They stayed in Ryan’s guest room for three nights before Mari found a place of her own to rent. It was a studio apartment with high ceilings, good light and zero counter space. But it was close enough to the ocean that Mari could taste the salt on the air and she could afford the rent. Perfect.

Jay didn’t spend the night at his own house for almost three weeks after they moved Mari into her place. Which was ridiculous, considering how much bigger Jay’s house was than hers. But they both tacitly understood that there was some sort of magic for her in having her own place. Feeling like a guest or a freeloader was her absolute nightmare right now.

And Jay? Well, anything was fine by Jay as long as it meant getting to see Mari every day. Getting to kiss the glow of her shoulder in the sun when he woke up. Getting to watch her stretch in nothing but her underwear as she loped toward the shower each morning. And getting to surf and cook and bike to work together? Forget it. He was happy, at peace in a way that he’d never been before.

Before the hurricane, he hadn’t known a love like this could exist. And after the hurricane, he hadn’t known if he’d ever get to experience it in person again. But now, he got to have his cake and eat it too. He loved Mari. And he damn near lived with her. Perfect.

It was at the end of that third week in her new place that Jay felt the uncomfortable sting of the precariousness of their situation. Mari refused to call herself his girlfriend, they hadn’t spent much time with his friends since the vacation, and she out and out refused to talk about their future.

Jay tried hard not to let it bother him. After all, he had about 95% of the things he’d ever wanted in his life. There was no need to be selfish. And besides, pushing Mari was a really good way to have her taking steps back from him. And he was flipping done with her taking steps back from him.

So it was with all that in mind that Jay’s hand froze for just the barest of seconds as it brought the bite of cereal to his mouth when Mari said what she did.

“I’m gonna go see Linc tonight.”

Jay cleared his throat. “Oh? I didn’t know he was back in town.”

Mari nodded and finished grabbing berries out of the fridge. “Mmhmm. Just for a few days before he’s back on his world tour.”

Play it cool, he told himself, but there was no stopping the words. “Your idea or his? To see each other.”

She eyed him for a second from across the counter before she crossed over her tiny kitchen and slid neatly into his lap. His hands came around her instantly and he welcomed the weight of her. The warmth of her. “His idea. And I’m starting to get deja vu.”

Jay grimaced. The very last thing he ever wanted to do was remind her of the douche in a suit. So he took a route much more in line with who he was. Painful honesty. “I just feel a little funny about it because you loved him for so long. And I love you so much. And you guys like, just broke up. But, you know. I’m a big boy. I can handle complicated feelings.”

Mari pulled her head back from the crook of his neck and eyed him. Something crossing her face that neither one of them could begin to interpret.

“I don’t love Linc. Not the way you’re thinking.” It was with tremendous relief that she realized that she didn’t feel like she was betraying Linc as she spoke. Her stupid sense of loyalty was the one thing that was sticking around from her relationship with him. It was her last remaining feeling, other than friendship. But as she spoke, she was realizing that her loyalty had started making a switch. It was much more with Jay than it was with Linc. “I don’t think I ever loved Linc the way you’re thinking.”

Something surprised and vulnerable flashed over Jay’s face and it made Mari have to lean in and kiss him quick.

“But he was really, really good to me for a long time,” she continued. “He was the only reason I got through those years after I lost you. And if it’s possible to keep him in my life then I want to.”

“I understand,” Jay responded gruffly. “I guess, in a way, I kind of owe him too. For taking care of my girl when I couldn’t.”

Mari nodded. “I know you don’t believe me, but the two of you would actually get along really well.”

“Yeah, not happening,” Jay said, the words flying out of his mouth before he could stop them. He pursed his lips in regret, but Mari just laughed.

“Fair enough.”

Jay rubbed a hand over his eyes and sighed. “Alright, so, what’s the best way for me to act in this situation? I want you to be comfortable.”

