Chapter Sixteen
The day passed by with her half expecting to see Cage return. Though tempted to crawl back into bed and sleep, she needed to get her thoughts organized. Tired or not, she carried her laptop and phone downstairs. She’d promised Cage she’d take care of herself. Maybe she should have asked him about the cold medicine and whether there was any point. Instead, she heated up panned lasagna in the oven and poured herself another whiskey and coffee.
Wine might be appropriate, but the coffee would help her stay alert even as the whiskey took the edge off. The earlier two cups had done wonders for her disposition. She had to turn off the alarm before she escaped to her deck. More and more, it had become her favorite part of the house.
Was it because she was becoming a wolf? Everything outside captured her attention. The grass in her yard was too tall. There were dandelions stirred by the breeze and releasing their fluff. The squirrels were back, chirping away at each other as they raced from tree to fence to the next tree.
The scent of the lasagna carried out onto the deck. It would be ready soon, and she held her phone in her hand. A part of her knew she had to call Peter and Tera. She had to let them know she wouldn’t be available for Rangoon. It didn’t matter what they told her, she had to be in charge of herself. To be in charge of something. She might not be available for much more than phone and computer support for a while.
That was nonnegotiable. No matter what happened, her work was important. She couldn’t abandon those in disaster zones. Too often they were left to fend for themselves with very little support; she wouldn’t take away what was left for her to contribute.
Pain sliced at her heart, and her stomach ached. She didn’t want to have to walk away. Images of helpless faces danced across her mind’s eye. The relief of a grandmother reunited with her grandchildren, the heartsick wails of a husband holding the body of his wife, the devastation in a little boy’s eyes, his face covered in soot and smoke. Everything he had, everyone he knew—gone.
Get a grip. She drained the coffee, then set the mug down on the table. The last thing she needed to do was panic. It was just like when she walked into her first disaster. Chaos swirled around her. Everyone raced around the scene, she couldn’t tell who was who or what they were doing or where she should be.
Someone—God she couldn’t even recall who it was now, only they’d been dressed in the same relief agency jacket she’d worn—had paused long enough to say, “Don’t look at the big picture, not right now. Find a job, do it. Then find the next job, do that.”
The advice freed her from paralyzing sense of being overwhelmed, and she’d gotten to work.
It was what she needed to do now.
If she was going to turn into a wolf, there were things she needed to know. Cage had given her a glimpse of some of it, but he hadn’t explained the actual process. Of course, I didn’t let him stay long enough to do that.
A list.
She needed to make a list.
The possession of a task galvanized her, and she opened a notepad on her phone.
What I Need to Know
How do I turn?
That seemed pretty broad. The turn would probably involve actually shifting into a wolf. Cage had shown her that when he transformed in front of her. No matter how beautiful his animal was, nerves struck her.
Will it hurt?
She might know the answer to that, but better to figure it out now.
3. How hard will it be to turn back?
4. How much will I remember when I’m a wolf?
5. Do I have to hunt?
Her stomach roiled on the last. She’d done plenty in the worst of conditions, things she’d never imagined doing in a million years—but hunting? No, she’d never been a fan.
6. Sex?
She left it at one word because anything else seemed to verge on bestiality, then a giggle struck her. Gallows humor had saved her over the years, and this was no exception. Hadn’t she already sex with a wolf? Lots and lots of sex? Only he’d been in his human form.
And that means something. Cage had been very clear on that point. They were both—animal and human in one form. It was kind of elegant in its own way.
7. How do I control it?
The oven dinged after she typed in the last question. Still mulling over it, she went inside to get more food. Her appetite had returned in force. So maybe it was a good sign. After dinner, she curled up on the sofa and made herself put it all out of her mind. A movie and a glass of wine would preoccupy her and keep the thought that she’d eaten the entire pan of lasagna and the garlic bread she’d made all by herself at bay.
8. Do wolves get fat?
At some point she must have drifted off, because she woke to an infomercial. Having a television was a novelty for her. She was used to only having one of her devices to watch movies on, usually movies she loaded whenever she made it back to the States for a break. Those movies and books would have to hold her over.
