What Roark said to me last night woke me up, and I knew I was on my way to becoming myself again.

Halle-friggin-lujah.

After getting home from Mom and Dad’s, I did some more soul-searching wondering when I’d given over my autonomy to Noah or at what point I’d begun putting so much into what he thought of me. I wished I could go back to that moment and stop myself, but I doubted it had happened at one single time. It was probably gradual and I hadn’t even realized what I’d been doing.

It also wasn’t anything Noah had done intentionally. It wasn’t like he was emotionally abusive or anything; he just wasn’t who he was trying to be. Therefore, he’d been unhappy, and I think I’d sensed that and in trying to make him happy, I’d thrown all of me into making our relationship work. And that’s when I’d lost myself. 

Roark was right saying that’s why I’d been so reluctant to date again. I was terrified of losing more of me. I made a note to myself to make his favorite, lemon pudding crème puffs, tomorrow and have them delivered to his office.

Now that I’d opened my eyes, I saw Calder for what he was, a nice guy who was obviously interested in me, and that didn’t scare me even the least bit. Funny how much a day can make a difference. Or a conversation with your big brother.

I’d told Mara the next morning at work about Roark and my talk. She’d squealed, she’d been so happy. Then she’d cried because she hadn’t thought of it first and said she could’ve saved me months of heartache.

After work, I followed her to her apartment where we planned to dress as Madonna pre-cone boobs and Madonna with cone boobs. We both looked great, I thought so anyway, and we’d taken off for the dance. Going inside, I’d handed the check I’d written, combining both Mara’s and my donations, to a man I was pretty sure was Calder’s father, but I didn’t say anything. Mara and I posed for the pictures that were being taken for the newspaper then we went in to “bust a move.”

Of course, I’d seen Calder DJ’ing, and I’d waited to feel the panic I was used to, but it never came. When I told Mara, she did her best Ace Ventura impression saying, “Roark has exorcised the demons!” making me crack up.

So now that you’re all caught up on that stuff, we can move forward!

I’d danced with Calder, and it felt normal. It felt good. I’d rested my head against his chest and it felt right.

After our dance, I’d gone with him to the DJ booth and helped him for the rest of the night, taking requests and covering when he took a bathroom break. And I’d had a blast. We’d laughed at the requests: “Ghostbusters,” “Dancing on the Ceiling,” “The Safety Dance,” what? and some guy wearing what looked like a flower pot had come up requesting a song called “Whip It,” so yeah. Just before the dance was over, I’d snuck in “Ice Ice Baby” just for him and he’d danced with me, and he was good! 

Then it was midnight and everyone was leaving.

“I guess I should’ve asked earlier, but can you give me a ride home?” I asked him.

He chuckled. “Of course. But it’s just gonna cost you.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “What?”

“A kiss.”

I sighed dramatically, and said, “Okay, but I won’t like it.”

He snorted. “We’ll see about that.”

At my apartment building, I was tempted to ask him up but knew I’d jump his sexy ass, so I didn’t.

“I had fun tonight,” I said as we sat in his truck.

“Yeah, I did too.” He looked at me. “You seemed…different.”

I smiled. “Yeah. I feel different.”

“Something happen?”

I shrugged not wanting to get too deeply into it just then. “My brother Roark talked to me about some things and I’ll just say he opened my eyes.”

Calder nodded. “Good. I liked how you were tonight. You seemed so…relaxed.”

I chuckled. “I am.”

“Are you free tomorrow night?”

I thought for a moment not remembering if I was supposed to go to dinner at Mara’s or at any of my brothers’ places, then realized my night was wide open. “Yep. Totally free.”

“How about tomorrow afternoon?” he questioned.

“I’m free all day.”

“How about lunch then a Capitals game?”

“That sounds fun,” I stated.

“Good, I’ll pick you up around noon?”

“I’ll be ready!”

“We’re stalling, aren’t we?” he pointed out and I cracked up.

“Yeah, I think we are,” I said, giggling.

“God. Let’s just get it over with,” he said, acting as if kissing me was a chore and making me laugh more.

