Chapter Fourteen
I don’t know how long we lie there trying to catch our breath and regain our composure. I don’t even remember him pulling out or cradling me in his arms. What I do remember is the act I just let my so-called captor perform on me. The worst guilt I have experienced since this fucked up man entered my life hits me.
I brought this upon myself. I deserve to carry it and have it weigh me down for the rest of my miserable life. I deserve it. I welcome it, and I crave the guilt. Rolling over onto my back, one silent tear rolls down my cheek. How pathetic is that? Just one tear. Am I all cried out? Who the fuck knows anymore? One thing I do know is I will never be the same person I was before.
When my mind clears, I hear the shower running. Suddenly it turns off and I hear the squeak of the shower door opening. I listen to the noises of Trent moving around in the bathroom as he opens and closes a few drawers and then starts up an electric razor.
I pull the comforter over my hand to try and drown out the sound of him using my husband’s personal things. He is wearing Turner’s clothes, using his toothbrush. It’s sickening and maddening all at the same time. I just want to curl up in a tight ball and cry and scream and lash out thinking about every aspect of this.
Once the razor shuts off and he is silent for a few moments, I pull the comforter back down and close my eyes, pretending to still be asleep. I hear the door open when he enters the bedroom. He rustles around in the closet for a bit and then I hear him at Turner’s dresser opening a drawer and then closing it again.
The end of the bed dips as he sits and that is when I open my eyes and stare at the back of his head, watching him put on socks and shoes. Visions of me crawling up behind him and stabbing him right in his fucking back have me smirking.
God, I have never thought about killing anyone before in my life! Yet I welcome the thought of actually doing it more and more these days as my face twists into its now perpetual scowl. Yeah, if looks could really kill he would be so dead right now.
“Have a great day,” my chirpy voice startles him.
“Shit, babe! You scared me. Sorry if I woke you.”
He stands and comes around to my side of the bed.
“Oh, I need to get up anyway and get ready to go see your mom.”
His jaw tightens and his lips twitch slightly as I study his reaction. He regains his composure as he bends down and kisses me on top of my head. He’s singing a different tune than he was a few hours ago when he had his dick up my . . . God!
“Don’t forget to tell her I said I will give her a call very soon.” He grins and steps away.
“I’ll make a pot of coffee and grab a bagel or something and leave you to your day then.”
“See you for dinner then,” I holler after him as he walks out the bedroom door.
Damn, I hope today I get the answers I need to lead me closer to finding Turner so I don’t have to sleep another night in the same bed as this man.
I wait about fifteen minutes or so to make sure he is gone and then I hurl myself out of bed and rush into the bathroom. I take the quickest shower known to mankind, paying extra attention to my backside.
I feel sick to my stomach for enjoying myself. I need to keep reminding myself that it wasn’t me who allowed him to do what we did. It wasn’t me.
I am pretending to be someone I am not, just like he is. If I don’t keep telling myself that over and over again, I am not going to survive this and I will never find Turner, ever.
Picking up my towel and haphazardly drying off, I rush around the bedroom. I am going for comfort today, putting on a pair of denim capris and a pale yellow tank top.
I stand in front of the mirror and braid my long hair off to the side. I waste no time brushing my teeth and applying minimal makeup. Finally, I slip into my black flip-flops and race downstairs to the kitchen.
I dump the remaining coffee out of the pot, afraid to even drink it. It could be poisoned for all I know. After seeing the picture of Turner and what this man has done to his own brother, who knows what the hell he would do to me? The man has no conscience at all and there is no way I trust him.
I shoot a quick text off to Melody letting her know I am on my way, then I grab my purse. I am out the door and on the road within thirty minutes of climbing out of bed. Setting my phone to hands-free, I hit my brother’s number and he answers right away.
“Thank Christ you’re all right. I have been worried out of my fucking mind all damn night.”
I hear a hint of uneasiness in his tone. My nerves suddenly jump all over the place.
“What? Why?”
“My sister is living with a damn criminal, that’s why. Shit! If he had any hand in what happened to his brother, what makes us think he wouldn’t do the same thing to you, or worse? It’s time you get out of there and come and stay with us.”
“Are you serious, Zack? I am not leaving there. What if they kill him? Neither one of us would be able to forgive ourselves.”
I can’t even wrap my mind around the fact my husband could die over this. Dread so deep fills my mind and my body that I start to cry.
“Listen to me. They want something and they are not going to kill him until they get it. Now I am not taking no for an answer. You are coming here and I fucking mean it. Do not go back to your house. You’re my sister and I need you to be safe while we investigate this. I should have never let you go back with him in the first place, even though I have Martinez following you.”
His voice sounds a little calmer at the mention of his partner’s name. I look in my rear view mirror and yup, there is Martinez in his black SUV following a few cars behind me. My tears continue to fall and I let them, not giving a shit what I look like anymore.
I drive in silence as I listen to my brother’s instructions. As soon as I am done talking to Melody, I am supposed to go straight to his house. Anxiety and panic set in and I start to shake. Can I do it? Can I live with myself knowing I could be risking my husband’s life?
