the bar, and I am so fucking depressed without Callie. My new two-bedroom condo is a mess that the guys helped me move into last week. Even though shit got messed up with Callie, I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to get this place. I’m not sure if she knows I moved in, but I have yet to run into her, even though I’m only one floor below her. I miss her so fucking bad; I miss her smile, her laugh, her green eyes looking at me like I’m her entire fucking world. I miss sleeping next to her, touching her, kissing her, I miss our talks…I miss every single thing about her. It might have been a shit time to tell her I loved her, but I meant those three words, damn it. That should count for something, right?
Earlier this week, we had finals, and with luck, I passed them all. I even got an A in Astronomy 101. Thanks to Callie. As I have gone to each class I’m like a zombie, and since the semester is coming to an end, I don’t really pay attention now. Callie hasn’t been to any of her classes since the night at the bar, and she hasn’t been to work either. Yes, I’ve been a stalker. I just want to talk to her, and she won’t answer my calls or texts—and we’re supposed to do the final project together. I don’t know how that’s going to happen if she’s not speaking to me because I’m a shithead. Guess I’ll be doing it alone.
Practice is not going well at all. I can’t focus; I don’t have the heart or mind for it right now. The guys try to help, but it’s not working. My career as a ball player could easily come to an end if I don’t get my shit together soon.
The only thing that still matters to me is Raine. Speaking of which, she had her first checkup with Doctor Lee and she’s doing amazing. He remembers the day she was born and said she got her name because the rain was pouring down outside. He wondered about her, since I guess Tiffany didn’t keep up with her pediatrician appointments. One more thing for me to give to my attorney in my pursuit of full custody.
So… Doctor Lee said she is in the seventy-fifth percentile rate of babies her age on height and weight. Her head is in the fiftieth percentile on the graph, but he said she’s growing just as expected. Raine now weighs eighteen pounds and is twenty-eight inches long. The worst part of the visit was her shots; I don’t know who it was worse for, me or her. But for me to have to hold her while they inflicted pain on my baby and she screamed bloody murder was pure hell for me. I have vowed that I would never let anyone hurt her, but yet I let it happen. I hope this dad business gets easier!
Cayden still comes over to watch her for me, but I had to explain why I didn’t tell Callie it was me that night. I guess she was satisfied with my explanation, because she kept coming back. I ask her how Callie is, and the only reply I get is that she’s not doing well. It makes me feel like a complete douche that I did this to her.
There’s a knock at the door. “Go away!” I shout as I throw a shoe in that direction. It makes a loud thudding noise, and then I regret doing that because Raine is sleeping in her new bedroom and I don’t want to wake her.
“No can do, dude. Now open up the door before we break it down,” Mav yells through the closed door. With a huff, I get up from the couch and let the guys in. “Jesus Christ! When’s the last time you cleaned up?”
“It’s been a few days. Cayden hasn’t needed to watch Raine, so there’s no point,” I respond to Mav as I head back to the couch.
“Oh, there is definitely a point. It smells and looks like a dirty locker room in here,” Zac comments on the appearance and smell of the place. I don’t give a shit what they think, though.
“Get up and get a shower. We’re taking you out,” Mav tells me as he walks further into the condo.
“I’m not really up for going out.”
“We don’t really give a fuck. You’re going,” he responds, straight-faced.
“I don’t have a babysitter.” I try another excuse.
“We got it covered, and she should be arriving soon.” Zac looks at the watch on his wrist.
“I’m not going to leave my baby with just anybody.” I shake my head; who knows who would show up to try to watch her.
“You won’t have a problem with her—now go shower and clean yourself up. You smell like a trash dumpster,” Mav tells me, and again I don’t give a fuck, but I head towards my bathroom so they’ll shut the fuck up.
“It’s going to be rough, but I have no doubt you boys will see that it happens.” I know that voice! I walk into the living room after my shower, and there stands Cynthia.
