“Are you ready Ki?” Glancing at her, I can see she’s nervous and I can’t help wondering if she’s not happy to go home, or if she’s just going to miss us. My heart wants the latter, but for some reason I know it’s about her family. Granted, she’s never spoken about them much, all I know is that her mom passed away years ago and she grew up with her dad playing the part of both parents.
“Yes, I just need to check on Tay before we leave.” She leaves me with a shy smile and heads to the office. Since Tayla fell pregnant, Callum has been watching her like a hawk, it’s sweet, but I can tell that she’s had enough. She’s going to be taking over Kierra’s job for a while, handling the admin for the band, but we can all see she’s bored out of her mind.
My best friend’s wife is a doer, she needs to be active, running around after the crew, making sure the sound techs are doing what they need to. For her to sit idle in front of a computer screen must be driving her stir crazy.
“You going to tell her, man?” Turning to find Liam, I nod. We’ve had this discussion, he knows how I feel and has been pushing me to make my move for years, but each time I try, she pushes back. I wanted to respect her feelings, to allow her time, but this is where it ends because she’s mine. “There’s no time like the present, brother.” He chuckles leaving me glaring at his back.
Since Emma agreed to marry him, he thinks he knows everything about relationships. When I turn back to Kierra, I can’t help but agree with him. There is no time like the present and today that woman is going to know exactly how I feel.
When she steps up to me, the scent of her perfume engulfs me, dragging me into her orbit. It’s as if she’s already a part of me, inside my bloodstream, keeping my heart pumping. “I’m ready,” she murmurs quietly, she’s normally feisty, but at the moment, her body is tense and all I want to do is take her to the music room and slide into her, easing the tension from her body.
Grabbing my keys, I glance at the entrance to the kitchen. “Be back in a bit,” I holler and Liam gives me a salute as he sips his coffee. Other than that he offers me nothing more. There’s not much to say, I slept with my best friend, I’ve seen her naked and the vision is ingrained in my mind. I’ve loved her for as long as I’ve known her. Fear has always been something that’s held me back. With my music. With her.
Following Ki up the stairs to my Range Rover, I push the button on the key fob to unlock the car. She’s been in my passenger seat so many times, but somehow this feels different. It is.
I lug her suitcase into the trunk and round the car. Once I’m in the driver’s seat, I glance at her. There’s so much emotion in her eyes I want to lean in and claim her lips, but she asked for friendship, which I’m giving her, for now. When we arrived back from Callum and Tay’s wedding, she told me she couldn’t promise me forever. I thought right then that we were over, but all she said was she needed time. I could give her time, but eventually, that will run out then she’ll no longer be able to hide behind those high walls she’s put up.
That night, I went to bed and my heart hurt, it was a physical ache that I never want to feel again.
With Liam’s help, I’ve got a plan. We’ve set up all my tracks over the past few weeks and I’m not needed for a while, which leaves me with much needed time off. And what Ki doesn’t know is that as soon as our last show is over, I’ll be following her stubborn ass. She needs support and I’m going to give it to her.
Since she refused using Callum’s offer of the jet, she’s booked in first class on a flight that will take her far from Los Angeles, but I’ll be right behind her. One month. That’s all the time she’s getting. Even though it’s going to kill me, I’ll respect her wishes for time. After that month is up, I’m going to get her. I don’t care what she says.
If I told her I wanted to accompany her, she’d refuse, so I’m having to do it this way. I’m done sitting back watching her from the sidelines. She’s mine, and I’m going to lay my claim. This woman will be bound to me for life.
She’ll wear my ring, take my name, and be mine forever.
Whatever she’s hiding, she should realize I’m not leaving, not walking away.
I know I love her, I’ve known it for a long time and to have her up and leave is not an option. “Are you looking forward to going home and seeing your dad?” I question as we weave through the traffic.
“I suppose so, there’s not much there for me anymore, but there are things I need to…” Shaking her head as if ridding it of a bad memory, she continues, “there’s unfinished business that I need to get through and my father is going to help me. He’s…” She cuts a glance to me and I can feel her stare burning into the side of my face with an intensity of a flame. Whenever she looks at me I feel every emotion she’s trying to convey. I wonder if she realizes that we have such an innate connection.
“He’s?”
“Nothing. I will be back soon. Things will be easier once I’ve done this,” she whispers on a sigh and everything in my head screams at me to stop the car and force her to tell me. But Kierra isn’t a push over. She’s a stubborn woman and if I so much as show any forcefulness for her to give more than she’s willing, she’ll shut down even more.
Dragging my gaze to hers, I find sadness marring her beautiful face. Her wavy hair hangs over her shoulders, it’s a rich chocolate with golden highlights. She had it done for the wedding and I love how the lush color shimmers when she shakes her head, or the light catches it just right. Her normally teal eyes shine with a soft gray-blue today and it looks like the sky on a cloudy day.
Her lips are soft, plump, and glossy. She doesn’t wear make-up, but she dabs a shimmery gloss on them which makes them look like edible candies. And God knows I’d love to taste them again. “What will be easier, Ki? Me and you?”
The eagerness in my voice doesn’t go unnoticed.
“Ryan—”
“Sorry, I just thought—” I wave my hand, but she interrupts me.
“It’s okay, I don’t want to promise you something that I may not be able to keep.” It’s in that moment I know how it feels to have your heart ripped from your chest. Because her words do just that. They settle with a heaviness in the car and I swallow the lump in my throat.
A woman has never made me cry.
A woman has never made me beg.
And a woman has never made me love.
But she has and since we’ve finally had our one night, she’s leaving, and fear tugs at me that she may never come back. That is the one thing that I know would destroy me. Because as soon as she boards that flight, she’ll be taking my heart along with her. And I know, I have no choice in the matter, because she owns me. She has ever since I first laid eyes on her.
We drive in silence because I can’t say more. The lump in my throat threatens to suffocate me. Choking me, cutting off all the air, the same air that’s thick with emotion so malevolent it’s like a force swirling around us.
When people tell you love is dangerous, they’re not lying. Love hurts, but deep down, I’m not giving up on her, so the pain will only last so long. Once I’m in Australia with her, she’ll forget everything that’s ever hurt her, she’ll know I’m serious. And that’s what I’m vying for.