Three Years Later…

The sweat is running down my neck and back as I run after the toddler headed toward the lake. She’s faster than she should be at two years old. I only turned my back long enough to get the kid carrier pack off of my back and out of the way while Colby set up the picnic blanket. All the other adults are almost to the water so I don’t really have to worry, but when it comes to Jackie, my sweet active little girl, I don’t mess around. Her high-pitched squeal makes my hearing aids ring uncomfortably as I snatch her up and cuddle her close. “No, Daddy! Swim!” she yells as I spin her to face me and blow raspberries on her belly.

“You have to wait for Mommy and me to go in.”

“No! Unca Marsh take me!” She reaches toward where Marshall and Dana are in the water already with their one-year-old son, David.

“Uncle Marshall has his hands full with David.”

Marshall must hear our conversation because he yells back to me. “Vic, send her this way. I’ll bring her in with us. I know you have to get situated. Dana has David.”

I chuckle. “Okay, squirt. You win. Uncle Marshall is going to swim with you, but we have to take off your shoes and shorts.”

When I set her down she dances in place, in a hurry to join everyone else. As soon as I get the shorts off she sprints from my grasp toward a dripping Marshall who is now standing by the water’s edge waiting for her. When she gets close enough she leaps into his arms, her blond hair flying behind her as her happy squeals fill the air again.

Shaunda is on Jeff’s back in the water, and both are laughing as they watch their boys have a serious water wrestling match. Gunner and Wyatt are both doing their best to take Knox down, but he isn’t going without a fight.

I turn back to my wife and watch as she shimmies off her shorts and tank top, revealing the slightly rounded belly that comes with being newly pregnant again, and think about how lucky I am. I married her six months after we moved in together and got her pregnant right away. My wife pregnant is a beautiful sight.

“Your brother spoils our kid rotten,” I say as I strip of my socks and hiking boots.

“He’s turned out to be quite the softy. Dana has mellowed him out big time.”

“A good woman will do the trick.” I grin at her as I take her in my arms. “You feeling okay? You need to rest a little bit?”

“I’m tired, but I’m good. It’s nice to be out of the house and specifically out of the bathroom. I hate the puking portion of pregnancy.”

“I know, but you should be in the clear now. Four and a half months is past the danger zone.”

She grins up at me and says, “Thanks for dragging me out. I forgot how much Jackie loves this place.” We both look over to see Marshall tossing her into the air and catching her before her head can go under the water.

“She loves the water but I think she loves being anywhere Uncle Marshall and Aunt Dana are,” I remind her.

“Yeah, they are good aunt and uncle material. If you would’ve told me five years ago that those two would end up married with a kid I’d have laughed myself silly, but every time I see them together it makes more sense,” she says smiling bigger now.

I kiss her forehead, having no need to reply to that because what she says is the truth. Apparently, they were dancing around each other for a couple of years and when Dana broke her leg on our first hike he finally got his head out of his ass. It just took them a while to tell the rest of us. I suspected it long before they told us, but I kept that to myself.

I move over to the backpack and remove my hearing aids for safe keeping, now I’m ready to get in the water. When I stand, Colby reaches toward me and we head to the water hand in hand. When we get close, I surprise her by scooping her up in my arms and running straight into the water until I topple over, soaking us both. When Colby surfaces she’s sputtering water and by the look on her face, laughing too. She smacks me on the arm playfully and turns around, reaching her arms out to a waiting Jackie who swims right into them. I’m so pleased we got her those swim lessons at the indoor pool during the winter. The kid loves the water so much I was afraid she’d jump in somewhere and sink.

Colby passes Jackie off to me and my little girl lifts her hands and signs to me that she wants to go back to Uncle Marshall. Another thing my little smarty-pants has learned is some sign language. It helps when my hearing aids are out, and it’s been awesome to have our own little family language. She thinks it’s cool and we are all learning it together.

I look around me as I tread water, taking in the beautiful scenery. Not just the landscape but also my family and our friends, and I think about how lucky I am that I was able to find life in the most unexpected place—right outside the gates of a cemetery. Surviving Afghanistan and then Carol’s death makes moments like this even sweeter because I understand that life is both beautiful and fleeting. It’s worth it to survive every low moment because there are these kinds of high moments waiting on the other side.