Her skin was on fire when she woke, the heat almost unbearable. The noise from the television kept buzzing in her ears. Hitting off on the remote, she sat, head in her hands. Tempering the desire to take something for the fever, and trying to ride out whatever was consuming her, she sat and concentrated on breathing.
Standing, she staggered into the kitchen and got cold water, splashing it on her face. It helped some. Was the fever all a part of her turning? Was she going to feel like this forever? A part of her wanted to reach out to Cage, but she resisted the desire.
She’d leaned on him a lot over the last week. Every time he’d stepped up, like the hero he was, but he’d also been the hero who’d lied to her. A guy who’d followed her, purchased a house on the same block where she’d decided to rehab a house for her sabbatical, then he’d sought her out…
He came by because the front door was open.
Maybe logic shouldn’t have worked, but it quelled the rant. He’d come over to check on her because she’d left the door open. All he’d done was say hello…
And he led the Marines who saved Collin and me.
Marine wolves.
She tried to remember the faces of the others who’d been there, but she couldn’t. Not when she’d seen Cage, realized they were saved, then passed out. The next time she’d woken it had been on the ship. Surely the guys had been on her transport from ship to mainland. Yet, she didn’t recall them.
Of course, I don’t. I spent the whole trip—well, at least the part I was awake—staring at Cage. The man had captivated her from the beginning. Discovering him in Austin had simply allowed her to get to know him.
To care about him.
Returning to the living room, she picked up her phone. Instead of calling Cage, she called the one woman who’d always understood her. A woman who’d lived life on her terms and raised her daughter to do the same. The phone rang twice.
“Darling girl,” her mother said by way of greeting. “Your ears must be burning.”
They were, but probably better not to admit it. “Hi, Mom. I’m not catching you at a bad time, am I?” Doctors were always busy. There were always emergencies and patients needing their care.
“Not at all, sweetheart. Your father and I are being terrible physicians today. We’re sitting in a gorgeous hotel, eating room service, and drinking wine. We have two whole glorious days.”
“Indoor plumbing.” Her father raised his voice, laughter rippling between them. “Air conditioning, fancy soap.”
“Hush, Harry.” Her mother was still laughing. “Your father is delighted by the toilet paper, but then, you know how that goes.”
Yes, yes she did. Every few months, no matter where their work took them, her parents found a way to take a few days at some posh hotel. The idea had been they worked hard and sometimes they needed the recuperation time. She’d seen her first swimming pool in one of those places.
“It sounds like you’re having a good time.” Just hearing her mother’s voice settled her, grounded her. “I shouldn’t bother you.”
“Of course, you should bother us. If I wasn’t certain you weren’t in the middle of some crisis of your own, I’d insist you fly out and join us.” The invitation jolted her. How could her mother know something was wrong?
“Um…” They hadn’t been told about the kidnapping; in fact, she hadn’t called them at all. They’d been on an assignment. She meant to catch them up when she was in front of them rather than scare them.
“Did you lose her, June?” Her father’s voice was much closer to the phone.
“No, she’s trying to work out how I know what’s going on in her life.” Smug maternal knowledge warmed her tone.
“Your mother is magic, baby girl. You know that.” Harry laughed. “I’m going to go check out the facilities while you two catch up. Convince her to come see us.”
Mom chuckled, then sighed. “You know you’ve been together too long when your spouse tells you he wants to play in a bathroom.”
A giggle escaped. “That’s Dad.”
“Yes, it is. All right, catch me up. You’re calling me, and a little moody sounding, which means something is troubling you. Doctor Mom is in, what can I do?”
Tears made her vision swim. “I miss you, Mom.”
“We miss you, too, baby. I won’t try to cajole you into visiting, no matter what your father says. Though, if you do come, I’ll have someone to go get a pedicure with. My toes look like troll feet.” Warmth flooded Bianca. Her parents were crazy, devoted to their work and each other, but they always managed to include her.
“I’d love that, but I can’t get away just now.”
