T he rest of her night was shot. Studying was out of the question. She’d stayed hidden among the books for several minutes before she could show her face among the other students. She’d felt their eyes and their judgment on her. Each one condemned her for letting him touch her. Or maybe it had all been in her mind, but she hot tailed it out of there faster than a speeding bullet.

Nothing she did could stop her mind and her body from wanting more. The chatter in the dorms and from the patrons at the pub where she worked all centered around hockey. Everything reminded her of Benny. She mostly found the overzealous sports fans to be hilarious, except when they talked about the new goalie.

She’d needed someone to talk to about everything, but her only ally was a hockey hater. Carly loved Theo, but thought the rest of the men on the team were animals. Getting advice from her was useless. She’d gone to bed with her stomach in knots.

When the morning arrived, she was no closer to knowing how to handle Benny. Not that anyone handled him. He was a force to be reckoned with on and off the ice. Still she wasn’t ready to face him again. She didn’t have any early classes, but she couldn’t sleep. Her phone chirped on her dresser, signaling a new text message. Checking her phone, the text came from Cameron Smith. He was one of Joe and Theo’s best friends. He also happened to be a single dad who loved early morning runs.

“Run?”

That sounded like the perfect distraction. “When & where?” She typed back.

“King’s park in thirty.”

His reply made her smile. If she skipped breakfast, she could make it.

“See you soon.”

Beth hurried to the bathroom to brush her teeth and do her business. She tied her hair in a messy bun, covered her head with a warm beanie and pulled the hair through the top. After dressing in her winter running gear she raced out the door to meet her friend. She only thought of Benny twice.

“It’s not right for you to look so hot in workout clothes,” Cam said when she jogged up to greet him.

“I do not. There’s nothing sexy about this outfit.” She assessed her choice and came up blank.

He smiled, flashing his adorable dimples. “Tight pants. Need I say more?”

“Shut up and let’s do this.”

They ran for a mile in silence; it was nice to have a running partner. They’d met up once a week for the past few months. It started out as a competition, but they had a similar speed. The hockey training wasn’t the same as training for a marathon, and Cam wanted to run his first full this year. Beth had run it twice. Since he got full custody of his daughter April, finding time to train had become limited.

“Who’s watching your girl?” Her words were choppy.

“My mom’s staying with us this week. She surprised us with a visit which means I can go to that fundraiser tonight,” he said, his words smooth and even. The man hadn’t even broken a sweat yet.

“What event?” She wiped the moisture from her brow and adjusted her beanie to cover more of her forehead.

“It’s for one of the charities we support. We had to buy the plates months ago and they sold out which rocks. This one is helping kids with disabilities get the equipment they need to live productive lives. Last year we raised close to three hundred thousand. That’s a lot of wheelchairs and techno-gadgets. I didn’t think I’d make it. With a trusted babysitter at home, I won’t have to miss it.”

It made her happy to see these men volunteering their rare evenings off to help good causes. Hockey mattered, but so did their communities. “This is the first I’ve heard of it. Sounds like a good cause.” She exhaled and evened out her breathing.

He slowed their pace. “I’m glad you think so. If you don’t have plans tonight, would you go with me? Please say yes. Just as friends. I know its short notice, but it will be fun.”

“It’s probably not a good idea,” she said picking up speed. “You’ll never finish at this pace.”

He laughed. “I was keeping it slow for you. Seriously, you have to come. It’s being catered by one of the top chef’s in the city.” He batted his baby blues, drawing a smile from her.

The last thing she wanted was to bump into her ex again. She wasn’t ready to face him. “You say they sold out a while ago.”

“Yeah, why?”

“No reason.” As long as Benny wouldn’t be there, she was happy to accompany Cam. “Fine; I’ll go with you, but I can’t stay late. I’ve been neglecting my school work, and it has to be my top priority. If you don’t mind having a date that turns into a pumpkin at ten, I’d be happy to go.”

“Ten is later than I planned. April has gotten into a bad habit of waking up around nine thirty and she puts up a huge fit if I’m not there. We’ll most likely dine and dash.”

“You had me at free food, buddy.”

They laughed and finished running thirteen miles in less than an hour and forty-five minutes. They had their work cut out if they wanted to finish the full in less than four hours. Beth had pushed herself and finished her first in less than five hours. Her second she’d shaved an additional thirty-two minutes off the clock. Her goals were lofty, but attainable.

The rest of her day went by much better thanks to Cam. He gave her something else to focus on other than her misplaced feelings for Benny. She dove headfirst into her studies and rewrote all her jumbled notes. By the time dinner rolled around she was ready and starving.

