Jay floated on top of his surfboard, bobbing over the waves as the sky turned silver gold with the rising sun. He’d had to drag himself out of bed this morning, which was unusual for him. Usually he was up like a shot.

He couldn’t deny that he was physically exhausted. So was Marcus. Eli’s accident had weighed on both of them more than they’d ever want Eli to know. Those first two weeks had been absolute hell. A terrifying amalgamation of moments that were now burned into Jay’s brain.

Jay’s hand absently rubbed over his right thigh, where a thick, twisted, ten-inch scar was right under his wetsuit. He hated hospitals. He never wanted to go back to one as long as he lived. And every day that he’d spent with Eli in the recovery room had cost Jay greatly. But he knew what it was like to lay in a hospital bed, terrified and in pain and alone. He would never do that to his best friend. So he’d gone. He and Marcus had gone every day.

Unwillingly, Jay thought back to his own turn in the hospital all those years ago. The terror of thinking he might lose his leg. His horror at the hospital bills piling up. Because he was a young, dumb kid with no health insurance. And worst of all, he was alone. She hadn’t made it to the hospital.

He watched the orange in the sky deepen and thought, again, of the moment he’d thought of a hundred thousand times in the ensuing years. Her gorgeous face, her hair tangled and whipping around her in the tornado that the med-evac helicopter kicked up. They were safe, he’d thought. Finally, after all those days of thinking that the hurricane was going to kill the two of them and no one would ever know what had happened. They were being rescued. Already there were medical professionals working on his leg. The exhaustion had caught up to him. He’d fallen asleep holding her hand.              

But when he’d woken, the helicopter was landing at the hospital in Miami. And she wasn’t inside. She hadn’t come along. There wasn’t enough room in the helicopter for her and all the medical personnel that he’d needed, so she’d volunteered to stay, to wait for the next helicopter. And that’s the last he’d seen of her.

Jay sighed and stretched on the board. Same old story. He’d have thought that after all these years the pain of it would have lessened a little by now. But it was as sharp and potent today as it was the day he’d lain in his hospital bed and realized that the two of them had given each other absolutely no way to contact one another. That they’d been separated. Permanently.

And then he thought of the days following that horrible realization. Of looking up to his hospital room door and seeing Eli standing there, grinning. He thought of Marcus flying down the next day. And then his mother. And then Eli’s father. He thought of his family surrounding him and pulling him up in every way possible. But Eli had been there first. He’d been the first face that Jay had seen that he’d loved. And that moment was forever imprinted on his mind.

Not to mention Eli had immediately paid all of Jay’s hospital bills. Without even asking. At first, Jay had been insulted, a little outraged even.

“We’ll just subtract it from whatever I leave you in my will, okay?” Eli had said, a shit-eating grin on his face.

And Jay had had nothing to do but accept it. Accept the generous gift and accept his friend’s hospitality. Jay sat up and traced a hand over his face as he checked out the set of waves rolling in.

Not stellar, but definitely good enough to catch a ride back in to shore.

***

“I’m in love.”

Tia’s head snapped right up from where she was resting it on the steering wheel. They were just driving home from another visit with their parents and honestly, Tia was beat. She kept waiting for it to get easier. The blank expressions on her parents’ faces when they walked in the room. But no. It felt like a horrible rejection every time.

Maybe someday she would get used to it. But for now, she figured it was safer not to hope. This was just how it was going to be. A vacuum where her parents’ love used to be.

Both Tia and Laura had been quiet as they left the home. Tia had automatically gone into older sister mode, sliding into the driver’s seat. Even though Laura had driven them there.

Now, she stared at her sister with wide eyes, jolting when the car behind them honked. She accelerated through the green light. “Run that past me again?”

“I’m in love,” Laura repeated. She had a funny look on her face, happy and sad. Excited and terrified all at once. It was the complicated expression that had Tia believing the words coming out of her sister’s mouth. Laura had had big, romantic feelings a million times before. She often proclaimed them to be love. But she’d only ever looked thrilled about it. Now she looked like she was feeling everything about being in love.