“Next time then,” her mother assured her.
“I promise,” she said, and no matter what came up. She would make it happen. “Actually, I called for an entirely different reason.”
“I figured.”
“I need your advice,” Bianca said, blowing out a breath and walking with the phone into her kitchen. It was—three in the morning. “I met someone.”
“Oh?” Keen interest sharpened in her mother’s voice. “Boy or girl?”
“Boy, Mom. Well, man.”
“Gotcha, trying to be all progressive here. So tell me about him? Will I like him?”
“You went from had I met a boy or a girl to will you like him?” She set the coffee pot to brew. “Kind of fast-tracking it, aren’t you?” The quipping belonged. It normalized the world for her, made it more reasonable.
“You’re calling me about someone you’ve met, and you’ve never done that. You’ve had boyfriends, you’ve had lovers, and you’ve had one-night stands—”
“I had one one-night stand, Mom. One.” And it had ended horribly. So this time she had a fling—and it wasn’t going much better.
“Yes, dear, I know. That’s my point. You’ve had relationships before, but you’ve never called me about one. So this guy must be special.”
Not precisely the word she wanted.
“Special enough that you’re calling me, so…will I like him?”
Her mother would adore Cage.
“Yes,” she admitted. “He’s pretty awesome.”
“That’s exactly what I wanted to hear.” Her mother seemed to be crowing. “Maybe when you come to visit us, you could bring him, too.”
That was her parents, already including her supposed new boyfriend. Anger zinged through her. Boyfriend. What an awkward word meant to encompass what Cage was to her. He was the guy who accidentally destroyed her life.
Accidental. He didn’t trip and fall over her. With one bite, he’d saved her life…and altered it irrevocably. How did she reconcile that?
“Maybe, but that’s kind of why I’m calling.” How did she ask what she wanted to know when she couldn’t tell her mother what had happened to her? Cage hadn’t strictly forbidden her. If she hadn’t told her parents about being kidnapped, she wasn’t sure how broaching the topic about becoming some kind of supernatural being would go down.
“I’m all ears.”
“How did you know?” She put the empty glass on the counter. “How did you know Dad was the one? That you would walk away from a successful and potentially lucrative medical practice in the States to follow him all over the world?”
“That’s easy, baby. I knew because I couldn’t imagine not seeing him. He was the first face I wanted to see when I woke up, the last face when I went to sleep. I didn’t care how tired or overworked I was, I always wanted to make time for him and he found ways to make time for me.” Wild affection and nostalgia twined in her voice. “He’s my other half. It sounds corny, but I didn’t even know what I was missing before I met him. Then I couldn’t imagine my life without him. He changed my world, then he gave it to me.”
“That sounds pretty magical.”
“Magical? Maybe. It was also work. I had a life plan; I had goals. I’d even lined up the perfect track to working ten-hour days and having a house in the suburbs. Now I live in tents half the year, in terrible, rundown huts, or leaky trailers. Sometimes we don’t have toilets or beds, but I’m with Dad, and we make the world a better place together.”
Bianca sighed. “You two are sickeningly romantic.”
“Maybe. Or maybe we like our lives together no matter where they take us. We still discuss retiring to Austin where your father will learn to golf and I’ll take wine luncheons at the club.”
The image was so far from what she could ever imagine for her mother, Bianca giggled.
She wanted what they had, though. She wanted the sense of belonging, of completing another person and being completed by them. Someone she could do the most mundane things with…like grocery shopping, buying home renovation materials, cook…
All things she’d done with Cage. “I think he’s changed my world, Mom.” Maybe not the way her mother meant it, but her life would change.
“Oh, that makes me positively giddy. Tell me about him,” her mother ordered. “I want all the details.”
Edited to protect the supernatural, Bianca said, “He’s a Marine.”
“Now that’s sexy…”
“You know what’s sexy?” her father called. “This bathroom is sexy. It has a bidet.”
Her parents. She wouldn’t trade them for anything. Pouring a cup of coffee, Bianca began to grin. She wouldn’t trade Cage, either. “And he makes me smile.”