Mr. Smith looked cuter than cute in his designer suit and funny dad tie. His sense of humor made him a great running partner and a hoot to be around. They were the same age, but he seemed a century older for some reason. They linked arms and walked into the restaurant together.

The scent of mouthwatering delights danced through the air. The chef and restaurant were donating their time and food. She had no idea how expensive each plate must have been. But gaging by the company they weren’t cheap. The mayor, musicians, actors and several other famous sports stars were in attendance. One man in particular stood out among the crowd. Their eyes locked, and she had to do a double take. She almost swallowed her tongue. He looked magnificent.

She smiled. The scowl on his face gave her the impression he was the opposite of happy to see her. He cut through the crowd, never taking his eyes off her. His long legs ate up the space between them.

“Did you know Benny Wilder would be here?”

“There’s a lot of people here. A few of my teammates were supposed to come, but not too many stuck around town for our days off. It’s back to business as usual tomorrow,” he answered.

“Oh, okay. I thought you said it was sold out.” She flipped her hair over her shoulder as Benny approached. “Hi,” she said, trying not to blush, even though the last time she saw him he’d had his hand down her pants.

“Did you come here together?” His first question caught her off guard.

“Yeah, Beth is my date this evening,” Cam said proudly.

“Unbelievable. First Joe and now Cam,” he mumbled under his breath.

She didn’t intend to make Benny jealous, but to hang out with a friend. Obviously, he didn’t have friends. “Who did you come with?”

“Martin gave me his ticket, saying it would be a good chance for me to mingle and meet people. Never expected you’d be here.” He eyed her and then Cam. “Are you making your rounds through the team?” He clenched his teeth, flexing his jaw.

Cam missed the shade Benny had thrown her way, but she didn’t. “That was smart of Martin. It’s good you’re here,” he said, looking around the room.

“I’ll be right back. Benny, follow me. Right now!” Her tone was sharp, surprising her date.

She let go of Cam’s arm and marched towards the back of the restaurant. She found an open office. He followed her in, and she slammed the door behind them.

“You self-righteous, arrogant prick. How dare you call me a slut when you’ve probably fucked half the country since we broke up?” Blood pumped through her veins at breakneck speed, whooshing in her ears.

He gripped her hand, preventing the slap she was about to deliver. “Zero. I haven’t been with a soul since you. Don’t you get it? You’re the only woman I want. I’ll be damned if I let another asshole touch you.” Tucking her arm behind her back, he pulled their bodies flush together.

There’s no way he’d abstained. Benny had never been a liar, but she couldn’t trust him anymore. “Bullshit!”

“I will prove I’m not the same coward I was a few years ago.”

Their lips collided. It took her by surprise, but she responded. Their tongues dueled, and it blew her away. He made her feel more alive than she had in ages.

One minute she hated him and was screaming, and then next they were twisting tongues and panting. She was so confused, but her body wasn’t. She needed more. Using her free hand, she gripped his ass. His erection pressed against her stomach. Clothing got in the way.

She wanted him. Only he wanted more than she could give. He told her he wanted everything, including her heart. He wanted them to try again; to be in love again. That would never happen. She couldn’t trust him. She pulled away.

“That’s just it. You were the strongest person I knew; besides, my dad. Then you both left me. There’s nothing you can do to change the past. You weren’t there when I needed—”

“Fuck!” He pressed his forehead against hers. “I know I screwed up. Losing your dad, wasn’t something I handled well, and you felt the brunt of it. I made the biggest mistake by shutting you out. By the time I came to my senses you had packed up and left. It took me months to track you down here. Why Winnipeg? It’s so bloody cold here.”

She laughed. As soon as anyone discovered she wasn’t born in Winnipeg, they always asked why. It was a great city. “Why did you move here?”

“To be with you again and to win another Cup,” he answered as if it were obvious.

Beth rolled her eyes. “You had no idea I was here, so don’t lie to me. Your life revolves around hockey and it was a good career move. I moved here to get away from you and the memories. The University of Manitoba accepted my late application.”

He brought her hands together in front of them and stared into her eyes. “I’ve known you were here for the past year. That’s why I kept my contract the way I did. When the chance to come here opened, my people made it happen. It’s not a coincidence.”

Her heart skipped a beat. “You… how did you know where I was?”

“I hired a private investigator to track you down. But there was no point trying to get you back until we could give it a shot. Long distance wouldn’t cut it. We had to be in the same city. I needed us to be face to face when I begged you to forgive me.” He gave her a moment to process his words.

