Anna gazed at the house, her long, ivory dress rippling in the cold, December breeze, and took a moment to herself. Primrose Cottage had been cleaned to within an inch of its life and the garden chopped back and tamed, until it resembled chocolate-box perfection. Diane had strung clear lights across the trees and mistletoe hung over the front door. The outside had been repainted cream and the windows washed. Tony had done the chicken hut up in French Grey and Diane and Larry’s wedding present to Anna, half a dozen Bantam chickens, happily shuffled around the front garden.
A marquee had been erected on the drive and, at the first sight of guests making their way up the hill, Anna dashed inside.
‘This is for you,’ Diane said, handing her a letter. ‘Came this morning.’ She smiled. ‘Looks important and I bet it holds good news.’
‘It’s from Simon’s solicitor friend.’ Anna read the return address quickly. ‘I’m not sure I can open it. I don’t want to ruin today.’
‘It won’t.’ Diane shook her head firmly. ‘I know it.’
‘No.’ Anna put it on the side. ‘I want to believe this cottage is still mine, just for the next twenty-four hours.’
‘It may be yours for a lot longer than that.’
Anna narrowed her eyes. ‘You seem awfully sure of yourself.’
‘Do I?’ Diane looked to the sky and gently whistled under her breath.
‘You’ve opened it, haven’t you?’ Anna said.
Diane smiled. ‘I may have, but didn’t I do a good job sealing it back down?’
Anna gave a small laugh. ‘So, it’s really good?’ Diane nodded. ‘OK, but if you’ve misread it, you’re entirely to blame.’
Diane rolled her eyes. ‘I can read, Anna. I am literate.’
‘That’s questionable,’ said Anna’s mother as she swanned into the front room wearing a plum-coloured dress, magenta jacket and yellow hat. ‘I’ve just seen the invites you sent out, Diane,’ she said, holding one up, ‘and I’m frankly amazed anyone’s actually turning up. Why did you leave her in charge of your invites, Anna?’
Anna smiled. ‘Because she’s more creative than me.’
‘Well, look at this.’ Linda read an invite aloud, her eyes skimming the text. ‘We would be well pleased if you could find the time to join us at Primrose Cottage where my bestie, Anna Compton will be marrying a rich man, Horatio Spencerville, and we plan to party like it’s nineteen ninety-nine. LMAO. Any questions, phone me on my mobile (if I can get reception) and, if not, send a pigeon. LOL.’
Anna burst out laughing. ‘That is absolute genius.’ She paused. ‘So you sent that to my snooty cousin Victoria?’
Diane nodded. ‘Yeah.’ She walked over to the window and peeped out. ‘Well, didn’t put anyone off. They’re all filing into the marquee now.’ She turned from the window and looked at Anna. ‘Your man looks sexy as hell by the way.’
Anna smiled. ‘That’s because he is sexy as hell.’
Diane nodded. ‘My man is also looking sexy as hell.’
‘He’s wearing flares and a seventies shirt,’ Linda pointed out.
Diane looked at her, bemused. ‘So? What were you wearing in the seventies?’
Linda threw her head back. ‘I had a great short white dress and knee-high boots. Anna’s father wore flares and a silver jacket.’ She glanced at Diane. ‘But it was the seventies.’
‘Well, in our minds, we’re hippies floating happily through a field and that’s why I’m wearing—’
‘A cheese-cloth?’ Linda cut in.
Diane’s mouth gaped. ‘Well, at least I don’t look like a parrot.’
‘Ladies.’ Anna put her hand up. ‘Please. What’s going on with you two? You’ve been at each other’s throats all morning?’
Diane looked at Anna, a bashful expression crossing her face, and Linda looked at the ground.
‘I don’t want you to go,’ Diane said, her lower lip stuck out.
‘I’m only going to Ridley Manor. It’s three miles away.’
‘She’s right,’ Linda said. ‘As much as it pains me to say this, I’m going to miss living with my daughter.’
‘I’ll be back tomorrow.’
‘It’s not the same, is it?’ Diane’s lip wobbled now.
‘Anyway, I thought you and Larry would like to live here with Advocat.’ Anna picked up the envelope and tore it open. ‘You might have sealed it well, Dee, but the Nutella stain’s a bit of a giveaway.’ She held up the letter, half the writing obscured by sweet, chocolate-like gunk.