Colby

As I watch my little girl using her new sign language skills with her daddy, I can’t help but be proud. She’s smart as a whip, just like her daddy, with a little dose of rowdy, like me. I can’t wait to see what personality our little boy will have. My life reads like a fairy tale these days and it feels good to be happy.

My sister has been given another clean bill of health and her boys are growing up to be funny, polite and interesting kids. They are all so different but my love for them has stayed the same. They spend a lot of time with us because Victor is good about teaching them cool survival tricks and taking them places.

The shop is doing well, Victor’s job has been amazing, and my little family is growing in a way that makes us happy. I’m not even sad that I had to give up driving the monster truck because I got pregnant with Jackie sooner than we expected. I thought I would miss it, but I don’t. It’s hard to miss something when your life is as full as mine.

Victor still goes out to Carol’s grave every year for her birthday and takes her pink roses. I love that he’s kept that up. He was afraid to tell me about it, but I discovered a receipt the second year we were together and asked him about it since I obviously never got roses. He came clean and told me. When I didn’t get angry he was surprised. I explained to him that I wouldn’t want to be with a man who could forget someone he loved even if they were no longer around. To me, his continued commitment is sweet and appropriate. That seemed to settle him down quite a bit.

Jackie again reaches for my brother, who scoops her up and tosses her in the air. The sound of her giggles ring out as my nephews swim toward them yelling for a turn too. Victor watches them all with such happiness on his face that I can’t help but move over to him, wrap my arms around his neck and kiss his cheek. When he turns to face me, I’m reminded of how lucky I am to have a man like him to spend the rest of my life with.

Ten Years Later…

Wyatt

It’s been a long night. I finally broke down and told my parents that after my eighteenth birthday a few weeks ago I enlisted in the Army. My high school graduation is in a few days and they’ve been bugging me about registering for fall classes and putting the deposit down on my dorm room in Denver. I was afraid to tell them because I knew my dad would lose his shit, but Uncle Victor told me to man up and do it.

I went to him several months ago asking questions about the Army, knowing he’d give me the truth about how life in the military really is. He encouraged me to go to college and then enter as an officer after I graduated if I still wanted to join. I took into consideration what he said for a few days and then decided against it.

What none of the adults in my life has factored in when talking to me about life after high school is the fact that I don’t want to go to college. I’ve had a hard enough time going to high school every day. Not because I’m not smart; I’m a steady A/B student without studying at all, but I don’t want to be a suit and tie guy. I don’t want to sit behind a computer or be stuck in board meetings all day long. Corporate life will never be my thing. I want the physicality of military life, I want to face the danger, and I want to fight my way through it.

My older brother, Knox, is definitely the suit and tie kind of guy. He’s in college now with plans to be an architect and is doing great. He loves his classes, enjoys reading, studying and creating things using math. But that’s my big brother. Always the smartest guy in the room, an overachiever since birth. I look up to him and admire him for the man he is, but I’m not Knox.

Who knows what Gunner will end up doing. Right now, he’s a high school horndog working his way through dating every beautiful girl in our high school and was close to achieving that goal until he met the likes of Erin Brown. She is by far the prettiest, sweetest girl in our high school and won’t give him the time of day. The first time he asked her out she told him that she’s not interested in jumping aboard the Gunner Beaumont Express where so many had ridden before her. Since then he’s asked her out three more times and each time she’s said no. He’s finally met his match and is determined to get her to go out with him. That has become his whole life’s focus.

Anyway, I told my parents about my Army enlistment about four hours ago. Mom started crying, Dad stormed out, cussing the whole way, and Gunner just shook his head and walked back to his room. I hugged my mom, hoping to stop her from crying, and then took off to stay with Knox in Denver for the night.

He’s living in an apartment with two other guys who are both 21 and have no problem buying me beer. Knox was not as supportive as I hoped he’d be about my career choice, but he didn’t kick me out either. Now we’re about a 12-pack of beer into the conversation and he’s trying to convince me not to do it. If I hadn’t had so much to drink already, I’d grab a hotel room for the night so I didn’t have to hear him yapping.

I know they are all afraid for me, but this is what I want to do. I want to fight for my country, I want to see the world, I want to see the worst of things so I can appreciate the most beautiful things too. I decided a long time ago I want to be a man that other men look up to. I want to be like Uncle Victor.