…
Sitting in the hollow living room, Cage stared out the window toward Bianca’s house as he brooded. His wolf’s agreement to the promise lasted until they’d crossed the street. If not for his father sitting in the armchair, a beer in one hand and the television remote in the other, Cage would already be across the street.
He’d changed from his suit into a more comfortable pair of jeans and a button-down shirt. Chances were the items had been in his father’s Mercedes. Cage hadn’t moved from his position, nor eaten the food set next to him.
Even when his father rose and told him to get some sleep before he went upstairs, Cage remained where he was. His cell phone beside him. If Bianca needed him, he would be ready. More than once, he debated crossing the street and checking on her. Especially after the house went dark. The wolf wanted to be there for her, but the man waited.
Bianca said she needed time. He had to give it to her. Sleep would be too elusive, so he didn’t bother. Sitting vigil for hours was a familiar task. He’d trained for far more uncomfortable bolt holes than a furnished living room in suburban Austin.
He couldn’t believe how colossally he’d fucked up the whole situation. By the time his father descended the stairs, he’d abandoned the sofa for standing and staring.
“Well, at least you moved, hijo,” Reuben commented as he strode toward the kitchen. “Your mother said you will come to see her before you return to your team. The visit is nonnegotiable.”
Cage smiled slightly. If his father was the tempest, his mother was the shore. No one denied her when she made her will clear. Not even his father. “Sí, Papa.”
Maybe he could take Bianca to meet her. She would like Bianca. They were of a similar kind. Both strong. Both determined to live life on their own terms.
“You should have purchased an espresso machine.” His father returned, and this time he held a mug of coffee toward him. “This coffee is terrible.”
“I don’t like espresso, Papa.” He didn’t mind a latte now and again, but he preferred real coffee. “There’s a coffee place a couple of blocks away if you want to get some.”
Taking a position next to him, Reuben looked out the window toward Bianca’s as he sipped his drink. Cage took a swallow of his own simply because it was in his hand.
“Carlos, if you want to be over there with her. Go.” Absent any judgment, his father’s tone held a note of exasperation.
“She asked me for time,” he admitted. “I couldn’t tell her no. Not after everything else. I’ve—I’ve shredded her life.”
“I think you are overestimating your reach, Carlos.” There was the judgment.
“I don’t want to fight with you.” If his father needed to censure him, Cage would accept it. He’d broken tradition. Worse, he’d broken the laws.
“As mature a response as that may be, hijo. I am not asking for a fight, I am pointing out that you may have changed her life, and while it may be a difficult adjustment, she has the wherewithal to survive and to thrive.” Strangely, Reuben’s brusque tone was far more comforting than his words.
“You can’t know that for certain.” He couldn’t allow himself the luxury of hope, not when Bianca was across the street, alone. “She was sick earlier. Feverish.”
“Fairly normal.” The bland acceptance gave him pause.
“Normal?” Cage wheeled to look at his father. “She raged with fever, and she wasn’t altogether cognizant of her surroundings.”
“The body must change; change is often fought. Fevers are normal.” Reuben shook his head. “I will not criticize you for not understanding the full process of the turn before, but why haven’t you taken the time to learn since then?”
He would not fight with his father. Reciting that phrase three times helped curb his temper. “I called Abuela.”
Reuben chuckled, the sound so foreign Cage found himself at a loss.
“What?”
“You called Mama, and she was so worried about you, she called me.” Well, that explained his father’s presence. “I’d already noticed the issue with your account, and I’d planned to send James, but then Mama mentioned she’d had one of her—feelings—about you.”
As he faced his father, Cage found his exasperation mirrored in Reuben’s expression. “She didn’t.”
“Oh, she did.” Reuben shook his head again, then took another swallow of his coffee. “You forget, when Mama wants something, she will make it happen. Even if she has to nudge the people along to accomplish her goals.”
