Josh didn’t move from her loveseat until he was positive she was sound asleep. It was killing him knowing she was there watching him and not being able to do a damn thing about it. It felt as though she was eating him up with her eyes. I wanted to do a lot more than that to her.

What Ellie didn’t know was she didn’t need Josh the man, she needed Josh the soldier, and that’s who she was going to get. Of course, his acting skills were really being pushed to the limit. Though it didn’t help any that he really wanted her. Last night it had been almost unbearable as his jeans got so tight they were uncomfortable. But his role didn’t include bedding her. If he did without her knowing why they truthfully met, that’d be fucked up even by his standards. Ellie’s feelings were as important to him as her life was. He would do everything in his power not to hurt her.

He needed today to go smoother than yesterday. She liked to throw curve balls at him, first with having him watch the shop, then the little trip to Frank’s. Today supposedly was all planned out. That didn’t mean it was going to go that way.

Ellie came into the shop and said, “Okay, the cake is boxed and ready to go into the car. Do you think you can carry it for me? I don’t think I’d forgive myself if I dropped it.”

“Nothing like making a person nervous to say yes,” Josh teased. “You get the doors, and I’ll carry.” She didn’t move so he said, “And I promise not to drop it.”

Ellie smiled. “Music to my ears.”

The cake was in a large rectangular box, but the top was clear, and he could see the cake. If he didn’t know better, he’d actually think it was a pizza. “Ellie, this looks amazing. I can’t believe you pulled it off.”

“Wait, you’re the one who said I could do it, remember? I was the one who thought you were crazy.”

Josh laughed. “I’m glad you listened to me because this is talent.”

“I just hope Coralee is as thrilled as you seem to be.”

“She will be.” Lifting the box carefully, Josh said, “Now get those doors before I decide to eat it instead.”

Ellie huffed. “Build my business then eat all the profits. I see how this works.”

He usually wasn’t a sweets eater, but if she baked it, he couldn’t seem to resist. I like it best when I taste it on you.

“Quit stalling. We need to drop this cake off so we can hit the road.”

As she held the doors, she asked, “Just don’t—”

“I know. I won’t drop it.” Josh was supposed to be protecting her life. Instead the only thing he was securing right now was the safety of a cake. He couldn’t believe it. Josh could hear the snickers from the team as they watched through telescopes. And when he thought it couldn’t get worse, it did.

Shutting the hatchback, he saw Ellie grinning and holding out the keys. “You did so well with the cake that I thought maybe you’d deliver it for me.” She batted her long, beautiful eyelashes at him.

Oh, no way. “See that thing?” He pointed to her car. “That is you. Not me. I’m here to help only.”

With a heavy sigh, she handed him her keys. “Fine, but I’m too nervous to drive.” She walked over to the passenger side and got inside.

Josh stood holding the keys. It was bad enough riding with her in this thing, but driving it was totally different. He even had a hard time getting into the driver’s seat.

“Sorry. I guess I’m short. The seat goes much farther back.”

He adjusted it as far back as he could get it. No matter what, he wasn’t going to be comfortable. It wasn’t the car; it was all the decorations on it.

Chris must’ve returned from giving his report to the police because his sarcastic ass chimed in, “Hold still pretty boy while I take your picture. Gabe will love this.”

Gabe definitely would have a field day with this. A bit of photoshop work and Josh would be tortured with it for the next fifty years. Turning his head so Ellie couldn’t see, he gave his men a warning glare. It was only met by more laughter. Yeah, not too fierce looking driving a large fucking cupcake.

As he pulled from the curb, he reminded himself this was for Ellie. That helped ease the humiliation only slightly. He’d rather be in an outnumbered shootout with hostiles coming from all directions than driving in this.

The wedding hall was only ten miles away. It wasn’t long before they arrived and unloaded the cake. Josh had hoped it was a drop and leave type of thing, but Coralee insisted on coming out and seeing the cake for herself. Josh didn’t care if it was her wedding day or not, he didn’t want anyone saying a negative word to Ellie about the cake. He knew how long she’d been working on it, most of the day yesterday and all morning today.

Coralee looked the cake over closely, then her eyes welled up and she began to cry. “I can’t believe it.”