It was a lot to digest. She couldn’t speak. For weeks she’d dreamed he would come to his senses and come back to her. It never happened. She found a way to pick up the pieces of her life. Now here he was saying all the right things.

“Give us another chance. I’m so fucking sorry I hurt you, and I promise I’ll never hurt you again.” He crossed his heart with his finger.

“Even as you tell me as this, I’m torn between elation and revulsion. Damn, Benny. You knew I was here and you stayed away. That’s so fucked up.” Her eyes brimmed with tears. “How can I trust you again?” She’d loved this man so completely once, but she was afraid to let that happen again.

Benny smiled. “You’re the one becoming a psychiatrist. Tell me what to do and consider it done.”

“I’ve only taken intro classes. I have no idea how to fix what you broke.” She straightened her posture and blinked the tears away. “Trust takes time to build. We can’t repair the damage with one conversation or one kiss.” She traced her swollen lips.

“I don’t expect it to happen overnight, but go out with me. One date and if you don’t have fun, I’ll back off.”

She doubted he’d ever quit. Benny wasn’t wired that way. If he wanted her back, he’d have to work for it. She had no intention of making life easy for him. “You make it sound easy, but what you want might not be possible. Not everyone gets a second chance.”

“We can be happy again. Give it a shot. That’s all I’m asking for.”

“I’m not saying yes. Let me do some research and think about it.” She reached up on the tip of her toes and brushed her lips against his. The feather light kiss sent a renewed surge through her, but she refused to act on it. Not tonight and maybe never again.

“I’m intrigued.” He leaned against the wall.

Beth wiped the lipstick off his lips. “I’m going back to my date, with my friend Cam. Tonight, isn’t about us, so keep your distance. Give me time. I’ll be in touch.” She walked towards the door and looked back with a tentative smile.

He pushed off the wall and stalked towards her. “Does that mean I can’t interrupt your date and sit with you? I’d rather spend my night with you than anyone here.” His fingers caressed the edge of her lip.

Goosebumps erupted across her arms. “You’re here to mingle, and I’m here to hang out with my friend. Don’t push your luck. So, like I said, I’ll be in touch.” Beth removed his hand and opened the door. Glancing over her shoulder wasn’t an option. She didn’t want to give him the impression she cared, so she hurried back to Cam’s table.

Benny respected her wishes and stayed away for the rest of the dinner. That didn’t stop her from sneaking peeks at him every other minute. She was still drawn to him and each kiss revved her engines. The sexual chemistry hadn’t changed, but everything else had. Trust was an integral part of any relationship, and she wasn’t sure they could rebuild that.

Watching his more admirable qualities shine as he worked the room, made her smile. The way he treated everyone as equals regardless of their status or background. He spent more time talking with the kids than adults. Reminding her that despite the way they ended their relationship, he was a good man at heart. He was worth the effort. If she gave him a chance, she prayed he wouldn’t make a fool of her twice.

“Can’t take your eyes off him, heh?” Cam nudged her shoulder.

She snapped her attention back to her date. “Sorry. I’m trying to decide if he’s a good guy or not. We used to date, and he wants us to try again.”

There was no point in not putting it out there. Cameron might offer a different perspective or insight. As long as he didn’t tell her she was nuts, she’d be happy.

“I gathered as much when you two disappeared for a while. Does he make you happy?”

The question loomed, causing uncertainty. “I don’t know. He used to. I’m attracted to him, but he hurt me. A lot. It’s not something I can let go of easily.”

Cam’s expression turned pensive, as if he carried his own pain. “It might not be about letting it go, so much as finding your way past it. April’s mom and I… it’s a long story for another time. I won’t bore you with the details, but I’ve learned to trust my gut. What’s yours telling you?”

“My gut? It’s telling me to finish the tiramisu.” She picked up her fork and took a bite. It was a ploy to buy time, and they both knew it.

“You’re a smart ass. Anyone ever tell you that?” He used his own fork to steal the last bite from her plate.

Her dad used to call her that all the time. Her chest ached. “You’re not the first. Are you ready to go?”

He smiled, and those dimples made a reappearance. Cam had the boy next door look down. “I am. Thanks for coming with me. I wasn’t in the mood to schmooze. When you’re not staring at other dudes, you’re not a bad date.”

A blush coated her cheeks, and the heat traveled down her neck. “Let’s get out of here.” She stood up and took his offered arm.

Once she arrived home, she unblocked Benny’s number and sent him a text. She wrote from the heart.

“It was good to see you.”

As soon as it showed delivered, she shut off her phone. She pulled out her laptop and typed trust exercises in the search bar. If there was a way to rebuild a broken relationship, she hoped she’d find it.