“What’re you doing here?” I question.
“Good to see you too, Dex.” She gives me a sad smile.
“Sorry.” I wrap her up in a hug because in her time here in Athens she became like a second mother to me. “It is good to see you, but it caught me a little off guard.”
“I imagine it did.” She chuckles then goes on, “I was heading into town, and the boys here called me asking for my help. And who am I to deny getting to spend some time with Rainey?” She smiles while holding onto my arms and giving me a once-over. I’m sure that long look is to see how I’m holding up.
“You’re the babysitter?” I question, shock evident in my expression.
“Sure am. So go have a good time.” Cynthia pats my arm before making herself comfortable on my couch. “Don’t worry; I’ll have this place looking a little less like a pigsty when you get back.” Her nose wrinkles up, and I’m a little embarrassed at the mess and smell.
“You don’t have to do…”
“Shh. Bye.” She cuts me off as the guys push me out the door.
“Fuck you both! I’m not going in there!” Why the hell would they bring me back to the place where everything got fucked up?
“You can thank us later. Get your ass outta my car and come on,” Mav insists as he opens the driver’s side door.
“Come on, man. If you sit out here all night you’ll regret it, trust me,” Zac tells me as he pushes up the front passenger seat to let me out.
Walking into The Dugout, I look around, and it’s not overly busy yet tonight. I hate being here and that night comes flooding back. “Hey, fancy seeing y’all here,” Mav yells over the music. He grips my arm tightly and leads me over to…
“What’s he doing here?” Callie’s sweet voice is hard and unlike any tone I’ve ever heard come out of her. Her hate-filled eyes move between all of us. “You set me up? You lied and set me up! Whose side are you on? Take me home,” she demands of her sisters.
Fuck, I’ve missed her! Callie’s hair is up in that messy bun once again, her eyes are puffy and red, letting me know she’s been crying for a while now, and the green of her eyes isn’t as bright as the last time I saw her. She has no makeup on and her shirt looks more for comfort than going out. I never cared how she presented herself, whether it was how she looked when we dated or before she started tutoring me. All I cared about was her time, because I wanted it all. She’s still so fucking beautiful, and I feel like half my soul was ripped away from me.
Callie tries to get up from the booth, but Cayden pushes her shoulder back down. “No. You need to sit here and listen to what Dex has to say.” Callie slumps back into the booth like she doesn’t have the strength for a fight.
“You’ve been miserable without him, Callie,” Cydney tells her, then motions for us guys to sit down. “You love him, but you didn’t even fight for it. You left him without a chance to even explain.”
She loves me! Maybe I still have a chance to salvage our relationship if she can see why I didn’t tell her.
“Fine!” Callie’s green eyes meet my brown ones as she adds, “Say what you have to say, and then I’m outta here.” She looks around the booth. “I’m pissed at all of you.” She points to Zac and Mav. “Did you guys know? About that night?”
“No, they didn’t. No one did,” I respond before they get a chance to. Callie sits in between her sisters, so I sit in between the guys, that way I can be directly across from her as I start explaining my reasoning.
“I didn’t tell you in order to try and lie about it or deceive you.” Staring at Callie, I hope she can see the truth in my gaze.
“Then why? Do you know I wondered for so long who it was that night?” Callie’s green eyes shine with unshed tears, and I feel even worse now, if that’s even possible.
“I can imagine.” Looking down, I mess with an imaginary spot on the table.
“Can you really? Because I would think that if you could, that at any point in time you would have said something. At least to put my mind at ease, and I guess that’s why you didn’t ask questions—because you already knew.” Her voice grows louder the angrier she gets.
I look back up at Callie—as bad as it hurts, I have to keep eye contact with her. “I wanted to tell you so many times, but I didn’t know how. I wanted you to go on with your life after that night. I was hoping that you could go on and it wouldn’t have affected you like it did. I didn’t know it was you until that day you looked at me in class. I couldn’t believe that for weeks I had been sitting next to you and didn’t know who you were until that moment.”