Mari’s heart swelled and words bubbled to her lips. She had to say them. She was gonna have to say them. Holding them back was starting to feel like a lie. But she couldn’t quite go there yet. There was something holding her back and she wasn’t sure what it was. So instead of putting words to the feeling that she was sure was being clearly transmitted in her eyes, she just answered his question.

“One: Just don’t make it weird. Two: Tell me you love me. And three: Ask me how it went when I get back.”

It was the first time that she’d requested for Jay to tell her he loved her and it squeezed something deep inside him, like a hand on a sponge. He’d told her a hundred times over the last three weeks and he’d always gotten the feeling that it had made her feel vaguely uneasy. But if she was outright asking for it? Well, he was going to give it to her in spades. With relish and mustard.

Jay threaded his fingers through her hair and tipped her backwards, his arms two tight bands over her body. “Mari, baby, I’m so in love with you I can’t see straight. And more than being in love, I just plain love you. I regular love you and super special love you all at the very same moment.”

Mari threw her head back and laughed but Jay didn’t miss the tenderness in her eyes. The thrill and shiver that had raced through her at his words. That’s what he liked to see.

***

Mari was nervous walking into the restaurant. It was weird to go to a restaurant with Linc. It wasn’t something they’d done very often when they were together, because of how much she disliked it. Dressing up and spending so much money on food that often had to be altered so that she could even eat it in the first place. Whenever they’d gone to a restaurant, it had been with clients of Linc’s.

So it was strange to see him sitting by himself across the dimly lit room. Romantic lighting flickered from every corner of the fancy restaurant and Mari pursed her lips. She wasn’t dressed up. She hadn’t wanted to, even after she’d googled the restaurant and seen how fancy it was. So she wore a plain black t-shirt and black slacks. The same thing she’d worn to work, and she noted with amusement, pretty much the exact same thing all the servers were wearing.

Linc looked up as she walked over and grinned, shaking his head at her attire. Mari tried to grin back but her eyes narrowed at the candles flickering on the table, the two glasses of wine already sitting in front of him. Oh lord. He better not be planning a romantic evening. The very thought of it made her stomach turn.

“Hi, stranger.”

“Hi.”

Linc rose and pulled her in for a brief hug and it was light enough not to send off any alarm bells in her head. But Mari was far from comfortable. As she sat at the fancy table across from her handsome ex-fiancé, Mari got a shot of something that felt strangely like betrayal up her spine. This didn’t feel good. This felt like it was a betrayal to Jay.

Mari was stunned at the realization that her loyalty and her love were fully in Jay’s corner. It had only taken three weeks for that man, that handsome, big-nosed man to just go ahead and win every bit of her allegiance. She blinked across the table at Linc, barely seeing him. Her feelings washed over her like a tidal wave. And she understood. She’d been loyal to Linc, but that was all. She’d never loved him like he deserved to be loved.

“I’m sorry.” The words were out of her mouth before she’d even thought them.             

Linc opened his mouth and closed it, his head cocking to one side. “For, uh, what?”

Mari shook her head at the waiter that was coming over, they definitely needed a minute. Taking a deep breath, she threaded her hair back with her fingers and looked Linc dead in the eye. Honesty, after all, was her thing. “For not loving you the way you deserved to be loved.”

Linc swallowed. Hard. He held her eyes. And then his hand snaked across the table and took hers.

Crap. She was sending the wrong message, she had to be. Linc was about to ask her to get back together. She could feel it. Mari’s eyes widened. And she did the only thing she could think to do. “I’m with Jay now. And I’m in love with him. And I’m never leaving him.”

Linc coughed, his mouth dropping open and his eyes bobbing wide. “Um. Okay.” He took a drink of his water, put it down and slugged back his glass of wine, reached for hers. “Wow. Mari, no matter how long I know you, your brutal honesty never ceases to amaze me.” He covered his eyes for a second but when he took away his hand there was a spark of amusement there, not the raw pain she’d been fearing. “You ever heard of a spoonful of sugar, kid?”