‘Whoops. My bad.’ Diane smiled sheepishly.
Anna nodded, a slow grin forming across her face.
‘What does it say?’ Linda said.
‘That basically Richard hasn’t got a chance in hell of winning this as he’s already loaded and I’m divorced with two young kids.’
‘Um, but,’ Linda looked at her watch, ‘in ten minutes you’ll be wealthier than him and married.’
‘But you’ll still have two young kids,’ Diane said solemnly.
‘Yes, but it goes on to say that Richard is too late to contest anyhow. As of,’ Anna shook her head disbelievingly,’ as of yesterday.’
‘Wow,’ Diane said. ‘So we’re really going to live here? Me and Larry and this one?’ She pointed to her stomach. ‘Oh, which reminds me.’ She picked up a small stack of cards. ‘Have a business card.’ She handed one to Anna and then one to Linda. ‘I am now a mobile heavy metal make-up artist.’ She smiled. ‘Look at the quote I got off Manson.’
Anna read it aloud. ‘“If you want to look like death warmed up, Diane’s your woman.”’
‘Great, isn’t it?’ Diane gushed as Larry walked in, smoothing his hair. ‘I’m already fully booked for two days next week.’
‘Wow,’ Anna said admiringly. ‘Amazing. Also, didn’t know there was such a demand.’
‘My girl can draw a bat on my face any day,’ Larry said.
Linda let out a hoot. ‘That’s what the young call it now. Do you hear that, Tony?’
Tony had just sauntered down the stairs, wearing a magenta suit that matched Linda’s jacket, and puffing a cigar. ‘Arrr.’ He blew a smoke ring.
‘I suddenly feel like I’m tripping out,’ Anna said. ‘Saturday Night Fever meets Hairspray.’
The sound of the front door squeaking on its hinges caused Anna to turn.
‘They’re ready for you,’ came a voice behind.
She saw Lucinda and smiled. ‘Hey.’
‘Hi,’ she smiled. ‘Angela’s got her camera at the ready.’
‘When you guys off to America?’ Anna said, moving towards the door.
‘In a couple of days. We head over to San Francisco and go from there.’ She nodded. ‘The kids are super excited.’
‘I bet.’
‘Is this the posh lesbian you were telling me about?’ Linda said, joining Anna at the door.
Anna glared at her mother but Lucinda laughed.
‘I am the Greater Posher Lesbian.’ She held out her hand. ‘And you must be the eccentric, highly sexed mother I’ve heard many stories about.’
They shook hands vigorously.
‘You’re so brazen. I like that in a woman,’ Linda said. ‘You could do worse than pass some of that confidence on to my daughter.’
‘I think your daughter’s doing just fine in that area.’ She smiled at Anna. ‘She quite rightly told me when I was being a pain in the butt and I’m eternally grateful to her for it.’
‘I did too,’ Diane said, skipping over. ‘I told you that too. You can’t give Anna all the credit.’
‘Ah, Diane.’ Lucinda nodded. ‘No, you can be quite outspoken when you want to be too.’
‘Ha, you see, Linda.’ Diane looked at her. ‘Lucinda knows I’m literate.’
‘She called you outspoken, darling.’ Linda shook her head and glanced at Lucinda. ‘We all know you can talk but can you write proper English, that was my question.’
‘Everyone,’ Anna said, interjecting. ‘I’m just about to get married, so if you could all stop bickering like little children and…’ She looked around the room. ‘Oh God, where are the children? Diane, where are the children? I left them with you.’
Angela appeared at the door with a camera round her neck, wearing a tuxedo and looking ridiculous levels of Kate Moss-stylish in it. ‘Amy, you look beautiful.’
‘Thanks, Angela.’ She smiled briefly. ‘Have you seen my children?’
‘Oh yeah, they’re in the marquee trying to get your chickens to sit in their seats.’ She paused. ‘Oh, by the way, the reverend guy just came over and started making small talk and asked me how long I had known an Anna. I said “Do you mean Amy?” and he just walked off.’ She shrugged. ‘Everyone’s determined to call you Anna, Amy. Very strange.’ She gave a small shake of her head.
Lucinda smiled. ‘I told you already that her name is Anna.’
Angela looked at Anna and, a heartbeat later, laughed. ‘God, well, you should have just said!’
