I loved showing Rori around my place because she appreciated it.

She was the first woman I’d had over, so it’d also been fun sharing it all with her.

On the roof, I’d wanted to kiss her so badly, I could hardly stop myself, but I did because I’m a strong man like that. Also, because she still wasn’t giving me the vibe that she wanted to be kissed, plus, I didn’t want to get slapped.

While we ate, we’d had a great conversation about movies and we found we both liked pretty much the same ones. Once, she got up to clear our salad bowls off the table for some reason, wanting to help, I guess, and when she opened the pantry door, she started laughing so hard, it made me smile just hearing her.

“You are so busted!” she called out and I frowned wondering what she was talking about. When she carried the box the spaghetti Bolognese had come in from an Italian restaurant downtown into the dining room to show me, I’d actually felt my cheeks get hot because I definitely had been busted.

We’d had a good laugh with me admitting the most I could cook was grilled cheese sandwiches but I was trying to impress her. The rest of our conversation was just as easy as I had been at first, with each of us talking about where we’d grown up, then telling stories of our childhood through college years, and I had to admit, I was shocked at how nice she was being, which made me feel bad at serving her papers.

We finished our meals and over the tiramisu I’d also had Filomena’s deliver, we looked at each other and at the same time said, “Look, I’m—” Then we’d laughed and I’d told her to go first.

“I was just gonna apologize for Super Bitch making an appearance,” she said remorsefully.

“Super Bitch?”

She nodded. “Leaps cocky assholes in a single bound.”

I snorted. “That’s what you think of me, huh?”

“Maybe not after tonight…”

That was good. She was seeing me as a guy she might want to date, which meant she’d eventually want to have sex with me, at least I hoped she would, then I could move on.

Ladies. I’m a guy. Sex is never far from our thoughts. You should know that by now. And the moving on part? I know. I’m a dick. But my five-year plan was still in the works.

I cleared my throat and stated, “Well, I was gonna apologize for suing you.”

And then it was like another person showed up as I watched her remember that I’d sent her papers.

I saw her body go tense and I muttered, “Fuck,” but it was already out there. I’d ruined the evening. “Rori, I’ll drop—”

“I need to go,” she insisted, standing and taking her plate to the counter by the sink.

“Rori, I was just trying to—”

“Please take me home,” she whispered.

Our nice evening was over.

I tried explaining on the ride to her apartment, but she kept asking me to “Please be quiet” so I shut up. I went with her up to her apartment, and at the door she seemed to recall the terms of the lawsuit and stuck her cheek out for me to kiss. Then giving me a hollow thank you, she went inside her apartment closing the door in my face and that was the end of what’d started out as a great night.

So now you see the lawsuit worked, yet again it didn’t.

On the way back to my place, I cranked my music, singing along with Seether’s latest song. At home, I cleaned the kitchen, putting away the food to eat as leftovers the next couple days, loaded the dishwasher then made it to my bedroom where I showered, brushed my teeth then lay down.

It was only then I allowed myself to think about my evening with Rori.

Staring up at the ceiling, I thought about what I wanted: I wanted to win the Super Bowl, first and foremost. I wanted to continue having a successful career. I wanted to make a lot more money so I could have a comfortable future after retiring from playing. And finally, I wanted a family.

In that order.

But there was one little glitch.

I also wanted Rori.

Then I thought of my five-year plan and felt I could accomplish all my “wants” in that amount of time. Then and only then, would I make time for a relationship and finally a family.

But Rori was screwing shit up and I hadn’t even really kissed her yet. Jesus.

So, you know how they say older people are set in their ways? I felt I must have an old soul or something because I was pretty set too, not wanting to vary from my plan even though something inside was tugging at me to make a change.

I fell asleep wondering how I could make things work.

“Don’t file anything,” I told Tanner the next morning. “I’m dropping it.”

“No? You sure?” he replied.

“Yeah. I did it mostly to scare her and it worked. But thanks, man. We’ll have to make it out to Burning Tree in the spring and play a couple rounds,” I said.

“We will. I’m dying to try out my new nine-iron after I trashed my old one,” he stated with a chuckle.

I laughed. “I think my driver’s still in the pond with the fountain from the last time we went.”

“I know my three-wood is. Just give me a shout and we’ll head out there one weekend.”

“Sounds good. Thanks again. I appreciate it,” I replied.