Mari, barely able to believe that he was smiling at her, smiled right back at him. “It makes the medicine go down?”

“Yeah, and it makes the harsh-ass truth go down as well.” He reached out and patted her hand. “If you ever have something like that to tell Jay, just ease him into it, honey. For his sake.”

Mari bit her lip. “You’re… not mad?”

Linc cleared his throat, tugged at the collar of his button-up shirt. “Mad? No. Jumping for joy? No. I expected it, Mari. I know you. I could see it on your face before you even knew you were feeling it. That night at the gala, I already knew. I saw the way you looked at that dumb ass surfer’s idiot face and I knew. Shit. She’s gonna leave me for this guy.”

Mari cast her eyes down, twirled the stem of the wine glass Linc had commandeered from her, but she didn’t drink from it.

“You left me,” she reminded him softly.

Linc scoffed. “Self-preservation.”

Mari’s eyes found his and again, she was distinctly relieved when she didn’t see raw pain. When she saw a small amount of fondness in there.

The waiter came over and Linc ordered for them, two meals, both vegan. Mari’s heart ached at his goodness. She really did care about him.

“So, ah,” she shrugged her shoulders after the waiter left, “is this a post mortem or what?”

Linc tugged at the collar of his shirt again. “Yeah. I guess. I wanted to make sure you were doing alright. And I wanted to, uh, tell you something.”

Mari took a deep breath and leaned forward. “What’s that?”

Linc shifted in his chair and a look that she’d never before seen came over his face. It was love and fear and confusion and discomfort and determination all wrapped up into one expression. Curiosity fully piqued, Mari leaned forward even more. “Linc, what is it?”

He passed a hand over his face and then his hair. “I’m having a kid.”

Mari froze. She simply didn’t move. Just full-on held still while emotions charged through her. It was quite possibly the very last thing she’d thought Linc was going to say.

“Holy shit,” she whispered and snatched her glass of wine from his fingers, chugged a little and handed it back to him.

“You’re telling me,” he muttered.

She had absolutely no idea what to say next. “With who?” Mari almost clapped her hand over her mouth for asking. It seemed like a rude question, although she couldn’t exactly say why that was.

“You, uh, don’t know her. I, God, barely know her.” He scrubbed his hands over his face again and then leaned back when the waiter brought out bread and appetizers. His eyes didn’t leave Mari’s face once and she found herself squirming uncomfortably.

“I didn’t cheat on you.”

The words hit her like a ton of bricks. Honestly, it hadn’t even occurred to her that he might have. But it probably should have occurred to her, considering how recently they were together.

“Okay. So she must not be very far along then, huh?” Mari chose her words very carefully.

Linc, bless him, held her eyes even if his cheeks went very pink. “She’s four weeks and three days along.”

Mari did some quick backwards counting and Linc saved her from it.

“We’ve been broken up about four weeks and three and a half days,” he admitted. His color went from light to deep, but still he held her eyes. “I was,” he cleared his throat, “upset. I went to a bar…”

Mari quickly held up her hands in surrender. “Let’s spare one another the details, shall we?”

“Right…” he trailed off, his eyes focusing on a drip going down the side of his water glass. “I still can’t believe it’s happening.”

“Yeah, Jesus. I mean, you’re kind of the last person I’d ever think would get somebody pregnant on a one-night stand.” She gestured at his neat suit and tie. “I mean, it took us months to sleep together.”

Linc raised an eyebrow. “That was you, not me.”

Mari frowned. “I held myself away from you?”

Linc stared at her like he was trying to see her through foggy glass. “Are you kidding?”

Mari frowned even more. “No.”

Linc sighed and played with his wineglass. “Mari, the story of our entire relationship was you holding yourself away from me.”