“With Jace Overshire?” Tia scrambled to catch up.

Laura blushed and Tia gaped. Laura never blushed.

“Yeah. With Jace.”

“Wow. I—Wow. It happened so fast,” Tia marveled.

“I know.” Laura bit her lip and stared out the window of the car, watching the trees roll past. “I wasn’t expecting it. Just hit me like a Mac truck. All the sudden, BANG.”

“How does he feel?”

Laura leaned her head back on the seat. “I’m not sure. We haven’t really talked about it yet. But I know he doesn’t feel nothing. It might be too much to hope that he fell in love with me as fast as I did him, but there’s no mistaking that he’s really into me. You should see the way he looks at me sometimes. Seriously, it’s really something.”

Tia nodded. “You don’t sound altogether happy about being in love.”

“Well, it’s terrifying, isn’t it? I mean, being in love at all is pretty scary. It’s like handing somebody a knife and baring your neck.”

Tia swallowed. Was that how she’d felt about Owen? No. Not at all. Loving him, when she had, hadn’t really felt scary. It had felt expected, normal, a natural progression of their relationship.

“And you know what it’s like, starting a relationship with one of these allstar football players. It’s pretty much asking to get cheated on.”

Tia snapped to attention at that. Her throat got thick and her hands started sweating on the wheel.

“What do you mean I know what it’s like?”

“Well, you’re obviously in a relationship with Eli. And I’m sure you’re worried about what happens when the season starts, right? When they start traveling?”

“I hadn’t thought about it,” Tia responded in all honesty. “And I wouldn’t say that Eli and I are in a relationship. We’ve gone on a few dates. Kissed a few times. That’s it.”

Laura scrunched up her face. “What? That’s all? You haven’t slept with him yet?”

Tia shook her head.

“Why the hell not?” Laura exclaimed. “Tia, the man has had more sex than cupid!”

“Um. Yeah. That’s kind of part of the reason, Laura. I’m not all that interested in being added to his mile long list of sex partners.”

“Again. Why the hell not? T, I think you’re thinking of it the wrong way. It’s not a ‘list’ of sex partners. It’s a resumé.”

Tia laughed outright at that one.

“No, seriously, T. The man must be good at sex by now. Why wouldn’t you want to give that a shot? Especially after years of bad sex with Owen.”

Tia winced. She really regretted the infamous night of tequila shots and brutal honesty with her sister. It was only a few days after she and Owen had broken up and everything kind of came tumbling out.

“Owen wasn’t bad at sex, Laura. We’ve been over this.”

“Well, I refuse to believe that you’re bad at sex, Tia. I mean, after all, you’re almost my genetic twin. And I’m a sex goddess.”

Tia bit back her smile. “I’m not trying to belittle myself here. I’m just saying. I’ve never had good sex. And the one thing all my sex partners have in common is me.”

“I’m gonna pretend you didn’t say that.”

“No, really. Look, I like my life. I’ve got a good thing going at the hospital and with you. And with Ham. I like flirting with Eli and kissing him. And I’ll be sad when it’s over, probably sooner than later, and then I’ll move on. What’s so bad about that?”

“What’s bad is that you’re refusing to open yourself up to someone you could totally fall in love with all because you’re scared that you won’t stack up to his past sexual encounters. That’s really a bummer, Tia. You have more confidence than that.”

“I’m a realist, Laura. I live and die by facts and evidence and tried and true experimentation. Okay? At this point, I have all the evidence I need. I understand the situation. Even if it’s not a nice truth. Even if you don’t like it. Anyways,” Tia waved her hand through the air, thoroughly done with the uncomfortable topic, “tell me more about Jace.”

Laura narrowed her eyes at Tia. “Just because I’m about to gush about my new man doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten your insanely fucked version of the truth about your sex skills.”

Tia rolled her eyes. “Understood.”