I guess I should’ve called Rori to let her know I’d dropped the suit, but I still had a lot of thinking to do.

I called Carson that afternoon—she’s gonna tell me to fuck off at some point in our conversation as usual. Just wait.

“You guys are still coming to the dance this Saturday, right?” I asked.

Wait for it.

We’d talked about the KIDS Klub charity dance last Saturday at Tinley’s birthday party, and she and her husband had still been on the fence about it not knowing if they’d be available, so I was checking to see if they’d decided.

“Myles and I’ll be there with bells on,” my twin sister said.

Wait for it.

“Uh, that’s fuckin’ weird, but okay.”

“Fuck off, Calder.”

BOOM! Told ya.

I laughed. “Best sister ever.”

“Damn straight I am. Are you taking a date to this dance? I wanna be prepared when you introduce Bunny or Buffy or Bizzy or whatever stripper you’re dating. I mean, I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and shit out bigger words than these chicks of yours use.”

“It was Bitsy and she was a senator’s daughter,” I replied indignantly. But she was right. I’d been dating women I knew I’d never see myself with for the long haul. They were easy, not so much speaking of sex-wise, although it was true, but they didn’t ask a whole lot from me. We met, we went out, we fucked, we moved on. They got to go out with a celebrity, and I had a beautiful woman on my arm for any event I might have to attend as well as in my bed afterward. Win-win. But not Rori. She’d ask for everything, I knew. She’d challenge me. And she’d be a partner. And I wasn’t ready for that. 

“Oh, well, la-dee-dah.”

“You’re PMSing, aren’t you?” I asked knowing she hated when I said that.

“No! Sam’s teething and he’s kept me up the past two nights. Poor little guy’s in so much pain and all I can do is rub numbing stuff on it.”

“Well, damn. I hate that for him.”

“Yeah, but Myles was a sweetheart this morning and brought me these amazing cinnamon rolls from some bakery on Fourteenth Street. And I mean, they were ah-maze-ing!”

“I know the place. Matter of fact, I sort of had a date with the owner last night,” I confessed.

“Marry her, Calder! Do it! Today! Anyone who makes something that heavenly has to be perfect!”

I frowned. “I screwed up with her, though.”

“What? How?”

“I sued her for defamation of character,” I confided.

“Wait! She was the woman on the radio with you, wasn’t she? The one who alluded to your having STDs.” She snorted. “And you sued her for that?”

“I didn’t really sue her. I just had Tanner draw up some papers to, uh, scare her so…she’d go out with me.” I mumbled the last part hoping she wouldn’t hear it. “But I dropped it.”

And, of course, she’d heard it. Carson never missed a fucking beat. “You threatened to sue a woman so she’d go out with you.”

“Well, hearing it said that way makes it sound bad.”

She cracked up. “Oh, my God, little brother. That’s the funniest thing I’ve heard in a long time.”

I rolled my eyes not only at her laughing but at her calling me little brother as she was merely two minutes older than I was.

“Since when did you have to start suing women to get them to date you?” She was still giggling but it was dying down.

I let out a breath. “She’s a tough one, Car. But I think I’m done with her.”

“Why?”

“My five-year plan.”

“Oh, good lord, Calder. Love happens whenever it happens,” she groused.

“Whoa whoa whoa. Who said anything about love? As far as I’m concerned, that’s a four-letter word. And it scares the bajeezus outta me.”

“Look, I know you have plans and they’re amazing. I mean, look at all you’ve accomplished so far. But sometimes you’ve got to let the chips fall where they may. That’s what makes life so exciting, honey.”

“I have enough excitement as it is trying to out-maneuver beefy linemen,” I mumbled.

“You’re such an old codger with an old soul, I swear.”

See? Told you I had an old soul.

“I guess.”

“Just think about Baker Girl, okay? She could be the one and you don’t want her to be the one who got away,” she advised.

Fuck. This would be the last time I talked to my sister about women.

“You just want cinnamon rolls,” I teased trying to lighten shit up.

“You’re onto me. Okay, I hear Sam fussing so I need to get him before he wakes Tinley from her nap. Love you.”

“Love you too,” I replied and we hung up.

Now, damn it. You came into this thinking it was gonna be a rom-com and here I am whining about a woman to you. We’ll get back to rom-com’ing shortly. I promise.