She winced. Either he didn’t notice or he didn’t acknowledge it as he continued on, “What you did share with me, I loved. Deeply.” His eyes shot up to hers. “But there were whole parts of you I never even met. Whole sides of you that you kept locked up so tight. And not that you were sharing them with anyone else. It’s just that it’s really hard to get to know somebody when they hold so much of themselves inside.” He paused, saw that his words were hard for her to hear, but she was hanging in there. “You never even told me you were in the hurricane. Three years together and you never mentioned it. That night at the gala…God. Not only did I meet the man you’re actually in love with that night, I met you too. The person you really are. The person you never were with me. You didn’t even give me a chance to meet that person.”

He blew out a long, thin breath as his voice shook just the tiniest amount. “I’m sorry. I’m really not mad, I swear. I’m just all out of sorts.”

Mari leaned forward and rested her hand on his arm for a second. “You’ve just broken off your engagement and then found out you were having a kid. You’re entitled to a little time in the out-of-sorts category.” She paused. “If it helps, I think you’re dead right about all that. I didn’t mean to do that. But I think I was too hurt to be in a relationship. To be able to really give myself, you know? But I was also too hurt to pass up all that help, all that love, when you offered it.”

“How did we spend three years down that road without realizing we were off the tracks?”

Mari shrugged. “I don’t know. Except to say that it felt right. Until it didn’t.”

Linc nodded. “The part that’s really getting me is that I thought I had the relationship thing figured out. I thought I was good at it, Mari. And then now. To have you sitting there and me sitting here. And to have it just be so damn clear that we wasted three years not even knowing one another. Well. I’m just scared to death I’m gonna do all that again. But this time it’ll be with the mother of my child.”             

Mari cleared her throat and leaned back when the waiter set their meals down in front of them. “So you’re pursuing a relationship with her?”

Linc nodded. “She turned me down flat. Says she doesn’t want to be with someone just because she’s pregnant. And she also doesn’t want to be with someone who’s not over their ex.” He waved between them. “Hence this dinner. Where I wanted to see if I was really over you.”

Mari swallowed a bite of her food a little faster than anticipated and washed it down with some wine. “You seem over me.”

Linc nodded side to side. “I feel pretty over you.” He glanced up at her. “You?”

“Yeah,” she nodded. “Over you.”

They found themselves grinning at one another for just a brief second.

“So,” Mari said. “She told you that she’s pregnant and that she doesn’t want to be with you?”

“Yeah, the telling me that she was pregnant thing didn’t go all that smoothly. I’m not sure if I took it in the best way. She told me two days ago, when I got back.”

“You went to see her?”

“Yeah. I’d been thinking about her while I was traveling. And when I got back into town, I called her up. She invited me over, was super nervous, and just, you know, told me. Straight up.”

“And…”

“And I didn’t speak or move for probably ten minutes?”

“Oh, Linc.” Mari face palmed.

“I know. And by then she was all riled up. Mad and hurt. And I get it. And then I told her I wanted to get married.”

“Oh, Linc!” Mari face palmed again.

“I know, okay? And the worst part is that I still had your engagement ring with me and I tried to give it to her.”

This time Mari forewent her palm and just planted her forehead right on the table. “You have got to be kidding me, you dumbass.”

Linc chuckled. “I wish I was kidding you. But no. She basically kicked me out on my ass and told me not to come back until I was over you and had my head out of my ass.”

“Wow.” Mari sat back, her eyes wide and dazed. “She sounds cool.”

“Yeah,” Linc’s cheeks pinked. “She’s really pretty too.”

Mari raised her eyebrows. “Man, this is all so surreal.”

“You’re telling me.”

***

Mari had an errand to run before she went back to her house, where she knew Jay was waiting for her. A few phone calls later, and she knew everyone she needed to be there was going to be there.

She took a deep breath before she walked into the old house and walked straight to the kitchen where she found everyone she’d expected to come.

“Thanks for meeting me,” she said to them all as she pulled out a chair and sat at the kitchen table.

“Now what’s this all about?” Marcus asked, looking around at Eli, Kat, and Ryan.

“Well…” Mari started, staring around at them all.