“Fine. Zack. I will be there, but I do have to stop at the house. I have absolutely nothing with me. Besides, Trent is at the office all day and like you said, Martinez is following me. I will run in and grab what I need and be back out within fifteen minutes,” I promise, the tone of my voice letting him know I am not negotiating this with him.
“You’d better be here by noon, or so help me God I will come and get you myself,” he demands.
“All right, all right.”
“And stop crying, sis. You’re going to get the answers we need from Melody, I just know you are, and it’s going to put us even closer to finding out where Turner is.”
I take a deep breath and listen to my brother try to calm me as I pull into Melody’s drive. Martinez parks across the street.
Climbing out of my car and nodding in his direction, I move with purpose. Fuck me if I don’t look up and Melody is standing on the front porch looking worse than I know I do.
Melody has betrayed both Turner and myself and as I transfix my gaze on her, she recoils as if I have just bitch slapped her . . . which is exactly what I will do if she doesn’t give me one hell of a damn good reason as to why she has never told her son the truth all these years.
I continue to stay distant and cold as ice as I approach her.
“Good morning.”
Her voice is unsteady and unsure.
“No. I wouldn’t call it a good morning at all, Melody. Would you?”
I glare murderously.
“No, I guess it’s not. And most likely never will be again, by the look on your face.”
I say nothing as I pass her by and open the door to her house. She follows right behind me, and when I enter the foyer of her home my throat instantly goes dry when I see all the familiar pictures on the wall and fireplace mantle of Turner and myself. My eyes land on one of them and at lightning speed my legs have me standing in front of it.
“That photo has always been my favorite of the two of you.”
“Yes. Mine too.”
I feel her stand close behind me. I continue my survey and precious memories flood my mind of the day this picture was taken. Turner and I were so young and carefree then. It was taken by his mother about three months after we started dating.
We didn’t even know she had taken it. Turner is sitting on a swing in the park as I sit on his lap with my legs straddling him. We are front to front as my legs hang loosely behind his back. His big, strong hands are cradling my face and our foreheads are touching. I loved him then and I love him now more than I ever thought possible.
“I know I have a lot of explaining to do. Most likely neither you nor my son will ever forgive me for keeping all of this from you, but please listen to everything I have to say.”
I know Melody well, at least I thought I did, and she sounds sincere. I set the photo back down on top of the mantle and without even acknowledging her, I turn and take the few steps over to the loveseat in the corner of her spacious living room.
“I’ll listen,” I say as I sit down.
“Would you like something to drink?” she asks.
“No. What I want is for you to talk and tell me the truth so I can find my husband.”
My voice is cold and full of hate. I don’t give a shit anymore.
“You act as if I don’t care about Turner’s wellbeing at all. He’s my son, for God’s sake.”
“I know you love your son, Melody, and so do I. You’re hiding something, damn it, and if it’s something that can help us find him then don’t you think you should speak up? I just don’t under-”
She cuts me off by holding up her hand as if to silence me.
“You what? You don’t understand? No one will ever understand the hell I have been through for twenty-six years. They’re my children. Trust me when I say I know where my loyalties lie, but if you think this is easy for me, well then you really don’t know me at all.”
I swallow back my pride and sit there waiting as she takes a seat across from me in a dark green wingback chair. She exhales loudly as she lifts her head to meet my gaze.
“I knew the day that James took Trent I would most likely never see my son again.”
Tears well up in her eyes and she looks away from me.
“He was so abusive. I thanked God every day that my sons were too young to remember some of the horrible things their father did. And I will never forgive myself for the way he treated Turner.”
“Zack told me all about it, but I am not here to listen to you tell me how you have suffered and will never forgive yourself. That is your guilt to bear, not mine. I need you to tell me why you never told your son the truth about having a brother- an identical twin at that. How could you keep something like that from him?”
Venom is spewing from my mouth at this point. I don’t give a shit about the damage I may cause with my words.
“You sit over there and judge me all you want to, but you have no idea what kind of man James is and the things he could do and would do.”
“Are you hearing yourself right now, Melody? Everything you have said to me so far is a bunch of shit.”
Melody straightens her posture and looks me dead in the eye.
“He threatened to kill Turner,” she says, her voice just a hint above a whisper.
“He what?”
“I reported my son missing the minute I knew he was gone. For months and months they searched for both of them. It was as if they just vanished. Trent was too young to go to school, so there were no school records. I have no clue how they survived or what they did. There was nothing, absolutely nothing anywhere. After about six months or so I received a late night visitor just as I climbed into bed.”
Her eyes show the worst kind of pain I have ever seen and her body language suddenly goes stiff with what I assume are unpleasant memories entering her mind. I am a being a bitch and I know this, so I keep quiet to give her the time and space she needs.
“James was in my bed, waiting for me. I was dead tired that night from working and then coming home to a crying toddler. Turner cried for his brother for almost a year. My heart broke every time. What do you say to a little boy when you know his brother is never coming back?”