Laura loosened her seatbelt and turned to face Tia. “Now, about Jace…”

***

“You really didn’t have to come today, man,” Eli said to Jay as he sat stiffly on the crinkly paper of the exam table.

Jay sat in a chair across the room next to Eli’s dad.

“I know. I just wanna be there for you. Like you were for me. Although, I’m probably gonna leave for the part where you bend over and cough, if that’s cool.”

“That’s a different kind of examination, son,” Ryan said, peering through his readers and flipping through an issue of Cosmo.

“Jesus,” the older man said as he squinted at a specific article. “How to get your man to… I didn’t even think that was anatomically possible.”

Eli and Jay grinned at one another.

“Come on, Pop,” Eli said, “I know you’ve been around the block a few times.”

“Sure, but the block I’ve been around appears to have been in a different city than this one. Perhaps even a different country.” He set the magazine aside and turned to face his son. “So, what are we hoping to hear today from Dr. Richards?”

Eli’s neck went a little tight. “Well, I mean, hopefully a clean bill of health and that I can get started with PT as soon as possible.”

“The recovery time is stated as six to eight weeks, Eli,” Jay reminded his friend. It was just this side of six weeks since his surgery and Eli was chomping at the bit to get the hell on with it. Jay just didn’t want Eli to be desperately disappointed if and when the doctors wanted him to continue pumping the brakes for a little while.

“I know, I know,” Eli said, scrubbing a hand over the back of his neck. A soft knock at the door had Eli straightening up quickly. “Come in.”

He couldn’t help the stomach flipping thrill that ricocheted through him when Tia poked her head in instead of Dr. Richards.

“Hi, can I come in?”

“Of course.” His smile couldn’t have been wider.

She wore pale lavender scrubs and glasses that matched perfectly. Her bright white tennis shoes squeaked on the linoleum floor and her braided hair shined, even in the fluorescent lights.

She was across the exam room and folded into Eli’s arms, smiling into the crease of his neck before she realized they weren’t alone in the room.

“Oh!” She jumped back from Eli, her cheeks going peach and her clipboard coming up in front of her chest as a sort of protective armor. She felt like a teenager getting caught kissing on a front porch after curfew. “Mr. Bird. Mr. Brady.”

“Ryan.”

“Jay.”

The two men corrected her at the same time. The three of them found themselves smiling at one another. Although Jay and Ryan were smiling for an entirely different reason than she was. They were smiling at that look on Eli’s face when she came into the room moments before. Neither of them had ever seen him look quite that way.

“It’s good to see you again, Dr. Camellia,” Ryan said, rising and moving toward her.

“Please, call me Tia,” she requested and let out a little “oof” of surprise as she was folded into Ryan’s arms in almost the exact same way as she had been with Eli.

“Dad,” Eli mumbled.

“What?” Ryan unhanded her. “I can’t hug the person who saved my son’s life?”

“If we’re giving out hugs,” Jay said, rising from his chair and pulling Tia toward him. They both came away grinning.

“Alright, alright,” Eli grumbled, reaching out with those long arms and catching her by the back of her scrubs, gently yanking her back across the room toward him. She settled next to him, leaning against one of his legs.

“I didn’t just come by to hand out hugs, you know,” Tia said, holding up her clipboard. “Dr. Richards is running behind, so I told him I’d go over your chart with you. He’ll come by in a little bit to go over some recovery and PT options.” She turned to Eli. “Is that alright? It’s not too weird for me to know your personal info?”

Eli was charmed and endeared by her. He reached out and covered her hand with his. “I’d rather you than a stranger.”

“Alright, so let me take a look here.” She opened up his chart, and Eli was very touched to realize that she really hadn’t gone over his chart before she’d asked. She was looking at his information for the very first time.

She made a few noises in the back of her throat while she read and then after a few minutes, eyed him over the top of the clipboard. “These are good numbers, Eli.”             

