It was a week before Luc got back in touch with Tina to rearrange their meeting. A week in which Tina tried her utmost to concentrate on work and put Luc out of her mind. Something that was relatively easy during the day, even when she had to email him about his book. She was strict with herself on those occasions, muttering ‘he’s just another client’ under her breath as she typed. It was the evenings that were tough, when her thoughts strayed constantly to where he was, what he was doing, what the latest problem had been.
The text he sent this time gave her very short notice. Meet me in the café in the park near you at five? It was gone half past four when the text arrived – which presumably meant there was little chance of this meeting being cancelled. Which was good. But what if she’d been busy? Even as the thought crossed her mind, Tina dismissed it, knowing nothing would have stopped her getting to the park to meet Luc.
Running through the damp streets and dodging the Christmas shopping crowds, Tina reached the wrought-iron gates of the park and slowed down to catch her breath. The flashing fairy lights around the windows of the café situated in the old gatehouse at the entrance beckoned her in and she pushed the door open.
Inside, a few of the tables were occupied but there was no sign of Luc. Tina ordered a hot chocolate and pulled out a chair at a vacant table by the far wall from where she could people-watch and wait for him to arrive. The atmosphere in the café was lovely and Christmassy, with the tree and background noise of carols playing, and reminded Tina how close Christmas in fact was. She hadn’t even bought a packet of cards yet, let alone thought about presents for people. Pulling a notebook and pen out of her bag she decided to make a start on a Christmas to-do list while she waited. She was so absorbed in her task she didn’t see Luc arrive.
‘Hi, Tina.’
Startled, Tina looked up. ‘Hi. Sorry, I didn’t see you come in.’ To her surprise there was a small girl holding Luc’s hand and smiling at her.
‘Hello. I’m Penny. I’m pleased to meet you.’
Tina gulped. A very grown-up little girl. ‘Hello, Penny. I’m pleased to meet you too.’ She gave Luc a questioning look.
‘My daughter,’ he said briefly before turning to Penny. ‘Hot chocolate and a flapjack for you, princess?’
‘A cupcake?’ Penny said hopefully, but Luc shook his head. ‘Another hot chocolate for you?’ he said, looking at Tina.
She shook her head. ‘No thanks. Wouldn’t mind a flapjack, though.’ The sugar would help calm the shock she was feeling. Ex-wives were one thing, but a child?
Penny pulled out a chair and clambered up on it while Luc went to the counter to order their drinks. ‘What are you writing?’
‘A list of all the things I have to do for Christmas. Have you written to Father Christmas yet?’
‘No. Daddy says he’ll take me to see him in his grotto at the zoo this weekend so I can tell him exactly what I want.’
‘Good idea,’ Tina said. ‘But you could write to him as well. It’s always a good idea to have a backup plan. Would you like a piece of paper?’
Penny nodded eagerly. ‘But what do I do with the letter?’
‘Send it to him, of course.’ Tina leant in and whispered, ‘I still have his address from when I used to write to him.’ She handed Penny her pen. ‘Off you go.’
Luc, setting the tray down on the table, glanced at Penny, who, intent on doing her best writing, ignored him. ‘You’re busy. Who are you writing to?’
‘Father Christmas. Tina has his address,’ Penny said without looking up. ‘It’s a backup plan in case he forgets after I’ve seen him in his grotto. He can check the letter and it will remind him.’
‘OK. Good idea.’
Luc passed a flapjack to Tina. ‘So how was France?’ he asked quietly.
‘France was good. Would have been even better if you’d been there,’ Tina said.
‘I’m sorry I wasn’t,’ Luc said.
‘Can I go to France one day?’ Penny said, not looking at them but obviously earwigging on their conversation.
‘One day perhaps,’ Luc said, turning to look at Tina.
‘I’m sorry, too, about last week, but this one was ill,’ he said, nodding his head in Penny’s direction.
‘She lives with you?’
‘And Nonna and Grampy,’ Penny said.
Luc grimaced. ‘Look, we can’t talk now but can I come round later this evening?’ he said, keeping his voice low. ‘I wanted you to meet Penny before I… before I explained things.’
Tina nodded and mouthed the words, ‘After eight?’
‘I’ve done it,’ Penny said, putting the pen down. ‘Now what do I do with it?’ She looked at Tina expectantly.
‘Daddy will find you an envelope when you get home and you post it,’ Tina said. ‘Don’t worry, I’ll make sure he knows the address.’
Penny rewarded her with a beaming smile. ‘Will you come to the grotto at the weekend with us?’
‘I’m not sure,’ Tina said. ‘I might be busy but if I can I will,’ she added, seeing the disappointment on the little girl’s face. She couldn’t tell her it all depended on the talk Luc was planning to have with her tonight. ‘But I’m sure I’ll see you again.’
Luc gave her a quick look before standing up. ‘Time to go. Say goodbye to Tina.’
‘Bye, Tina. Don’t forget to give Daddy Father Christmas’s address.’
Outside the café, Luc and Penny turned left while Tina crossed the road to the small supermarket. There wasn’t any wine in the flat and she had the feeling that tonight she was going to need a glass or two.
Tina was on autopilot when she got back to the flat, her thoughts going round and round in a veritable whirlwind, thinking about Luc and Penny. Why had she never considered he had a child?
She opened the red wine to let it breathe while she put the rest of the shopping away – she’d bought some cheese, ham, salad, a baguette and a quiche in case Luc wanted to eat. A quick tidy of the sitting room and she poured herself a small glass of the wine and sank down onto the settee.
She’d guess that Penny was about six years old and Luc clearly adored her. Who was the mother – and where was she? Did Luc have full custody? Was Luc still married? Did they all meet up at the weekends and play happy families – is that why weekends were so difficult? Why did they live with his parents? So many questions.