***

Jay and Mari were silent as he drove them to their favorite surfing spot. It was a Saturday morning. He was still groggy from the early morning and from their late night. He’d been in bed when Mari had gotten home, but he hadn’t been able to sleep. He’d wanted so badly to hear every detail of her dinner with Jay, but his “how was it?” was met with a simple “good.”

Jay figured he could ask for more details after they were done surfing. When he was calmer and more centered.

Even with their thick wetsuits on, Jay shivered as they swam out past the break. His face ached with the cold when they dipped under the water, but it made the crisp morning air feel so much warmer. The moon was still up on one side of the sky while the sun rose on the other side. Everything, the entire world, was lavender.

Including Mari’s lips. They floated side by side, straddling their boards, when he found he had to lean over and kiss the salt off her lips.

“I love you,” he murmured against her before he sat straight back up.

Mari stared him right in the eye. She nodded once, briskly. “I didn’t come straight home last night.”

“Oh?” His stomach plummeted. What was she telling him?

“I stopped by Ryan’s house and talked with Marcus, Eli, Ryan and your mom.”

Jay furrowed his brow. “About what?”             

“About the appointment I made for us today.” She swirled a foot in the water. “Well, about what that appointment means.”

“What appointment?”

“It’s at 3:00. At a tattoo shop. A really good tattoo shop. 389 five-star reviews on Yelp. A few bad ones. But if you look at the people’s profiles who left them you can tell—”

“Mari, what are you talking about?” Jay shifted his surfboard so that he was facing her directly. His heart was racing. She was telling him something important, but he couldn’t for the life of him figure out what the hell it was.

“Right. Sorry. I guess I’m a little nervous.” She cleared her throat and stared him in the eye. Startling green into Sinatra blue. “The tattoo appointment is for us to get,” she tapped the third finger on her left hand, “wedding bands tattooed on. Because neither of us care about jewelry, but I’ll want people to know we’re married. And also, I’m never divorcing you. Or letting you divorce me. So permanent is better than something you can just take on and off anyways.”

Jay simply stared at her. His mouth might have been open, he wasn’t sure. He had no earthly idea. The gentle swell of the ocean pushed him up and down, but other than that, not a single molecule of him moved. He was simply frozen in place.

“Jay?” Mari prodded him with one foot. “You alright?”

“Did,” he croaked out, “you just ask me to marry you?”

“Oh,” Mari frowned. “I guess I skipped that part. Will you marry me?”

He coughed. Stared at her long enough that Mari fidgeted on her board. “Say something,” she murmured.

“Do you love me?” he asked in a hoarse voice.

“Oh God.” She rolled her eyes at herself. “Sorry. I really screwed this up. Jay, I love you so much it scares me. I love you in every way.” She crawled forward and off her board, onto his, she straddled it so that they faced each other, her legs slung over his. “I love you like a friend, like family, like a hero, a savior, like just this guy I know, like a boyfriend.” She looked up at him through her lashes. “Like a husband.”

She pressed her lips to his and he still felt frozen in time.

“I love you in every way possible. And I’m keeping you, okay?”

It was then that his heart started beating again. Jay suddenly found himself with his arms completely full of Mari and he knew that he was squeezing her too tight, but he couldn’t stop himself. She was his. She was finally his.

He loosened up his grip when she coughed a little, taking a deep breath when he unhanded her.

“So that’s a yes?” she asked, cocking her head to one side.

“That’s a hell yes,” he replied, taking her face in his hands and kissing the ever-loving breath out of her.

They surfed in then, both of them anxious to be able to touch one another. And they jogged over the sand, tossed their boards on the rack on top of Jay’s car and fell into the back seat. They laughed as they struggled with their wetsuits, relishing each tiny strip of skin that was revealed on the other.

And when they came together, finally, fully, they both thought of their first time, of the miracle that had brought them together. It had been a miracle for them to be stranded in the hurricane together. A miracle for them to find one another again. And this, right here, the gasping, joyous love they made in the back seat of his car—that was a miracle too.