“Is there something wrong?” Josh asked flatly.

Ellie turned to him and with just her eyes told him to shush. He did. It wasn’t his place to intrude. This was between the customer and the owner. I’m just the driver.

“This is not what I expected,” Coralee choked out. Josh bit his tongue. “Do you know what that is?” Coralee pointed to the base the cake was sitting on.

It looked like frosted bricks. Josh had no idea what Coralee had an issue with.

“Yes I do,” Ellie said softly as she pulled out some tissues from her pocket.

“How did . . . you . . .?”

“I searched for a picture of your father’s restaurant. This one is the best I could come up with.”

Tears started all over again, and Josh finally figured it out. Happy tears, sad tears, and confused tears, so many tears, but they all looked alike to him. He backed up farther, giving the ladies a few minutes alone to enjoy their bonding moment. Josh was relieved about one thing: the cake was going to be memorable.

If he could, he would’ve waited at the car, but he needed to remain close to Ellie. She must’ve noticed him still lingering around and gave Coralee a quick hug before heading back toward him.

When she got closer, he noticed Coralee wasn’t the only one who’d shed a few tears. Josh reached up and wiped a stray tear away with his hand. “Your brother would be damn proud of you.”

Ellie sniffed. “I . . . know.”

He pulled her into his arms, and they stood in the parking lot, holding each other. Josh knew this had been a risk for her. But he too was proud of her. She had much more inner strength than she realized. I bet you could even handle the truth if I told you.

It had been weighing on him heavily. This was the place he wanted to share it with her. Taking her to Newport was going to be good for them. He could finally be honest and tell her what was going on. Not everything, because there were things no one should know. Ellie had the right to know what a great man her brother had been.

Josh hadn’t discussed it with Rafe, and he wasn’t going to. This was his call. Ellie was damn important to him. If he thought for one moment that bringing her into the loop would endanger her, he’d clam up. But it might be the one thing that would end up keeping her safe.

He hated letting her go, but there was a wedding about to take place, and they weren’t on the guest list. “We better get going.”

When they got back to the car, Ellie once again got in the passenger’s seat. The original reason for him driving no longer existed, but Josh didn’t remind her. She seemed so distant right now. Whatever she was thinking, going through, he would be patient. Eventually, when she was ready, Ellie would talk to him. Somehow she always did.

The entire ride back was quiet, in the car at least. He could hear the chatter between Rafe and the others. It sounded as though Gabe might have come up with a name.

“Chris, I want you to take the lead and cover Ellie and Josh. I’m going to head out with David and Renzo. We’re going to go pay this bastard a visit.”

Come on. Who the hell are we talking about? As soon as they arrived back at the shop, he turned to Ellie and said, “I have to make a call, I’ll be right in.”

“Okay,” she said. Her voice was still filled with what he assumed to be sadness.

I’ll deal with that next.

Once she was out of earshot, Josh asked, “What did you find? Where are you guys going?”

Rafe answered. “The list was actually a name. If you take the first letter of each of the vegetables, you get Carlos Mabe.”

“You’re joking right?” Josh said.

“No.”

“I can’t believe it was something so fucking simple and not one of us saw it. What the hell is wrong with us? Not even Gabe.” Josh said. Josh really couldn’t believe he missed it. This distraction with Ellie was becoming dangerous. It might be a small mistake, but what about next time?

“Excuse me. I was looking for the hidden message. I don’t think you guys even needed me for this one,” Gabe snapped back.

Rafe ignored them both and said, “Gabe, found that Carlos had been Frank’s first partner at the Bureau.”

“And you think he’s the leak?” Josh asked.

“Gabe pulled his financials. Seems Carlos is doing quite well for a guy working for the FBI. He’s not a field agent any longer. They put him on a desk job. Guess there was a question with a wrongful death of a suspect a few years ago.”

Shit. That would go along with what they’d learned Anthony Parker was involved in. People disappearing and dying without explanation.

“What are you going to do?” Josh asked. If Carlos was guilty, the odds of him talking willingly was slim. He was on someone’s payroll, and that person was who they wanted. Carlos was just another pawn in the mix of slime.

“We are going to take him someplace where we can . . . chat privately,” Rafe said.