She held the clipboard out to him and turned to Jay and Ryan. “So, as you know, Dr. Richards ran all sorts of blood tests and whatnot over the last few weeks. It’s a way of tracking how his body is adjusting to not having his spleen anymore. Which is one of his main organs used for fighting infections and lots of other immune system functions. Eli’s tests have come out very well. He’s not only very healthy for someone who has just had his spleen removed, he’s very healthy for anyone at all. Now. Eli, can I see the incision sight?” Her eyes focused on him. “You’re supposed to be in a robe, by the way.”

Eli grinned and pulled his t-shirt up to expose the incision on his side.

Ryan leaned forward and squinted. “Is an incision for a spleen removal usually so large?”

“No,” Tia shook her head and leaned forward, studying the jagged scar and then pressing against the site with her fingers. She nodded. “It’s coming along nicely, Eli. Really, it looks beautiful.” She turned back to Ryan. “The incision site is actually where he was wounded when he came into the ER. Something happened during the accident that opened him up in that way.” Tia used her hand to gestures along the zigzag of the scar. “Whatever it was also punctured his spleen as well as rupturing it. I was able to use the wound as an entry point for the splenectomy. Normally it would be arthroscopic. Or, if that wasn’t possible, maybe an inch or two of a scar. This was largely reparative for the existing wound.”

She could feel the three men tightening up with the painful memories of Eli’s accident. She cleared her throat and reached for Eli’s hand.

“I’m sorry to speak in such graphic terms.”

“No,” Eli waved his hand through the air. “It helps to hear it straight, I think. What happened, happened. There’s no use pretending it wasn’t as serious as it was. Now, what do you think Dr. Richards will say about PT? You think I can start with my team’s physical therapist and sports doctor soon?”

“From a surgical perspective, yes. Of course you’ll have to start very slowly. Always minding for things like fever, abdominal pain, nausea. I’ll give you some pamphlets before you leave. As for your ribs, I’m not sure what he’ll say. But can I check you out? I can give you my own personal opinion.”

Eli lifted his shirt again and Tia performed a quick examination. He hated that a flash of the accident went through his head. One quick flash of the grating scream of the car over top of him. The raw, searing scrape of the asphalt underneath him. One flash that had Eli gritting his teeth against the pain.

“Hm.” She studied his face. “I think you’re still mending on your left side there.”

His usual smile fell away from his face. “What does that mean?”

“Well. It means that I wouldn’t recommend lifting weights, or climbing, or swimming. But you could probably jog as long as the actual motion of it isn’t too painful. After your ribs break, the general rule of thumb is if it aches, do it with caution, if it singes, don’t do it.”

Eli sighed. “Well, I guess jogging is better than sitting on my ass all day.”

Tia shrugged. “Dr. Richards may have a different answer than I have. But my recommendation would be to give it a few more weeks before you jump back into quarterback bootcamp. Try to get your cardio back. Work on flexibility. That kind of thing.”

Eli nodded, not wanting to show her quite how dejected he was at her assessment. He felt like a baby, pouting over what amounted to just a few days of his life. What was a few more weeks really?

Well, it was probably his whole next season. If he wasn’t performing at 100% in the next two months, he couldn’t, in good conscience, have Coach Best put him on the roster for this next season. It would mean yet another season, in the prime of his career, riding the bench and gritting his teeth as their second string quarterback made late, off target passes. Thank god for Jace Overshire. That guy could catch a loaf of bread from fifty yards ten feet off the mark.

Tia rose, checking her watch. “Alright, I have to report back downstairs.” She took a step away from Eli, paused and took the step back. “Are you still wanting to meet with me tonight?”

“Yes,” he answered immediately. Her peachy cheeks and serious little mouth going a long way toward soothing his bummed feelings from before. Maybe he wasn’t going to be able to go out and train the way he wanted to tomorrow. But he got to hold Tia Camellia in his arms tonight. Good trade as far as he was concerned.

“Alright. So. Nice to see you two.” She shook hands with Jay and with Ryan.

