Josh hadn’t given Ellie any idea where he was taking her, but it didn’t matter. It’d been so long since she’d had a real date, and she was a bundle of nerves. At least it wasn’t a blind date. She already knew Josh somewhat, so the odds were they’d have a good time. Then what was the problem?

She tried on yet another dress, but none seemed right. It was as though she was trying too hard and for what? This was only dinner. Stripping off that dress and tossing it on the pile on the bed, she pulled out a pair of jeans and a T-shirt. It seemed a bit too casual yet it said she was comfortable and laid back. That was how she wanted to be viewed, even if it was a façade.

The shop had been closed for more than an hour, and she knew Josh would be arriving soon. While waiting for him to return, Ellie went to the kitchen in the shop and pulled out the list Frank had left for her. It was troubling her for some reason, and she didn’t know why. Maybe it was because she’d changed up the order he wanted her to make them? Or could it be as simple as Frank was no longer here to try each of her new creations?

Toot Sweets had always meant everything to her, and yet now, it meant nothing without Frank. He was part of this dream. She was going through the motions to make it seem as though she didn’t want to be anywhere else, but in truth, this place was haunting her. Everything she touched reminded her of Frank. He had either bought it for her as a gift or somehow it mysteriously appeared on her doorstep. Looking at the high-end ovens and mixers was a constant reminder of how badly Frank wanted her to succeed at this.

Yet every morning she was up bright and early, moving on as though nothing had changed. Her regular customers no longer asked how she was doing. Ellie had mastered the art of hiding her pain.

She was about to return the order of the vegetables to the way Frank had them when she heard knocking on the door. No one ever showed up after hours, so it had to be Josh. Placing the list back in the drawer, she grabbed her purse and went to meet him. Inviting him inside was a bad idea. This was a dinner date, and if she let him in, they might not make it out to eat. There was a part of her that wished she could feel his strong arms around her again like she had when they first met. It had been an instant connection, on her part at least. She didn’t want to want him, but that didn’t mean she didn’t. Physical attractions occur all the time. She needed to ignore it. That’s all. Let’s see how good I am at hiding my true feelings over dinner.

When she opened the door, she hadn’t expected Josh to be holding a bouquet of wild flowers. Him being so darn sweet isn’t helping one bit either. Reaching for them she said, “They’re beautiful. Thank you.” But instead of bringing them inside and placing them in a vase with water she held them close to her. “So where are we going for dinner?”

Josh placed a hand on her back as they walked to his Jeep. She so badly wanted to suggest taking her Sportage, but she shouldn’t start a date by insulting his ride.

“I know you’re from Yonkers, but I found this small hole-in-the-wall joint I’ve become fond of. They do the best family style all you can eat chicken dinner.”

“Vocci Club. I know it well. And you’re right; their chicken is amazing. Great choice,” Ellie said as she climbed into the passenger seat. “Right next door makes homemade ice cream. That is if you have any room after dinner.”

Josh laughed. “Always have room for dessert, but ice cream, well that’s something I could eat any time of day.”

“You don’t look like you indulge too often.”

“So you’ve looked, have you?” Josh winked at her when she turned facing him in shock.

Yeah. I noticed the moment we met. “Hard to miss. You’re always in the way in the kitchen,” Ellie said teasingly, deflecting the fact she’d checked him out many times. He was easy on the eyes. With him doing the driving, she was able to enjoy the view for a few minutes longer. Unfortunately, Vocci Club wasn’t very far from her shop.

When they pulled up, she noticed there weren’t as many cars as usual for a Tuesday night. It was odd, because Tuesday was a big date night in Yonkers. At least for adults. The teenagers took over on Friday night and right through the weekend.

“I thought you’d need a reservation.”

Josh replied as he opened the door for them, “I have one.”

The hostess greeted them. “Mr. Turchetta, your table is ready.”

Oh, you might be new to Yonkers, but you seem to leave a lasting impression. She didn’t miss how the hostess looked at Josh. It was as though Ellie were invisible. She wasn’t jealous; there was no need to be. However, that didn’t stop the snappy retort. “That’s a table for two.” Ellie couldn’t believe her hormones were getting the best of her. Yet she couldn’t bring herself to apologize to the hostess.

The hostess shot her a look, stiffened, and showed them to their table. Ellie didn’t miss the grin on Josh’s face. Ellie was trying to hide her embarrassment at being so . . . bold. So rude. That wasn’t her character. At least not normally.

Once they were seated, the hostess handed them each a menu and said, “Your waiter will be with you shortly.”

That didn’t help the situation at all. Once alone Ellie said softly, “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Josh asked.

He knew darn well what she was talking about, but he wasn’t making it easy. Did he want her to admit that the little green monster of jealousy had bit her? Well that wasn’t going to happen. She wasn’t about to feed into his ego, not that he looked like he needed anyone telling him he was drop-dead gorgeous. Nope, she wasn’t going there. But that didn’t mean she was going to blush and cower either. These past few weeks, through grief, she’d found she was stronger than she’d given herself credit.

