After leaving the bakery that afternoon, I’d gone to Carson’s, who, of course, welcomed me with open arms since I came bearing gifts.

Tinley was home from preschool but was taking a nap but the house was still awfully quiet, and I asked, “Where’s Sam?”

“Myles’ mom came over to get him a couple hours ago saying she needed some Sam time. I told her it was okay by me because I could get some things done around here. I’ve already done three loads of laundry, folded and put away, swept, mopped and waxed the kitchen floor and made cupcakes for Tinley’s class party tomorrow,” she bragged.

“Damn, look at you, Mother of the Year.”

“That’s right. Now the coffee mug Tin got me for Christmas is no longer a lie! Go me!”

I laughed. “I guess my Brother of the Year mug’s still being made?”

“It’s a tricky little bastard being twenty-seven years in the making,” she joked.

“Same as your Sister of the Year one,” I retorted.

“Ha ha. Good one,” she said then she looked at me seriously. “Okay, what’s up. Although I appreciate the cinnamon rolls, and I’d have one right now if I hadn’t already indulged in a Butterfinger, I know you just don’t come visit in the middle of the day for no reason.”

“You caught me. But, really, I’ve been needing to talk to you since the charity dance.”

“Why?” she asked with a frown.

I sighed. “I need your advice about Rori.”

“Okay, hit me.”

“First of all, how do you know? How’d you know Myles was the one for you? I mean, I thought Bridget was the one until I caught her fucking Matt Andrews. And for a while I thought Sara was the one until she became too controlling. Is there a timeline to know this shit? How do you know?”

“Hey, slow down, honey. Let’s go over this as thoroughly as we can, okay?” she said and I nodded as I blew out a breath as she went on. “I’m not gonna lie and say something clicks inside you and suddenly you know. I mean, all it really comes down to is that you’re compatible with the person you’re with, you actually genuinely like them on top of loving them, and probably the most important part is when you think about not being with them and it’s painful, I mean, it takes your breath away like you’ve been socked in the stomach, and you know you couldn’t bear to live even a single day without them in your life, that’s a pretty good start in knowing. But, baby brother, I hate to break it to you, but other than that, it’s pretty much just a leap of faith.” She shrugged. “No one knows for sure. You just have to trust that the other person will fulfill their promises to you just as you have to prove the same to them.”

Well, fuck. I was hoping it all came down to the clicky thing inside. This was not what I wanted to hear.

“So you’re saying no one ever truly knows,” I said.

She shook her head. “No one ever truly knows.”

“Damn.”

“Do you think you might want to spend your life with Rori?” she asked.

“I don’t know. I want to spend my life right now with her, that I do know, but the long haul? I’m totally clueless,” I admitted.

“That’s okay, Calder. Everybody in the entire world who’s ever gotten married feels that way at one time or another. You’re not unique in your feelings.”

“What about my five-year plan. I’ve focused on it for so damn long, I feel like it’s what I should do.”

“Do you really think it’s what you should do? Could you walk away from Rori just to stick to some plan?”

“It’s all about the timing. Why couldn’t I have met her four years from now? Then this wouldn’t be a problem,” I said.

She shook her head. “That’s not the right way to look at things. Life is unpredictable. You can’t schedule who you fall in love with. It doesn’t work that way. And even if you hadn’t met Rori now, who’s to say you’d meet someone like her in four years or however long’s left.”

I blew out a breath. “I don’t know what to do. She and I are getting really close. We haven’t had sex yet, but we’ve done all but.”

“Why haven’t you had sex?”

“She wanted to wait. Wanted us to get to know each other some first. Which we’ve done. And now I think we’ve become so used to just fooling around, neither of us has thought to take it to the next level.”

I looked at my sister who was grinning.

“I can’t believe I just fucking said that. Do you see why I’m confused? I just told you I hadn’t thought of sex. Me, The BFD, hasn’t thought of sex. Jesus Christ.”

She giggled. “That’s a miracle in itself right there. Wait until I call ESPN.”

“Not even funny.”

“What do you think you’re gonna do?” she asked. “Seriously.”

“Seriously? I don’t know.” And I didn’t.

She pursed her lips. “I’ll just say this much. If you think you can live without Rori for the rest of your life, then you should probably break up because she’s not the one.”

I left my sister’s more confused than ever. When my phone chimed and I saw Rori’s text about what to pick up from the grocery store, I felt better but not much.

Was I an “in the moment” kinda guy? I mean, I thought of Rori all the time. I missed her when I was away from her, but when we were together or she texted me like she just had, I felt really good about where we were at and the questions I’d asked Carson today faded away. But was it just because it was in the moment that I felt better since those questions came back when I was alone?

I decided to drop it because it was making my fucking head hurt.

So that night was one of my favorite nights ever. Rori had come over and baked a casserole and just looking at her made me happy. Made me smile because she lit up the room with her presence. And I couldn’t keep my hands off of her.

Announcement: WE FINALLY HAD SEX.

It was great too. I mean, I’d never really had bad sex before, maybe mediocre sex where the woman just kind of laid there and didn’t really respond to anything I did, but sex with Rori was fan-fucking-tastic.

I’d never been with someone who almost came at just the sound of my voice. Let me tell you, that was a big ego boost.

So even though the sex had been spectacular, I hate to tell you but I was more confused than ever.

She ended up spending the night at my place that night and in addition to christening the kitchen island, we did the same in the shower, in my bed, of course, in the weight room, and the living room. Needless to say, I was exhausted the next morning, not having worked out that much since my last game.

Rori had driven home at four that morning to get ready for work and I’d gone back to sleep, telling her to text me when she made it. I know, not very gentlemanly of me, but she’d driven over the night before, so she insisted on driving herself home.

When I got up around eight, I called her at work to make sure she was doing okay, and she assured me she was. She also sounded really happy and that made me happy.

At ten I drove to the fieldhouse to do my regular workout. I was feeling pretty fucking good about things, you know, because sex, and walked inside with a smile.

“You look like the cat that ate the canary for breakfast,” James Hunter said. “Man, what’s up with you? You make some money on the market or something?”

I shrugged because I didn’t want to talk about having sex with Rori. Although I’d bragged about other women before, Rori was different.

I started my workout and felt good, concentrating on my reps when Hunt interrupted my thoughts again.

“You fuckin’ somebody regular, ain’t you?” he said with a smile. I rolled my eyes and shook my head and he clapped his hands and pointed at me. “You are! You’re fuckin’ some bitch regular!”

I gritted my teeth at his calling Rori a bitch, but he wasn’t really calling her that since I hadn’t shared anything about her with him, so I kept quiet.

Half the offensive team showed up over the next hour, and at one point, Andre Jenkins overheard Hunt, who was still fucking badgering me, and asked, “You got yourself a honey, Castle?”

“Yeah, he does,” Hunt chimed in. “He’s getting banged every day now like a champ.”

“You got a girl now, Castle?” Ty King asked.

“Jesus Christ! What’s with you guys today? What, you’re not getting any yourself so you have to live vicariously through me? Fuck!”

They left me alone after that, but none of that was really their fault. We usually joked about the women we were banging, so what had happened was just the norm. When I finished, I went by and apologized to each of them telling them I had a lot on my mind, which I did.

I left the weight room heading home and on the way, I did the dumbest thing I’d ever done in my entire fucking life.

I called Rori and broke it off with her.