Chapter 3
The week passed by in a blur with studying for some upcoming tests, writing a paper for English, and trying to find a part-time job. Scholarship money and what Momma helps with tides us over, but it would be nice to have a little extra income. So... I went searching for jobs close to or on campus and there were a few. The one I’m hoping to get is at the on-campus café. They said they would call, but it’s been a few days, so I’m anxiously waiting for my phone to ring. I’m not thrilled about being out of the condo more, but I need to do my part in helping out.
It’s Thursday morning and here I am again, sitting in my usual seat, waiting for Professor Bryant to start Astronomy 101. That same guy is sitting next to me, as always, and staring once again. I don’t look at him, but it’s starting to get distracting and really uncomfortable. I know nothing about him; not his name, what he looks like, nothing. The only reason I know he is a guy is because I glanced up on the first day and saw he was wearing loose-fitting men’s jeans and an American Fighter t-shirt that hugged his muscles. I quickly dropped my head back down, so I didn’t even make it to his face.
Taking a deep breath, I channel my inner Cydney sass and turn towards the distractor. “Can I help you?” I come face-to-shoulder with him, so I put my best Cayden bitchface on, with narrowed eyes and pursed lips, then raise my head to meet his eyes. Oh my heavens—he’s gorgeous!
My head comes to the top of his shoulders, so he has to be at least six-foot-two. He’s wearing a grey beater that makes his olive toned skin appear even tanner, and the black baseball cap he has on is turned backwards in that sexy way guys wear them. I see short dark brown hair peeking out from underneath the cap, hair that matches those chocolate brown eyes, and his defined jaw leads to a rounded chin that is covered by his dark goatee. Ah, but I see a labret piercing that looks hot on him. Oh my, those lips…those plump, kissable lips that are full and half-grinning at me. Probably because he knows I’m checking him out and my mouth might be watering just a little. Nope, that’s a lie—it’s watering a lot!
Back to those chocolate brown eyes that now have my face heating up because they just so happen to be checking me out in much the same way mine were. Moving along to his broad shoulders that lead to two very muscular arms that are covered in tattoos, the man is pure sin in a very sexy way, and he looks like the total package of perfection. Too bad he scares the bajesus outta me. He would have been my type before; the sexy southern boy with the backwards cap, muscles, tattoos, and piercings. Those were my turn-ons.
He shakes his head and drops it quickly, like he can’t believe what he just saw, while answering my question at the same time. I get one last lingering glance before turning back to listen to Professor Bryant.
When class is dismissed, I grab my belongings, head down the stairs, and place my written report on Professor Bryant’s desk. It wasn’t due for two more weeks, but I had time, so why not get it done early if I could. I feel a hand on my arm and when I turn around, there he stands. Out of reflex, I pull my arm away and scowl at him.
“Hey! I’m Dex. I sit next to you.” He rubs the back of his neck with his free hand while giving me a grin. He’s nervous. Well so am I, buddy.
“Yes, I know.”
“Right.” Dex chuckles a little before continuing, “You’re Callie, right?” How would he know my name?
I ask just that. “How do you know my name?” My alertness is rising by the second.
“I’ve heard Professor Bryant say your name when he talks to you.” Now it’s my turn to say, “Right.” Damn it, even that chuckle was sexy, and so is his gruff voice.
“What can I do for you?” I just want to get out of here. I want to get to my room on the top floor of the building we live in, where I feel safe. I haven’t talked to a man—besides the professors that I have—since that night. I peek around his shoulder to see Professor Bryant sitting at his desk, pretending not to be eavesdropping, but I can see that little sneaky ass smirk of his. Turning my attention back to Dex, I lift my green eyes to meet his chocolate ones and wait for his response.
“I know you get really good grades in this class and I need some help. I’m failing this class; my scholarship will be taken away and my baseball-playing days are numbered if I can’t get my grade back up.” He’s rambling and while it’s kind of cute, I’m not feeling any better; worse actually. I know where this is going and the sour taste of bile rises in my throat. He goes on, “I was wondering if you would be willing to tutor me and help me out?” For a second, I stare at Dex like I’ve seen a ghost. I’m sure I’m as white as one.
“No!” I practically scream. I leave him standing there, stunned, as I get in the hallway. My breathing becomes erratic and I start bumping into other students. I hear the “hey” and “watch where you’re going” from numerous people as I rush to get out of this building that suddenly feels like it’s closing in on me.
The last thing I hear is, “Callie, wait!” I make it to the doors and shoot through them like a rocket. In a full-speed run, I make it to our building in less than a minute. I go through all the security, make it to our condo and into my room, flying onto the bed. I grab my pillow, holding it close to my chest as the tears fall and the flashback comes.
“Hi! Are you Callie?”
I stand from my chair in the library. “Yes! Are you Roger?”
“I am! It’s so nice to meet you, and thank you for taking me on. I just can’t get this calculus stuff to make sense.” Roger takes a seat across from me, and I sit back down.
“Oh, it’s no problem, I’m happy to help.”
As the weeks went by, Roger grew increasingly flirtier, touchier, and creepier. I stopped it every time; I never fed into it or led him on.
Sometime during the onslaught of memories, Cydney came in and lay beside me, held me, and now is shushing me as I cry. Once again, her motherly nature comes out to take care of me when I need her, just like Momma would have if she was here. As my breathing starts to even out, she asks, “Callie, how are you feeling?” A sister’s concern is always appreciated. “I swear, if we could go back to that night… Things would be so different.”
“I’m tired, but I’m doing ok.” I think. “I know, but we can’t.” My voice is hoarse from all the crying, my body feels weak, and my head is pounding.
