‘Great, Annette will be pleased,’ Jodie said, switching off her phone and turning to Ben. ‘Tina is coming for the wedding. No plus one sadly.’
As she went to place the phone down on the kitchen table it beeped as a text came in. She swore softly under her breath as she read the message. Ben glanced at her curiously.
‘Having plucked up the courage to talk to Travis, I left a message on his phone earlier.’ Jodie sighed. ‘He thanks me for getting in touch but he’s sorry, he’s currently up in the mountains visiting his friend. He’ll be in touch to arrange a meeting sometime when he gets back. ‘
‘At least the two of you are in contact,’ Ben said.
Jodie sighed. ‘Now I’ve decided to talk to him I didn’t want to wait. He doesn’t even say how long he’ll be away. I was hoping to see him tomorrow or the next day at the latest. I want to get it over and done with. It’s not something I’m looking forward to.’
‘We’ve got a lot to do to straighten the house out over the next few days,’ Ben said. ‘You would have struggled to fit a meeting in, so it’s probably for the best. Especially as you haven’t been well recently.’
Jodie sighed. ‘You’re right about there being a lot to do in the house.’
‘I can help a bit and I know Mama would help if you don’t feel up to tackling things on your own,’ Ben said.
‘I’m fine, a bit tired but I’m feeling better again this morning. Staying busy will keep my mind off all things Australian,’ Jodie said. ‘And having the house look more like home with everything unpacked and put away will be good.’
Two days later the house was beginning to look like the home Jodie envisaged it being. There was a lot to do yet, of course, including decorating their bedroom and giving the main bathroom a makeover, but essentially they were putting their own mark on it with their favourite things.
When her phone rang Jodie picked it up quickly, hoping it was Travis saying he’d returned early and arranging a definite day and time to meet. But it was Annette.
‘How’s the settling in coming on? Looking forward to having a break from it tomorrow?’
‘Break from it?’ Jodie said, puzzled.
‘We’d arranged to go wedding dress shopping tomorrow? The day is getting closer and I haven’t found anything to wear yet. I know I’m having a low-key affair this time around, but I do rather want something special to wear,’ Annette said. ‘We need to find something for you too.’
‘I’d forgotten all about our shopping date,’ Jodie confessed. ‘But yes, I’m fine for tomorrow.’
‘Good. I’ll pick you up at nine and we’ll head down to the coast.’
Switching the phone off, Jodie turned to Ben. ‘I’d forgotten I’d agreed to go shopping with Annette this week. Would you like to have a day off from sorting things here and come with us? Help me choose an outfit for the wedding?’
Ben instantly shook his head. ‘Are you joking? I find my mother a nightmare to go shopping with.’ He glanced at Jodie. ‘You’ll have fun, but me? I’ll stay here and enjoy the peace. Might even get some writing done.’
‘Don’t you need anything new for the wedding? Suit? Shirt? Tie? Shoes?’
‘No. I’ve got the suit I bought for our wedding, which I haven’t worn since, so it’s virtually new. Might buy a new tie for the occasion, though. Plenty of time to find one locally before the big day.’
Jodie laughed. ‘I’ll buy you one tomorrow. And you do realise the wedding is less than two weeks away?’
After the wedding dress shopping trip with Annette was out of the way, life began to settle down into a routine at the new house over the next few days. Ben disappeared into his study as usual in the mornings, and Jodie walked Tess and did some housework before switching on her laptop and starting to catch up with the agency work she’d neglected because of the virus and the move.
Two days before Annette and Thierry’s wedding Jodie took a deep breath and decided it was time to turn her attention to her mother’s boxes of papers. She couldn’t keep putting it off. Maybe she’d discover something that explained Jacqueline’s lies – something she could defend her to Travis with. Though why she should feel the need to defend her mother to Travis she wasn’t sure.
Lifting the lid off the first box, she saw the envelope that had contained the Decree Absolute on top. She took it out and carefully laid it to one side as she started to investigate the rest of the contents.
After jumping twice when her phone rang, hoping it was Travis ringing to arrange a meeting, only to be disappointed each time by cold callers trying to sell her something, Jodie switched the phone off and concentrated on going through things methodically.
Documents relating to her maternal grandparents, her own birth certificate, a baby and toddler record diary – the entries in which stopped abruptly six months after her third birthday. But tucked into the back cover of the diary was a small envelope with her name written on it, a piece of paper folded inside. Jodie drew it out with shaking fingers. A letter from her mother – dated one month before her death.
