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For Passion by Jeannette Winters (6)

Chapter Six

He’d wanted to go into the kitchen and finish what he and Ellie had started. Katia-Lynn proved to be more of a challenge to get through to than he’d thought. Josh didn’t have much experience, actually none, rationalizing with a teenage girl. Everything he said seemed to turn back to what her friends would think.

After the third attempt, Josh gave up and decided he’d let Ellie worry about her employee. He would see Ellie later that night anyway. Although he hadn’t asked her out again, judging by that kiss he was pretty sure she wouldn’t object.

“Josh, are listening to me?” Gabe asked.

Obviously not. Josh hated that he’d been forced to pull Gabe into this. But he was a cyber world genius. If anyone could erase all evidence of that little exchange between him and Ellie, it was Gabe. There was no one better when it came to damage control. Over the past several years, they’d utilized his skill more often than any of them would want to admit. Usually for things like getting in and out of countries rescuing victims from seriously fucked up people. Never had any of them, to his knowledge, asked for a personal favor.

Focusing his attention back to the video call he was having with Gabe, he asked, “Did you find it?”

Without looking into the camera because he seemed distracted by the video he was watching, Gabe responded, “You’ve got to be joking.”

“Unfortunately not,” Josh said, angry for putting himself and Ellie in this situation. He was doing all he could to remedy that. This mess wasn’t about Katia-Lynn. He was the one who screwed up, and it was his responsibility to make sure he fixed it. “I need that video removed, permanently.”

“Shit. If the others ever saw this they—”

“They won’t. Now delete it!” Josh barked.

Gabe was shaking his head, and Josh didn’t know what that meant. Was Gabe unable to undo what Katia-Lynn had done? That would be shocking from what he’d seen Gabe do in the past. Hell, the US government couldn’t even trace his shit. This task should be child’s play.

“Seriously, Josh, this is what you’re doing in Yonkers?” Gabe asked, his voice filled with surprise.

Josh knew there would be a level of goading he’d need to hear before Gabe did as he was asked. It was par for the course. Gabe would eventually see the seriousness of the matter, but not until he got a good laugh out of it. Trust me. You wouldn’t be laughing if I was there with you. Josh asked through gritted teeth, “Can you delete it or not?” He didn’t need or want an explanation, only results.

Gabe didn’t answer, and Josh could hear the keyboard as his fingers typed away. Hopefully, that meant he was in the process of handling it. When he finally looked into the webcam, Gabe said, “Seriously, Josh. What the hell were you thinking? You’re lucky all that happened was you got recorded. The kiss never should’ve happened in the first place. This woman is Frank’s kid sister and—”

“I know damn well who she is, Gabe.” Unfortunately, he’d had a lapse of judgment, and yeah, he’d forgotten. Who could blame him? Ellie was amazing. She had a knack of pulling a person into her rose-colored-glasses world. It was refreshing to be around someone so . . . sweet. I know why I’m attracted to her, but what the hell does she see in me? Whatever it was, it didn’t matter.

Gabe had every right to chew his ass out, not that Gabe hadn’t done the same fucking thing not that long ago when he met Vanessa and was so-called protecting her. There was one major difference. Josh and Gabe were opposites. Gabe was the settle down, family type of guy. Josh never dated the same woman more than twice. He considered having a third date too much of a commitment.

Before Gabe could continue lecturing, Josh noticed Vanessa come up behind him and wave in the webcam. “Hi, Josh. How are things going in Yonkers?”

Gabe laughed. “Want to see what—”

“Drop it, Gabe,” Josh warned.

He watched Vanessa shake her head. “You two are horrible. Gabe, I don’t see anything funny about this one bit. And, Josh, Ellie seems like a really nice girl. I hope you’re not playing with her emotions. That wouldn’t be very nice at all.”

Vanessa was right, and she straightened both brothers out. He saw Gabe cave immediately and knew he’d pushed the delete button finally.

Gabe said in a serious tone, “It has been removed from the internet as well as from Katia-Lynn’s cell phone. I was able to track it, and she hadn’t forwarded it to anyone. It’s like it never happened.”

If only it was that easy. “Thanks.”