“You want to talk about it?” Cydney asks while rubbing her hand soothingly up and down my back. Shaking my head “no” against her chest, I start to get control of myself again. “You have a missed call.”
My eyes fly open and I hop out of my sister’s arms and off the bed. Maybe it’s the café. I need some good after this horrible day. And I missed all of my other classes between my retreat home and the unbidden recollection of the beginning of my nightmares. Searching the floor for my phone, because that’s where I threw everything in my haste, Cydney hands it to me.
I find the missed call and hit the button to call back, my fingers crossed because I don’t recognize the number. After a few rings, someone answers, “College Café. This is Lisa, how can I help you?”
“Hi, Lisa! This is Callie Fisher—I missed a call from you.” I bite down on my bottom lip waiting to hear good news.
“Yes, Callie! Thank you for returning my call. I went over your application and the interview you did, and I would like to offer you the job and get you in here tomorrow at four pm for paperwork and training.”
“I’ll be there! Thank you so much.” I hang up with a smile on my face. I really needed that call right now.
“Who was that?” Cydney questions from my bed.
“I’ll tell you tonight at our family meeting. Right now I need a hot shower.” I have a sway in my step as I gather everything I need and head to the bathroom.
Placing both hands on the bathroom counter, I look into the oval mirror and hate the reflection that stares back at me. My once vibrant deep green eyes are now dead. My normally tanned skin is pale from being indoors so much, and dark circles have taken up space under my eyes from the lack of sleep. I’ve never let myself go like this, but I can’t go back to how I was. It will draw attention and I don’t want that. Turning away from the mirror, I check the temperature of the water. It’s hot and perfect! I step inside and close the curtain so I don’t get water everywhere.
The shower feels absolutely amazing as I let the water cascade over me. Trying to clear my thoughts, I start to replay that night in my head. I slide down the wall of the shower and sit there, wanting it all to go away. I can’t live like this anymore! I need help or I need to make a change—something has got to give. I hardly sleep because the nightmares come, I can’t talk to a guy anymore without freaking out, and I don’t leave this condo unless I have class. Who does this to themselves? Me, that’s who!
The pain, the sorrow, and especially the feeling of not living my life anymore have all got to stop. I need to start putting the past behind me and look forward to the future. Poor Dex, he probably thinks I’m some crazy person, and I can understand why he would think that. I don’t care that much about myself right now, but I think that needs to change. I want the old me, the old Callie back. I’m just not sure where to start trying to get her back. I wish time machines existed so I could go back and do things differently, but they don’t and I can’t. I guess I’ll just have to take one day at a time from here and take one step at a time. I’ll start by working in the café and that’s good enough for now.
“Smells good in here. What are you cooking?” I ask as I come into the kitchen after my shower. Cayden always knows how to bring a little bit of Momma to the place.
“We’re having roasted chicken, asparagus, and rice pilaf,” Cayden responds as she pulls the chicken from the oven. “Cydney told me you had a freak-out. I’m so glad Roger got his ass handed to him that night, but I would have loved to get my hands on him. I’da shoved my twenty-two in his face and repeated Scarface! ‘Say hello to my little friend.’” And this is why she is the badass. She wouldn’t hesitate to take a person out for hurting someone she loves.
Even though I know Cayden is completely serious I can’t help not giggling. I hate to say it, but I wouldn’t mind seeing him dead so he’d never be able to hurt me again. “Change of subject. Dinner sounds good!” That makes her laugh and I join in. I’m starving, so I’m all-in for her cooking.
One thing Momma taught us how to do well was cook. She taught us many things as we grew up, but with her having to work so much, we needed to feed each other, so all three of us excelled in cooking. We made a deal when it was the three of us home that the one who cooked didn’t have to clean, so while I like it when the other two cook, the cleaning isn’t my favorite part to do, but it’s only fair.
After dinner is finished and everything is cleaned, we sit back down at the table to start our family meeting. Cayden sets her cell phone in the middle of the table on speaker as it rings.
“Hello.” You can hear the happiness in her tone.
We all say in unison, “Hey, Momma!”
“My girls! How are you this week?”
Smiling at each other, Cydney starts, “Classes are good. I got a job at Barry’s Garage a few blocks from where we live.”
“Always my tomboy.” We hear her laughter through the phone and join in.
“Classes are good for me and I’m still looking for a job,” Cayden tells her.
“I’m sure you will find something soon. And Callie?”
“I’m doing ok. I’ve had a few freak-outs, but I got a part-time job at the café on campus.” I smile and look at my sisters. They’re grinning back at me.
“That’s so good, Callie. I think that will help some, getting out and being around people. I’m proud of all you girls.” Momma’s tone starts sounding shaky and we know she is holding back the tears.
We chime in unison, “Thanks, Momma!” I add, “How are you?”
“I’m the same: working all the time, but the house is awfully quiet and lonely without you three. Have you found any boys that have caught your eye?” When Momma switches to boy-talk she’s trying to be happy and not get emotional.
“NO!” We all practically yell into the phone, which makes us all laugh again.
“One day you three are gonna find your matches. Now, whether they can put up with all your feistiness? That’s another story.” She laughs more, and I picture her shaking her head at the thought.
“Momma!” we all say again, laughing.
“Well, it’s true, and when those boys come along I will welcome them in with open arms. Now, I’m coming to visit in a couple of months around Thanksgiving, and I’ve already requested the time off work.”
Yes! I can’t wait to see her again. We talk more about her visiting and how long she will be here for, and after another hour we say goodnight and hang up. After the long day, I tell my sisters goodnight and I head to bed for another restless sleep.