Normally these so-called conversations weren’t done with government employees. If something went wrong, they were all fucked. “Have you pulled all his phone records? Or thought about wiretapping him first?”

They’d used force in the past to get what they needed. He wasn’t opposed to doing so again. He just wanted to confirm he hadn’t missed anything while being stuck here in Yonkers.

“All bases covered. I’m surprised you thought you needed to ask. We wouldn’t make this move if we thought we were wrong,” Rafe said defensively.

Josh knew that as well, so why was he so uneasy about this? Hell, they’d faced worse shit in Tabiq and Moreira. Both those places crawled with evil, yet they’d managed to survive. The only difference was now he could see who he was fighting for.

Ellie wasn’t just an assignment to him any longer. He genuinely cared for her. What Rafe and the others did would affect her as well. But as with any team, they needed to trust each other completely. He knew Rafe wouldn’t jeopardize Ellie or anyone else.

“I guess I’m not used to sitting on the sidelines.”

“You’re not. You need to get Ellie out of Yonkers. If anything goes wrong, that’s where they will be looking.”

“We’re leaving for Newport within the hour.”

“Flying?” Rafe asked.

“Driving.”

“Take the chopper.”

“Rafe, she doesn’t know what’s going on yet. How the hell am I going to explain the chopper?” Josh asked gruffly.

“You’ll think of something. Chris, keep me updated on any movement, got it?”

“Roger that.”

So it was decided. Josh once again had to go inside and quickly devise some bullshit story as to what was going on. I think this is still better than driving around in this damn car.

---

“Josh, I know you said you had a surprise for me, but I thought maybe more flowers or something. I really don’t like helicopters.”

“Do you get sick?” Josh asked.

Ellie shrugged. “I don’t know. I’ve never been on one.”

Josh laughed. “So your opinion is based on fear?”

“I don’t think that’s very funny. It’s not the thing itself. More like I’m afraid of heights.”

“But you said you fly on planes.”

She knew she was being irrational. Planes go much higher than a helicopter. But did a fear need to be rational? If so, then most fears wouldn’t exist. “This is different.”

“Yes, it is. You’ll be with me.”

If that was supposed to calm her nerves, he’d missed his mark. She was excited to spend more time with him, but this was an overnight trip. She had packed a small bag and mustered all the confidence she could. Now adding courage to it was more than she was ready for.

“I just think that it’s so much cheaper to drive. Flights aren’t cheap.”

“Ellie, you took a major chance today and made a wedding cake. You told me yourself you were afraid to do one. Yet, you knocked it out of the park. So go for two. Get on this chopper with me and let me show you a Newport you couldn’t see any other way.”

He might have been a Marine, but damn, he could’ve been a salesman too. Ellie couldn’t bring herself to say no. Placing her hand in his, she said, “I’m telling you right now, if you’re wrong and we crash to our deaths, I’m not going to forgive you.”

“Did I drop the cake?” Josh asked teasingly.

She shot him a warning look. “You know darn well this is totally different.”

“No. It’s all about trust. Do you trust me or not?”

“I’m holding your hand aren’t I?” That was all the answer he was going to get. She wasn’t ready to say she trusted him. Trust could be broken, just like a heart. She was going into it with an open mind. Hope for the best, prepare for the worse.

When she got inside, she realized this was like being in a limo, but once it started to lift off the ground, she let go of his hand and gripped the armrest of the leather captain’s chair. She wasn’t sure if she was breathing or not. All she could see was the ground becoming farther and farther away.

With her fixated on staring out the window, it took a few times for her name to actually register. Turning back to Josh, she said, “Sorry I was . . .” Looking back out the window, her voice froze again.

“Ellie, look at me,” Josh demanded. She did as he asked. “Don’t look down. Look out. See?” He pointed to the New York City skyline.

There was no mistaking it. The sun was about to set, and light emanated, screaming come and visit. “It’s pretty, but I thought we were going to Newport, not New York.”

“We are. I asked the pilot to take the scenic route. To see things you have only seen from the ground. Are you game?”

“You’ve got me this far, so . . . yeah, I’m up for it.” She knew this would be an adventure the moment he’d asked her. All she needed to do was relax enough to enjoy it.