Vanessa wasn’t done with him. She must’ve nudged Gabe over because it was only her face he saw now. In her normal soft, sweet tone, she said, “Josh, I’m serious about what I said. Ellie is very vulnerable right now. You’re all she has. Don’t take advantage of that power.”

If this had been one of his brothers or anyone on the team, he’d have told them to mind their fucking business. But Vanessa was speaking not just from her heart, but from personal experience.

“It’s a line I don’t plan on crossing again.”

Vanessa said, “It’s too late, Josh. I saw the way she looked at you. It was as though you were in a room all to yourselves. You can’t put up a wall now. It’ll hurt and confuse her.”

That is why he didn’t do relationships. When it came to his personal life, he enjoyed living in the moment. It was shallow. But he never had to worry about packing his gear and heading off to a mission. He was home, or he wasn’t. It was that simple. Someone like Ellie, especially after losing her brother, would go to pieces every time he left. Josh didn’t want that for either of them.

“Vanessa, I’m not the guy for her.”

“That may or may not be the case. To know, you’d honestly need to invest a bit of time to find out.”

“Time is not going to change anything.”

“May I make a suggestion?” Vanessa asked.

And if I say no? The problem with Vanessa knowing about why he really reached out to Gabe, was it increased the odds of Melissa finding out. She wouldn’t be so kind and soft-spoken with her opinion.

“As long as you agree to keep this entire conversation between the three of us.”

Vanessa smiled. “Of course.”

Josh wasn’t a betting man, but he knew the odds of that honestly happening were slim to none. “Then let’s hear it.”

“You should tell her the truth.”

That I’m an asshole and should never have kissed her? That does sum it up. “There will be a time for that. I’m not sure now would be it.”

“You’re thinking like a man.”

Josh nodded. “That’s usually how we guys think.”

Vanessa let out a heavy sigh. “Why don’t you try being Josh the man and not Josh the Marine? Open up. Show her your sensitive side. That’s what Gabe did with me and look at us now.” She leaned over and kissed Gabe on the cheek.

Josh wasn’t sure who wanted this call to end more, he or Gabe, but they both let out a groan.

“Don’t you dare try to deny it, Gabe,” Vanessa said. Gabe just smiled, staring into the webcam. “I have no idea how any of you men get through life. You get in your own way.”

If she was trying to sell him on a relationship, she sure as hell was going about it the wrong way. “Yeah, but somehow it all works out. Trust me, this will be okay. Ellie will not get hurt.”

Shaking her head, Vanessa added, “That’s right. Because I’m not going to stand back quietly if I think she’s going to. And I’m sure the others will agree.”

Oh, the ones that you’re not going to share this information with? Yeah. I thought so. “Maybe if we end this conversation, Gabe can continue his search for the real bad guys, and none of this will be an issue for very long.”

Gabe chimed in, “Don’t put me in the middle of this.”

Don’t get all sensitive, Gabe. He was done with this. “Neither of you are. This is between Ellie and me. Gabe, I appreciate your help. Now if you don’t mind, I have a few things I need to deal with myself.” Josh didn’t mean to sound so gruff, but the entire thing frustrated him. Mostly because Vanessa hit the nail on the head, saying this could really hurt Ellie. The rest was farfetched.

“I have faith you’ll do the right thing,” Vanessa said before the call ended.

Josh slipped his SAT phone into his pocket. Your confidence is misplaced. He could be trusted with many things, none having anything to do with the heart. There was at least, one major thing he’d resolved. Ellie no longer needed to worry about her reputation being tarnished.

Now he needed to work on himself. He couldn’t pull away, and he sure as hell couldn’t move forward. All he could do was hope he didn’t fuck up like he had earlier.


As Ellie thought, the rest of her afternoon was predictable. Katia-Lynn hadn’t gone about things the right way, but she did have a valid point. A business couldn’t survive like this. She needed to think outside the box for a new and creative way to draw customers in.

After the shop closed, Ellie sat on the floor with a pad and pen jotting down ideas.

Billboards. Too expensive.

Television ads. Way too expensive.

Running weekly specials. Won’t matter if only my regular customers know about it.