My brothers and I have spent a lot of time with Victor over the years. In fact, I don’t remember a time in my life that he wasn’t around. He’s always given us his time and his wisdom, and most of the things that have interested me and stuck with me have been things he learned while he was in the Army.

There’s a knock on the door and Knox gets up and answers it. I down the rest of my beer and get up to get another when Knox returns with Uncle Victor in tow. He tilts his head to the side and lifts an eyebrow. The man never has to say a word with those crazy hazel eyes. They seem to burrow into you and ask whatever questions he has for him. Sometimes it’s freaky.

I set the empty beer can on the counter and shove my hands in my pockets, a little embarrassed to be caught half-drunk by him. Knox looks between us and mumbles about doing something in his room and disappears. Fuck. I don’t think he’s here to celebrate the family knowing about my enlistment.

“What are you doing here?”

“Really? That’s what you’re going to ask?”

I shrug. “Come on, have a seat. Want a beer?”

He shakes his head. “Nah, man. I have to drive home tonight. Your Aunt Colby and your mom sent me here to talk to you. I didn’t tell them that you came to me earlier about all of this, but I figure we’d better have a conversation about this one last time. I need to know why you are doing this. Your family is freaked way the hell out.”

I look at him for a few long moments and decide to lay it out for him. “I love my dad and he’s been a good role model for me and my brothers. He’s strong, reliable, hard-working and has always taken care of us, but he never served his country. For whatever reason that means something to me and I want my own kids to be able to look at me with pride, the way I look at you, and know that I not only take care of my family but I also served my country.”

“Me?” His eyes widen and his mouth opens like he’s going to say something, but he can’t. Maybe I said too much. Maybe it was wrong to tell him that. He wanted the reason, the truth behind the decision, so he’s getting it. Victor stands up and walks over to the sliding back door that leads to a miniature balcony that overlooks the parking lot and the street below. I follow him out and lean my elbows on the rail like he’s doing. He’s quiet, but I learned a long time ago that Uncle Victor processes things quietly, so I wait.

After what feels like an eternity he finally says, “You and your brothers have been my little buddies almost since the first time I saw you guys. I’ve grown to love you all like you are my own blood, so what you’ve just said to me has me partly flattered and partly terrified beyond belief.

“You’ve grown up to be an honorable young man and a guy I will enjoy a friendship with as an adult. I already respect you for having the courage to go your own way—even if it’s the hard way—and be your own man. But the part of me that loves you more than you’ll ever know is terrified that you’ll experience what I did or worse, what Judson did or some of my buddies who never made it home. The thought that you could get sent to some godforsaken place and not come home the same person or worse, not come home at all, makes me want to do something crazy and irrational like tie you up and keep you in my basement so you can’t leave. So I know you’re safe.

“You get that what you’re about to do is the hardest thing you’ll ever do and that it’s probably not at all what you think it’s going to be like, right? Was I clear about that when we talked? Please tell me that I didn’t glorify Army life and make you think it’s like the movies.”

“Uncle Vic, stop. Nothing you told me when we talked sounded glorious. It sounded hard, it sounded lonely at times, it sounded hot and dusty and it sounded brave. I get it. I’m not doing this for any reason other than I have an overwhelming desire to serve our country and follow in the footsteps of a man I respect more than almost any other. You.”

“If something happens to you, the guilt I will feel…” He swallows hard and looks away so I can’t see his face.

“If something happens to me, then you will know better than anyone that I’m doing what I think is right. I’m living my life the way I want to live it. I’m hoping you will support me because you understand better than any of them.”

He stands up straight and turns toward me and I’m not sure what he will say or what he will do so I hold my breath waiting.

He reaches out and pulls me into the tightest hug I’ve probably ever had. “I love you, kid. I’m proud of you already, but what will make me most proud is having you come back home when it’s all said and done. Make sure that happens, okay?” I can hear the overwhelming emotion in his voice and I swallow hard, trying not to lose it. He pats my back twice a little harder than is necessary, pulls away and strides back through the apartment. I follow quickly.

“Uncle Vic!” I call to him. He stops but doesn’t turn around. “I promise I’ll come back.”

He glances back to me and tears are sitting on his eyelids. “I’m counting on it, Wyatt.” The look on his face tells me he believes that I will do my best, but he’s scared. I don’t get a chance to say more because he’s out the door too quickly, and for the first time since I made the decision, I’m a little nervous I won’t be able to keep that promise.

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