Chapter 20
Empty
Radar
The pre-game nap was a waste of time. I tossed and turned in bed for two hours, but I couldn't sleep at all. I knew I was going to pay for it later on the ice, too …
All I could think about was the new look in Ella's eye. The way she looked at me had changed. Sounds crazy, right? But it really wasn't the same. There used to be something else in her eye when she looked at me. A bright, glittering spark. But now, when she looked at me, it was just … cold. Cold and unhappy and like I was a nobody.
And I knew it was my fault, but I couldn't grasp why. Where the hell did I go wrong? I liked Ella. That was the only reason I tried to kiss her. Was that a mistake? Yeah, okay, I guess. But wouldn't it be an even worse mistake if I'd slept with her?
For once, I actually liked a girl, and I tried to do the right thing—and that ended up making her even more mad at me.
I couldn't wrap my brain around it.
I knew that the worst thing I did was make her lie. But … what else was I supposed to do, when Lance was standing in my bedroom and Ella was naked, hiding underneath my bed? Tell him the truth? God, no! If I did that, I can basically guarantee a fist fight between me and Lance would've immediately erupted, followed by an unholy war between siblings.
I didn't get it. I didn't get why she was so mad at me. Logically, I knew she was right—that in the end, it wasn't a big deal. Because she was leaving town tomorrow, and yeah, I'd probably never see her again. But that didn't make it any easier to stomach. And it also sucked to think about.
When 'nap time' was finally over and I didn't get a single wink, Lance knocked on my door.
“You ready to head out to the rink, bud?”
“Sure,” I grumbled.
“Get any sleep?”
“Nope.”
“You normally sleep like a rock …” Lance said, rubbing his chin.
“Yeah. Not today.”
“Huh. Weird.”
Our tradition before every home game was the same: we cleaned up, put on our suits, grabbed our bags and took the water taxi downtown then walked the rest of the way to the rink. The only difference in that routine today was that Ella would be joining us. When she emerged from the bathroom, in a breath-taking little black dress, I felt my heart drop into my stomach. She'd pinned her long hair on top of her head like a crown, opening her bright and round face to the world.
She's so gorgeous.
My heart thumped in my chest as she neared. I wondered if I could tell her how nice she looked without Lance getting suspicious—
But she walked right past me and went to her brother instead. “I'm ready! Are you?”
“Yep. Let's go.”
The boat ride across the harbor was tough. Lance and Ella were trading memories from their youth, joking, laughing, playfully reviving decades-old disagreements. It was good to see them getting along, but it was obvious that I was the outsider. If I tried to joke with them? Lance might chuckle, but Ella would just stare over the water, off into the distance, and wait for me to butt-out before she went back to talking to Lance only.
It was only a matter of time before I withdrew myself totally from their conversation, and watched them from afar.
I knew what she was doing: erasing me from her life. I was nothing but a bad mistake now, and this was how she was moving on: forgetting about me entirely. She'd meant what she said earlier, when she swore I wouldn't get another thing form her. Ella was a woman of her word, after all.
When we made it to the rink, Lance and I split paths with Ella. She headed off to the press box, where she'd watch the game, and we took the VIP elevator down to the rink-level.
“She seem strange to you?” Lance asked me as we stepped off the elevator and made our way to the dressing room.
I swallowed tensely. “Huh? I wouldn't know. I thought you guys were getting along just fine on the way over here, though.”
Lance punched my shoulder. “Thank you! That's exactly what I mean.”
The two of us stepped into the dressing room, and our teammates greeted us with hoots and hollers.
“Dinner's on me tonight, boys,” Lance offered with a wink. “My little sister's in attendance tonight. Let's treat her to a win.”