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We'll Begin Again by Laurèn Lee (28)

Amelia

William, Charlie and I were some of the last guests to leave the ballroom. Surprisingly, Charlie didn't slow down and out-danced even me! The kid had stamina, what could I say? Although it could have been the extra slice of cake I watched him sneak from another table. The mom in me wanted to scold him, but it was far too funny to watch as he looked behind both shoulders before he took the piece and devoured it within seconds.

William showed me his dance moves, which were far better than I pictured. Mostly, he made me laugh until I felt a new pair of abs shredding through. The most surprising event of the night, however, was when Cal asked to cut in and dance with me. I almost told him "no thanks" but decided to try and keep the peace instead.

"Are you having fun?" he asked shyly.

"You sure know how to throw a party. Have you done this before?" I teased.

"Ouch."

We both smiled.

"It's been a long time since we danced together,” I said.

"Sure has. Hey, listen, Amelia—"

“Yeah?”

William eyed us from the table, and I noticed a hint of jealousy in his serious glare. Would it make me a bad person if I liked seeing him a little jealous?

"I just want to say thank you for everything you're doing for Charlie. He seems to be happy at his new school."

"Well, it is my job."

"I know, but you're an amazing mom, and he's lucky to have someone who cares for him so deeply."

"Thanks, Cal. You're an okay dad, too. But you may want to tone down the 'tude around him, okay? He's starting to sound like a mini-you."

"You kiddin' me? His fire is all you!"

I rolled my eyes.

"We raised a pretty good kid, huh?" Cal asked.

We both glanced over to see Charlie slow-dancing with the flower girl. Even though I secretly knew my son was terrified of catching cooties from a girl, it was beyond adorable to see him with his hands on her hips and a broad smile spread across his face.

"We sure did."

Silence took over the conversation as we swayed awkwardly to the music.

"So, I wanted to tell you something."

"Oh, boy. Here we go.”

"Angela is pregnant."

"Already?"

Cal blushed, and I honestly can't remember a time I saw such a blissful look on his face. Maybe when I told him I was pregnant all those years ago.

"I'm very happy for you," I said evenly.

"I just wanted to let you know before I told Charlie."

"Thank you. I appreciate it."

"So, what's going on with you and that guy?” He asked casually, but I sensed a sourness in his tone.

"His name is William." I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, him." Cal smiled, and I realized he enjoyed taunting me. What a surprise.

"He makes me happy," I admitted.

"Treating you well?"

“Very. We’re good together.”

Cal ignored my jab. "Is he good with Charlie?"

"Treats him like a son."

Cal winced. "Well, that's good."

William strode over to us as the song was winding down. "May I cut back in?"

Cal breathed a sigh of relief. "Sure, man."

My ex-husband squeezed my hand, and with a quick smile, he walked back over to his blushing bride, who waved to me. I waved back. Angela wasn't so bad, and she did make a damn gorgeous bride.

"What was that all about?" William asked.

"Just a friendly chat among ex-partners." I laughed.

William shook his head and spun me around as a new pop hit blasted from the speakers.

By the end of the night, I had to drag Charlie off the dance floor and back to our room. Charlie and I slept in one of the beds while William took ownership of the other. Before we drifted off to sleep, though, William kissed us both goodnight. I fell fast asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow and slept better than I had in a very long time.

* * *

Cal and Angela invited us all to join them for a family breakfast the following day. I declined. Even though it turned out to be a beautiful wedding, one night with my ex and his new wife was enough for me.

Reluctantly, William, Charlie and I packed our bags and checked out of the beautiful hotel. I didn't want to leave, but I also couldn't wait to go home. William offered to drive the way back, for which I felt eternally grateful. I may have had one too many glasses of champagne after dinner, and my head throbbed painfully.

The drive home seemed longer than the drive to the hotel, which made me all the more anxious to be home. About halfway through our drive, we stopped for gas and a quick bite to eat. Charlie and I stood in line for pizza while William waited in the Mexican line. If only all gas stations were as fancy as this one, I thought.

Charlie rehashed the previous night and how fun it'd been to dance with Hallie, the flower girl. He blushed when I asked if he had a crush on her.

"No way, Mom! That's gross!"

I ruffled his hair and smiled.

A phone rang loudly and echoed throughout the eating area. I turned to see William answer the call, his face as white as a ghost. My stomach dropped as William's eyes grew, and he used his free hand to touch his forehead in distress. I wanted to go over to him to see what was the matter, but I also didn't want to leave Charlie in line by himself.

I anxiously waited to catch William's attention as tears streamed down his face.

Screw it.

I grasped Charlie's hand, and we exited the line.

"What's wrong with William, Mommy?"

"I don't know, sweetie."

William turned to see us walking swiftly toward him, and he shook his head. Tears glistened in his eyes, and I couldn't imagine who could be on the other end of the phone call.

Charlie tugged on my coat. "Hold on, Charlie."

We stood awkwardly in the middle of the gas station while William crumbled into a chair. I gave Charlie a wrinkled twenty dollar bill from my purse, instructing him to go pick out a handful of snacks for the ride home and to hurry.

William ended the phone call and sat with his head in his hands. Tension mounted as I lightly put my hand on his shoulder. He jumped at my touch.

"What's going on?"

"We have to go. I can't be here."

"Tell me, what is it?"

"I can't talk about it right now. We have to go."

He strode out of the gas station and jumped into the driver's seat of my car. My heart ached for him. I'd never seen him so distressed or shaken up. I collected Charlie from the register, and we returned to the car as well.

We drove in silence the rest of the way back home, but the lack of conversation was deafening. Even Charlie knew something was wrong and stared out of the window quietly. He didn't even play his game. All the horrible scenarios ran through my head during the ride. Did someone die? Did someone he knows get hurt? Was there an accident at the halfway house? My heart thudded in my chest. I reached to touch his hand with mine, but he pulled away. His desire not to be touched stung. I wanted to be there for him, to comfort him as he'd done for me during my dark time.

William parked the car outside the halfway house, grabbed his bags and headed toward the building. He didn't say goodbye. Charlie and I looked to each other in confusion.

"Is William okay, Mama?"

"I don't know."

I realized this was one of those times I needed to give William his space despite the desperation in my soul to go to him and help him through whatever’d just happened.

Charlie and I arrived home, less than thrilled to be here. Our vacation was over and devastation awaited our arrival. I couldn’t stop thinking about William and the haunted expression he bore after answering the phone.

I swallowed forcefully and dialed his number.

"William?"

Sobs echoed through the phone.

"What's wrong? Are you okay? Talk to me!"

"He's dead! He's dead! Oh my, God, he's dead!" he lamented.

I wasn’t sure who he referred to, but the sound of William’s shattered heart erupting through the phone was breaking mine.

As I opened my mouth to ask who passed away, the dial tone pinged in my ear.

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