We stare at each other in silence and my heart cracks right down the middle, thinking of what Turner had to go through at such a young age.
“James put his hand over my mouth and told me he would kill Turner if I said even one word to him. I had never feared for anything in my life like I did that night. He hated Turner. His own flesh and blood.”
I can’t hold back the tears anymore so I just let them fall as I listen to her pained voice.
“H-he said Trent was dead.”
I don’t blink or turn my head away as I process what she just said.
“So you see? I never once gave up, because for all these years I thought my son was dead; dead at the hands of his own father. There was no way in hell I was going to tell Turner anything. As he grew up I was always afraid he would ask about Trent, but he never did. Not one time did he ask about his brother or his father. At the time I was grateful he forgot about them, but maybe he never did. I don’t know. Maybe as he grew to understand things he didn’t want to hurt me by asking. And now . . .”
She looks down at her hands, which are resting on her lap as she clasps them even tighter.
“Now I have a son who I love more than life itself, and another son who for all these years I have thought was dead and he’s not. So yes, I am living through hell right now, and yes, I deserve to be there. I have to live the rest of my life with guilt and shame because I believed that animal, and now it appears that Trent is exactly like him. And . . .”
“And what?”
I know why he’s here. I know exactly what they want from Turner.”
Her voice is very soft as she continues.
“Turner is about to become a very rich man.”
Her voice cracks and is filled with agony. I lean forward in my seat, stunned.
“What did you just say?”
Her body stiffens and she stands up and starts pacing the floor.
“He will inherit twenty million dollars when he turns thirty.”
My mouth drops open and I feel like I have just been kicked in the teeth by this sudden revelation.
“How? Why? I don’t understand. Does Turner even know about this?”
“No. He doesn’t know about this. He does know that my parents are very wealthy, but you know how Turner is. Money isn’t important to him in the sense that he has to have millions of dollars to survive.”
All I can do is shake my head in disbelief as Melody continues on.
“I planned on telling him soon to prepare both of you for when the time came. Now I may never see my son again, all because they want that money. James knew those boys would be set for the rest of their lives. All these years he must have been keeping tabs on us, my parents included. And now that both of them are gone and those boys are about to turn thirty, what better way to get your hands on millions of dollars than to switch one twin for the other?”
“Hold on. Why didn’t you just tell Zack all of this in the first place? Do you know where they are? Where might James have taken Turner?”
I know I sound bitter and angry, and a part of me believes I have a right to. She knew. All along she knew and she never said a word. And yet the part of me who loves and cherishes this woman is here berating her when all these years she has thought one of her children was dead and she has carried this burden alone. I just cannot wrap my head around how she must be feeling. For the past few days I have been living in fear of what could happen to Turner since he’s been taken, but my mother-in-law has been living with the same fear for over twenty years.
I lift myself up and extend my arms out to her. Neither one of us needs words right now; we need each other.
She doesn’t hesitate as she gets up and throws herself right into my arms. Her shoulders sag in defeat and we cry. We both cry, soaking both of our shirts with tears. She sobs and shakes uncontrollably.
“I don’t know what to do,” she wails, pulling herself away from me but gripping onto my shoulders as if I am her lifeline. “I wasn’t thinking clearly when I came to your house the other day. All I could think about was seeing my son. This is such a dreadful and unforgivable thing for me to say, but I just can’t think of that man who is pretending to be Turner as my son . . . not in the way the real Turner is. Even so, dear God, I’m still his mother! I will never be able to forgive myself for thinking that way.”
I can only stand there staring at the pain and regret in her bloodshot eyes.
“I- I don’t know what to say to that, Melody.”
“There is nothing to say. Now listen to me,” she says, her attitude suddenly changing. “I have no idea where James is. I do know he is a very dangerous man and if he raised Trent to be anything like himself, then he is just as dangerous. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if anything happened to you. You need to leave that house, now.”
Her grip on my upper arms becomes a little firmer.
“I know,” I say meekly. “I talked to Zack on the way over here. I am going to stop by the house and grab a few things, then go to his house.” Suddenly, I become aware that once Trent finds out I am gone, there is no telling what he will do. “You know what? You shouldn’t be staying here by yourself, either. You’re coming with me.”
“Oh, no. I couldn’t possibly co-”
“Bullshit. Go pack a bag, right now.”
“You can hold baby Nolan,” I tease, and try to smile. She seems to be thinking for a moment as her eyes dart all over the room.
“You’re right,” she sighs. “If you’re sure they won’t mind, then yes, I believe it’s wise for me to stay there, too. I just have to get a few things in order.”
I shoo her with my hand.
“You’re family and Zack would kick my ass knowing I left you here once I tell him everything. Speaking of which, I should call him right now.”
She removes her hand and I spin around and grab my purse and retrieve my phone.
“Clove?”
“Yeah?”
I love you so much, young lady.”
And I know she does. I will always feel guilty for ever doubting her love for me or for Turner.