Chapter 1
Deplaning in San Diego, Talon grabbed his bag off the luggage cart and hefted it over his shoulder. He knew exactly where he was going. It had been almost eleven months ago since he’d been here. Almost another year of additional pain, another year of additional growth, another year of additional physical struggles. But he had survived. He had been here before, after his best friend had died a year ago. At the time Talon had considered it a senseless accident, one of those things that cut down the good people without care, without worry, striking without thinking about who the person was, individually and to others.
And now Talon had recently found out that Chad, his best friend, had been murdered. The news hadn’t settled easily. Talon thought potentially this was just another bad joke in the Life isn’t fair context. Instead it was yet one more horrible puzzle piece in a game someone else was playing to systematically take out family members and friends of the remaining members of his former SEALs unit.
Talon didn’t have any close family. He knew his birth parents must be out there somewhere, but he had no idea who they even were. He had never had any inclination to seek them out. And they had never sought him out either. As far as Talon was concerned, that was fine by him.
Consequently Talon had been in and out of the foster care system and had joined the navy as soon as he could. It had been straight upward for him after that. But, while in high school, he’d met Chad. And that had been a relationship that he had managed to keep ever since. Until Chad’s murder a year ago. Talon hadn’t made it for the funeral, having been in and out of the hospital from his own traumatic experience. He’d tried hard, but the doctors had refused, stating that any long-distance travel like that would set back what little progress Talon had made after yet another surgery. He was not doing well at all. The news of Chad’s death had sent Talon into a tailspin. So the doctors had returned Talon to intensive care to block out the wider world until he recovered, knowing that any more bad news would potentially put him in a permanent downward spiral.
Still, he should have contacted Clary after Chad’s death. When he had finally been released from the hospital weeks later, he’d made the trek alone to Chad’s grave site. Against doctors’ orders. But to hell with that. Chad had been the best buddy Talon had ever had. In fact, Chad had been family to Talon. Chad and Clary both. It stung like hell to have Chad ripped out of Talon’s life when Talon had been at his lowest ebb yet. Even lower than when he and Clary had broken up. Or maybe it was as low as that, just doubled. Regardless the total tally of those three huge stressors in his life was more than Talon could take, one on top of the other on top of yet more. If not for the remaining members of his unit, he’d feel very alone.
Talon had stood there at the grave, hating the waste of it all. For someone like Chad—healthy and vibrant, with such a great sense of humor, always pulling jokes on everyone, a ladies’ man, and yet, at the core, a good man—to have died like that, in a senseless accident, was a maddening event in and of itself. Chad was a fireman. He lived, ate, talked, slept that job. Talon laughed at the memory of Chad saying that all he had to do to get the ladies’ attentions was tell them he could cook or that he wore a uniform or to just show them the firemen’s calendar, sporting Chad as the Favored Fireman for February. Chad was one of the good guys—a hero.
Talon knew the two siblings had a hard time understanding their vagabond researching parents. To Talon, who had never had the stable home life that those two had, he thought their parents were great, idiosyncrasies and all. Those two didn’t know how good they had it. Yeah, their mom and dad had wanted both kids to attend college, to become botanists like them, but it just wasn’t meant to be.
Talon shook his head. What was it about families? They could be your greatest supporters or your worst critics. Sometimes both. Kind of like we can do to ourselves, what with the negative and positive self-talk going on in my own mind at times.
And there Talon was, after the land mine explosion he had miraculously lived through, thinking for the longest time that his own survival wasn’t worth all this pain and effort and expense. Missing an arm, missing a leg, he was so much less than he’d been before. Plus he felt a special responsibility that his other team members didn’t.
Talon had been driving the military transport truck with his unit all aboard and had driven over the buried antitank land mine.
He’d gone through the depths of depression, self-pity, and had come out on the other side, mended but still broken inside. Still dealing with nightmares. Still dealing with the trauma of so much he’d been through. Some things in life you just didn’t recover from overnight. Luckily he had had his unit around him, telling him to buck up and to get well soon. That they were waiting on him, slowly gathering in Santa Fe to be closer to the prosthetics designer. They encouraged Talon, goaded Talon, whatever it took to keep that flame of survival lit within him. Even while in excruciating pain themselves.
Even while the other six members of his unit were also going through their own trials by fire, their own personal hells with hospitals, surgeries, rehab—another word for torture—and more hospitals, surgeries, rehab, they had still been there for Talon. They took turns visiting his bedside, depending on who was feeling the best at the time and could travel between the various hospitals where some of their unit remained hospitalized.