Leaning back in the booth, she crosses her arms over her chest and accuses me some more. “So was it all a ruse; the tutoring, walking me home from work, and making me fall in love with you? Because I’m feeling like it was some kind of sick joke.”
“Are you fucking serious?” Huffing out a breath, I reply, “You know I needed help in Astronomy and if you think I’m lying, Mav can vouch for me.” And he does, with impossible speed and absolutely zero prompting, aside from my initial statement.
“It’s true, Callie, he was going to be benched if he didn’t raise his grade. He didn’t have a choice but to ask you for help.” Mav takes a pull from his beer that the waitress brought over.
“As for walking you home from work…I wanted to make sure you made it home safely. That night didn’t just leave my thoughts either, Callie. Do you understand how grateful I am that I followed you into the woods that night? I really hope that I did damage to that guy so he can’t try and hurt anyone else. And as for you falling in love with me, that’s real and you know it. Maybe a part of me wanted to keep it from you so I wasn’t just the guy that saved you and you wanted me for that. I didn’t have intentions of you and I becoming anything other than study partners in the beginning, but as time went on, my feelings grew for you. I fell in love with you a while ago, but I didn’t know if it was too soon to tell you. What’s so wrong with me wanting you to love me for me and not as just the guy who saved you?” My words are bitter; I didn’t realize until now that I really didn’t want her to love me as her savior.
When I got to know her, I wanted her to love me for me.
Callie swipes a tear off her cheek, and I really wish I could do it for her. My heart is breaking even more as I sit here watching her hurting. “I’m glad you were there too, and nothing is wrong with you wanting my feelings to be true and not out of gratitude, but you kept a big secret from me.” She’s calming down now as she relaxes a bit, and some of the tension slips away.
“Can you forgive me?” My eyes plead with hers.
“I don’t know—maybe in time, but not at this moment.” Callie shrugs her shoulder. I guess it’s progress. Better than nothing, at least.
“I’ll give you time, but I want you to know that I miss you so fucking much. I’m not the same without you; it’s like a part of me is missing. I really do love you, Callie, and I don’t want to lose you.” Her lip trembles as she sits there in silence. “Raine misses you too.”
“Please leave her out of this.” Her voice becomes shaky.
“I’m not bringing her into it—I’m just letting you know.” Maybe I am bringing her into it a little in the hopes that it’ll help my case.
Our talk ends, and the girls leave soon after, Cayden and Cydney giving me sympathy looks while Callie doesn’t even look my way as they walk out the door.
“Damn.” Mav finishes off his beer.
“She’ll be back,” Zac tries to reassure me.
“I’m ready to go.” I tell them as the feeling of defeat takes over.
“How was Raine?” I ask Cynthia as I walk into my living room. Looking around the place, I notice how clean it is now. “Thank you for cleaning.”
“Perfect, and you’re welcome.” She smiles, pats the seat next to her, and tells me, “Pop a squat. That look tells me things didn’t go so well.”
“She needs time.”
“Let me give you a little insight about Callie. She has a big heart, but she is the most stubborn of my three girls. She holds on to things like a hoarder, but I think that might be because of her father. You know, she’s never had feelings for a boy until you, so I think it’s even harder for her to accept what happened. In fact, they have this pact to never let feelings get involved when it comes to boys. It’s ludicrous, really, but it’s kept them protected all this time—until now. Give her time, and I believe her heart will guide her back to you.” Cynthia pats my leg, then stands up. “Now, you get some rest and I’m going to head upstairs.”
“Did you come all this way just to watch my daughter?” I question in wonder.
“No.” She laughs a little. “I had my own business to tend to here.” Wonder what business that could be? Cynthia shuts the door behind her, and I shrug my shoulder at her response then head into my bedroom, taking Raine’s monitor with me.