A dull headache woke me up as a hangover greeted me with a vengeance. I squinted and wished I would have had the sense to shut the blinds before passing out. Even though I delighted in coffee and desserts last night, I ignored the voice in my head advising to have water and a Tylenol before falling asleep. The rays of sun shot through my window and shone directly into my eyes.

My phone rang, the ringtone echoing from my bedroom. I trotted to my room and wondered who could be calling me so early.

"Hello?" I squeaked.

"Mommy!"

"Oh, Charlie, I miss you so much already! How are you?"

Suddenly, my head throbbed a little less, and my heart grew fuller.

"I'm good, Mom. We're going to the zoo today!"

"Isn't it a little cold for that?"

"It's okay. I'm going to wear a coat."

"And gloves?" I reminded him.

He groaned. "Yes, I'll wear my gloves."

"I don't want you to get sick, sweetheart. That's all."

"You worry too much," Charlie said. Now, I groaned. A little more of Cal peeked through Charlie with every visit.

"Well, have a good day and call me later. Okay?"

"Bye, Mom!"

"I love you—"

He hung up. Oh, well. At least he called, right?

Part of me wished I had enough motivation to go to the gym and sweat out the rest of the toxins in my body. But I craved a greasy breakfast. First, though, I needed a shower more than anything.

I turned on the hot water as high as it would go. I prided myself on being tolerant of a scalding shower. In fact, I didn't feel clean without taking one with lava-temperature water. I lathered my body with my organic vanilla body wash, closed my eyes and breathed in the scent.

I hadn't told anyone, not that I had someone to tell, but I hadn't slept with anyone since Cal and I divorced. I know, I know. Crazy, right? But, I barely had enough time for Charlie and myself, let alone another man. Not to mention, being a single mom rarely affords an opportunity to go on dates or have relationships.

While some of my Cal-inflicted wounds were healed, I wondered if I was ready to get back out there and try dating again, if I ever scrounged up the time. It would be satisfying to have some more adult conversations outside of work. And someone to go out to dinner with. I loved venturing out with Charlie, but a girl needs more than pizza and chicken wraps for a meal. Charlie was still too young to try anything more sophisticated, so I settled on adapting to his diet instead.

I wanted a man to pick me up from my apartment, take me to a new restaurant where he ordered a snazzy bottle of wine, and let me choose any meal on the menu. To some, that might sound shallow, but I firmly believe in allowing others to spoil you if given a chance. I don’t spoil myself often, so why not let another give it a try?

Thinking of men, I wondered where William was at this moment. Where did he go during the day? I decided I'd cruise around my office to see if I could spot him and ask him to join me for breakfast.

* * *

After several trips around the block, I was about to concede and go to breakfast by myself, but then I remembered dropping him off at the homeless shelter. Maybe he was still there?

I googled the address and drove over the shelter, which was located just outside the business district, bordering on the not-so-great part of town. Shattered glass littered the sidewalks, and several corner stores donned bars across their windows. I parked on the street right out front and made sure to lock my car.

I opened the shelter doors, and a foul stench greeted me. Inside, several volunteers chatted with the homeless men, women and children loitering around the giant hall with high, stretching ceilings. The place could use a few coats of paint and a good cleaning, but it was better than I expected. Across the room, accepting a hot cup of coffee in the line, stood William.

I strode over to him and cleared my throat to grab his attention.

“Hey!”

He looked over, glaring at me scathingly. “What are you doing here?”

“I was looking for you.”

“Why?” His voice rattled with impatience.

“I thought I’d see if you wanted to catch breakfast or something. Charlie is with his dad for the next few weeks.”

“Don’t you have work to do or something?

Ouch.

“Well, uh, probably,” I stuttered.

“I wish you wouldn’t have come here,” he said sourly.

“Why not?”

"You can't save me, Amelia. No one can.”

My heart ached for the man before me. What happened in his life to cause him to feel like this?

"I'm not trying to save you or use you. I just want to spend some time with you."

"Find another charity case, okay?"

A man with graying hair and bifocal glasses walked over to us. “Hi, can I help you?”

“Yes, actually. My name is Amelia Montgomery. I was hoping to volunteer here. Do you have any openings?”

The man grinned a toothy smile. “We always need more volunteers! Right, William?”

William sneered and walked away.

“Don’t worry about him,” the man said. “He’s always sort of broody.”

“I can see that.”

“Anyway, I’m Mark. Nice to meet you.” He extended his hand. “Are you new to town?”

“Mhmm. I’m a new partner at the law firm down the street.”

“Ross your boss?”

I nodded.

“Great man! Well, let me get you some paperwork, and we can get you all signed up.”

William eyed me from across the room, and I couldn’t help but wonder where his scathing stance came from. Last night, he seemed to open up a bit, but now he seemed as cold as ever.

Mark returned a few moments later with a few forms and an oversized t shirt with the shelter’s logo plastered across the front. “Sorry, we only have extra-large left.”

“I’m sure I’ll manage.” I smiled.

William watched me like a hawk while I filed out the requested forms. I finished and handed them to Mark. “Great! When can you start?”

“How about now?” I suggested.

“Wonderful!” He clapped his hands. “We need to fold up all the cots and gather the linens to wash. Mind helping with that?”

“Not at all.”

As requested, I folded the ruffled sheets across the thirty or so cots in the hall. I tried my best to stifle reactions to the soiled linens. Meanwhile, the rest of those in the shelter meandered out of the building somberly. It’s too bad they couldn’t stay, but I knew the building was used for other functions during the day.

William lingered by the exit as Mark thanked me again for my time. I promised I’d return once my scheduled allowed for it.

“Feel better?” William asked quietly as he leaned against the wall.

“What do you mean?” I narrowed my eyes.

“Now that you’ve helped the homeless and poor?” William said with a snarky tone. He crossed his arms across his body.

“Did I do something or say something to offend you last night?” I asked. I thought back to our time together the previous night. I thought we had a good time. Well, as good a time as a homeless man and a single mother can have while sipping coffee out in the cold.

“No, why?”

“You’re awfully salty today. I’m just trying to help, you know?” I shrugged.

William turned his back and opened the shelter doors. “Yeah, I know. Sorry,” he said over his shoulder. His face softened, then, just before he walked outside and let the door slam behind him.

After volunteering, I couldn’t bring myself to head back home. I drove to the waterfront a few blocks away and breathed a sigh of relief that I'd worn sneakers and a warm hoodie this morning. Seagulls filled the sky as the sun peeked through the clouds. The water reflected the sunlight and sparkled brilliantly. Families, couples, and singles roamed the path along the water. I'd have to bring Charlie here when he came home. He'd love to fly his kite here.

While I strolled along the smooth asphalt path, I spotted an elderly couple sitting on a bench, gazing at the water and holding hands. Would I ever have a love like that? Would I ever love again? Would I ever slow down working so much to even give myself the chance? I thought back to just a few days ago when I forgot to pick up Charlie from school because I was so involved with my research. What else was I sacrificing by slaving away at my desk?

The couple sat silently together; they didn't need to talk to enjoy each other's company. Isn't that the best kind of love? The love so rooted in your soul that just being in each other's presence is enough?

My heart ached with desire. The desire to be wanted. The desire to be cherished. The desire to never be taken for granted. However, I knew deep down, right now I didn’t have the time to find someone who could provide all of these things. Time, there’s never enough of it, is there?

I thought maybe I had a better chance of winning the lottery than ever falling in love again.