Barry knocked on the door. ‘Compton, tell me you’re going to give The Post the ongoing love saga… I have so much fanmail of yours, it’s almost ridiculous.’ He smiled, his cheeks flushing. ‘I feel quite emotional today.’
She drew Barry into a hug and, for once, felt a huge amount of affection for her roly-poly boss.
Music started up and Barry gave her a brief kiss on the cheek. ‘Good luck, Compton.’
Everyone started to file out but Diane and Linda hung back.
Diane kissed her on the cheek and said, ‘Break a leg. Actually, don’t, because that would be a disaster, but just…’ She stopped and smiled, tears filling her eyes. ‘God, my bestie, getting properly married to a prince type.’
‘Go on,’ Anna said, hugging her. ‘Before you set me off and I end up with mascara down my cheeks.’
‘Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it. It’s one of my many tricks of the trade.’
Eventually, Anna and her mother were left alone.
‘You know, darling,’ she took Anna’s hand, ‘I’m very proud of you. I know bringing those children up alone hasn’t been easy and people will judge. But you just got on with it and,’ she paused, ‘they’re basically all right, aren’t they?’
Anna nodded. ‘I’d like to think more than all right, but OK…’
‘Well, I mean you’ve made a pig’s ear of some things but you’re basically a great mum and,’ she cleared her throat, hurriedly brushing away tears, ‘I wish I had mothered you in the same way.’
‘Really?’ She smiled gently. ‘Thanks, Mum.’ Anna nodded. ‘And thanks for giving me away today.’
‘Your dad would be proud.’ She readjusted her yellow hat and made for the door. ‘You ready?’
‘Ready as I’ll ever be.’
Linda looked down at Anna. ‘Tummy in, darling. We don’t want people thinking you’re preggers again, do we?’
Anna bit her lip and forced a smile. ‘Let’s make it a good day, shall we?’
‘Of course.’ Linda took her arm and led Anna outside. ‘I’ve already spoken to the barman and my Martinis are lined up.’
They approached the entrance to the marquee and Lucinda, having spotted them, nodded at the jazz band. A swing version of ‘Dancing Queen’ filled the tent and Anna spotted Lady Spencerville slump further down in her seat. As they walked slowly, arm in arm, towards Horatio, the guests let out little gasps of delight at Anna’s dress and her mother leant in.
‘I told you my outfit would be a hit,’ Linda said out of the side of her mouth.
Once at the front, Linda let go of Anna’s arm and took up her place next to Tony. The twins ran to Anna’s side, each holding a Bantam chicken. Anna looked down at them, bringing them into her. Diane tried to retrieve them but Anna shook her head.
‘It’s OK, they can stay here with us.’
‘You look beautiful,’ Horatio whispered, grinning.
The reverend smiled at them and started to address the congregation. After a few minutes, he said, ‘I believe you have written your own vows.’
Anna nodded and placed her hands in Horatio’s, turning towards him. The twins shuffled around with her and all three of them looked up at Horatio.
‘Mr Horatio, the first day I saw you, I thought you a pompous man with no heart but you’ve taught me to open my heart and my eyes. You’ve shown me patience and kindness, even when I’ve not listened to you. You’ve been there for me from the moment I met you. I love you, Mr Horatio, and Jeremy too.’ She smiled at Jeremy, sitting in the front row, and beckoned him to join them at the front. Jeremy came over shyly and stood next to his father. ‘My vows to you are that: I promise to listen more and talk less, I promise to try and call you by your proper name and not Mr Horatio, and I will endeavour to get you into a onesie for a movie night.’
Horatio laughed with the congregation, before clearing his throat. ‘Anna, the first day I saw you, I thought you a feisty and fascinating woman and, to this day, I feel no different. I love you with all my heart, and your children.’ He looked down at the twins, who were trying to contain the fluttering chickens in their arms. ‘I promise to be good to you, I promise to stop laughing at you all the time because I know it bothers you. But, between you and me, I’m never laughing at you, it’s just that you fill my heart with joy. Finally, I promise to get you back in that ‘Dancing Queen’ costume for a private viewing before the end of the week.’
Anna giggled, blushing, and, moments later, they were asked to kiss. Horatio placed his lips firmly on her own and, to much applause, and wolf-whistles from Diane and Linda, Anna kissed him back through a haze of tears. They pulled the children, busy trying to get the chickens to kiss, into a hug and Anna knew she had found her happy ever after.