Cage believed him, having had plenty of experience with his grandmother’s premonitions, usually framed in vaguely specific terms to get her targets thinking about their particular issues. “I’m sorry. I called her because I wanted her advice, but I didn’t want to tell her what I’d done. I should have just called you the moment I realized what may have happened.”
“Agreed. You made a mistake, then you compounded it with an even greater one. I accept your explanation for what happened to Bianca. Keeping it a secret? From me? That was not your wisest move.” Then his father astounded him when he sighed. “After meeting her, however, I think I understand you better than I ever have. You wanted to protect and take care of her, and you were protecting her from me. I don’t have to like something to understand.”
Considering he’d already admitted his faults, he might as well confess them all. “I told my captain, and he made it possible for me to follow her. To make sure she was okay.” Which, she really wasn’t. Cage would fix it. Somehow, he would make this work for her. “My reasoning against telling you immediately was you may have to inform the other alphas. The captain did not want to notify the colonel. The balance and success of the team…my poor judgment could have affected it.”
“And again, hijo, lo siento. You are overestimating your reach.”
“Don’t preserve my ego, Papa. It’s not fragile.”
The bland look his father favored him with silenced his acerbic tongue. “Carlos, stop reacting like a pup with his first crush and think. The treaty, which created your team, protects the packs, but it does far more for the US government. They are very aware of the benefits of your involvement. All of your involvement. The accidental turning of a citizen is an unfortunate activity. Yet, it was an accident. At most, they may have asked to have you dismissed from the team. And unless you asked me to leave yourself, I would have denied the request. Posturing would have occurred, perhaps some threats, then conciliatory actions.” His father gave a sharp-toothed grin. “It would have been a fantastic debate and hunt.”
Cage stared at him, disbelief holding him captive.
“I would have enjoyed the effort.” Then with a heavy sigh, he shrugged. “You have kept the information from your military superiors, a very wise choice. Now you will continue to keep it from them. Bianca’s life will be her own, and we will continue to make sure the government doesn’t know we possess this capability.”
“You mean that.”
“Carlos, you are my son. Of course, I mean it. Bianca is now ours, too. We will protect her. She belongs to the pack.” The assurance eased some of the tension fisting in Cage’s gut.
“She isn’t entirely sure she wants to be pack.” He sighed. The crux of his discontent. A part of him had already accepted Bianca would always be tied to him, a packmate, a lover, maybe even his—
“What do you mean, she isn’t sure she wants to be pack?” Reuben studied him.
“Everything is new to her. Bianca is an aid worker, Papa. She just found out that not only may she turn into a wolf, but she will be tied to a pack, controlled by our laws and customs that she doesn’t know yet, and the work she loves so much she won’t be able to do it…”
“Well, not right away, but control can be taught. If she is as capable as you say she is, once she survives her first shift, we can teach her.”
Survives…? Cage went cold again. “What if she doesn’t survive?”
“It’s why I’m here, hijo. Turning is difficult, but it is better and easier for the one turned if an alpha is present to guide them, especially if their mate is not there or hasn’t claimed them.”
Mate?
His father sighed, then walked away from him. For a moment, Cage could have sworn he heard him muttering. If their mate wasn’t there? Would a mate make it easier for her?
His wolf scrabbled inside of him. They loathed the idea of another claiming Bianca. The very thought filled man and beast with a primal fury. She didn’t need a mate, she had Cage…
He stopped.
In the kitchen, Reuben said, “Finally.”
She had Cage. She would always have him. There was nothing he wouldn’t do for her. Bianca was afraid because she didn’t understand. More, she was afraid because she thought everything she’d known, everything she was, it was going to be taken away from her.
It didn’t have to be.
“Papa, I need to make some calls. Will you watch over her for me?”
“Of course.” Reuben smiled, then lifted his cup to take a sip. “Let me know if you need anything else.”
His wolf settled. Cage settled. Yes, his father knew everything. Fine. For once, Cage didn’t resent it. His father’s wisdom may have just saved him and Bianca both.
Dialing the captain’s number, Cage headed out to his truck. They were going to need supplies. “Jax,” he said when the captain answered. “I need the team in Austin…I have a mission.”