Ignoring his question, she mumbled softly to herself, “That’s like asking if I’m going to have chicken for dinner. Why state the obvious?”

The look on Josh’s face said he’d heard her comment, but he didn’t pursue it. Instead, when the waiter arrived they ordered their meal and chatted while waiting.

“How was work today?” Josh inquired.

It was nice having what would be considered a normal conversation even though she highly doubted he wanted to hear about it. She appreciated that he asked. “It was good. Believe it or not, my new A Bit Corny cupcakes sold out.”

“Wow. That’s great. Maybe you should stick with those instead of trying your next one. What was that on the list? Please tell me it wasn’t asparagus.”

Ellie chuckled. “I’m impressed you remember the list. But no. It’s not. Or at least I’m not sure which one I’m going to do next.”

“Why is that?” Josh asked as the waiter delivered their food.

“Frank had listed them out in one order, and I changed them to be what would work better for me. Or at least what I thought I could make into something edible easier. Corn was at the top of the list anyway, so that was an easy choice.”

“Seems like a wise one too. But I have to say, some of those vegetables you have listed on your board make me question if you should even bother trying to make cupcakes out of them.”

“I agree. It honestly was unusual for Frank to do it like this.”

Josh stopped eating and put his fork down before asking, “What’s different?”

Ellie didn’t want to talk about Frank. The reason she’d accepted Josh’s invitation was to get away from everything reminding her of her brother.

She wasn’t about to stop enjoying every single morsel of her chicken leg. But she couldn’t ignore his question either.

“Each week Frank gave me an ingredient to use. But he had left me an entire list of things.” She hadn’t thought about it, but had Frank suspected he was in danger? Is that why he wrote so many down? Was this his way of trying to help her through all this?

Josh interrupted her thoughts as he asked, “He’d never done that before?” Ellie shook her head. “What did you say when he gave you the list?”

She couldn’t eat as she was getting nauseated from the conversation. “He didn’t give it to me. He left it for me.”

“Left? How?”

“On a piece of paper. I really don’t want to talk about this. It’s . . . hard.” That was being mild. It was actually ripping her to pieces thinking about Frank. She knew Frank would like Josh. He might be a bit overly handsome, but he’d been in the Marines, and Frank respected all branches of the military. Frank would want her to open up to someone, but she wasn’t ready. Whatever she said was not a topic for a date. Maybe later, another time, she’d be more at ease, but not now. And even when she was ready, that didn’t mean she wanted to talk about Frank to Josh.

Josh reached across the table and said, “My turn to say sorry. I didn’t invite you out for an . . . inquisition.”

“Why did you ask me?” Ellie questioned, meeting his eyes.

“Because I like you.”

It was such a simple answer, but the one she needed to hear. “I like you too, Josh. It’s just been a rough couple of weeks, and if it’s okay with you, I’d rather not talk about it right now.”

He squeezed her hand. “When you’re ready, I’ll be here.”

Ellie found that so comforting, but there was no guarantee he’d be here. Life changed in a blink of an eye. You might not get killed, but you’ll leave. If not tomorrow, then someday.

“That’s very sweet of you. Now if you don’t mind, I’ve been dreaming of this food since you told me we were coming here.” She pulled her hand out from beneath his, picked up her fork, stabbed one of the roasted potatoes, and popped it in her mouth.

Josh picked up his fork and jabbed a piece of the chicken, but instead of bringing it to his mouth, he brought it to hers. It reminded her of when he had the cake batter on his finger offering it to her. Would he pull back again this time? She wasn’t sure, but she’d wanted a change of topic, and this sexy, playful side might be just the thing she needed.

Opening her mouth, she leaned closer until the savory morsel touched her tongue. Josh pulled the fork back so slowly it seemed . . . sensual. She was hungry but not necessarily for food. A soft moan escaped her and Josh didn’t miss it.

“Maybe we should have our desserts to go?”

Her heart raced, and she wanted to tell him they could skip dinner entirely, but a casual love affair wasn’t what she wanted or needed, no matter how tempting it was. Brushing the building desire away, she responded, “It’ll melt too quickly, so I guess we’ll need to eat it there.”

Josh picked up another piece of chicken and was about to take a bite when he said, “You’re probably right. It’s much . . . hotter than either of us anticipated.”

Such a flirt. But yet, Ellie liked it. He made her feel wanted in a way no one had in a long time. If someone had been flirtatious with her, she probably had been so focused on getting her business off the ground she’d never noticed. Her business wasn’t thriving, and it took everything she could do not to have to close her doors. It was once again, another thing she’d mastered at covering up.

The woman you think I am, I’m not. I’m really a hot mess.

---

Josh was playing with fire, and he knew it. Rafe would be in the right if he cussed Josh’s ass out for crossing the line tonight. But he got something that he may not have otherwise. He needed to see that so-called list Frank had left for Ellie. Hinting that they go back to her place for dessert seemed the best avenue at the time. Thankfully she denied his offer, one that never should have been presented.