“Tia, is there a restroom around here?” Ryan asked, rising from his chair.

“Sure, I’ll show you where.” She led Ryan out of the room, smiling at Eli one last time before she shut the door softly behind her.

“So,” Jay started without preamble. “You two are really not sleeping together?”

“Jesus,” Eli let his head drop back. “Since when are you and Marcus so obsessed with my sex life?”

“Yours? Not at all. Hers? Maybe. That girl is smoking.” Jay tucked his tongue into his cheek and tried not to laugh as Eli shot daggers at him.

“Shut the hell up, man.” But Eli was smiling too. He knew when he was getting ribbed. And it didn’t particularly bother him. But one thing did. “You really think it’s that weird that I’m taking things slowly with her?”

“Is that what you’re doing?”

“Yeah. I mean, I’m trying not to have any expectations because she’s made it really clear that a sexual relationship isn’t in the cards for us. But. Man.” He scrubbed a hand over his five o’clock shadow. “I just really, really like her. And I can tell that she likes me. But something is holding her back. And I can’t tell if it’s up to me to help get it out of the way for her.”

“Yeah,” Jay considered, leaning back in his chair for a second. “I don’t know, man. I mean, people are complicated. And everybody’s got their shit to shovel through. I think the best you can do is ride it out with her, try not to push her too hard. And if it gets to be too much for you, bail.”

“Yeah,” Eli said, staring at a spot on the wall and pulling his eyebrows down.

“The really crazy thing though, for me, isn’t that you’re not sleeping together yet, it’s that you’re investing yourself so heavily into her.”

“What do you mean so heavily? We’ve hung out at each other’s houses a few times, snuggled up to watch movies and made out. That’s it.” Eli wasn’t sure why his back had gone up so much at that comment, but it had.

“That’s what I’m saying, Eli. For you, that’s really heavily invested. You don’t do that shit with girls.”

Eli fell silent, raking his hand over his face again. “God. That’s pathetic.”

“What is?”

“I don’t know. Both you and Marcus have made comments about that recently, about my past. And I guess I’m just starting to see it through you two’s eyes. And, I don’t know, it makes me sad. The different girl every week thing. The never calling them back and the never giving a shit thing. It just makes me sad that that was my reality for so long. And it makes me a little sick, because I think it might be part of the reason why Tia isn’t interested in anything serious with me.”

Jay was quiet for a second. “It’s not pathetic. You know, it’s not the coolest either. The tabloids and the fansites all make you out to be this total ladies man, lothario, love-‘em-and-leave-‘em-type, and they make it sound like something kids should aspire to be. And that’s hard. You know? That’s just a hard thing to tout as being the goal. Because, first of all, that’s not really you and loving them and leaving them should never be the goal. It certainly wasn’t your goal.”

Jay sighed. “We both know that you were going through a rough time.” Jay’s eyes fell to Eli’s knee. And Eli knew that Jay was thinking about both the injury he’d suffered there and the many surgeries he’d had to go through after the injury had revealed an even greater threat to Eli’s well-being. “The whole serial dating thing didn’t really kick into gear until after you went through all that. When you were benched and scared for your life, literally, and fighting tooth and nail for recovery. I think most people would forgive you for going through a hound dog phase during all that. Tia included.”

Eli squinted his eyes, took a deep breath. “You think I should tell Tia the truth about what happened.” Even the thought of it had his stomach tightening. Eli had spent so much time, money, and effort to keep the truth about his health out of the news and off the gossip sites. The thought of telling anyone, even Tia, had a knot forming in his gut.             

Jay shrugged. “I don’t know. But I do know that you’re not gonna get closer to her if you’re holding yourself back. And she’s not gonna open herself to you if she’s operating under all these misconceptions about who you are, you know? So I guess the question is, are you just trying to sleep with her? Or are you trying to get close to her.”

Eli sighed. He knew the answer. He just wasn’t sure he was ready to face it.