My darling Jodie, writing this letter to you is one of the most cowardly things I have ever done in my life and I can only beg your forgiveness.
My first cowardly act was not going to Australia with your father. He was the love of my life and yet I allowed him to walk away from me and denied you the right to know the father who loved you, because I was too afraid to take a chance and live a different life.
Writing this letter is the coward’s way out of not being able to tell you the truth face to face and having to watch your reaction to me when you learn the truth. I know you will have lots of questions. I should have told you years ago that your father was alive and well and living on the opposite side of the world. Given you the chance to connect with him. But I was too scared – I convinced myself I’d left it too late and telling you the truth would only upset you and make you hate me. Something I can’t bear the thought of.
I’m still not sure when I shall be brave enough to actually give you this letter but I do know you deserve to be told the truth – at whatever cost to me. I promise once I’ve given you this letter we will finally talk and I’ll answer your questions honestly.
There has been no contact between your father and myself for several years. When he left, I said that I would tell you the truth when you grew up and I made him promise he would wait for you to contact him. I’m more ashamed than I can ever tell you that I never kept my word to talk to you. Now you know the truth I’m sure he would be delighted to hear from you – his most recent address is in my address book.
Please forgive me, my darling daughter.
Your loving mother. xxxx
Jodie blinked hard in an effort to stop the tears that were beginning to flow. Her mother HAD been going to tell her the truth before she died. If the accident had never happened, if she’d sorted through the paperwork in the boxes earlier, instead of shoving them away and ignoring the contents, she would have known the truth before Travis. It could have been her going to Australia to find her father who, three years ago, would still have been alive.
Fumbling in her pocket for a tissue, Jodie wiped her tears, blew her nose and tried to compose herself. Thinking ‘if only’ thoughts wasn’t going to change anything. The truth had to be acknowledged, accepted and lived with.
When her phone pinged with a text from Nicola asking her to call into The Taste of the Countryside as soon as possible as there were a couple of things to discuss for the promo for the village Christmas fete, she grabbed the opportunity to get out of the house for a while. Anything to stop her thoughts whirling around uselessly.
Nicola, busy rearranging a display of pottery when she arrived, was pleased to see her.
‘Hi. Thanks for coming down so quickly. Gilles wants your opinion on these ideas,’ she added, picking up a folder of papers.
‘I needed to get out of the house,’ Jodie said, taking the folder. ‘Long story but there’s stuff coming out of the woodwork I’m having trouble dealing with.’
Nicola looked at her anxiously when Jodie shrugged.
‘I’ll tell you about it when everything has settled.’
‘OK,’ Nicola said. ‘So long as you’re sure you’re all right. Virus all gone? You still look a bit peaky. Not doing too much too soon, are you?’
‘I’m fine,’ Jodie assured her. ‘Definitely over the bug.’
‘When Annette said you were being sick at all times of the day, we did wonder whether it was a case of “new house, new baby” rather than a virus,’ Nicola said.
‘Never heard that expression before,’ Jodie said, laughing. ‘I’m definitely not…’ She stopped and stared at Nicola. She couldn’t be. Could she?
‘Ohmygod. It didn’t occur to me it could be anything other than a virus. I’m on the pill.’ The pill she’d run out of and had had to wait two days for the pharmacy to order because they didn’t have her particular brand, the voice in her head said. It had only been two days, after all, and Ben was busy and tired every night so it wouldn’t be a problem. Only he hadn’t been tired one of those nights, had he?
Nicola smiled at her. ‘Maybe call in at the pharmacy on your way home and pick up a test. Just to reassure yourself.’
‘Good idea. Actually, I think I’ll go now,’ Jodie said, turning to leave.
‘Don’t forget to let me know the result,’ Nicola called after her.
Ben was waiting for her when Jodie arrived home, a worried look on his face.
‘Where have you been? You didn’t say you were going out.’
‘Sorry. Nicola rang and I left in a hurry. And right now I need the bathroom.’ As Jodie went to rush past him, Ben stopped her.
‘Travis came.’
‘He did?’
‘I’ve asked him to come for lunch after Mama’s wedding,’ Ben said. ‘Is that OK? There’s a lot to do this week and to be honest I didn’t want you getting upset so close to the big day.’
‘After is better, I think,’ Jodie said absently. ‘Can you put the actual day on the calendar, please?’
‘Are you all right?’ Ben asked. ‘You seem a bit vague.’
‘I’m fine but I really do need the loo.’ And Jodie disappeared in the direction of the bathroom, leaving a worried Ben staring after her.