Denise

“You waited.”

“Of course. You ready to go get some breakfast?”

“It’s the middle of the night Ethan and now there isn’t going to be a place to get any breakfast in the morning. I can’t believe this happened.”

I couldn’t believe that he was still here. I was embarrassed to no end, but I had to stay and face all of those people. This is where I lived, so I wasn’t going anywhere and I wanted to make sure that whoever did this to Molly’s place paid for it. She didn’t deserve it, especially if it had anything to do with outsiders coming in. I was far more sympathetic to them then she was and it didn’t make sense to me. We were careful to keep the politics off the menu. I certainly didn’t make any comments, but it was bound to come up, daily.

“I’m sorry Denise. Let me make you something or at least get you a cup of coffee. You look like you need something.”

“I do, but I think I need something a little stronger than coffee after the night I’ve had.”

“It wasn’t all that bad, was it Denise?”

He had this look of desire on his face that before sent me over the moon, but now I was worried that he was going to pull me in again. I was never so embarrassed in all of my life and now the rumors were going to be different. Now there would be talk about how loose I was and I was sleeping with the enemy. None of it was going to work out well in the end. This much I knew because I knew my luck. I can’t look at him like that when he wants more.

“No, it’s wasn’t bad at all Ethan, but after tonight I don’t think we should be seen with each other for a while. People are going to have a lot to say and I don’t think that we should stoke the fire any more than we already had.

“What does it matter what they think Denise?”

“Well seeing as my place of employment was burned down because she let you guys come in and eat, imagine what kind of flack I am going to get getting caught naked in a shower with you? It’s not going to end well and I don’t think that we should make it a bigger point then it already is. People here in Nome are funny about outsiders and anyone that takes up with one.”

I hated to say the very words that were coming out of my mouth, but from where he was from, I couldn’t see it being much different up there.

“I’m from Alaska.”

He sounded incredulous and if anyone wasn’t from here, it would have been hard to understand. “Yeah, but you’re not from Nome.”

“So that’s it?”

Ethan seemed upset and I tried to explain it better, but I just failed over and over again when I tried. There was no way to make it all better. I could try of course, but there was nothing that I could do. We had to chill out for a while after getting caught. I had lived here for a long time and I wasn’t ready to make enemies out of the very people that I served every day. I still didn’t know what I was going to do without a job and having Ethan around was just one more thing that I would have to deal with and I didn’t want to. I wanted this all to go away and for life to get back to what it was before. Before at least I could handle it.

“Sorry Ethan. You aren’t staying long anyways so there wasn’t much more that it could be.”

“You don’t know that Denise. We have something good going here.”

I felt the same way and I wanted to tell him that he made me feel better than I had in years, but I was trying hard not to say such things. It was only going to make it harder and it was already considerably hard if I had to think about it.

“It was always just temporary Ethan. That’s why it was so exciting.”

Ethan looked like he wanted to say something and argue with me, but he finally just walked away and I could tell that he was mad. He had been waiting for me for quite some time and now he was leaving. I had really made him mad and I think at the same time I’d hurt him, but the latter was something that Ethan would never admit to.

I had seen the look in his eyes. He was not happy about how everything had turned out and if I was honest with myself, neither was I. I didn’t like the idea of never seeing him again, but he was going to be gone soon anyways. It didn’t matter how badly I’d wanted him to stay, it wasn’t something that was going to work out.

I kept telling myself that as I went back inside and found the house big and lonely when I got back in. I could still smell Ethan in here, his cologne wafting through the whole house. This was my punishment. I was sure of it.

Happiness doesn’t seem to last very long when it comes to men and my love life. I was doing myself a favor and making it easier for when he left. If I wasn’t too attached, I couldn’t get hurt.