Chapter 1
“You’re not going anywhere yet. I wanted to show you just how much I appreciate all the tutoring.” I hear an edge to his tone that I don’t like.
No, that’s okay, you don’t need to show me anything. I want to go back now. Let go of my hand!” My body starts to shake.
I said you aren’t going anywhere.” I don’t even see it coming when his fist connects with my cheek.
I go down to the ground and try getting up, but he is on top of me. I fight and flail against Roger, but he’s too strong. I scream, hoping someone will help me, but the booming from the fireworks drowns out all hope.
Roger’s hands tug at my panties, trying to get them off after he hikes my dress up around my waist. I kick around and throw punches at him, but nothing is working. Tears have started falling from my eyes and I can’t believe this is happening.
One side of my panties is torn and he is working on the other side. “Shut up!” he yells before backhanding me a couple more times. It’s hard and hurts; my vision blurs and I can taste the coppery flavor of blood from where he split my lip. My mind starts to shut down, there’s absolutely nothing I can do—he’s going to rape me.
All of a sudden Roger is ripped off of me; he flies backwards and the tall, broad figure neither of us noticed before says, “Go now!” in a deep voice. I can’t see who it is or what he looks like, but I waste no time. Jumping up, I run. I run as fast as I can, trying to make my way through the trees. The fireworks give me some light, but I fall a few times until I get to the clearing.
Gasping for air, tears roll down my cheeks and sweat drips from my body as I wake from the nightmare. It’s been a few months since that night on the Fourth of July when Roger tried to rape me, and I have the same reoccurring dream every single night. Even though I know Roger went to jail and he can’t hurt me right now, I still feel as though I’m held captive by what could have happened.
Everywhere I go, I listen for that loud, deep voice, demanding that I run, in every man’s tone. I’m not sure I would even recognize the voice, since he only spoke two words. I’d like to hope I would so I could thank the mystery man for saving me. We had so many people there that night; it could be anyone, and I’ll probably never find out who he was. I remember the stature and outline of his body, but that’s not a lot to go on. I wish I had more to go on and hopefully I never forget those little details.
That night changed something inside of me and left me feeling empty. It’s almost like feeling dead inside. I don’t like it, but I can’t change it, it’s who I’ve become. Long gone are the short shorts and skirts, the tight-fitting tops, the makeup and doing my hair. I’m not the bubbly social butterfly I once was anymore. I stick to myself and my sisters and I hope to keep it that way. I don’t want to ever be put in a situation like that again. Maybe, just maybe, if I look my worst it will keep these college guys away from me. If not, then all the little triggers that cause me to freak out will surely do the trick.
My alarm clock screams loudly, letting me know it’s seven o’clock in the morning and time for me to get out of bed so I can make it to my first class. Reaching over to my nightstand, I hit the button to turn off the sound of Brantley Gilbert singing about the weekend. Oh, how I wish it was the weekend so I could sleep in and be holed up in our condo. I’ve never been a morning person, but out of the three of us girls, only one is bound to already be up with coffee brewing.
Coffee is life!
After a quick shower, I put my long auburn hair up in a messy bun on the top of my head, throw on some baggy jeans and an oversized t-shirt, and I am ready to go. Walking down the hallway from the bathroom, I start thinking about how lucky we were to have gotten our condo. Most of the time it’s a long waiting list.
I love that it’s right across the street from the college. They have multiple buildings set up for the students that need off-campus housing, so it was perfect for us. The inside is super nice with upped security. We were excited to find this 1600 sq. ft., three bedroom, two bath condo because it has plenty of space for the three of us.
I guess a few years ago the college bought the old vintage building and started doing renovations from the outside in. Our condo was the last to get done just this past summer. We fell in love as soon as we opened the front door because it has an open layout with cherry Brazilian hardwood floors throughout the space. Sunlight barrels through the French doors in the living room and the white painted walls give it a lively feel. The kitchen has matching beautiful cherry cabinetry and the light granite countertops give it a very modern look.
We jumped on it as soon as we were done looking, and then a week later when the call came saying it was ours, I don’t know who was more excited, us or Momma. The four of us jumped around Momma’s living room like a bunch of young girls that just found out their crush liked them back.
When we chose our furniture, we wanted to keep the modern theme going, so we went with black leather for our couch and loveseat and chose black wood and glass tables for the kitchen and living areas. It’s perfect for us.
We love the fact that it’s located on the third floor and the balcony has a great view of the campus, especially at night when the campus is lit up. It’s one amazing sight. The most important aspect for me is that it has the extra security, including the fact that you have to have a passcode to get inside the building. You also have to have a keycard to use the elevator, and there are security cameras on the outside as well as throughout the inside on every floor. In addition, the campus security watches to see who comes and goes, plus they do round-the-clock hourly drive-by checks to make sure no funny business is going on. This makes me feel so much better about my safety. Is it one hundred percent better, no, but it is a bonus, considering the events of this past summer.
As I walk into our kitchen I hear an expected and excited, “Good morning, Callie!” And there she is, the hyper-ass morning sister.
“Yeah, good morning, Cydney!” I grumble as I plop down in a chair at the kitchen table.