Talon’s team members were his light at the end of a very long and very dark and very hazardous tunnel. No telling how many times each of them had died on the operating table. But Talon didn’t ask. He didn’t want to know. He was just happy they were still here with him. Then Talon had met Kat, and she had dangled the possibility of specially designed prosthetics to replace his arm and his lower leg. That became his goal. Get better so he could wear two of Kat’s incredible designs.
Talon had to wonder how his birth parents would have handled such an event. Hell, how would Chad and Clary’s parents have handled it? Not well, I suppose. He was again damn thankful for his unit. They were his true family.
And then his SEALs unit had realized that their military accident had been no accident. That their truck had been deliberately diverted to a new route, by a fake Corporal Shipley, based on falsified intel, where Talon’s team would drive over an antitank land mine buried just for them. Seven men horribly disfigured and maimed. And one of their own dead.
Talon knew evil existed. He couldn’t be in the military or experience any war and not see evil. But he also knew there was a lot of good in the world too. He wanted to believe there was good in everyone, but it was hard to see it in some people. And in the murderers, drug dealers, human traffickers … well, it was almost impossible.
To have Chad’s life cut short was just denying the world the other lives that Chad would have rescued from future fires. Just like cutting down Talon’s unit with that explosion would cost other people their lives down the road.
Talon was fighting to look ahead, to look forward. Yet, so far, life kept turning him around, pointing him to the past. Talon had wondered about that explosion himself over the last couple years, but he had shoved it off to the side. Yet it kept nagging him. After all, three military trucks were headed to one destination. So why did just the one truck—the one with Talon and his unit—get pulled off to another route because of last-minute intel?
Dealing with his own injuries, his own recovery, had been enough. Too much, in fact. Unlike his friend Badger, Talon hadn’t used the need for revenge to get himself back on his feet. But once he understood what Badger was doing, and the amount of thought he’d put into it, his reasoning and logic behind it, Talon hadn’t taken long getting on board.
That Norway trip with Cade and Laszlo had been a wake-up call in so many ways.
Cade had been blessed enough to meet somebody, a pilot who’d been in Norway dealing with her own trauma as her best friend had been in a car accident as well. But her friend was now out of a coma, and Faith and Cade were working their way through a relationship that held such promise. Talon was happy for his friend.
He’d pushed back on all steady relationships for many years. Long before the land mine incident, the love of his life had wanted more than Talon could give, so he’d walked away to let her have exactly what she said she wanted. She’d married, and he’d only recently learned she’d also divorced.
A hard hand slapped his shoulder. He turned and smiled at Laszlo who was accompanying him on this trip, telling him, “You never did give me an update on your father.”
Laszlo beamed. “The old man is pretty tough. He’s back home again with Jair. The two of them are living a quiet life at the moment.”
“Did you tell him the hit-and-run wasn’t an accident?”
“Yes, and he took it well, considering. One of Mason’s friends is a bodyguard in Norway. He’s moving in with my father and brother for a while, replacing the temporary help we had for them in the interim. The fact that Mason’s guy happens to love cooking is a big bonus. At least I can see both men eating now.”
“That will help.”
Talon had been one of the trio of men who had flown to Norway to Laszlo’s father’s home to sort out what exactly had happened after that hit-and-run. It had seemed like a bad accident perpetrated on a dark road at dusk with an old man who had left his hearing aid at home and who couldn’t have evaded the vehicle fast enough anyway. Only, in the light of day, it had been found to be a hit-and-run to hurt Laszlo. The now deceased John Smith had been hired to use an SUV and run down Laszlo’s father. But not the man who had hired Smith for this job and others. Therefore, everybody who could be on this unknown killer’s list, those still alive, needed security.
Which meant the family members and closest friends of the remaining seven former SEALs involved in the original land mine incident.
“What would we do without Mason and Levi?” Talon asked.
“We’d find someone. We’ve already got several of Bullard’s men pulled into play as well.”
Talon nodded. “It helps restore my faith in humanity. People aren’t all assholes, like this John Smith guy was.”
“At least we have his laptop and access to the hired gun’s emails and contacts. It could be much worse. It’s up to us to stay safe until we find another line to tug.”
“I’m still not sure I should be here in San Diego,” Talon said. “I know I owe it to Chad, but his case has already been closed. The police won’t reopen it just to confirm our latest findings, and I don’t know what benefit there is to letting Clary know what happened to him.”
“Wouldn’t you want to know?”
“Yes, but look who we are. She doesn’t live in our world. She’s a paralegal and probably sees a lot of the negative side of life. But do we have to bring it any closer to home?”