She needed something eye-catching that no one could miss, but she could use only when she needed it. Ellie laughed to herself as she pictured a large blowup cupcake on top of the building. But to do that required getting a permit and that meant a building inspector. She was able to keep up with any repairs that were needed, but this wasn’t a new building by any means. The last thing she needed was someone climbing on the roof, looking for problems.

Tossing the notepad onto the floor, she hung her head. I didn’t go to school for marketing. I have no idea what to do.

With her eyes closed, she practically leaped out of her skin when she heard the knock on the door. Spinning around, still on the floor, she recognized Josh even though the lights were off outside. Ellie had mixed emotions about seeing him. Part of her had been waiting all afternoon for him to return. And then there was a piece of her that was afraid of the powerful sexual attraction she had for him. That wasn’t like her, or so she thought.

Ellie couldn’t sit there and pretend she hadn’t seen him. Getting up, she went to the door and unlocked it.

“What were you doing on the floor?” Josh asked as he entered.

“Thinking,” Ellie replied as she picked up the pad and pen and walked to put them on the counter.

“And this is where you do your best thinking?”

She turned back to Josh. “No, usually walking on the Hudson. We know how well that worked out for us last time.”

“True. So why don’t you tell me what’s troubling you?”

Ellie handed him the notepad and waited while he read what she had jotted down. When he laughed, she knew he’d gotten to the end.

“This probably isn’t what you want to hear, and heck I can’t believe I’m even saying it, but Katia-Lynn might be right,” she said. Ellie had tried thinking of anything that would provide such a big bang. It wasn’t her they would come to see, nor the cupcakes. But Josh, well, he was a beefcake and that was sex appeal to many in town. She had no idea how the women hadn’t noticed and snagged him already.

Josh seemed puzzled by her comment. After the lecture she’d given Katia-Lynn earlier, she couldn’t blame Josh. But it was a woman’s prerogative to change her mind.

“You can’t believe putting up that video was a good thing.”

“No, Josh. It was wrong of her to do so. But the idea behind it, well you have to admit, she might be onto something.”

“I know I’ve been gone for several hours, but what exactly did I miss that caused this change of heart?” Josh asked.

“I was about to make myself a taco salad. You can join me, and we can talk while I cook.”

“I actually came to see if you wanted to go out for dinner.”

Although that was tempting, Ellie truly enjoyed cooking and was looking forward to being at home. Someone like Josh probably found that quite boring. “I have everything here. Are you sure I can’t talk you into staying?”

Josh grinned. “Only if I can help. And when I say help I mean, I can chop tomatoes.”

Ellie laughed and shook her head. “Sorry. No way I’m letting you near food. Not after what you did with the cupcakes.”

“Me?”

“Yes you,” Ellie replied.

“I seem to recall a certain young lady who did a lot more than just dab my nose with frosting,” Josh said teasingly.

Batting her long lashes, Ellie said, “Would you believe I slipped?”

Josh shook his head. “Not for a second.”

Ellie shrugged. “How about . . .”

“You proved your point,” Josh stated.

“What point was that?” Ellie asked.

Stepping toward her, Josh said, “That you’re tiny but fierce. And that is what you need to channel when you think about Toot Sweets. You don’t need Katia-Lynn to guide you. Everything you need is right here”—he raised his hand to her head, then to her heart—“and here.” Ellie tensed. Not at his touch, but his words. She wanted the light, playful conversation back, but Josh continued, “Your brother believed in you, Ellie. So do I.”

She felt as though the walls were closing in. Ellie still had fight in her but felt as though she needed time to figure out what it all meant. Too many changes all at once. Frank was relentless with his constant encouragement, and now Josh stood there speaking as though this was supposed to be easy.

“Do you really think a few words are like flipping on a light switch? Frank believed, and you believe, but the data isn’t showing the result. Why can’t people realize there are things I don’t know how to handle?” At least not alone.

It had been a stupid dream, that someday Frank would leave the FBI and together they’d run Toot Sweets as equal partners. I’d do the baking, and he’d handle the financials. Knowing it would never happen wasn’t the worst thing. This was just a building. What was eating her up was losing Frank.