Josh was too close to this, and he wasn’t sure why. It was a standard protection detail, yet he was breaking protocol again and again. He could lie to himself and say it’s only because his family was in the line of fire. That wasn’t entirely true. The weeks prior, while he was watching her from a distance, he’d already become personally invested. And now since they were spending more time together, he found himself driven to keep her safe, far beyond what was expected, but in his eyes was needed.

They stopped, had their ice cream, and continued chatting about anything that didn’t pertain to Frank. That meant Josh needed to find a way, an excuse, to get back inside that kitchen. He wasn’t sure, but his gut told him that’s where she had the list. But he didn’t want the night to end searching her kitchen. Actually he wasn’t ready to say goodnight no matter what.

Josh found himself enjoying her company. He never forgot why he was there, but a few times, he may have blacked out the team watching them. As they walked back to his Jeep, he reached out and took her hand in his. Ellie didn’t pull away.

Stopping at the Jeep, he said, “It’s a beautiful night, how about a walk?”

That hadn’t been the team plan, but they’d have to step it up if needed.

“The Hudson is lovely at night.”

And wide open. The team watching were trained snipers, but there was a good chance so was whoever took out Frank.

“It’s cooling off, maybe someplace less—”

“I’m not cold. If that changes, I’m sure you can fix it,” Ellie said, swaying toward him.

I know I want to. And I know I can’t. He sure as hell was attracted to her, and that was all the more reason not to touch her too much.

“I have a sweater in the back of the Jeep,” Josh said as they got inside. He heard Ellie snicker as he shut her door. Keep that sense of humor, ’cause you’re going to need it. Especially around me.

While he walked around the Jeep, one of the men asked through his earpiece, “You want us to search for that list?” Josh responded by shaking his head. He didn’t need Ellie wondering who he was speaking to. “Don’t be ducking behind too many trees. That’s not the ideal place to cover you.” Josh nodded.

They weren’t telling him anything he didn’t know. Josh would feel better with his Glock close by instead of the thing strapped to his ankle. A bullet wasn’t going to be as easy to block as the fast-moving vehicle that had tried to take her out. There was no way in hell he was putting her that wide open. The risk was too high. Thankfully he had a perfect excuse to change plans.

As they headed in the direction of the Hudson River, he made sure to go in the way that would bring them a block away from her shop. He started tapping the brakes and pretending to look concerned.

“Is everything okay?” Ellie asked.

“Damn. That must’ve been brake fluid that was leaking earlier. I think we better take a rain check on that walk.” He could see her eyes widen, and she held onto the door as though prepared to crash. He did it again, this time making it feel as though the brakes were slipping badly.

“Yes. I think home sounds good right now.” Her knuckles were almost as white as her face as she braced herself.

Josh slowed the Jeep to a crawl and finally let it bump the curb and pretended to need the emergency brake to stop. Putting the Jeep in park, he said, “I think we should walk from here.”

He got out and rushed to her side of the Jeep. Not just to be a gentleman, but to make sure his body was blocking hers. With her on the inside of the sidewalk, he relaxed slightly. But until the unknown asshole was behind bars, he wasn’t going to rest easy.

“You offering hot chocolate again tonight?” Josh asked as they walked toward her shop.

“I was thinking about trying a new concoction. One made with broccoli.”

Josh stopped dead in his tracks. “Please tell me you’re joking.”

Ellie laughed. “I wish you could’ve seen the look on your face.”

“I hate broccoli.”

Smiling, Ellie said, “Is that a challenge?”

“For what?”

“To make a cupcake out of broccoli?”

Josh didn’t remember seeing that listed on the board of things to make. If he could, he’d back out of that. But this was the perfect get-back-into-the-kitchen tactic he was waiting for.

“Yes. Consider it a challenge, and I’ll even help.”

“I guess we can do that one next Monday.”

Josh pulled her close to him. Looking down at her, he said, “I thought we could try it tonight.” In a teasing tone, he added, “Unless you don’t think you can pull it off?”

Ellie pulled back and looked up at him with her hands on her hips. “With my eyes blindfolded.”

Josh chuckled. “I don’t think you understand how much I hate broccoli.”

Ellie snickered. “Since you make a face even at the word broccoli, I think I have the picture. But I don’t back down from a challenge. I’m going to make it and you, Josh, are going to eat it.”

“That is yet to be seen. I’m telling you even my mother couldn’t get me to eat it.” Taking her hand in his, they started walking again.

“I have my ways.”

That you do. He wasn’t just talking about her baking. She had an uncanny way of getting him to talk about his family, about himself. That was not something he ever did. Even if he were out with a woman who he wasn’t assigned to watch, he never spoke of his family. If they asked, he fed them a line of bullshit. Not with Ellie. He was real with her on everything. Well almost. And the almost was starting to eat at him. If she found out why he was really there, she’d hate him. Eating broccoli will be the least of my worries.