Josh continued to show her different sites the entire way. Between cities and bridges all lit up she had forgotten about being so far off the ground. And when they approached Newport her excitement kicked in for an entirely different reason. This was his home. She wanted to see it, experience it through his eyes.

“It’s a bit later than I thought, but I hope you enjoyed the flight.”

She smiled. “I think you know the answer.”

He leaned over and kissed her. “Yes. I do. We could head to my place, but I need to stop and check on my sister sometime tonight. Would you like to come with me?”

Meeting a sister was serious stuff. Josh had spoken about Melissa a few times. She sounded nice enough, but she remembered how she’d sized up the women Frank had dated. She wasn’t sure she was ready for the shoe to be on the other foot.

“Sure. I’d like to meet Melissa.”

He gave the pilot more instructions and before she knew it they were back in the air.

“She doesn’t live in Newport.”

“Oh.” I think I need to start asking more questions before saying yes.

Josh’s phone rang and she could tell he didn’t want to answer. Instead he texted whoever it was. Then once again gave the pilot instructions. Finally he turned back to her and said, “I asked you before if you trust me. I really need you to now. Can you do that?”

The way he said it scared her. “Josh, what’s wrong?”

“Ellie, I can’t explain right now, but I need you to know I will never let anything happen to you.”

“Okay.” She didn’t think he would. Now she wasn’t so sure. That wasn’t giving her any information to go on. “If you want me to trust you, then you need to give me a reason to.”

Josh stared at her for a moment, then said, “It’s about Frank. I might have information, but you can’t be with me when I get it.”

Her heart raced as she knew the price it cost Frank. Whoever he was meeting could be the same person who killed her brother. She didn’t want to lose Josh too.

Gripping his arms she said, “Please, Josh. Don’t do this. Call the police or the FBI. Let them handle it.”

Josh reached up, touched her cheek and said, “Don’t worry honey, I’m coming back. The pilot is taking you to my sister. Stay with her until I come for you. You’ll be safe there.”

She nodded and the chopper landed again. Josh pulled her into his arms and kissed her hard. Ellie fought back tears and tried to remain strong as he got out. The chopper immediately took off again, and all she could do was look down at him on the ground. No longer was she filled with fear of heights. Not when she didn’t know if she’d ever see him again. He said trust him and she did, but not whoever he was meeting.

When the chopper landed again, there was a car waiting for her. A tall stunning brunette was standing there smiling. She came over and said, “I’m Melissa, so nice to meet you.”

Ellie shook her hand, but right now she was confused about exactly what the hell was going on. “It’d be nice if your brother was here to do the introductions, but I’m Ellie.”

Melissa nodded. “What my brothers lack in manners, they make up for in other ways.”

Ellie didn’t follow Melissa. She stayed by the chopper. “I’m sorry. If Josh isn’t going to be here, I don’t see any reason for me to stay. I’d like to go home.”

Melissa turned to her and said, “I wish that was possible. But Josh would have my neck if I let you leave now. Not until it’s safe.”

She didn’t want to be rude, but then again, Ellie felt as though she was losing control of her life, and that felt both scary and horrible. In a firmer tone she voiced her opinion again, “I wasn’t asking permission.”

Melissa’s smile faded. “And this is what I get when my brothers choose not to have the proper conversation before taking off. I know this is not your fault and it’s not mine either. But I’m begging you, please come with me. I don’t have many answers, but I have a few.”

The problem was Ellie didn’t know what to ask. She felt as though there was so much more going on and she had somehow managed to remain in the dark. “I have one question before I make my decision.”

“Okay, I’ll see if I can answer it.”

“Why should I go with you other than Josh wanting me to?” Ellie asked. Because right now that wasn’t good enough.

Melissa said softly, “Because Frank would’ve wanted you to.”

It was like a knife in her stomach. This all seemed to revolve around her brother. He wasn’t famous, yet Melissa knew his name. That was no coincidence. Reluctantly she stepped toward Melissa. “I’ll go, but I can’t promise I’ll stay.”

“Hopefully Josh will return later tonight. Then I suggest you make him sit down and talk to you.”

As they walked to the waiting vehicle Ellie mumbled, “I thought we did talk. Guess not enough.”