Luc, when he arrived, was subdued and tense. He accepted the glass of red wine Tina poured for him gratefully and swallowed a couple of mouthfuls before sitting on the settee. ‘Mmm, nice.’
‘Would you like something to eat?’ Tina said.
Luc shook his head. ‘Maybe after we’ve talked.’
Tina waited while he took another drink before placing the glass on the table and turning to face her and taking hold of her hand.
‘Penny’s a lovely little girl,’ Tina said.
Luc smiled. ‘She has her moments but she is the centre of my life these days.’
‘What about her mother?’
Luc sighed. ‘I hope you’re ready for this. I met Penny’s mother, Annie, at a fundraising event eight years ago when she worked for a large charity. It was her first job after leaving university and she was passionate about helping people in poorer countries. In fact, passion could have been her middle name – everything she did was done with one hundred per cent enthusiasm.’ Luc smiled. ‘She truly believed she could make a difference – and she did in many cases. And she was so full of fun and vitality. I was smitten with her from the word go.’
‘She sounds an amazing person,’ Tina said, her heart sinking. It sounded as though he still loved Annie.
‘She was. Mind, she was far from perfect. She could be moody and I’ve yet to meet anyone as untidy as her – although Penny is shaping up well in that department.’ Luc picked up his glass and finished his wine.
‘So, we moved in together and life was good. I was working in the City earning good money, Annie worked hard for her charity, we had a great social life. Then Annie fell pregnant. I was over the moon and immediately began to make plans for getting married and buying a house with three or four bedrooms and a garden, because of course we’d have more than one baby.’ He stopped talking for a second or two before saying quietly, ‘Annie didn’t want to know.’
Tina looked at him. ‘Why on earth not?’
‘Said she’d never wanted to go down that bourgeois path, didn’t feel the necessity of having a piece of paper to tie us together and definitely didn’t want to own a house.’
Luc ran his hand through his hair. ‘It’s funny how you feel you know someone inside out and then something they say or do makes you realise that actually you don’t know them at all. I pointed out we were already living what I’d describe as a materialistic life – my salary at the time was huge, we both had decent cars and we rented a very nice mews house in Highgate. That’s when she told me. If she hadn’t met me she’d happily have stayed living off her pittance of a salary in a less salubrious neighbourhood and travelling everywhere on public transport.’ Luc rubbed his chin agitatedly and was silent for several seconds.
‘Getting pregnant had never been on her agenda. She’d just decided she wanted out, and had applied to do some fieldwork somewhere in Africa, and now she was pregnant she’d have to withdraw her application. Suddenly I was Mr Bad Guy. I’d trapped her.’
‘How did you feel about that?’ Tina asked. ‘You must have been terribly hurt.’
Luc nodded. ‘The whole thing knocked me sideways.’
Tina picked up the bottle of wine and poured them both another glass. ‘So, did you split up before Penny was even born?’
Luc shook his head. ‘No, Annie stayed. Outwardly everyone thought we were happy starting our family, but the tension at home, not to mention the rows, was hard.
‘Naively, I felt everything would change once the baby was born. It did but not when, or the way, I expected. It took a year for things to blow up. The day after Penny’s first birthday, Annie told me she intended to reapply to do fieldwork in Africa. There was a year’s contract on offer.’ Luc was silent for a few seconds. ‘That was when things began to finally unravel. Leaving me was one thing but I couldn’t begin to understand how she could even contemplate leaving Penny.’
‘What did she expect would happen with Penny?’
‘She assumed my parents would help me – which they did and still do, as you know. Luckily, before she left, I insisted we saw a lawyer and Annie agreed I would legally be sole custodian of Penny.’
‘Luckily?’
‘She stayed out there for four years,’ Luc said quietly. ‘When she did come back last year she was ill. She’d picked up a tropical disease. She’d been back three months when she died.’
Tina looked at him stunned. ‘Did she see Penny when she returned?’
Luc shook his head. ‘No. Unfortunately we made the mistake of telling Penny that Mummy was coming home before we knew the true reason and she began to count down the days. Then the isolation hospital Annie was in said the risk of infection was too high in the beginning and their meeting was delayed and delayed until it was too late. Penny has zero memories of her mum.’
Listening to Luc, Tina felt several emotions run through her body. Sadness for Penny and Luc, regret at the waste of a life and anger at the way Annie had treated both of them. Now, as she squeezed Luc’s hand in silent sympathy, she struggled to find the right words to say.
It was Luc who broke the silence. ‘Did you say something about food? Might be a good idea – we seem to have finished the bottle of wine.’
Tina got to her feet. ‘Ham baguette and salad OK?’
‘Sounds great. I’ll give you a hand.’
Buttering the baguettes while Tina sorted the salad, Luc said quietly, ‘I’ve been trying to pluck up the courage to tell you about Penny ever since I met you.’
‘Why? Did you think I wouldn’t like her? She’s adorable.’ Tina put the salad and sliced ham on the worktop.
‘No, it wasn’t that. It was in case you didn’t like me as much as I hoped you did and didn’t plan on staying in my life. I didn’t want to introduce you to Penny only for you to decide six months down the road that you wanted out. Not only would that hurt me but in all probability Penny would be upset, especially now – she couldn’t stop talking about you on the way home this evening.’
Luc put slices of ham in the baguettes and piled salad on top. ‘You have to understand Penny and I… well, we come as a package.’
He looked up at her. ‘So, do I continue to have a strictly business relationship with Tina Matthews Literary Agency. Or…’ He took a deep breath. ‘Will Tina Matthews be my girlfriend and a special friend to a little girl called Penny as well?’