Laszlo shrugged. “When we discussed this before, you thought it was a good idea.”
“At the time I wasn’t standing less than ten minutes away from the woman I loved,” he admitted.
Laszlo chuckled. “Yeah, I can see how cold feet would get to you. Do you realize we’ve been standing here for at least ten minutes, and people are walking around us because we’re in the way?”
Startled, Talon twisted to look around, and, indeed, they were like an island with waves of water parting to wrap around them. He shrugged. “Let’s grab a vehicle.”
They headed to the airport rental office. Talon had ordered a Jeep Wrangler. It was pretty hard not to drive that vehicle, as it was, by far, his favorite. The day was warm and sunny. With Laszlo’s help, Talon took off the top. He hopped in with the paperwork in hand, turned on the engine, and slowly settled in to drive. They headed toward the center of town.
“Are we stopping anywhere else?” Laszlo asked. “I mean, Mason’s here. Maybe we should stop by?”
“We’ll see how it goes.” Talon shifted in his seat. “Damn, I do like these vehicles. I bought my first one when I was sixteen. My foster parents completely forbade me, but I bought it off the machine shop guy in high school. I worked off half of it and paid the rest with my part-time job. They had no say in the matter. But it was another huge bone of contention and another good reason to leave.”
“What did you do with it when you left for the military?”
“I kept it a while, for when I was on leave, but then, after I split up with Clary, I sold it. The clean break seemed like the best idea.”
“And how do you feel about that now?”
Talon decided not to answer.
After a few minutes of silence, Laszlo asked, “Did you let her know you were coming?”
Talon winced. “No. I deliberately didn’t.”
Laszlo checked his watch. “It’s a Saturday at eleven in the morning. Any idea where she’ll be?”
“She and her brother had a house they co-owned. Chad was living in it when she moved out to get married, I presume. I thought I’d check there first.”
“But it could have been sold after his death.”
“It could have been. But, considering her divorce and the death of her brother, both occurring at about the same time, I suspect she would have hung on to it.”
“Sentimental type?”
“Very. Her parents are in Europe most of the time. Her father is a botanist, studies plants. They own the house next door. With them gone so much of the year, it also makes sense that Clary would have retained ownership of her house. She can effectively oversee both. So it follows to check if somebody is there.”
They pulled into a Starbucks, each of them grabbing coffees for the road. Talon kept driving, finally hitting the outskirts, turning into a nice suburban area, noting that, after all this time, it looked more upscale than he remembered. New eyes, new perspective.
As he drove up to the place, no vehicle was parked in either driveway. He drove past, turned around, and parked on the opposite side of the street. First they went to Chad’s house and knocked. There was no answer. Then they went to the neighboring house, where Chad and Clary’s parents lived, and again there was no answer.
Talon turned to look at Laszlo and shrugged. “I guess it’s time to call her.”
“And chances are you’ll only be able to leave a message because who knows where she is.”
Laszlo was right. A quick phone call later had no benefit but to leave a message.
Laszlo glanced at him. “Where do you want to go now?”
“Chad’s grave,” he said quietly. “I visited it a month after his death a year ago, but I’d like to go back.”
They were a good twenty minutes away from the cemetery. He drove up the long winding road and parked at the lower end of the parking lot. “If my memory serves me correctly, his grave is at the bottom end.”
They got out and walked toward that area. It was a beautiful day and, outside of the reason for being here, it was a great place to be right now. Talon tilted his head toward the sun, letting the rays shine on his face. “Definitely nicer weather here,” he said.
Laszlo chuckled. “Sure beats Norway.”
It took a little bit of walking to find the place. But soon enough Talon stopped beside the family plot. Chad was buried beside his grandparents. Clary was supposed to be laid to rest beside him and their parents on either side.
Talon stood here for a long moment, his hands in his pockets. Laszlo stepped back and gave him some space. Talon appreciated that. Of all the men in his unit, Laszlo was the most sensitive to moods. It was tough. There was always something in these last couple years that would send Talon’s emotions off the wall. He tried hard, but it wasn’t the easiest.
After a few moments he could feel a great big breath wallop from his heart and chest. As he slowly exhaled, he felt some of the weight coming off his shoulders. “I’m so sorry, Chad. I thought, at the time, it was just life being a bitch. But now I realize it’s humanity that’s a bitch. Don’t you worry. We caught the bastard. Not in time for you, but, maybe by doing what we’ve done, we can stop more deaths.”
Aware of a presence beside him, Talon turned, expecting to see Laszlo. Instead a woman stared at him. Shock, anger, and pain were on her face.
“Talon?”