“Are we going to your home?” Ellie asked.

“No. It might not be . . . safe at the moment. So there is a place we use at times like this.”

“Are you trying to scare me?”

Melissa shook her head. “Sometimes things get out of control. Thankfully, my brothers are good at keeping people alive.”

Where were they when my brother needed them? Of course she still had no idea what the Turchetta brothers did exactly. She knew Josh had been in the Marines. Thinking about it, he was too young to have retired. At first she thought he had just wanted a change, and that’s why he was in Yonkers. Now she didn’t believe that. What were you doing in Yonkers? Her heart raced. What were you doing outside of Frank’s apartment?

Things were adding up, and yet still she couldn’t connect the dots. “Is Josh FBI?”

Melissa replied. “No. None of them are. But believe me, they are the good guys. All you have to do is trust Josh. Just a little while longer.”

“Trust. That’s a big word,” Ellie said as she got into the passenger’s seat and buckled in.

Once Melissa was buckled as well, she responded. “I’m not suggesting you blindly follow whatever you’re told. I know I wouldn’t. But Frank and my brother Rafe were friends. They backed each other up out in the field. To do so takes—”

“Trust.” Ellie had never heard her brother speak of the Turchettas. Then again, he didn’t talk about work. Most likely because he didn’t want to worry her. What he never understood was she worried more because of it. And he’s dead. So I guess I didn’t worry for nothing.

She couldn’t bring herself to talk anymore on the ride. It hurt that this perfect stranger seemed to know more about Frank’s world than she did. I don’t think it’s just Frank’s secret world I am clueless about. But when I see you, Josh, either tell me what’s going on, or I’m done.

Finally the car stopped and it didn’t look anything like what she’d imagined. Melissa had been talking about a place they go when the needed to ensure their safety. This looked more like a vacation home as far as she could see. It was nighttime, but Ellie could smell the ocean and hear the waves crashing on the beach.

“This is where you’re staying?”

“We and yes.”

They got out of the car and headed inside. She didn’t know what town she was in, but wherever it was she wouldn’t mind coming here under different circumstances. A nice walk on the beach, maybe reading a book, other than a cookbook. But that wasn’t her reality. This, for all purposes, could’ve been a prison. She was stuck here.

But she knew Melissa was only doing as Josh had asked. She couldn’t take it out on her. And it was possible that this was all being done for her benefit. If anyone would’ve bothered to talk to me, maybe this wouldn’t have come as such a shock.

It took two to communicate. She thought she’d done a good job of sharing with Josh. Opening up hadn’t been easy for her, but she had. And Josh had been so supportive of everything. Or had that been a lie?

That was horrible. Josh never told her what he did, and he’d had plenty of opportunity to do so. As far as she was concerned, that was no different than lying. He intentionally left out very important parts of his life. What she didn’t understand was why.

“I’m tired, is there a place I can lie down?” Ellie asked.

“Of course. Let me show you to your room.”

Ellie didn’t take time to appreciate what the house looked like on the inside. It didn’t matter. Josh would be back soon, they would talk, and she would leave. Whatever I thought I had with Josh, I was wrong.

As she lay on the bed she realized that was what hurt the most. Tears rolled down her cheeks and onto the cool blue sheets. Ellie was angry, hurt, frustrated, and so damn confused. The person she would have turned to had died. Now the one she thought was an angel stepping into her life when she needed him the most wasn’t here to comfort her either. The simple mundane life she had been living seemed to have been ripped away and replaced by one she barely recognized. It was a dream she couldn’t wake from and a dull pain that wouldn’t cease.

Josh, why did you do this? She had asked him for help; was this his way of giving it? If so, she didn’t want it any longer. Her brother hid things for her sake. She didn’t want to be with someone who’d do the same thing.

As she cried herself to sleep, she prayed Josh was safe. If she could talk to him right now, she’d tell him Frank was gone, and no matter how much she wanted justice, it wasn’t worth the price if it cost Josh his life too.

So many emotions poured out of her. Ellie cared so deeply for Josh, more than she realized. But a relationship couldn’t survive on feelings alone. What they had could’ve been something real, something special, but it felt like it was slipping through her fingers, and that hurt like hell. All because you didn’t trust me.