“I’m sorry. Maybe we can skip having dinner tonight. I just want to be alone,” Ellie said, trying to hold back the tears. Josh didn’t move, and she couldn’t slip by him. “Please, I’m not feeling up to it tonight.”

“Ellie, you have to eat. The offer to go out still stands.”

He didn’t get it. As soon as he’d mentioned Frank a weight seemed to fall on her. Ellie tried again, “I’m not hungry. I just want—”

Josh stepped closer and placed his hands on her upper arms. “Don’t push me away. I’m here for you. If you want to talk, we’ll talk. If you want to . . . have another food fight, then let it rip. But I don’t believe for a minute you really want me to go.”

He was right, and Ellie appreciated his trying to make her smile again. “I’m just having a rough day. Today makes four weeks since . . . Frank died.” And I still don’t know why.

In a soft voice, Josh said, “Then why don’t you let me make you dinner, and we’ll stay here.”

Ellie nodded, and Josh let go of her. He turned toward the stove. Sitting there and watching him cook was only going to give her more time to think. That’s the last thing she needed right now. So she went and stood by him. Forcing a smile, she picked up one of the tomatoes in a wire basket hanging over the counter. Handing it to Josh, she said, “Small, diced pieces.”

As he took it, Josh asked, “Don’t trust me to cook?”

She shook her head. “I’m too hungry to risk it.”

Josh laughed. “Wise woman.”

“I’d be happy to teach you how.”

“Let’s see how I do with this.” Josh grabbed a knife and cut a tomato in half and then looked back at her. “Small enough?”

Ellie chuckled. “Do that about forty more times, and I think you have it.”

Josh didn’t stop at just the tomatoes. He chopped the lettuce, olives, onions, and even the jalapeños. As she cooked the hamburger and added the seasoning, she noticed Josh knew his way around a knife. He was able to talk and chop and never come close to nicking his fingers. Next time he offered to cook, she was going to call his bluff and let him.

As she put all the ingredients for the taco salad together and carried the huge platter to the table, she was shocked to see Josh had already set the table. It was really nice having him there, cooking by her side.

When she sat down, she turned to him and said, “I’m glad you stayed.” She wished she knew for how long. Her gut said Yonkers wasn’t going to be graced by his presence much longer. The most she could do was enjoy the time she did have with him.

“You had me at taco salad.”

He seemed to always make light of the subject. That probably was for the best. The last thing Ellie needed was to get all wrapped up in him.

“Yes, I did. And I believe you said next time you’ll cook.”

Josh took a bite of the taco salad and said, “Not if you keep cooking like this. This is delicious.”

Shaking her head, Ellie said, “Flattery won’t get you off the hook.” He gave her a wink then leaned over and placed a brief kiss on her lips. “That’s sweet too, but you’re still cooking next time.”

Josh laughed. “Maybe after dinner we can negotiate a bit over dessert.”

Ellie blushed. “Definitely. But if you’ll excuse me for a moment, I forgot something in the kitchen.”

She went back inside, opened the cupboard, and pulled out a plate she’d set aside. She returned with the only surviving cupcake. Placing it in front of him, she said, “We can discuss it right after you eat your veggies. Josh, meet your challenge. I call this Broccolicous.”

Josh let out a heavy sigh, picked it up, and took a huge bite, green frosting lingering on his upper lip. Ellie smiled as she watched him take a second and third bite. She couldn’t help but be pleased when the entire thing had been gobbled up.

“You really ate it!”

Josh said, “I didn’t want to wear it again.” Then he reached out and took her hand in his. “You’re a wonderful baker. But please don’t ever tell my sister you got me to eat broccoli. I’ll never hear the end of it.”

Filled with pride, she said, “The secret is safe with me.”

Although tempted to lick the little bit of frosting that lingered as the only evidence he ate her cupcake, she didn’t want to start something she wasn’t ready to finish with him. There was no doubt if she gave in to her desires, it would be explosive. He could set her tingling with just a look or brief touch. No. Tonight, they would have dinner, talk and share some laughs. But that was all. Anything more would only add to her current state of emotional turmoil. She’d probably have to remind herself of that a few more times before he left.

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