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We'll Begin Again by Laurèn Lee (31)

Amelia

After we left the rescue with a very skittish dog in tow, Charlie and I drove to the pet store to buy Bart food, a bed, a handful of toys, and other canine essentials. With every passing minute, Bart grew a little less frightened and more rambunctious and curious. The pet store near my apartment offered a service dog training session, too. It seemed all the puzzle pieces were falling into place, and for once, fate was on my side.

Bart sported a fancy new camouflage collar and an official service dog tag and vest in case William wanted to take him out of the apartment. I still hadn't figured out who would take care of Bart while William and I were at work, but I was sure we'd figure it out one way or another.

Charlie and I ran a few more errands until the sun set, and my mind wandered and wondered where William could be. I hoped the day proved to be a breath of fresh air, and he found the solace he desperately needed. I also hoped he wouldn't be angry with me that I took it upon myself to adopt an emotional support dog for him.

Although, as I looked at Bart’s loving demeanor and puppy dog face in the rearview mirror, I knew there'd be no way William could be anything less than over the moon.

Once we parked outside the halfway house, I told Charlie he was in charge of Bart, while I carried as much of the supplies as I could hold. Butterflies wrestled in my stomach as we knocked on the front door.

Luckily, William happened to open the door.

"We got you a dog!" Charlie shouted.

Without notice, Bart leapt into William’s arms. William's eyes widened, and for a moment, I thought it was fear, but after a second or two, his mouth dropped in awe.

"What's going on?" he asked me, aghast.

"So, um, surprise?" I said shyly.

Bart licked William's face and nuzzled into his neck. He couldn't have weighed more than thirty pounds, and William held him easily in his arms.

"His name is Bart!" Charlie said proudly. "He's your support dog.”

"Amelia, is the dog really for me?"

I nodded. William looked from Bart to me and back again. A single tear fell from his cheek, and he snuggled the dog like his child.

"I can't believe this! He's amazing!"

"So, you like him?" I asked as I bit my lip.

"No, I love him! I can't believe you did this for me."

"I'd do anything for you," I whispered in his ear.

William kissed my cheek and set Bart down to explore his new home. He romped around and smelled every square inch of the house. Charlie followed him around, giggling delightedly when Bart licked his face. The other residents peeked around the corner, and smiles soon plastered across their faces too.

"I feel it, Amelia," William said with hope in his voice.

"What's that?"

"Things are going to get better for me, and for us."

"I think so, too." I smiled warmly.

"I think you’re right."

“About what?”

“I think maybe, just maybe, I deserve a second chance. I’ve dwelled so long on the hardships of my life, but I don’t want to do that anymore. I want to try and focus on the future. I owe it to those I’ve lost to give it a try.”

As I stared into his eyes, feeling the love emanating from his smile, I knew this was real. We could be real. For every night I cried myself to sleep, for every time I thought I'd end up alone, for every day I watched other couples in love, I never thought I'd find happiness again too. All the doubt, worries, and fear were washed away with the coming of a new tide. William was the moon, and I, the ocean, drawn to each other beyond all measure.

* * *

As the weeks passed, my little family grew tighter than ever. While William kept his room at the halfway house, he stopped by my apartment almost daily. His meds seemed to be working, and he returned to work. He saw a counselor a couple times a week, and I could tell, deep down, his heart was carefully being restored. I figured it was time to talk to Charlie, and also to Cal, about the seriousness of our relationship.

One night, William escorted me to a quaint Italian restaurant for dinner. I knew it must be a special occasion—William wasn’t always so comfortable in public places. We spent the evening laughing, telling stories from our youth, and making plans for the future. At the end of the night, William and I walked under the night sky, the stars illuminating our path.

“I love you, Amelia. No matter what happens, I want you to know how much I care about you and Charlie.”

We paused in the middle of the street. The light turned red, but I didn’t care. I pulled him into my arms and kissed him, wanting him to feel the love I carried for him.

I looked deeply into his eyes and uttered the only three words I could muster that could even begin to encapsulate my feelings for him. “I love you,” I said.

Despite our troubled pasts, we found a way to start fresh with each other. We maneuvered this cruel world, finding solace in one another. I loved him madly, and I knew he felt the same. Who knew the unlikely pair who fumbled for things to talk about as they sipped coffee on a bench so many nights ago would fall deeply in love? I never expected to, and yet here we were, kissing under the moon in the middle of the road.

Not surprisingly, the talk with Charlie went far smoother than when I spoke with Cal. My ex-husband worried I was rushing into something and it would not be beneficial for Charlie to have William around so often. I wanted to remind him he married the woman he cheated on me with and left his family for, but I held my tongue.

"Cal, this is my decision. I've talked to Charlie about it, and he's fine with me and William being together. I am not asking for your permission, but extending the courtesy of keeping you in the loop."

William overheard me speaking with Cal and promptly took the phone despite my protests.

Of course, that shut Cal up right away. I mean, what man in his right mind would challenge an Army vet? Not many.

Even though everything seemed to be falling into place, I could sense something still bothered William. Throughout therapy and having Bart around, I noticed drastic differences in his demeanor, including sharing a lot more and talking about past wounds. However, I sensed he still held something back.

"Babe?" I asked one night after I switched the TV off.

"Yeah?"

"Everything okay?"

"Of course. Why?"

"I just feel like something's off, like there's something you're not telling me."

"Oh," he said flatly.

I held my breath, hoping I didn't scare him away. Even though his communication skills had increased tenfold, he was still a man, after all.

"There is something on my mind," he said.

"Tell me." I drew circles with my fingernail on his forearm, attempting to soothe him into submission.

"I do like my job at the law firm, but I think there's another path for me."

"Are you going to quit?" I asked nervously.

"No, no. But, there's something else I want to do, too."

"What's that?"

"I want to create a place for guys like me," he whispered. "When I was on the streets, lost and lonely, I had nowhere to go. Sure, I had the homeless shelter, but...I had no one to talk to. Nothing to do. I wanted to better myself, but I didn't have the tools or resources."

"Mhmm. That makes sense. What are you thinking?"

"I want to open a place for vets or the homeless, or anyone who needs help, a place they’d feel safe going to. There could be games like darts or pool, a place to hang out or talk to people. I think it would help others and give me the purpose I've always felt I needed."

"That's an amazing idea, babe. I think you should do it!"

"You think so?"

"Absolutely. We should start looking for space as soon as possible."

"We?" William asked curiously.

"I’d like to help, too, if that’s all right with you?”

"You'd help me?"

"I'd help you move a mountain if I could."

"All right. Let's do it," William said with inspiration oozing from his voice.

"I wanna make it right, Amelia. I need to do some good in this world. I want to make my dad proud. Hell, I want to make my mom, Spence and Hudson proud, too. I owe it to them to do something important."

"I understand, babe. And, don't worry—after we're done, they're going to make you a goddamn saint."