Then leaning into me, he brushed his hand underneath my hair to the back of my neck and pulled me closer. Then his lips were on mine and it was amazing. His lips were soft and sensuous and the kiss was hot and deep. We kept going and somehow, I ended up straddling him in his lap, his hands on my thighs and my short Madonna skirt threatening to expose my lady bits.

He pulled back from our kiss and looked up at me. “Hi.”

I smiled. “Hi.”

We dove right in again, lips smashing together, hands everywhere, groans and moans abundant, and when I unwittingly ground my core against him, feeling that he was hard, I knew we had to stop.

Pulling back, I gasped, “Oh, my God. The windows!”

“Foggy windows mean you liked that kiss.” He smirked.

I smirked right back. “Or that you’re a mouth-breather.”

He barked out a laugh and I loved seeing it. My God, he was beautiful.

Looking at the windows again, so fogged I couldn’t even see outside, I whispered, “Told you I wouldn’t like it.”

He came up and gave me a short but sweet kiss and said, “That wet spot on my leg says different.”

My insides went wild hearing that, my womb dipping and clenching up. “Calder,” I breathed, pretty sure I’d flooded his leg.

“Fucking hell,” he answered, crushing his mouth to mine again, one hand going to the back of my head as he kissed me roughly, his other hand moving under my skirt where his fingers found my clit and rolled it.

Holy shit. I’d never been more turned on in my life, and an orgasm slammed through me from out of nowhere making me cry out into his mouth as we kissed.

Taking his lips from mine, he looked up to see me breathing hard, still straddling him, and growled, “Never seen anything so goddamn beautiful, Rori.”

“Calder, stop saying sweet things because you’re gonna make me come again,” I said between breaths.

“Fuck,” he murmured.

Then lifting me off him, he sat me back on my seat and turning off his truck engine, he got out and walked around to my door opening it and helping me out. He held my hand as we went inside, but neither of us said a word.

At my apartment door, I asked, “Do you want to come in?”

His face went hard, he closed his eyes and I thought he was mad, but when he opened his eyes again and said, “It’s taking everything I have to tell you no,” I knew he was trying to be a gentleman.

I decided to go with it, thinking, Why rush things now?

“Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow?” I said.

“Yeah. I need your number.”

He unlocked his phone and handed it to me where I added myself as a contact. I only got distracted one time—or five—at his hard cock pressing against his jeans zipper. When he’d told the radio guys he had the big dick part down, he wasn’t kidding.

God help me.

I handed him back his phone then he gave me a quick kiss.

“Goodnight, Rori,” he said.

“’Night, Calder,” I answered, biting my lip as I closed my door and heard him groan. I looked out of the peephole once inside and saw him rub a hand over his face, looking like he was in pain, before he turned to go.

I went to my bedroom to change out of my Madonna getup and was just about to step into the shower when my phone rang.

“What are you doing?” Calder asked.

“I was just about to shower.”

“What are you wearing?” I started to reply when he interrupted saying, “Never mind! Don’t tell me. I barely made it into my seat as it is. I just got my dick to calm down. Don’t need a boner the entire time I drive home.”

I laughed. “Good thinking.”

“I had a really good time with you tonight.”

“I did too, with you, of course,” I clarified.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, baby,” he said.

“Bye, Calder,” I replied and we hung up.

After showering and getting ready for bed, I noticed it was almost one-thirty when I finally lay down to sleep, and thanked my lucky stars I didn’t have to work in the morning.

Just as I drifted off, my phone chimed. Grabbing it, I saw a text from who I assumed was Calder.

Text Message—Sun, Jan 15, 1:32 a.m.

Unknown: Goodnight, beautiful

Text Message—Sun, Jan 15, 1:32 a.m.

Me: Calder?

Unknown: Yeah?

Me: Just making sure! I don’t have your number in my phone yet

I sat up and quickly added him as a contact.

Calder: You have a lot of men text you goodnight?

Me: LOL None

Calder: Good. See you tomorrow, babe

Me: Okay.

Calder: Goodnight

Me: Night <3

I fell asleep shortly after.