Cydney slides a cup of coffee in front of me while sitting in the seat next to mine. “Are you going to do your hair today? Maybe put on a little makeup?” Her motherly nature starts to come out, but I don’t want to hear it. She might be the oldest, but I’m grown and I don’t need her babying me.
“Don’t start, Cyd!” Bringing the hot liquid up to my lips, I blow a little so it can cool as I glare at my sister, letting her know to drop it.
Of course she doesn’t!
“I’m not starting! I’m just saying you can’t live like this forever. I know it was awful that night, but you are letting him win by turning into this recluse.” We heatedly stare at one another; this subject always takes a turn for the worst and quick.
“You dress like this, wear your hair this way, and you don’t ever put on makeup. What’s so wrong with me doing it?”
Cydney’s grey eyes bore into my green ones. “Because that’s who I am. I’ve always been this way, but you haven’t and this isn’t you, nor is it your style.” I know she’s right, but it just makes me so angry and I hate when they try to push shit on me.
Clutching the mug with both hands, I set it on the table and keep a tight hold on the cup. “I’m not going to be like this forever! I just need time to get over it. Can I at least have that?” I stand, shove the chair under the table, grab my bag off the kitchen counter, and decide I don’t really need breakfast.
“Maybe you should consider talking to someone.”
“I don’t need to fucking talk to someone. Leave it alone, and me while we’re at it.” I start to head out the door when our other sister comes into the room.
“What’s with all the yelling?” Cayden asks after yawning.
I know we woke her up, but right now I don’t care. “Ask her,” I tell Cayden as I tilt my head towards Cydney then slam the door behind me and head to my first class.
I hate when I fight with either of my sisters, but sometimes it’s inevitable, especially when they start in on me about the way I’ve been acting since that night happened. It’s times like this when our attitudes clash. I might be the nice one and she has the sassiness to her, but when I get mad my temper flares. Cayden tries to be gentle, but I’ve even had it out with her a time or two in the last couple months. Cayden is the toughest of us three, but I’ll stand up against her if it means leaving me the hell alone about that night. Still huffing and puffing, I get to the building for my Astronomy class.
I get to my Astronomy 101 class and find the same seat I’ve been sitting in for the last month, not too far in the front or back. I adjust my book, notebook, and pen on the table just as Professor Bryant shuts the classroom door as he walks into the room.
“Good morning!” His voice carries so the rows of students can hear him all the way in the back. Professor Bryant is a very handsome man. I’d say he is around our Momma’s age, so early forties, with a clean-shaven head, but he has that swoon-worthy perfect salt-and-pepper beard that women love. I’m sure he’s had a few girls and a whole lot of women drop at his feet, begging to get a good teaching or a little discipline with his ruler. Based on the way his suits squeeze to his body, you know there are some mighty fine muscles under there, and he has the height to go along with it at over six feet tall. I would put money on it that more than one girl in this class has a crush on the professor.
Professor Bryant has an intensity to him that’s unexplainable, yet he is one of the best and most laid-back professors I have. Those hazel eyes shine with a passion that I have ever only seen from one other person—and that’s me.
He takes his usual position, sitting on his desk as class begins. “So on Tuesday, we talked about the different eclipses and what they mean. Today we are going to talk about…”
I’m trying to stay focused on Professor Bryant, but the little hairs on the back of my neck are standing straight up. I feel his eyes on me, the same eyes that I have felt for the last month. I lift my hand and rub the back of my neck, trying to stay calm. Any male attention sends me on high alert now; it raises my anxiety, and I suddenly feel very uncomfortable. He sits right next to me, so that doesn’t help matters.
Sucking in air, I take deep breaths, trying to keep control. My palm rubs against my jeans as the sweat starts to form. The hour passes in a blur as I catch the last bit of what Professor Bryant is saying. “You will need to start picking a partner for your final project. I’ll leave it up to you to choose, but do so wisely, because this will count as thirty percent of your final grade. Class dismissed.”
You have got to be kidding me! I need to pick a partner and haven’t even spoken to one single person in this class. At least I have a little time to decide. Maybe I can talk to Professor Bryant and see who the best fit would be. Shaking my head, I grab my belongings and head for my next class.
Walking home after class, my mind is all over the place. I need my sisters! They have always been there to help when I start feeling like my world is spinning out of control. When I get the condo door open, both are sitting on the couch, watching a movie. “Hey,” I announce my arrival as I join them in our living room.
“Hey,” they reply in unison.
“We were waiting for you. I wanted to say I’m sorry for this morning,” Cydney tells me with hesitation. I know they’re wary around me because they know I’ve changed. It makes me feel terrible that they feel like they have to watch what they say or walk on eggshells because they don’t know how I will react anymore.
“I’m sorry too. I know you guys are just trying to help, but I promise in time I will go back to the old me. Right now I just need you to be there and let me go at my own pace.”
“We can do that,” Cayden says as she stands, holding her arms open. Cydney and I come in for a group hug while laughing. The three of us take our places on the couch, continue with the movie, and pig out on junk food for the rest of the evening.