He hunched his shoulders, not only against the shock and accusation in her voice but also to ward off the pain of seeing her again. She had one of those baby-doll faces with curly blond ringlets and huge blue eyes. He’d been dumbstruck from the first time he had met her. He thought he’d done her a favor by walking away, and obviously she’d made good use of the time because she had quickly married. He was sorry it hadn’t worked out for her.
He nodded his head and said, “Hi, Clary.”
She motioned to her brother’s grave. “Why now?” Her voice was angry. “Why not a year ago when he actually died? A little too late, isn’t it?”
He took the blows, but they hit him at a visceral level. He could give her no excuses, as he had no intention of trying to explain. He turned to his side and motioned toward Laszlo. “I’m here with a friend of mine. Laszlo Jensen. This is Clary Witcher.”
She glanced over at Laszlo and gave a small head tilt of acknowledgment then zeroed back in on Talon. “That’s no excuse. You could’ve come any time in the last year.”
There was so much hurt in her voice, and he knew it had been a tough year for her. And he should have been here for her. Just like he would have loved it had she’d been there for him. But nobody outside his unit had been there for him because he hadn’t told anybody. Only somehow Chad had found out, and Talon wasn’t even sure how that had happened. Chad had lit into Talon at the hospital something fierce. But apparently Chad hadn’t told Clary about Talon’s condition. And, for that, Talon was glad that he had made Chad promise not to.
She was always the kind of person who brought home an abandoned kitty or a lost puppy. And he had no intention of being added to her collection. He didn’t say anything, just looked at her, drinking in her features so familiar and yet with just enough differences to make his heart ache. She’d had a tough couple of years, and she obviously wasn’t sleeping well. There were lines on her face, her color now filled with bright red flags of anger, but the rest of her skin was so white.
“I was just at your house, Chad’s house,” Talon said quietly. “Are you living there now?”
She shoved her fists into her pockets and rocked back on her heels. “What do you care?” She tossed her hair back, a motion she’d always used when she was pissed off.
He had been able to get her goat all the time. It had been part of the fun, watching her explode. But they’d been so much younger back then, foolish. He dropped his gaze to the grave. “I care.”
“It doesn’t seem like it.” She glanced again at Laszlo, held it for a moment.
Laszlo stepped forward and outstretched his hand. “It’s nice to meet you.”
She shook his hand stiffly. Faced Talon. “What were you saying to Chad when I arrived?”
He winced.
“Talon?” she said in a harder tone. She sensed something wrong, and her gut clenched with pain. “I heard you, but I didn’t really understand you.”
He turned to face her fully, and she saw the torment on his face. He really did care. She knew he did too. Talon and her brother had been friends since forever. Obviously Chad’s death would be a loss for him. She had no right to throw that in his face, but it was hard because she was hurting too.
“Why don’t we go for coffee somewhere and talk?”
She snorted. “You didn’t come all this way to see me, so why don’t you just tell me what you need to tell me, and we can part ways again.”
“Wow, you got nicer as you got older.”
She flushed, taking a direct hit. The trouble was, he was right. She hadn’t gotten nicer; she’d gotten more independent, harder, more protective, and more hurt.
It was Laszlo who said, “Maybe not a coffee shop. I know it’s an imposition, but possibly could we speak with you in your own home?”
She stared at him in surprise. “Why?”
“Because what we have to say should be said in private.”
Should she trust Laszlo? It was hard when he was with Talon. Yet he had never lied to her, but something about the previous years seemed like a lie no matter what. He should have returned. She’d waited until the truth hit her—Talon was never returning.
She thought about it for a long moment and then nodded. “I’ll meet you back at the house in ten minutes.”
“Ten minutes?” Laszlo asked.
She flashed a small smirk. “Okay, that’s just a figure of speech. It takes about twenty minutes, maybe longer. It depends on the traffic.” She saw the coffee cups in their hands. “I guess I can put on coffee when I get there.”
“Don’t do us any favors if your heart is not in it,” Talon said calmly.
But there was such a neutrality to his tone and in his expression, as if he expected something from her, and she hadn’t given it. Trouble was, she didn’t know if it was a hug or a slap that he thought he deserved. She knew which one she thought he deserved.
She turned and walked back to the parking lot. Inside her nerves and stomach twisted constantly. She didn’t know what she was supposed to do, but her hands shook so hard, as if she would never calm them down. Her heart hurt; tears threatened, but her world … It had shattered. Just when she thought nothing else could make her life any more bereft, Talon had to show up, standing in front of her, uncaring, unaffected, and completely disinterested.
Since when had life become such a bitch?